Henry's End

by Julie Richman

  “Well, hello,” she greeted Henry with a bright smile and a thick southern accent.

  Henry’s eyes shot back to Cody’s face. He was speechless. The Marine’s eyes were flat and narrowed, his clenched jaw twitching.

  “Daddy, Ashley won’t give me the purple crayon.”

  Cody ignored the child, his eyes transfixed on Henry.

  Looking back at the wife, “Hi,” Henry managed.

  “Cody, aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?” She was clearly intrigued as to why her Marine husband would be acquainted with this openly gay man.

  Henry needed to fill the awkward silence immediately. “I’m Henry,” he extended a hand to the woman. “My company works with the Marines and Cody’s unit,” was all he could think of quickly.

  “Well, I’m Shelby and these are our girls, Ashley and Chloe.”

  Our girls? Stunned, he didn’t immediately respond to her introduction of the children. He kept expecting her to say, “Bless your heart” with her thick southern drawl.

  Finally, “Well, I’ll let you get back to your dinner.”

  “You all look like you’re coming from a fun day on the beach,” Shelby observed.

  Looking at Cody and locking eyes with him, “No, actually we’re coming from a funeral. I lost a very close friend this week.”

  “Oh, I am so sorry for your loss.”

  Her husband had still not uttered a word.

  “Enjoy your meal. It was nice meeting you, Shelby.” He nodded at Cody.

  Numb. Shell shocked. Angry. Destroyed. Heartbroken.

  He sat down next to Edwin, glad the only available seat had him with his back to Cody and his family. Married. He was married. He had a wife. Two little girls. He was freaking married. He wasn’t his. He was married.

  “Friends of yours?” Edwin asked.

  Henry stared at him, blank-faced, sure his tattered heart was bleeding right through his surfer tee-shirt for all to see.

  “That’s Cody.”

  Edwin looked confused.

  “That’s Cody,” Henry hissed through clenched teeth. “With his wife and kids.”

  “Wife and kids?” Edwin merely mouthed the words.

  Nodding. “So while I’ve been worried about him for days, he’s been with his family that I knew nothing about.”

  Grabbing a glass of water off the table, Henry downed the whole thing.

  “He’s fucking married, Edwin. He’s a god-damn fucking straight guy. What the fuck has he been doing with me?” Henry searched Edwin’s face for answers.

  “I think you’ve had enough to deal with today. Let’s get you out of here. Stephen would understand.” Grabbing Henry by the hand, he pulled him out of his chair and quickly made their goodbyes to the other guests.

  As they negotiated their way through the tables, Henry stared straight forward, his eyes trained on the exit. Edwin, however, turned to get a good look at Cody.

  He was watching them leave.

  “Asshole,” Edwin mouthed, the anger on his face evident.

  The Marine tried not to react, but the muscles on both sides of his jaw were singing their own tune.

  What Edwin did not see, was Cody’s wife turn around and watch him and Henry leave after witnessing the look on her husband’s face.

  It took all the strength he had on Monday morning to call in sick. Rolling back over in bed, he prayed for sleep, needing to escape the searing pain that was wracking his body. How could a heart cause so much pain?

  Stephen and Cody.

  The loss was devastating. One compounding the other.

  Stephen and Cody.

  Both gone.

  The ringing of the phone made his skin burn. Edwin’s number was on the display again. It was his fourth call of the morning. This one he would answer.

  “Hi,” his voice sounded flat even to himself.

  “Oh thank God.” The worry was heavily laced with drama. “How are you?”

  “I suck.” Rolling onto his back, Henry flung an arm across his burning, swollen eyes.

  “No, he sucks. You are wonderful and handsome and smart. He is a Class A douche of the highest magnitude and you are lucky to be rid of his lying, deceiving ass.” Edwin was getting worked up.

  “Why would he do this to me, Edwin?”

  “Because he’s a narcissistic closet case who only thinks of himself. That selfish fuck wasn’t thinking about you or his prom queen wife or those two little children. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about other people.”

  “I really thought he cared,” Henry’s voice choked up.

  “I’m sure he did. In his own sick way. People like that don’t truly have emotions for others, at least not in the way that you and I do.”

  It was good to talk to Edwin. His years of experience helped put things in perspective, something Henry knew he currently didn’t have, and might never gain, on this subject.

  “Do you think I’ll hear from him?” Please say yes.

  “Of course you’ll hear from him. It might not be right away, because he’s going to want to make you pay. Make you suffer.”

  “Well, I am suffering, that’s for sure.” Henry got out of bed and opened the blinds, shocked to see the sky was blue. The sky is blue. How could that be? “But why would he make me want to pay? I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t lie to him. But I did lie for him with that cover-up story to his wife.” Henry shook his head, “Ugh, he has a fucking wife.”

  “Put some clothes on and meet me for a salad at the Crest Café.”

  “I can’t.” Henry’s throat closed, the lump threatening to choke him.

  “Why not?” Edwin wasn’t going to let up.

  “It was one of our places.” Squeezing his eyes shut, hot tears splashed onto his cheeks.

  Edwin sighed, “Ok, I’ll meet you in twenty minutes at the Hash House, where I will shove a fattening stuffed burger down your throat and have a Banana Latte waiting for you.” He hung up the phone before Henry could answer.

  Shuffling to his dresser, Henry pulled out a pair of sweats and grabbed a tee-shirt. Right under the shirt he chose was a black tee emblazoned MARINES that Cody had given him. Pulling it from the drawer, he brought it to his face, letting it softly embrace his stubble rough cheek.

  “Dickhead,” Henry scowled at the shirt, throwing it back into the drawer with a sneer, before heading out of his apartment.

  The Banana Latte was sitting on the table by the time Henry reached the Hash House a Go, where Edwin sat with large, sympathetic eyes.

  “You really ordered that thing?” He shook his head.

  Edwin sneered, “I thought a banana might do you good.”

  “How thoughtful,” Henry shot back with a mock sneer.

  “What a fucking weekend.” Edwin shook his head and picked up a menu.

  “What a fucking weekend is right,” Henry concurred. “At least we gave Stephen a great send-off. Surfer Girl was an inspired touch, by the way.” Henry smiled.

  Edwin’s shoulders swayed as he preened, “Wasn’t it though. A perfect goodbye for our little surfer girl.” Putting down his menu, “So, what are you going to do when he calls?”

  “Or shows up,” Henry said, looking over the top of his menu.

  “He has a key?” Edwin’s eyebrows were standing at attention.

  “Of course he has a key.”

  Putting the menu down, “Change your locks, sister.” Edwin was dead serious.

  “I don’t think he’d cause a problem.” Henry shrugged.

  “You also didn’t think he was married. The man is a liar. Who knows what else he has lied to you about? Think about it, he lies to everyone. He lies to his wife. He lies to his kids. He lied to you and he lies to himself. The guy is a psychopath, believe me. No one can lead that kind of a double life and be well balanced.”

  Henry sat listening, in silence. With each sentence, his heart grew heavier as Edwin pulled no punches in laying out the truth. Who was Cody? He really had no clue. A wife
and two little girls – that was quite a large package to hide. Did his wife have any inkling of her husband’s double life? Was he going back to base when he left Henry’s apartment or going home? Did his family live here or in Georgia? There was base housing for families. Did he go to their bed after spending the night wrapped around Henry?

  “So is he straight? Gay? Some combination of the two?” Henry looked to his older friend for answers, to help him make sense of the confusion.

  Palms in the air, Edwin gave an exaggerated shrug, “I’m not a psychiatrist and I don’t know the guy, but my guess is that he’s gay and can’t come out. Family, military, who knows what his pressures are? So he plays big tough Marine, married the prettiest girl in school and has crafted the perfect facade. Who would ever suspect that? He’s from Georgia, you said?”

  Henry nodded.

  “Military family?”

  He nodded again, “His father was in the Corps also.”

  “Ok, so what do we know? He grew up in the Bible belt, son of a Marine and you know, his father is from a completely different generation. Marines don’t have faggot sons. Especially when they are big, good-looking guys like Cody and the family is filled with bible thumpers.”

  “So, do you think all those comments during sex were some self-loathing thing?”

  Nodding, Edwin didn’t say a word. Both men sat in silence processing the pieces of the Cody puzzle until after the waiter took their order.

  “If he hates himself, can he truly love anyone else?” Henry mused, sipping the Banana Latte, which was actually quite good. Before Edwin had a chance to answer, Henry spat out the question that had been haunting him since the day before. “Do you think he hates me?”

  “I think he hates himself because he can’t be like you. You are everything he doesn’t have the guts to be and he hates that you have the balls to do it and he doesn’t.”

  Sitting back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling to stave off another round of tears, Henry wished with all his heart that he could turn back time, make yesterday disappear – for so many reasons. Ignorance was bliss, that’s for sure.

  He was finally happy and now he’d never see Cody’s Husky-blue eyes across his pillow again. They wouldn’t be sharing summer. That thought had occurred to him while walking to the Hash House and seeing spring poppies and day lilies in baskets lining the front of shops along the street. No Sunday BBQ’s while dancing at The Hole, no sunsets at the pier.

  It was all just gone. Like that. Gone.

  “Why am I so sad about all of this when he lied to me about everything?”

  Cocking his head to the side, Edwin looked sad for his young friend. “Because it wasn’t a lie for you. It was the real thing.”

  The click in his door lock caused a jolt in his heart. It was Thursday evening and he was sitting at the dining room table filling out call reports for work. Hearing the keys jiggling, he got up to go look through the peephole.

  The anger was evident in Cody’s jaw as he realized the locks had been changed and he no longer had access to Henry’s apartment.

  Unlocking the door from the inside, a door they’d stumbled through together so many times, hungry to be wrapped up in one another’s embrace, Henry swung it open and stood there, mere inches from the married Marine.

  “You changed the locks?” Cody was clearly pissed.

  The best defense is an offense, Henry thought. He’s going to throw this on me. He’s acting pissed at me for changing the locks on him? Is he fucking kidding?

  With arms crossed over his chest, Henry stood in the threshold, blocking Cody from entering. “What’d you tell Shelby? That you were going out for milk?”

  Shaking his head and using his bulk to push past him and enter the apartment, “Don’t be a bitch, Henry.” He stood with his back to him for a moment, before slowly turning around. “And no, I didn’t tell Shelby anything. She and the kids are back in Georgia where they live.”

  “Right,” was all Henry said, nostrils flaring. “I don’t remember inviting you in.”

  “I don’t remember needing an invite.”

  “I don’t remember you telling me you had a wife and kids.”

  “I don’t remember you asking.”

  “So what’s your deal, Cody? You straight? You gay? You some kind of closet case.”

  The Marine was on him so fast, he had no time to defend himself. Shoving him backward by both shoulders, Henry lost footing, knocking into the pointy corner of an end table with his thigh and sending a lamp careening to the floor with a cringe-worthy crash.

  He’s a Marine. He could kill me with his bare hands, was the thought that made Henry check his own anger, knowing he needed to diffuse the situation and not throw gasoline on the fire.

  “Is that what you came here for, Cody? To hurt me? Because you’ve already hurt me enough. You won. So you can go knowing ‘mission accomplished’, OK. Just go.”

  Running a hand over his short hair, the agitation evident in every tight muscle, Cody shook his head. “I didn’t come here to hurt you, Henry.”

  “Then why did you come?”

  As Henry rose from the floor, Cody extended a hand, which he ignored.

  “I thought we needed to talk.”

  Ya think? I’ve been dying for four days while there’s been radio silence from you. “I’m listening.” Henry winced as he rubbed the spot on his thigh that had been stabbed by the table corner.

  “Can we sit?” Cody gave a small smile, a tease of the lone dimple barely making an appearance, as he sat down on the couch.

  Henry crossed to an armchair and sat down.

  “C’mon Henry, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry about what just happened. Come sit here.”

  Sitting down next to him on the couch, Henry still kept his distance.

  Reaching out, Cody put a hand on Henry’s cheek. “I’ve missed you and I’m sorry about your friend and sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

  Henry longed to let his face rest in Cody’s big hand, but the past four days had been hell.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because it was never supposed to be this, we were never supposed to be this. It was supposed to be what it had always been for me, a fling. And by the time it wasn’t, I didn’t know how to go back and tell you without it totally blowing us up.”

  “Running into you was a sure way to blow things up.”

  “That was just one of those things. I never thought that was going to happen. We’ve been separated for over a year. She’s been living in Georgia, and both her parents and my parents were pushing to see if we could work it out. I didn’t know she and the girls were coming out until the last minute.”

  “Did you fuck her?”

  Cody remained silent, the muscles in his jaw telling Henry the full story minus a few choice details, like his brutal and humiliating assault on his wife’s ass, tears streaming down his face as he pounded into her as hard as he could, trying to convince himself it didn’t matter who he unleashed in, a tight ass was a tight ass.

  “It didn’t mean anything, Henry.”

  “Well, maybe it meant something to me.” As he verbalized it, Henry realized that he wanted so much more than Cody could give him living this double life. He wanted what he thought they had been building towards. He wanted that illusion to be reality. His reality. Their reality.

  The dimple appeared, “I’m glad it meant something to you.” Looking down at his hands, he shook his head, “I’m sorry that this went down the way it did and that you found out in a really shitty way, but I’m glad you know and that it’s not between us anymore.”

  Not between us? Is he kidding? “Does she know?”

  “She suspects.”

  Pulling her ass hard against his cock, he ground as deeply into her as he could, before pumping in his hot load without a condom. He was drunk and fucking her ass was the only way he could get hard with her, even wasted.

  When he was done, “Is that what you do to
your boyfriend,” she spat between clenched teeth.

  “At least he knows how to suck dick.”

  Her hand was across his face slapping him before his drunk reflexes could stop her. She went and slept with the girls that night and every night after until their departure.

  “So what is it you want from me, Cody?” Henry was confused.

  “Right now,” he smiled, “I would love for you to suck my cock.”

  “And then what?” Henry wanted to scream at him, you weren’t there for me when I needed you. You weren’t there for me. I want someone who is there for me. And you didn’t even tell her.

  “And then I’ll suck yours. Or maybe to show you how sorry I am, I’ll suck yours right now.” Grabbing Henry’s hand, he pulled him on top of his muscular body, finding his mouth for a kiss that was wrought with pain, longing and confusion. “I’ve missed your ass,” he whispered roughly.

  With hands on Henry’s rear, Cody pressed them together, lining up their erections so that their cocks touched through their clothing. Rubbing himself along Henry’s hardening cock, “You can’t tell me you didn’t miss this.” He undid Henry’s pants and started to pull them down.

  Henry pulled his head back to look at the big Marine, “Of course I missed it. I missed you. I missed us. But I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Do what?” Cody’s brows knit together.

  “Be your dirty little secret while someone else gets the dream.”

  Rolling his eyes, “Henry, I’m in the Marine Corps, losing a paycheck and pension isn’t an option and I’m not gay. Just because I like you to suck my cock doesn’t mean I’m gay.

  “You’re serious.” Henry’s mouth hung open.

  “Yeah, I’m serious. I’m not a fag.” Cody pushed Henry off him.

  “You’ve been fucking me for months. We’ve been in a relationship. What is it you think you are, Cody?”

  “Certainly not a god-damn fag,” he spat with disdain.

  “Yeah, whatever. You keep telling yourself that.” Henry shook his head. “I think you should leave now.”

  “I think that’s a good idea.” Cody stood and took a step toward the door, then turned back to Henry, “You’re throwing me out?” There was disbelief in his tone.