Nothing Else Matters

by Leslie DuBois

  That seventh grade dance was the last time Reyna and I tried something more than friendship. She wouldn’t talk to me at school the next morning. But by lunch she had forgiven me and we moved on. She was always such a forgiving person. I didn’t want to tell her the real reason why I didn’t show up. I was already embarrassed over my mother’s behavior. Instead, I just told her that I got caught up watching a game and lost track of time. I didn’t know why it took massive amounts of medication to make that memory surface. I finally realized that had it not been for my mother, Reyna and I could have been together years ago.

  My mother had been adversely affecting my life for too long. I still couldn’t believe that she asked the doctor about harvesting my sperm. I couldn’t be under her thumb any more. I had to get away from her.

  “I have every right to be here. I love him,” I heard Reyna say. Emotion dripped from the words as if they were pouring from a source deep inside her. Oh my God. She loved me. She had finally said it. She really loved me. This is what I had been looking for my whole life. I was immobile in a hospital bed, but she still loved me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout that I loved her too. I wanted to leap from the bed and hold her in my arms, but I couldn’t so any of that. I couldn’t even open my eyes.

  “Look, I appreciate what you did for him on the field and all, but you can’t go getting ideas in your head.” My mother sounded patronizing and condescending, a step up from her usual ignorance and anger. “You and Scott have no future together.”

  “Why don’t you let Scott decide that?” I heard Stu chime in. I was happy he was standing up to Sam in Reyna’s defense.

  “I’m not talking to you, Stuart,” she said with a touch of anger surfacing.

  “Oh, of course not. You never talk to me. There’s no place for me in your pathetic existence. And you know what? I prefer it that way. When I need or want your attention I’ll just go pick up a barbell and do some chest curls.” Stu stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

  “You are one piece of work, Lady. His brother, your son, is lying unconscious in a hospital bed, but instead of being there for him and comforting him, you’re lashing out at anything that threatens your position in Scott’s life.” Reyna started cursing in Spanish. She always thought bad words didn’t count as long as you said them in another language.

  “What are you saying? Is that some sort of curse? That’s it. I want you out of here!”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Sam. So get used to it!”

  Then I heard shoes scuffling and furniture moving. Were they actually fighting?

  “Let go of me, puta loca!”

  “What is going on here?” a male voice said upon entering the room.

  I drifted into blackness again.

  Chapter 26

  Monday Nov. 10

  Two days later, Scott still hadn’t woken up. Saturday morning, he went into surgery to resect the pulmonary bleb that caused the pneumothorax. It was a thoracoscopic surgical procedure that took three hours. Reyna had spent all night reading case studies trying to learn anything she could about it. She wanted to know what to expect. If the surgery went well, she wanted to be able to assist in his recovery. If it didn’t go well … She didn’t want to think about that.

  Dr. Schaeffer had been extremely helpful and understanding. He actually was the one to provide her with the case studies realizing that she would never get any sleep anyway. He also offered to write her a recommendation for whenever she applied to medical school. He was extremely impressed with what she was able to do with Scott and suggested that she work in his office each summer while she was in college.

  While Reyna appreciated Dr. Schaeffer’s attention, she didn’t want to think too heavily about the future. She needed to take it one day at a time to make it through this.

  They had removed Scott’s chest tube and he was breathing on his own, but he still hadn’t regained consciousness. The doctors didn’t know whether it was the combination of painkillers and anesthesia or whether he was slipping into a coma.

  Pacing the hallways of the hospital, Reyna threw out some more Spanish profanity at Sam for getting them both kicked out of Scott’s room. Now, neither one of them was allowed to enter until he asked for them specifically. Besides vicious stares and stinging silence, she and Sam had no interaction for the past two days.

  Reyna longed to go back in Scott’s room. She missed his face. She missed watching his broad chest rise and fall. She liked to think that he was getting well-needed rest. Rest that he didn’t allow himself to enjoy on a daily basis mostly because of his tyrannical mother.

  Reyna still couldn’t believe that a forty-year-old woman would actually grab her son’s eighteen-year-old girlfriend by the hair and try to drag her out of the room. She felt as though she had walked onto an episode of Jerry Springer.

  She thought about calling her father again to pass the time, but it was four o’clock in the morning and he was probably asleep. Everyone was asleep. Even Sam had passed out in an armchair right next to a calendar she had been writing in furiously for the past two days.

  Reyna inched over to where Sam’s blond head drooped over the edge of the chair and scooped the calendar off of the floor. Anger seized her as she flipped through the pages and read Sam’s notes. Sam had planned out a meticulous day-by-day recovery schedule for Scott, complete with dietary plan, workout schedule, and meetings with agents and scouts to prove that he was still in good enough condition to be recruited. It would have been one thing if this was done in Scott’s best interest. If it was a loving mother wanting to make sure that her son got healthy. But that wasn’t the case. Sam Kincaid just wanted to make sure her prized possession didn’t lose value. That woman treated her son like a thoroughbred racing horse.

  Three more hours of pacing and no change. She was going insane. She sat on a chair across from Sam and pressed her eyes shut with her fingers. As she massaged her temples she heard Sam stir. I can’t deal with this woman anymore, she thought. She looked at her watch and realized school was just starting. She needed a change of scenery. If she could pick up her schoolbooks and get some work done, maybe she would be distracted enough to make it through this waiting game. She looked down at her clothes and realized she was still wearing the same thing she left the game in Friday night. Since Charleston Prep was closer than her house she also thought it would be practical to grab a quick shower and a change of clothes at school.

  She grabbed her keys and dashed out of the hospital hoping to make it back before there was any change in Scott’s condition.

  The hospital was only about five minutes away from Charleston Prep, but Reyna still managed to call Stu three times to see if Scott had woken up.

  “Well, keep me updated okay? Let me know if anything changes.” After saying goodbye, she closed her phone, took a deep breath, and walked toward the Charleston Prep main entrance.

  She gave herself a little pep talk saying that she was going to be strong. Breaking down and crying would just make everyone else sad and uncomfortable. She had to put on a brave face. But when she pushed through the door of the main entrance, that idea proved futile. She gasped as she brought her hand to her mouth. A new banner had been hung that made her chest tighten and tears stream forth. The banner read: Get well, Scottie. We love you. But it wasn’t the words that made her break down. It was the fact that whoever made the banner had included pictures of her and Scott. There was one from the class camping trip junior year where he had picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder while tickling her. There was one from the state baseball championship where Reyna sat on his shoulders holding the trophy above her head. But the one that touched her the most was a picture from sixth grade. Scott was teaching Reyna how to throw a slider out on the school’s baseball diamond. She remembered that day vividly. It was the same day of their first kiss.

  The gravity of the past three days fell upon her all at once. Reyna fell to her knees and cried into her hands. Immediately, two
students came to her aid and put their arms around her. Reyna cried because she missed her Scottie and suddenly realized that she didn’t know if she could live without him. But she also cried because, somehow, their love had united the school. Their interracial relationship had not only been accepted, but also celebrated with this special banner. At that moment, she couldn’t imagine the school erupting into another racially fueled parking lot brawl like the one they had experienced just days ago.

  Her throat ached from the uncontrollably crying. “Who did this?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.

  Amber stepped through the crowd of students that had surrounded Reyna and said, “It’s a gift from Derek and me,” before hugging her. While embracing Amber, she looked over and saw Derek standing alone off to the side. She motioned for him to come over and join.

  As they enjoyed the group hug, Derek said, “Amber and I have to meet with Principal Woods this morning. We’re probably going to get expelled for what we did.”

  Reyna’s heart swelled. She gasped and tried to hold in another onslaught of tears. She knew Derek had been accepted to Penn State. An expulsion would mean his acceptance would be revoked. Though a few days ago she had called for the expulsion of the perpetrators, punishment didn’t matter anymore. Her Scottie was in pain and she couldn’t stand to see anyone else suffer in any way.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Rey,” Derek said. “There’s nothing you can do. It was my fault, my mistake. I deserve to pay the consequences.”

  Reyna made a mental note to talk to Principal Woods herself to see if she could help their situation. She had forgiven Amber and Derek and hoped that the student body would as well. She didn’t want any more pain to come from the incident. She didn’t want to ruin their future and their chances of getting into college over their bad judgment call.

  Though Reyna originally only planned to stay at school for a couple of hours, she ended up staying the entire day, collecting her work for the rest of the week. She couldn’t deal with being away from Scott any more than necessary and wanted to do her schoolwork from the hospital waiting room.

  Amazingly, Reyna made it through the rest of the school day without another break down, but she was still completely drained by the time she returned to the hospital. She was tired of repeating the details of Scott’s condition to everyone that asked. It proved extremely difficult assuring her classmates that he would be okay when the truth was she wasn’t so sure.

  Chapter 27

  Tuesday Nov. 11, 2008

  Reyna’s decision to help Amber and Derek proved harder than she expected. The student body of Charleston Prep wanted blood. Not only did they want Amber and Derek expelled, they wanted them to be shunned from every private school in the state. No matter how many students Reyna talked to spreading her message of forgiveness, two more would follow behind her and spread the message of hate and retribution. People blamed Amber and Derek for Scott’s illness.

  Amber’s car had been vandalized and Derek’s football jersey was found burning in the locker room. Reyna didn’t like what was happening to her school. Fear for Scott’s life was being misdirected into anger. She missed the welcoming community Charleston Prep used to be when she and Scott were just friends. Reyna blamed herself in a way for the hideous transformation. Though the school population had now welcomed and embraced her interracial relationship with Scott, the students now manifested signs of exclusion and abhorrence toward two of its own. She didn’t want that for her school.

  After talking with Principal Woods on Monday afternoon, he arranged a school-wide assembly for Tuesday morning giving Reyna the chance to address the student body.

  “I love Scott Kincaid.” It was an odd way to start a speech, especially for Reyna. Her words were usually well thought out and planned, but at that moment, she just spoke from a place deep inside of her and let the words flow. And saying those four words out loud somehow lifted her spirits. She doubted if she had ever said something so personal and emotional to so many people before.

  As soon as she began speaking, a hush fell over the crowd. “It took me six years to realize it, but I do. I love him with all my heart.” She paused and stared at her hands for a moment. “But when I saw that banner, that angry, hate-filled banner I almost threw that away. I almost gave up on that love, on that special feeling that most people spend a lifetime searching for. But I wasn’t the only one that gave up. Each and every one of us forgot what we meant to each other. We became distrustful and suspicious. We punched, kicked and bruised people we have gone to school with and cared about all of our lives. And why? Basically, because a banner told us to.

  “It told us we were different. And it accomplished its purpose. It wasn’t even racially motivated, yet it still accomplished its purpose. It inspired feelings of hate, jealousy, suspicion, and rage and it divided us. It sent us back fifty years in the fight for equality and once again South Carolina made headlines for racism and intolerance. And when you think about it, it was all because Scott and I wanted to be together.”

  Reyna closed her eyes and shook her head. It all seemed so silly now. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath to quell the waves of emotion within her. Looking out on the sea of student faces in the auditorium, she realized there was one that wasn’t there. A lump developed in her throat. What would she do without him? She tried to shake off that thought. It wasn’t the time to think about things like that. She needed to concentrate on what to say to the student body.

  “Are we perfect here at Charleston Prep?” she continued. “By no means. Do we still have some insensitive thoughts that have been passed on to us from former generations? I’m sure we do. But I tell you, we are not what that banner represented. We are better than that. For a brief moment, we forgot what was really important to us and we trampled on the feelings of our closest companions.”

  The students in the audience gave each other guilty looks. Reyna felt as if she was really reaching them.

  “What we are, what we really are, was better portrayed by the new banner that Amber and Derek made yesterday to show their remorse. The one that showed how Scottie and I feel about each other and how we —” Reyna had to push back the urge to cry. With a shaky voice she continued, “and how we feel about you. All of you, including Amber and Derek.”

  She wanted to continue, but she couldn’t. She had nothing left. After four days of crying and waiting instead of eating and sleeping, her body was at its breaking point. It took all her remaining strength to leave the stage without fainting in front of everyone.

  Noticing her distress, Doc followed her backstage. She collapsed in his arms.

  Chapter 28

  Wednesday Nov. 12

  Reyna’s father tried to convince her to stay home and get some sleep, but she didn’t want to be any farther away from Scott than she needed to be. She wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway. Every time she closed her eyes she saw visions of death. So instead, she continued the staring match with Sam in the waiting room of the hospital. Only Stu was able to be in Scott’s room.

  Fortunately, Sam would often leave for hours at a time in order to jog over the Ravenel Bridge or lift some weights. Thus, Reyna was able to get a little bit of relief from Sam’s hate-filled glare. During these reprieves, Reyna would sneak into Scott’s room, hold his hand and brush her lips across his face hoping her love would be enough to save him.

  At three a.m., several nurses ran into Scott’s room. Immediately, Reyna jumped to her feet and followed them. Seconds later, a doctor flew past her into the room and ushered Stu out.

  “What’s going on? What happened?” Reyna asked him.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Sam asked, joining them at Scott’s door.

  Stu looked back and forth between Reyna and Sam with red swollen eyes and ghostly pale skin. He, too, hadn’t slept in days. The words seemed stuck in his throat. And after three attempts to make his voice work, he finally said, “Blood pressure … dropped … revive. They have to … r
evive … ” Reyna wrapped her arms around Stu. “He’s slipping away,” he cried into her shoulder.

  Reyna hoped Sam would step up and join the embrace. She thought it was about time Sam started acting like a mother and comforted her son. But instead, a look of pure fear befell her face as she said, “I can’t take this. I gotta go for a run,” before taking off for the exit.

  After what seemed like an eternity, Scott was finally stable again. His blood pressure had gotten so low that he almost coded and died. They changed some of his medications and hoped for the best.

  With Sam gone, Reyna joined Stu in Scott’s room. She pulled a chair close to his bed, held his hand, and rested her head next to his. “Please don’t leave me, Scottie,” she whispered into his ear.

  Reyna sat anxiously next to Scott’s bed for the rest of the night. She waited for the inevitable fight with Sam when she returned and complained that Reyna was in the room when she shouldn’t be. But as the hours ticked on, there was no sign of Sam. Usually her workouts lasted only two to three hours. Six hours after Scott’s close call, she still hadn’t returned.

  “Where do you think she is?” she asked Stu.

  “Maybe she called,” Stu said, patting down his pockets searching for his cell phone. He found it on the windowsill and went to check it. Once he did, his eyes expanded and his mouth flew open. He plopped into a chair, deflated. The last bit of energy had been drained out of him.