by Jaye Diane
“I try to be.” She coughed, her dry throat stinging.
“Let me get you some water.” He hurried out of the room before she could reply and she closed her eyes.
She still couldn’t believe that the whole thing was over. Casey had been arrested. Her life could now go back to normal.
Her father suddenly opened his eyes and he abruptly sat up in his chair.
“Emerald, how ya doing?” He leaned forward, staring closely at her as he put his elbows on his knees.
“I’m good,” She lied, “I can’t wait to get out of here.”
“They’re keeping you for the night.”
She sighed. She wanted her own bed. Better yet, she wanted Lincoln’s bed even as she knew she’d better go home. It had been less than a week but she didn’t miss her little apartment at all. She wondered how soon Lincoln might expect her to go back to her own place.
He walked back in carrying a pink plastic pitcher in one hand and a matching cup in the other. As he poured some of the ice water into the cup, Emerald searched for a way to raise her bed. She ran her hand back and forth on the side of the bed, feeling for buttons.
“What’s the matter?” Her father asked.
“I’m trying to lift the bed.”
“There it is,” Lincoln pointed at an area she couldn’t see and her father pressed the buttons for her.
The bed slowly went up until she was almost completely upright. She took in several shallow breaths, surprised by the increased pressure in her chest.
“Em, are you okay?” Lincoln asked, on her left side. Her father looked worried on her right side.
She closed her eyes, counting in her head as she tried to get her breathing under control.
“Nurse!” Shawn yelled, his voice fading.
She opened her eyes in time to see him run out of the room.
“Damn,” She said. Her father didn’t do well when anyone was vulnerable, especially her. He was probably traumatized.
“I’m okay,” She said in a low voice, seeing Lincoln staring at her warily.
“Here,” Lincoln said in a soothing voice. “Drink some water.”
She took the cup and sipped, hoping that she appeared calm when she actually was unnerved by how battered her body actually was. Her adrenaline had kept her from feeling the severity of her injuries but now, she felt every cut and bruise. Her body throbbed all over.
Her father rushed back into the room as she took another sip, followed by a young Asian nurse, and Emerald braced herself for annoying and probing questions. It was odd to see her father concerned. First Christmas and now this. It wasn’t something she could ever get used to from Shawn or anyone. The sooner she got back to her own apartment, the sooner she and everyone else could go back to behaving normally.
The nurse gave her some medicine for pain and asked a few questions before leaving. After she left, Emerald munched on ice chips, wishing she had a big juicy burger and fries. She was starved.
“I need food,” Emerald said, passing the cup to Lincoln.
“I’ll order you something,” Lincoln said quickly. “What do you want?”
“You can’t get delivery at a hospital.” She wanted to laugh but she didn’t dare.
“If you can pay the price, you can get delivery anywhere.” Lincoln already had his phone out. “So what do you want?”
Shawn raised his eyebrows, looking impressed.
“A double cheeseburger,” Emerald said quickly, her stomach growling. “And fries.”
“Do you want anything sir?” Lincoln asked her father.
She smiled, thinking that Lincoln was so cute to call her father sir.
“No thanks,” Shawn replied. “And call me Shawn, please.”
“Okay, Shawn.” Lincoln smiled brightly. “I’m going to call this Italian place that’s not far from my house. The food is great.”
Since he’d ordered from that restaurant before, she knew how good the food was. Her stomach growled again but luckily they couldn’t hear it. She hadn’t eaten in more than twenty-four hours. Unfortunately, that had happened a lot when she was a kid and she’d gotten used to it at one point. But she hadn’t dealt with that in years. She felt weak and she was sure that most of it was from hunger.
Lincoln dialed, quickly ordering a ton of food, before hanging up.
“Do you want me to go downstairs and get you something to tide you over until the food comes?” He asked.
“No, I can wait,” Emerald said, closing her eyes again.
“Are you sure?” Lincoln asked, gently. “It wouldn’t be a problem.”
“I’m sure.” She’d already waited this long for food. She could wait a little longer. She was surprised the hospital hadn’t brought her a meal. Seeing the clock on the wall, she saw that she’d probably still been down in the emergency room when dinner was being served.
“I’m gonna get going,” Shawn said, reaching for his coat on the back of the chair. “Do you want me to come pick you up tomorrow when they discharge you?”
“No,” Emerald and Lincoln said simultaneously.
“I’m going to bring her back home with me, Shawn,” Lincoln went on. “She’s been staying with me all week.”
“What?” Shawn asked, looking back and forth from Emerald to Lincoln. “You moved in with him and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t move in,” Emerald said, wanting to roll her eyes at them both. “I needed somewhere to stay and you had company. Remember I asked you…”
“Huh,” Was all her father said.
“Anyway,” Emerald went on, refusing to look at Lincoln. “I’m going to go back to my own place. Lincoln can give me a ride. My stuff’s at his house.”
“You can stay with me,” Lincoln protested. “There’s no reason to go back to your apartment yet.”
“The threat is gone,” Emerald reminded him. “I can go back home now.”
“You’re injured. You need to be taken care of.”
“I can take care of myself.” When she’d realized how much she loved him, all she’d wanted was a chance to see him and tell him how she felt. Now that the danger had passed she realized that for the sake of self-preservation, she’d better not make any confessions anytime soon.
“Like hell,” Lincoln said flatly.
Shawn burst out laughing and his laughter went on and on for several seconds.
Obviously confused, Lincoln watched Shawn before staring Emerald down.
“This isn’t up for discussion, Em. How do you think I’d feel knowing that you’re home alone while being hurt like this?”
Shawn laughed even harder, holding his sides. Emerald didn’t know what was so funny and this time she did roll her eyes.
“I’m not that hurt.”
“Bullshit.”
“I like you, boy,” Shawn managed to say, still overcome with laughter. “I like you a lot. I’ll get some sleep now, knowing my baby girl’s got you.”
She was sure that her father hadn’t ever lost any sleep worrying about her but she bit her tongue. He was trying to change and she had let go of her hurt and disappointment towards him a long time ago.
“Thanks,” Lincoln said, looking uncertain.
Shawn bent over and kissed her cheek. Once he stood up, he shook Lincoln’s hand. After saying a quick goodnight, he walked out of the room.
“Where’s Robyn?” Emerald asked, just wanting to change the subject. She knew that Robyn and Grace were most likely at home. It had been a long day for everyone involved.
“Robyn had a migraine,” Lincoln replied. “She didn’t want to leave but it got really bad.”
Robyn suffered from horrible migraines sometimes. Emerald felt some regret knowing that Robyn’s worrying over her had probably brought the migraine on.
“I hope she feels better.” Emerald said, staring down at her bruised hands.
“I was texting with Devin before you woke up. He said she had gone to sleep.”
Emerald nodded. “And where
’s Grace?”
“Probably on her way back up now that your dad left,” Lincoln said. “Almost everyone took a turn coming in to see you. After they left, Grace stayed downstairs so that your father could have some time with you.”
“That was nice of her,” Emerald said, looking up at Lincoln.
“Yeah,” He agreed. “So about you going to your apartment…”
“Lincoln, let’s not talk about that right now.”
“If you’re getting out of here tomorrow we have to talk about it right now.”
“Fine.” She nodded once. “I think it would be best if I go back to my own apartment.”
“Why?”
“Because.” How could she tell him she was afraid to be weak and afraid to need him?
“That’s not an answer.” He was calm but there was an edge to his voice.
“I like my independence.”
“I know you do. But you’re not well. Stop fighting me on this.”
“But-”
“Emerald!” He shocked her by yelling. “What kind of asshole do you think I am?”
“I don’t…” She said, feeling unsure. She could see that he was angry. She hated when he asked her questions like that.
“Every time I try to get close to you, you try to shut me out.”
His words rendered her speechless.
“When are you going to open your eyes, Emerald?” He demanded, walking away from her. He picked up his coat, keeping his back to her. “When are you going to wake up and let us in? When are you going to let me in? Do you really want to end up alone?”
“N-no,” She said, her heart pounding painfully in her wounded chest. “I just…I don’t need to be rescued. I can take care of myself.”
He nodded, his back still turned, but he didn’t speak again. He walked out of the door as Grace walked in.
She instantly wanted to cry and if she was alone she would have. But she put on a brave face for Grace, something she was very good at it doing. Since she was a small child looking for love she’d learned to put on that face, that mask. Now that it was time to throw the mask away she didn’t know if she could.
Robyn arrived the following day to pick her up. She’d been expecting Lincoln to pick her up after all the fuss he’d made the night before about her going to his house. Robyn’s blue Rav4 sat right outside the hospital’s main entrance. Emerald felt embarrassed to have the nurse push her all the way to the car in a wheelchair.
Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t hide how uncomfortable it was, or how much she struggled, to get out of the chair. She sat down in the passenger seat of the car, focusing on controlling her breathing, barely listening to the last instructions the nurse gave her.
Robyn got into the car and turned to Emerald.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Emerald managed to say, “Please drive. I never want to see a hospital again.”
Robyn smiled and started the car. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Robyn spoke again.
“Aren’t you going to ask about Linc?”
“No.” But she was consumed by curiosity. She just could not admit it.
“He must have been really upset,” Robyn said casually. “Devin went to his house late last night and didn’t come back until early this morning.”
Lips quivering, Emerald turned her head and looked out of the window. It was beginning to snow, flurries falling quickly to the ground.
“Did you two have an argument?” Robyn asked straight out.
“Kind of.”
“I thought so. But I didn’t ask Devin for any details. He told me a little while ago to come pick you up. We’d assumed you were going home with Linc.”
“No, I’m going to my house.” She didn’t even have clothes at her house. Oh well, she was sure Robyn wouldn’t mind going to pick them up for her.
“I know that now,” Robyn’s remark was tinged with only a little sarcasm.
Emerald hoped that she and Lincoln could still be friends. The thought of never seeing him again made tears come to her eyes. But he’d been so pissed off when he left her hospital room that she felt like she might never see him again. He’d called Grace to come downstairs for the food he’d ordered and she hadn’t heard anything about him since.
She didn’t have her phone anyway. She didn’t know what Casey had done with it.
When they reached her street, Emerald’s heart sank. She wanted her independence and freedom but at what price? She wanted Lincoln in her life but on her terms.
Robyn let Emerald out of the car in front of the building so she could go find parking. Emerald entered the building and cautiously began climbing the stairs. She decided to get a head start since she lived all the way up on the fourth floor.
Each slow step that she took up the stairs made her frustrated, annoyed and hot. She’d almost made it up the first flight of steps when Robyn joined her.
“That elevator has worked a total of eight days all last year,” Robyn quipped. “Let’s see if 2016 is any better.”
“It’s worked more than that,” Emerald said, shaking her head and smiling. She stopped to get her breath, her chest feeling like it would crack. She closed her eyes as she inhaled. She felt sweat trickle down her back and she felt sticky.
“Devin already brought your things from Linc’s house. Your purse and keys were over there.”
Emerald nodded and started going up the stairs again. She was thankful that her friends had taken care of that for her. Left up to her, she’d have gotten all the way to her apartment with no keys.
“Devin said that there were a few notes from Casey under your door,” Robyn said bitterly. “Apparently Tasha and Lacey didn’t find out you weren’t staying at your place until a couple days ago. And they saw you leave with Devin so they thought you were staying with us and told the bitch.”
“I can’t believe I was so stupid,” Emerald said as she took her time going up the stairs. “I forgot I met those dummies the day I got Casey fired. They complained about Casey then. It was all a front. When I got her fired, they’d seemed happy she would be gone.”
“It’s not your fault. Casey fooled all of us and so did they.”
“I wish I knew why they did it.”
“Probably just trying to be loyal to her. They worked with her for years.”
Emerald actually felt a little bad for Lacey and Tasha if they were that stupid and blindly loyal. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t relish a chance to beat the shit out of either of the women. She’d love a chance to confront them both.
When she and Robyn finally got up to her apartment, Emerald’s entire body was covered with a fine sheen of sweat. They entered the studio apartment and it was only slightly dusty after not being lived in for a week. She was amazed that her car had been destroyed just a week ago. So much had happened in that small amount of time.
“I need a shower,” Emerald said, sinking down onto the couch.
Robyn searched through Emerald’s bag until she found a nightgown then helped Emerald undress for a shower. They’d seen each other in various stages of undress over the years and it had never been a big deal. But in her weakened state, Emerald felt incredibly embarrassed.
“Oh, Emmy!” Robyn exclaimed. “You’re bruised all over.”
Emerald felt the bruises. She definitely didn’t need to see them.
“I know,” She said, catching the look of horror on Robyn’s face. “She’s lucky she had me tied up.”
“And stitches…what happened here, Emmy?” Robyn pointed at Emerald’s leg.
“She stabbed me,” Emerald confessed. She hurriedly added, “It’s not as bad as it looks!”
But Robyn had gotten very pale and her chin wobbled.
“Please don’t,” Emerald whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m already a mess as it is.”
Robyn nodded furiously, scrubbing at her face.
“That evil bitch,” She muttered. “She’s going to get hers.�
�
“Yes!” Emerald agreed heartily, relieved to move away from the sadness.
She kept her injured leg out of the tub since she couldn’t get her stitches wet. Robyn helped her wash as best as she could then helped her dress in the nightgown.
Finally settled on the couch, Emerald leaned back while Robyn made grilled cheese sandwiches for them.
They ate quietly at first and Emerald used the remote to turn on the television.
“You aren’t going to tell me about Linc?” Robyn asked, sounding exasperated.
Confused, Emerald raised her eyebrows. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Of course there is.” Robyn took a big bite of her sandwich. “It’s time to fess up.”
“I care about him,” Emerald said slowly, her heart thumping harshly in her chest.
“Does he know that?”
“Yeah,” Emerald nodded in slow motion. “I actually told him the other day.”
“Wow!”
“Yeah,” Emerald agreed with Robyn’s exclamation. Only Robyn would understand how big that admission had been for Emerald. “But I don’t think that’s enough. I don’t think we can be together anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” Robyn asked. “You two make a great couple.”
Before Emerald could reply, there was a knock at the door. Emerald’s heart seemed to pound even harder as Robyn went to the door and looked through the peep hole. When Robyn let Grace into the apartment, Emerald felt a sting of disappointment.
She hid it behind a smile for her friend. Grace kissed her on the cheek before taking off her coat.
“I’m so sorry I overslept!” Grace said to Robyn. “I feel bad I didn’t meet up with you before you went to the hospital.”
“It’s okay.”
“How are you feeling today?” Grace asked Emerald, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, looking pretty in a pink blouse and jeans.
“The same as yesterday. All beat up.” Emerald finished the last bite of sandwich. “Thank you for spending so much time with me last night.”
“Of course,” Grace waved a hand dismissively. She’d only gone home after the nurses had ordered her out way past visiting hours.
“I appreciate it,” Emerald felt compelled to say. She didn’t know why but it was important that they both know how much they meant to her. “Thank you both for everything you’ve done.”