Bi-Sensual

by Nikki- Michelle

  There were a few things that Mona hated, thanks to the woman who had birthed her. She hated to be hit by men. She hated for a man’s hand to go anywhere near her neck, even if she trusted him. I was the exception, only because I had worked like hell to break that wall down. And even still, I had to proceed with caution. Mona hated for a woman to touch her, look at her, or make any kind of sexual advances toward her. She also hated for anyone to spit on her.

  I’d known when the woman spit on her last night that if I didn’t get Mona out of that club, there would be hell to pay. That was why I’d been happy when she and Demi emerged, unscathed, from the club. It had been risky letting them go back in, but better them than me. I couldn’t risk losing everything again.

  By the end of the workday, I was anxious to get home. There were only so many hours of a teachers’ workday meeting that I could take, especially when my coworkers didn’t have the passion that I did when it came to the kids. The one thing that I couldn’t stand was for a teacher to be in it only for the paycheck. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the motivation for a lot of the teachers in the Clayton County school system.

  I left work with a lot on my mind. I needed a few distractions. My mind went back to seeing Demi and Mona kissing in the club. I was anxious to see it again. This time up close and personal, with no interruption.

  I’d just pulled into my driveway when my phone rang. I smiled upon seeing the caller’s ID.

  “Bonswa, my son. I wish you would come home. Kouman ou ye?” my mom said when I answered, her Haitian accent still a bit thick even after years of being in America. That was her greeting. That had been her greeting for the past seven years.

  “N’ap boule, Mama. I’m fine,” I responded.

  “He can’t come home when the biggest gang in New York has it in for him,” my pops said.

  They had me on speaker. I could hear Wheel of Fortune playing in the background. His words took me back to the day that changed my life.

  “One day, Mama, one day. But you guys can always come visit me,” I said.

  Mama sucked her teeth. “Nah. I hear those people move too slow. Talk too slow.”

  I chuckled. “It’s not as fast paced as New York, but if you want to see me, the South is where I am.”

  “One day, son. One day I will get dis woman out of New York, cha?” my pops said.

  None of us knew why my pops said “cha” at the end of all his sentences, but he had been doing it for as long as we could remember. I smiled. They were still in high spirits. Despite all I’d taken them through, they still loved me. We talked awhile. They wanted to know what I’d been up to and how I was doing. They didn’t ask about Demi. They never asked about him. To them, he didn’t exist. They blamed him for my exile from New York. Saw him as the reason their son couldn’t come home.

  “We see Nikki today,” my pops said.

  Sometimes my parents didn’t use the right tenses when they spoke, even though they had been exposed to the English language for some time. Still, I knew what they meant. I sat up, ears on alert, wondering what he was about to say.

  “How is she?” I asked.

  “She look happy. Still married,” Mama said.

  Suddenly, my stomach felt very hollow, like my insides had bottomed out.

  “Did she say anything to you guys?”

  “Yes,” Pops said.

  And then there was silence on the other end of the line. They knew what I was going to ask next. Knew what I wanted to know, but they wouldn’t be the first to mention it.

  “Was he with her?” I asked.

  “Yes, son, he was with her,” Pops said.

  I rolled my shoulders and balled my lips. “What—”

  “She ask for ya number,” Mama said, cutting me off.

  My blood pressure spiked. I rocked back and forth for a second.

  “We give it to her if that’s okay,” Pops said.

  I was quiet. Couldn’t bring myself to say a word. Nicole had asked for my number. After all these years, she’d asked for my number. The thought of her calling made me anxious.

  “Son?” Pops called out to me.

  “Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Did she say when she would call?”

  Mama answered, “No. Just asked for the number. She wait ’til he walk off to ask, though. Look like she want to cry. Maybe she not wanting to be so evil anymore.”

  Pops said, “Good sign for you, cha?”

  I nodded like they could see me. I didn’t know if I was nodding to answer my pops or just nodding because anxiety had taken hold of me. Either way, Nicole had asked for my number. That meant she knew how to contact me. Meant she was thinking about me. In some capacity, I was on her mind. I talked to my folks for a little while longer. Spoke about my other brothers and sisters. Spoke about other family members. I hung up, more hopeful that the chapters about Nicole and me were still unfinished.

  * * *

  It was a few hours later, but I needed a distraction. I need to get a high that could be given to me only by someone else. I needed to feel something, anything, that would take my mind off of the conversation with my parents. I didn’t want to think about Nicole calling. It would take me back to the darkest time in my life.

  I went to Mona. Demi was still at work. I texted him. Told him to meet us there once he got off. I expected some kind of push back from him. I got none. Mona had just gotten out of the shower when she answered the door. She had a white bath sheet wrapped around her breasts. The peppermint and rosemary scent wafting around the room beckoned to me.

  I kissed her. Before she could say hello or smile, I stuck my tongue in her mouth as I kicked her door closed. I wanted her. Needed her. I ran my hand through her braids. Massaged her scalp as I used one arm to lift her around my waist. She gave no resistance. No objections. She didn’t tell me no.

  Mona never told me no. That was what endeared her to me. For a woman to accept me, all of me, down to the demons I liked to keep locked away, was an aphrodisiac. Mona knew my sexual preference. She didn’t run away from it. She welcomed it with open arms. Wrapped me between her welcoming arms and legs and allowed me to be the man I was.

  I took her to the bed. Removed the towel and admired everything that made her a woman. Her braids fanned out on the bed behind her. Innocent eyes gazed up at me. For a moment, a brief moment, Nicole was lying on the bed. Scared, but willing. Eager to learn what it took to please me.

  I undressed. Did so slowly because that was the way she liked it. I caressed and stroked my manhood as well. She got off on that too. I crawled on the bed, between her thighs. All I wanted was her. All I needed was her. I needed to make it right. Needed her to know she was never supposed to walk in on my secret. But Demi . . . Damn, Demi. He was so seductive. So powerful. Anytime I was with him, my need for him overpowered my love for her. But then, when I was with her, my need for him didn’t matter.

  It was a confusing place to be. So confusing. As I kissed her face, her eyes, her mouth, her ears . . . her neck, I slipped inside of her. That deep breath she took when I let her feel me, raw and uninhibited, was my undoing. Damn, she was so tight. So wet. So willing to do whatever it took to please me.

  I’d fucked up. I should have told her. Should have told her a long time ago that I was a man who knew both sexes equally and intimately. But I couldn’t. Didn’t want to risk losing her, but then I lost her, anyway. I moved in and out of her with precision, intending to make her lose her mind. I wanted her to let go and tell me all the nasty things she wanted me to do to her.

  She did. Just like I’d taught her, she told me,” Ooh, shit, Elliot. Right there. Right there. That’s the spot. Fuck me.”

  And I did. I fucked her just the way she liked. She stuttered. Spoke in her father’s native tongue. Something that at one time, she’d promised never to do. She held me close, pulled at me. Clawed at my back, leaving her mark. Letting the world know I was hers and hers alone. I slipped my hand underneath her ass cheeks. Spread those beautiful globes apar
t so I could go deeper.

  She loved that shit. Loved when I found another room inside of her womb to occupy. She jerked when I hit that spot again. Closed her eyes and floated away. The fire we had couldn’t be replaced. No matter how many miles, no matter who came and went.

  I missed her. Could admit that now. I felt my orgasm traveling up my spine, then back down. I went deeper. Pumped harder. Her face glowed. She was in heaven. On cloud nine. I was right there with her.

  “Come for . . . Ooh, shit. Come for me . . . Elliiiooottt,” she moaned.

  I shook my head. The haze over my eyes faded away. Nicole didn’t moan as beautifully as this. Nicole could never moan and trigger me to come. It wasn’t Nicole. Too late, I remembered where the hell I was. Too late to pull out when I realized I was raw inside of Mona. She kept moaning. Fuck! Fuck her and her moans.

  “Oh, fuck. Oh, shit,” I growled out.

  I couldn’t pull out. Not now. It was too late. Couldn’t pull out when her pussy had me in a death grip. I cussed in French Creole. Cussed Mona.

  “Fuck, Mona! Shit. Stop,” I pleaded.

  I begged her to stop, but I was on top. I was in control, but I wasn’t. I could pull out anytime I wanted, but I couldn’t. Shit felt too good. Fuck her Kegel muscles for locking me inside of her. The muscles in my back screamed. The muscles in my thighs . . . I got a charley horse because I stroked so hard . . . so deep . . . so long. I released the seed I would have wasted, all inside of Samona.

  We sounded like animals as I came. She came again. Came with me. Eyes wide. Shocked that I had come inside of her with no barrier between us. In awe of how hard my dick had gotten. I was so into the moment, I didn’t even notice the scrapes and cuts on the palms of her hands.

  I collapsed on top of her. All that could be heard was our intense breathing. I was sure the fact that I’d forgone a condom was on her mind, as it was mine. Guilt also occupied my thoughts. Would never want Mona to know I’d thought about another woman while in the act of congress with her.

  Those were my thoughts when I was finally able to catch my breath. I pulled back, slipped out of her. My cum and hers trailing behind the flaccidity of my dick. I sat back on my haunches and looked down at her. Mona was weak. She looked like she wanted to suck her thumb and fall asleep. I knew the feeling. So much so that I lay beside her. A few seconds later, my eyes closed.

  * * *

  I woke up to my phone ringing. I groggily crawled to the edge of the bed. Snatched my phone from the clip on my belt and answered.

  “Hello.”

  There was silence.

  “Hello,” I said again. “Who is this?”

  “Ell-Elliot?”

  Her voice stilled me. It woke me up too. Any sleepiness or tiredness I felt flew out the window. I looked over to see Mona was still sleeping. Her braids covering half of her face. Mouth open.

  “Nicole?” I said into the phone.

  There was a pause before she said, “Yes.”

  It had been over six years since I’d heard her voice. It was still as beautiful and sexy as I remembered it. She still had that welcoming and comforting tone that oozed sensuality while demanding respect.

  Awkwardness settled over the conversation. I didn’t want that.

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “I’m well. You?”

  “I’m here.”

  Funny how that happened. I didn’t want to tell her I was well. Didn’t want her to think I was too happy without her. Didn’t want her to think I was down and out, either. Just that quick, Mona and Demi had been reduced to . . . me just being here.

  “That’s good. So many aren’t here anymore,” she said.

  I sat up. Threw my legs over the side of the bed. The cool breeze of the room wafted over my back and ass. Phone in my left hand, I ran my right hand over my head. There I was, naked in Mona’s hotel room, talking to my ex while the man I loved was probably on his way. Complicated life I lived.

  I heard children in the background. My heart sank a little.

  “True,” I said.

  I was anxious. My leg started to shake. Shoulders tensed up a bit. I was wondering if she had called for what I thought she had. Wanted to ask her if he was around. Needed to know if she could talk openly and freely. Would she have called if she couldn’t?

  “I, uh . . . I’m calling because . . .” She kept starting, then stopping. Like she didn’t want to say what she’d called to say, but knew she had to say it since she had called. I waited. Patiently.

  “Mommy,” I heard in the background.

  My ears perked up. I stood. My dick, now limp, rocked and swayed like a pendulum, the head hitting my thigh before settling again.

  “Yes, baby?” Nicole answered. She answered him with the sweetest voice. Handled him with care. The same as she used to do with me.

  “Is that my daddy?” the kid asked.

  I ran a hand down my face, waiting for her to answer him again. I heard her sniffle.

  “Yes, Jacques,” she said.

  Jacques asked, “Is he going to get to talk to me today? Can I talk to him? I did all my chores. I even helped Malcolm with yard work.”

  His voice was that of a child who desperately wanted something that he knew there was a chance he wasn’t going to get. So he laid it on thick, telling his parent all the things he had done in an effort to get what he wanted. Malcolm was Nicole’s husband, and while I’d damn near ripped his arm from his body once before, different family members and old friends had assured me he treated Jacques with just as much love as he did his biological children with Nicole.

  My eyes burned with unshed tears. “Can I . . . can I talk to him?” I asked.

  Nicole didn’t say anything. I balled my fist, trying to control all the feelings running through me. A cacophony of emotions battled for dominance inside of me. I didn’t know exactly what I felt in the moment. Anger. Rage. Love. Regret . . .

  “Please,” I begged. “I won’t be long. Won’t say the wrong thing. I’ll do it just the way you want me to. Please, Nicole.”

  I heard her crying. She was conflicted. I understood, but I hated it all in the same breath.

  “Mommy, what’s wrong?” Jacques asked.

  Another child yelled in the background, “Daddy, Mommy is crying!”

  “Oh, gosh,” Nicole muttered.

  “May I—”

  “Not now,” she said, cutting me off. “I have to go.”

  “Nicole.”

  “Not now, Elliot. Please. I have to go.”

  Before I could say anything else, she hung up. I stifled a yell but threw the phone across the room. The protective case kept it from shattering. In that moment, I wished I had a protective case to keep my heart from shattering. I paced the small space, fist clenched so tight that the muscles in my arm burned.

  I turned to find Mona awake. She was sitting up in the bed, towel covering her breasts, as she watched me. She had questions but knew by the look in my eyes not to ask them. I wondered how much she’d heard. Wondered if another woman had stumbled onto my secrets.

  Mona

  He dressed quickly and quietly. Before that, I had woken to find him pacing like a caged animal. Anger leaping from his skin into the ambiance of the room. I hadn’t said a word. After dressing, he walked across the room and then snatched his phone from where it had fallen. I wondered if he even knew his eyes were red, with water threatening to fall from them. I had no idea what she’d said to him, but I knew whoever Nicole was, she had been on the other end of the line.

  I didn’t move. Didn’t budge. I actually didn’t know what to do. What to think. Whatever Nicole had said had rattled him. Elliot turned to look at me, but I doubted he saw me. The look in his eyes actually scared me. Demitri’s words about how I looked like Nicole replayed in my mind. Asking Elliot about her hadn’t gone over too well, either. I didn’t move as he walked out of my hotel room.

  Like a thief, he’d come in, got what he wanted, and then he’d left. There h
ad been so much intensity in the way he sexed me. I didn’t know what had gotten into him. Whatever it was, he had made sure to put it into me. Don’t get me wrong. Anytime Elliot and I were together sexually, it was a spiritual experience, but this time had been different. There had been no condom between us. The sensation of him being inside me that way had driven me mad, same as it had done months earlier. I knew I’d said I didn’t want kids, wouldn’t have them with Elliot, but our actions earlier contradicted those statements.

  Then memories came back from the night before. Demitri and I had gone to a place of no return. His mouth had been on me. His hands. By God, that man could probably find gold in the dark, and he had. Two men had been inside of me in less that twenty-four hours. I was probably the biggest, most satisfied whore in Atlanta.

  For a brief moment, I had become the side lover to the lover of the man to whom I was a side lover. Yes, it was just as crazy as it sounded.

  I got up and washed away the evidence of Elliot’s lovemaking. Once done, I sat at the computer. Answered e-mails from my agent. She needed me to call her, so I did.

  “Mona Mae, how is it going in Atlanta?” she quipped once she answered the phone.

  “It’s going. It’s going,” I said, then laughed.

  “Please tell me that means you’re writing.”

  “It does. I’m doing well. Wrote a good ten thousand words this morning, so it’s coming along.”

  “Oh, thank God,” she said, then sounded as if she breathed a sigh of relief. “They wanted me to send a progress report. So, do you mind sending me your first five chapters?”

  I frowned and rolled my eyes. “I haven’t even read over it yet. This is my first draft.”

  “I know. I know, Mona, but you’re one of the top dogs now. The publishing house needs to know they’re getting what they paid you that hefty six-figure advance for,” she said.