Catching the Player (Hamilton Family)

by Diane Alberts

  For some reason, that just pissed him off even more. She fidgeted with her glasses, something else she always did when she was upset or nervous. He knew that about her now.

  He knew lots of things about her.

  Closing his eyes, he cursed under his breath. Images played out in his mind. Standing on a field, the crowd cheering for him. At home as a kid, sitting on his father’s lap in his library as he read a book to him. His mother hugging him tightly, singing a song to him and not letting go as her perfume washed over him. And last, but not least, Kassidy and him in the shower, discussing whether or not they still needed to use a condom.

  Clearly, the answer was yes.

  Also clearly, they’d messed up when they opted not to.

  The question was…

  What happened next?

  “Say it,” he rasped. “Say the words.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she wrapped her arms around herself. Her lower lip trembled, and she stared at the floor as she said the words he swore he would never hear spoken to him.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Okay, he wasn’t happy.

  She didn’t expect him to be.

  Heck, she wasn’t exactly happy, either. This wasn’t her plan. This wasn’t what she’d meant when she said she wanted to try new things, and live. She wasn’t sure she even liked kids, let alone wanted them. But she’d had a few more hours than he had to come to terms with the fact that, despite her plans and uncertainty, this was a very real reality for her.

  Maybe for him, too.

  Though, judging from the fact that he had literally just told reporters he had never wanted children and never would, and the fact that he was about to break out in hives at the mere idea of his impending fatherhood, she didn’t think he was going to step into the role so easily…

  If at all.

  “How did this happen?” he rasped, dragging a hand down his face.

  “Well, when a man and a woman like one another, and they have—”

  He scowled. “Kassidy.”

  Okay, okay. Humor wasn’t the right way to go about this, apparently. Fair enough. “I don’t know. I’ve been taking my pill, and I didn’t miss any.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She crossed her arms, trembling with nerves that made her want to throw up again but trying to ignore them so she didn’t mess everything up. “Of course, I’m sure.”

  He frowned at her, saying nothing.

  “Do you honestly think I would lie to you about that? To, what, trap you into something?” she asked. Her chest ached as if he’d stabbed into it with a jagged knife.

  Maybe that would have hurt less.

  “I don’t know,” he snapped. “I don’t know anything right now.”

  Ouch. Her heart twisted painfully in his fist. Despite his shock, she never would have thought he’d believe she would trap him into something like that. “I get that you’re upset, but I’d never—”

  “Upset doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what’s going on in my head right now.” He paced in front of her, nibbling on his thumbnail. He bit his nails? “You just found out about this, right?”

  “Y-Yes,” she said slowly. “I bought the test last night on my way home from work and took it this morning after you got in the shower upstairs. I was planning on telling you when we got back to the house just now, but—”

  “Shit.” He continued pacing. “This can’t be happening to me.”

  “Well, to be fair, it’s happening to me, too.”

  He said nothing, just paced, every motion dripping with his frustration.

  Swallowing hard, she tried to speak again through the massive lump throbbing in her throat, choking her, cutting off her air supply. The room spun around them, blurring shapes together until nothing was recognizable except the pain racking her chest.

  She’d planned a speech out in her head. Laid it all out perfectly.

  But now that the time had come, the words she’d so carefully constructed in her mind were choking her, and she couldn’t speak. “Like I was saying, you’re upset, but I’m not asking for you to do anything.”

  He laughed. Short. Hard. “Are you serious—?”

  “I stand by what I said,” she interrupted, her heart beating so fast she swore it would take flight soon. “I will never ask you for more than you’re willing to give me.”

  His nostrils flared. “If you’re implying what I think…I’m not a deadbeat dad.”

  “I never said you were.” She held her hands out in a silent plea. “And I’m certainly not trying to trap you in my life. I’m just saying you don’t have to help me with handling this situation at all if you don’t want to. If you want to walk away and act like you never heard the words I just said, you can do so, guilt free.”

  “Situation. Wait, so you want an…?” He hit the end of his invisible path and turned back, his face torn. “We’ll have to take care of this ASAP. Before anyone follows us or finds out.”

  She cleared her throat, confused at his words. “No one will find out if you don’t want them to. What you do, or do not do, is entirely up to you. I’m not asking you for anything.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, stopping in front of her. “No matter what you choose, I’m here for you. I was just…it took me a second to get there with you, and to see what you were thinking.”

  Relief fluttered inside her. “Really?”

  “Absolutely.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, his eyes sad. “If that’s what you want to do, then I’ll take you to the clinic, somewhere private that the media won’t find, and hold your hand—”

  “Clinic?” She dropped her hands, her stomach sinking. “I’m not…no.”

  He held his hands where they’d been moments before, entwined with hers, but now empty. “Wait. What? But you said you didn’t need help with the situation, and that I can walk away.”

  “Yeah. You can walk away. But I’m not going to a clinic, and I’m not—” She pressed a hand protectively over her stomach as if that alone would keep the child she’d never even wanted or thought about having safe from the world. “I’m keeping this baby.”

  “Why would you do that?” he said, staring at her as if she lost her mind. “And why would you tell me I could walk away if you’re planning on keeping it?”

  Maybe she had lost her mind. “Because you can.”

  “Is that seriously what you think of me?” he asked, so quietly it hurt.

  She hesitated. “I…”

  Something closed off in his expression, and any hint of emotion he’d been showing faded into cold, hard anger. “You’re right, of course. We aren’t even a real couple,” he said, his voice hard. “We were just fucking around.”

  She said nothing.

  She couldn’t. It hurt too much.

  “And since we were just fucking around, I can just…what? Walk away from you and the child we created and never think twice about it, or you, ever again? Like we were nothing, right?”

  She nodded once, pain blinding her. Stabbing her. “If that’s what you want.”

  “If that’s what I—” He cut himself off, his whole body vibrating with anger. “You’re actually keeping this baby. For real.”

  She nodded again.

  “Guess it isn’t just about the fun sex anymore. So much for not asking me for more than I was willing to give, huh?”

  Wow.

  The way he said it, like they’d meant nothing, was that what he really thought of their time together?

  He hesitated. “I mean—”

  “You meant exactly what you said.” She hugged herself, backing up a step. She needed the distance between them, to be honest. He’d put that initial wedge between them, and it was up to her to keep it there since he’d made his position on her news pretty clear.

  Dragging his hands down his face, he didn’t bother to argue with her. “I never wanted to be a father.”

  She swallowed hard, her th
roat unable to swell anymore without her breaking out into sobs. “Then don’t be one. No one is making you.”

  “No one is—?” He took a step toward her, trembling with rage, his face red, nostrils flared, but pulled himself up short. “Do you actually think I’d walk away, and act like you weren’t having my child? Leave you alone, without support?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore,” she shot back at him, using his own words against him.

  He laughed. Actually laughed. “Unbelievable.”

  She didn’t say anything.

  There was nothing to say.

  “This isn’t happening. I’ve been so safe throughout my whole career. So careful to avoid this.” He gestured at her stomach and then started pacing again, talking to himself more so than her. “And now, when I make one exception, in the blink of an eye, everything changes.”

  It was clear he was in panic mode, so she tried not to let his words bother her…but they did.

  “I’ve seen this happen to so many guys,” he muttered, shaking his head. “They swore they were safe. Swore there was no way they could have gotten their girl pregnant…and now I’m one of them. Trying to figure out how the hell—” He turned back to her, his eyes narrow. “Are you sure you took your pill every day?”

  How could you be treating me like this? Biting her tongue to keep the words back until it hurt almost as much as her heart, she hugged herself. “Yes. This was an accident, a twist of fate. Nothing more. It happens. This happens.”

  “It’s just…” He faded off, not meeting her eyes.

  “What? You can tell me anything,” she said, echoing his words from earlier.

  She was trying not to get angry, to be understanding, but it was really hard.

  “Is it definitely mine?” he asked, his voice so low she almost missed it.

  She recoiled. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m asking…” He locked eyes with her. “I’ve seen you with other men and even told you to go out and find someone else who could give you everything you wanted. I watched you flirt with other dudes, and we didn’t even talk about being exclusive until two weeks ago.”

  Tears blurred her vision because he actually… “Wyatt, don’t—”

  “Have you had sex with anyone else since the first night we spent together?” he asked, his voice harder than she’d ever heard it.

  “No,” she bit out, clenching her teeth as anger overtook the pain inside her. “It’s only you. It’s only ever been you. Why are you asking me this?”

  “Are you sure?” he asked again, his tone harder than before.

  This was it. This was fully giving yourself to someone, only to have them turn around and crush you. She’d forgotten how painful that was, but now she remembered it all too well. This was why she’d become a hermit and closed herself off to the world. Because of this.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I think I would remember having sex with another man besides you, don’t you? Unless you think you’re that interchangeable that I wouldn’t notice?” she snapped, clutching the anger that washed over her because it was a heck of a lot safer than the pain still lurking beneath its surface, waiting to take over again.

  He rubbed his jaw, not meeting her eyes. “It’s just, lots of guys on my team got pegged as the father of someone’s baby, and after years of paying child support, they find out it was all a lie to get money—”

  “Are you accusing me of getting pregnant for money?” she spat, anger surging through her and chasing away the pain. Good. Anger was safer. More familiar.

  “No. I’m just saying—”

  She laughed, trembling for another reason now. “Get out.”

  “Kass—” he started, worry creasing his forehead.

  “No.” She walked to the front door and opened it. “Leave. Now.”

  He didn’t move. “It’s a reasonable question to ask you.”

  “You’re right—if I were asking for monetary support, it would be a reasonable question to ask. It would also be a reasonable request of a girl you don’t know like you do me.” She tightened her grip on the knob. “But I’m not asking for money, and you do know me.”

  “Do I?” he asked, flexing his jaw. “It’s only been a month.”

  “You’re right.” She lifted her chin, fighting back the urge to cry. She refused to succumb to tears in front of him. He’d probably just think she was trying to manipulate him into staying. Apparently, when push came to shove, he thought she was that type of girl. “Come to think of it, maybe you don’t know me at all. And I don’t know you. Please leave.”

  He shook his head. “No. We’re not done here.”

  “Oh, we’re done.”

  He continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “I’m just saying, realistically, it’s not like we’re married, or even a long-term couple, like most expectant parents. This isn’t an ideal situation to bring a baby into.”

  Again. It hurt. His callous rejection of what they were.

  But, really, had she expected anything less?

  He’d been clear, all along, that he was a loner. She’d accepted that. That wouldn’t change now. If he cooled off and realized later on that he wanted to be in his child’s life, then so be it. But if he didn’t, then that was okay, too.

  Either way, she’d be fine.

  Or so she kept telling herself.

  “Ah, but I had a feeling you wouldn’t want to stick around after I told you about the baby, so I guess I paid more attention than you, huh?” she said sadly, gripping the door as hard as she could. It was the only thing keeping her upright.

  He came closer, stopping a few feet short of her. Just a few minutes ago, he wouldn’t have stopped until she was in his arms, and that difference was as painful as it was clear. He was already distancing himself from her. “Tell me the truth. Why do you want to keep this baby?”

  “Because it’s my baby.”

  “It’s my baby, too,” he said hoarsely.

  She lifted a shoulder. “If you want it to be.”

  “If you say that one more time…” He made an angry sound. “I never wanted kids—”

  “Then get out. Get out and don’t come back. Forget this ever happened. Forget me. I promise you’ll never hear from us again.” She gestured out the open door. “Despite what you threw at me earlier, I am still not asking you for anything you’re not willing to give me. No one is making you stay, or even asking you to. So go.”

  He didn’t move.

  She lifted her chin, barely holding herself together at this point. “Don’t make me ask you again.”

  “Don’t do this, Kass.”

  His voice cracked on her name. That shouldn’t have hit her as hard as it did, but it did. He reached out for her hand but stopped halfway, letting his arm fall back to his side. She choked on a sob, but she stubbornly held it back. He didn’t even want to touch her anymore. “I’m not doing anything. We had sex. We did this. I’m just the one accepting responsibility for it, and that’s fine, but don’t act like I’m the bad guy here. I’m not. Neither are you. We just want different things.”

  “We can’t do this. We’re not ready.”

  “You’re not.” She lifted her chin even more. “I am.”

  He made a broken sound. “I can…I can try to—”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I told you I wouldn’t ask you for more than you’re willing to give me, and I stand by it.”

  “Kass…”

  “Think about it. Really think about it. Do you want to be with me? Like, actually be with me? And this baby? Do you think we could be together forever? Can you give me promises you’ve never given anyone else? Can you be here for the rest of your life, at my side, loving me?”

  He stared at her like he’d seen a ghost.

  “That’s what I thought. And that’s okay. It’s okay that you don’t want that…but I do. I want more than you can offer me.” She lifted her chin. “Good-bye, Wyatt. Please leave.”

  Growling under his breath, he sta
lked past her. As he turned around, mouth open to speak, she shut the door in his face because if she didn’t, she’d lose it in front of him.

  And she refused to lose it in front of him.

  After locking the door, she stumbled to the steps and sat down, focusing blankly ahead. So. That settled it. She was doing this alone. That was fine. Everything was fine.

  She was…she was…

  Not fine.

  Covering her face, she sobbed into her hands, pain twisting her heart into shards and making it hard to breathe. She knew, deep down, that she would be okay, and that she was strong enough to make it through this alone, and she’d be a kick-ass mom. This kid would get so much love from her that he or she would never even notice the lack of a father in their life.

  There was no other option.

  All this time, he’d been very clear that he wasn’t sure he would be able to stick around, and she’d been okay with that. Even when he tried to warn her away, she’d refused to listen. Refused to back down when he told her he didn’t want to hurt her. She’d decided the risk of a broken heart was worth the reward of being in Wyatt’s arms.

  And it could have been.

  Why, then, was she crying on her stairs? It wasn’t just because she was alone and pregnant and scared. She was all those things, but this was more than that. It was like she’d lost something huge. Something that she would never, ever get over. Like a big giant piece of herself had walked away. It was at that moment that it hit her…a big, giant piece of her had walked away.

  Her heart.

  She’d been an idiot and fallen in love with him, despite the many times he’d told her not to. She’d fallen for him, head over heels, and he’d walked away without glancing back. Maybe he’d return and tell her he wanted to be a part of her child’s life. Maybe he wouldn’t. But either way, what they’d had was over. She loved him, and he didn’t love her. He never would.

  He’d broken her heart like he said he would…

  And she had only herself to blame.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Later that night, Wyatt glowered at the glass of whiskey in his hand, blinking at it, trying to clear his vision. It didn’t help. He still saw two glasses, when he knew for a fact he’d only gotten one. Unless Brett or Chris had given him more…