Kharmic Rebound

by Yeager, Aaron

  Ilrica shook her head. “No way, not until you’ve read them all as punishment for leaving me alone with Trahzi.”

  “I’m not reading any of them!”

  “Chains of the Heart, let’s try this one.” Ilrica fell upwards and landed on the ceiling, a window following her around as she paced. Through her crystronics, she was able to read at a blurring pace. “Ooh, I like this Gerald, I didn’t know you could dance.”

  “Stop that.”

  “...and so confident...”

  Gerald jumped up and took a feeble swipe at her. “I said knock it off.”

  Ilrica feigned surprise, “Oh my, Gerald, why would you do something like this to a lady?”

  Gerald grabbed a pillow and threw it at her. “Get down here!”

  “...but she sure seems to like it...”

  “Stop reading that. It’s embarrassing.”

  Ilrica pretended to be shocked. “Well, look at this! I didn’t know you could be so aggressive.”

  “You are a terrible person, do you know that?!”

  Ilrica rolled around on the ceiling, laughing hysterically.

  Trahzi placed her hand on her cheek. Her whole face was flushed. “I have a question. Is it possible to have these programs write a story with me as the heroine?”

  “Yeah, sure,” Zurra said brining up an input window. “You just have to turn off the default heroine and input your own.”

  “Can you really?” Ilrica said, leaping over. “I wanna make one with me and Gerald together, too.”

  “No, he is mine,” Trahzi insisted.

  “You can’t call dibs, I saw him first.”

  Zurra waved her arms around and screamed. “I knew him before any of you!”

  Gerald looked down at Cadbury pecking at the crumpled poster and gave up. While the three girls squabbled and screamed, he quietly walked over and wheeled Nikki’s bed out into the hall, and then into the next room over.

  Gerald put the last of the ingredients for the soup into the stock pot. Even with the door closed, he could still hear the three girls fighting across the hall.

  “No way! Change the settings,” came Ilrica’s muffled voice. “I get to be the submissive one, Gerald has to be the dominant one!”

  “Why do girls have to be so obsessed with sex?” he sighed.

  Nikki was watching him curiously. He patted her on the head, which pleased her greatly.

  While the soup cooked, Gerald took out his portable vone and looked up what was important to him. During his morning interviews, he had been careful to mention the orphanages back on Central as often as he could. Checking the adoption registry, he was delighted to learn that little Nust had been adopted that morning.

  Gerald smiled and breathed easily. “Good for you, little guy.”

  He grinned from ear to ear when he read the best part. The family that had adopted him owned their own wedding photography business.

  “Oh wow, that’s perfect for him.” He remembered Nust pretending to use the little wooden camera Gerald had carved for him. Now he would be able to use a real one.

  Gerald ladled out a bowlful of the soup he had made and set it down. Nikki eyed it hungrily, although he warned her to wait.

  “More... more,” she said, hungrily.

  As he handed her the spoon, she got overanxious and plunged her finger into the scalding liquid. She let off a little yelp and snapped her finger away, knocking the bowl to the floor.

  “Oh no,” Gerald said, grabbing a cup. “Are you okay?”

  She looked surprised at the sensation of pain as he poured cold water over the burn to soothe it. Gerald wasn’t really sure if prosthetic fingers needed to be treated for burns at all, but it seemed to help, so he did it anyway.

  “Ohh, you got an owie, there,” he said, blowing on it gently. “We’ll make it all better.”

  “Ow... ie?” she repeated.

  “Yes, your finger is hurt.”

  She sniffed a little, starting to calm down. “Hurt... bad?”

  Gerald nodded and poured some more cold water to soothe her. “Yes, hurt is bad.”

  As he put a bandage on her, she watched him intently. Finally, she reached out with her other hand, now fully healed, and rested it on the cast he wore on his shoulder.

  “Hurt?” she asked.

  Gerald nodded. “Yes, my shoulder is hurt too.”

  “Hurt... bad.”

  “Yes,” he said gently.

  Slowly she sat up towards him. He wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, but he stayed still so as not to startle her. Quick movements made her anxious.

  Reaching over, she took the cup from his hand, and poured some of the cold water over his cast. Then she pursed her lips, and blew soothingly on it. “All better.”

  Gerald couldn’t help but smile at her. “Thank you, Nikki.”

  * * *

  As Gerald went to bed that night, he thought about how much Trahzi had changed since he first met her. She had grown so much as a person. She still had a lot of rough edges, but a lot had been smoothed over as well. Those that remained gave her a bit of personality. She had a lot of things still to learn, but it seemed like she understood people so much better than she used to. He couldn’t really put his finger on when it had happened, but somewhere along the line, she had ceased being a scary demon, and had become a normal girl.

  What made him the most happy was how comfortable she had become around the other girls. None of them would admit it, but he was happy that they were becoming friends, even if was just a temporary cease-fire. It wasn’t that long ago that their fighting over him resulted in buildings being destroyed and mountain ranges being blasted. Now, it had softened quite a bit, to the point of playful ribbing and respected competition, rather than the cut-throat business it had been.

  When he was honest with himself, he had to admit that his own feelings towards her had changed as well. She used to terrify him, but that morning he had taken her hand without even thinking twice about it. It just felt right.

  At first he had been a conscripted teacher, someone forced by blackmail and pain of death to spend time with her. Now, he didn’t need any coercion, he even enjoyed her company. In his heart he knew that he would miss her were she to go away.

  Gerald lifted up his hand and looked at it in the darkness. He could still feel the cool touch of her skin. In that moment he realized that he was changing as well. He hadn’t even bothered to go to Father M’Heit about having held her hand. That was strange for him. What bothered him even more is that going to confessional hadn’t even occurred to him until now. It was as if he were losing his grip on his goals, his dreams. Every marker that he had ever set for himself was evaporating, and it didn’t even worry him. It only worried him that it didn’t worry him.

  Gerald rubbed his eyes. “Am I going crazy?”

  When he removed his hands, in his mind he could see Trahzi’s sweet beautiful eyes as she cared for the puppy, and it melted his heart.

  Gerald sat up, startled. His chest felt tight, but his heart was racing. He felt an almost overwhelming desire to be with her. To hold her. A part of his mind suggested that he go over to her room right now and knock on her door, but the rest of him knew that would be crazy. It was the middle of the night, and going over to a girl’s room and asking to come in was completely improper. Yet he still wanted to do it. He smacked the side of his head. He couldn’t believe how irrational he was being.

  “Why am I acting this way?”

  Then the realization hit, and it scared him. Gerald placed his hand on his chest. “No, it couldn’t be... I mean, I couldn’t possibly...”

  Then there was a knock at the door.

  Gerald carefully got up and dressed himself. There was something strange in the air. Some imperceptible feeling, some instinctive recognition that something strange was happening.

  He was fully awake now, completely focused. He slid open the door and saw Trahzi standing there. Somehow he knew that it would be her. She was clutch
ing the puppy tightly against her chest.

  When Gerald looked up at her face, he saw that she was crying, and it stabbed him in the heart to see it.

  “Trahzi, what’s wrong?”

  She sniffed. She as trembling. “Promise me you won’t leave me. Please.”

  “What? No, of course not, what brought this on?”

  Without thinking he took her hand and lead her inside. As soon as the door closed, the last of her composure broke and she completely broke down. Gerald couldn’t believe how hard she was sobbing. Her entire frame quivered so much he feared she might drop the puppy, so he moved to take her, but Trahzi pulled her away.

  “What’s wrong, Trahzi?”

  “I... I can’t hear them anymore.”

  “Hear who?”

  “The other Trahzi. Their voices are gone. I am completely alone.”

  Gerald reached out and took her in his arms. He didn’t know what to think. He was in complete shock. It was all he could think of just to hold her as she cried. For the longest time, he held her while she sobbed.

  Finally, her emotions dried out a bit, and the numbness gave her a reprieve.

  “When did this happen?” he asked, wiping her tears away with his handkerchief.

  “Earlier today. When you left, I realized that I had been ignoring your feelings. I realized that you may not have wanted me to make that autobook about you and me. My heart hurt, and I realized that it was a new kind of hurt. My heart wasn’t hurting because someone had hurt it, or because I was afraid of losing someone dear to me. My heart was hurting because your heart was hurting. I wanted to go help you, make you feel better, and then it occurred to me that something was wrong.”

  “What was wrong?”

  “I was more worried about your well being than my own. It was such a strange warm feeling, like a little fire inside of me. I had never felt it before, but I knew what it was.”

  She looked up at him, completely vulnerable. “I realized that I loved you, that I would do anything to make you happy, that I would do anything you asked me to. Not because you were controlling me, but because I adore you. I realized that my heart was no longer my own, that it had been given away... given to you... and then...”

  She began to cry again.

  “...and then...”

  She covered her face and sobbed.

  “...and then I felt my mind break away from the other Trahzi. You can’t imagine what it is like. Even though it has been a long time since I have been with them physically, their song has always been there, and now it is gone. The universe is now a silent void, with me at the center, completely alone.”

  Gerald’s mind frantically searched for a solution, any solution. “Would it help if we returned you to the other Trahzi?”

  She shook her head. “Distance would change nothing. “I can’t hear them because I am no longer a part of them. I have been cut away, culled, discarded, and removed like a tumor. I am no longer a Trahzi, I have become an other.”

  Gerald’s heart broke and he pulled her close, holding her, kissing her forehead, his tears mingling with hers as they held each other.

  “Oh my gosh, Trahzi. I am so... so very sorry. I did this to you, didn’t I? I can’t tell you how awful I feel. I should have never...”

  “No,” she said, grabbing his sleeve. “Please, do not withdraw from me. Do not pull away. Everyone else has left me. Every other voice has gone.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes swimming with tears. “You are all I have left. Please, don’t you leave me, too!”

  Gerald wanted to run away. He felt like he had destroyed her. He felt like he had killed her, in a very real way. He felt like a villain. He wanted to leave and hide himself away forever. The shame of it all was more than he could bear. But he stayed. She needed him, and as much as it hurt to stay, it would hurt even more to leave.

  “Okay,” he said, locking down on his feelings with steel straps. “You need me, and I am here for you.”

  “Thank you,” she said, looking up at him pitifully. “Please, promise me you won’t leave me, please.”

  She buried her face in his broad chest. “Please, please, please...”

  Gerald cupped her face and lifted it up, looking deeply into her eyes. “I promise, Trahzi.”

  “Thank you,” she said.

  She wrapped herself around him like a frightened little child. They lay there together for the rest of that first long night. Her first night alone in the dark. Every now and again he would feel her body shake, and she would cry quietly into his chest. He calmly stroked her hair, and sang to her.

  His singing eventually awoke Nikki, who watched in concern from her bed for a long time. Gerald wanted to explain what was happening, but he was too overcome with emotion to find the words.

  But Nikki seemed to understand anyway. She climbed out of her bed, and on wobbly, partially formed legs, she came over and hugged Trahzi as well. Stroking her long black hair, Nikki joined Gerald in singing to her, her pretty, synthetic voice harmonizing effortlessly with his own, until finally, just before dawn, they finally helped Trahzi fall asleep.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  While ideally a recently departed soul will be reincarnated almost immediately, the reality is that many must wait for a time until a body in the right circumstances is ready for them to enter. During this waiting time, most relax and mingle with other recently departed souls in social mixers that are as boring and dreadful as one might imagine. A few, either through boredom or spite, will take to bothering the living by going through their houses, tilting their picture frames into odd angles, stealing one sock out of the laundry, deleting shows from their viewing queue, interrupting transmissions during the key moment of sporting events, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. While it is technically illegal to engage in haunting activities, it is rarely enforced due to the costs involved in tracking down and confining a troublesome soul. One of the most famous cases of successful prosecution involved Ister Owning of Gara Prime, who, after passing away during an unfortunate circus accident, spent the next fifteen cycles haunting the entrances to local pubs, floating up to women invisibly and unlatching their bra straps just as they stepped through the doorway.

  - A Quick and Simple Guide to The Galaxy, page 601, Tongzen Press

  The marble floor to the main hall opened up again. Down below in the darkness, Cha’Rolette stood there unflinching, as the light fell upon her. The other candidates lay around her, battered and bruised, beaten and barely breathing. Many mothers wept openly to see their injured children. Many fathers scoffed at the poor performance of their progeny.

  Cha’Rolette had not a scratch on her, not a ruffle in her clothes, not a blemish on her skin. Not one of the other candidates had managed to lay a single finger on her, despite the fact that half of them had formed an alliance against her.

  Cha’Rolette dug the heel of her shoe a little harder into Ka’Oppel’s bruised neck to pay her back for organizing the pact against her.

  A ceremonial chair at the end of a long silver chain was lowered down to her. She ignored the chair and climbed up the rope, pulling herself to the top on her own strength alone.

  When she reached the top, she looked around fearlessly.

  Who else will challenge my place? she shouted in all their minds. She was as calm as a summer’s day, as unstoppable as a raging wildfire, as immovable as a great mountain.

  Will you, E’Franna? she challenged, stepping up to him, but he backed down.

  Will you J’Ossa? she shouted, but the woman turned her face away.

  Is there no one else then? she demanded.

  The crowd was silent.

  IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?!

  No eyes could stand her gaze as she stood before them, in terrible majesty. Instinctively, they submitted to her superior strength. That was the Issaguardian way.

  Thron’Ka swallowed hard, realizing that his days as consigliere were sorely numbered. He held out the chalice to her. Now it is
said, let it be done, let it be, he said shakily.

  Cha’Rolette allowed herself the slightest grin of satisfaction as she took Lai’Monda and placed the tips of her ta’atu into the contents, absorbing them in.

  Now it is said, let it be done, let it be, the crowd repeated as they took a knee.

  Cha’Rolette Ssykes is no more. Before us now stands Cha’Rolette Honrinar Jillintor Ssykes... again.

  He added in the ‘again’ for clarity. The wording of the ceremony assumed that one was being given the title for the first time. No one had ever won it twice, nor had the need to. The old man wiped his sweaty brow at the sheer unorthodoxy of it all.

  Then E’Duwag finally did something. He stood up and floated over to her and the aged consigliere. One would think it would be a moment of joy and embracing, but he clearly had no such intentions. Do you think this changes anything? he asked, his eyes as cold as ever.

  Cha’Rolette chuckled and shook her head. His treatment of her was all so bitter, so irredeemably caustic. In the past, she would have held it in and cried herself to sleep later on. Now, she just let it roll off and laughed as she did so. You know, I just realized something.

  What is that?

  She looked at her father. In her eyes, all could see her utter betrayal she felt at his hands. The last drops of natural affection between parent and child evaporated in her heart. I am never, ever going to be good enough for you, am I, Father?

  You only just now figured that out? Clearly, you are more damaged than we thought.

  He watched, uncaring as her heart closed off to him completely and forever.

  Thron’Ka knelt before E’Duwag and took the silver family crest from around his neck. The honor is yours, the leadership will remain with your bloodline for the coming generation.

  E’Duwag reached out, but Cha’Rolette snatched the crest out of his hand before he could take it.

  The crowd gasped. Thron’Ka looked up. You dare dishonor your father?

  Cha’Rolette held up the crest in her fist. Don’t be absurd. Honor can neither be granted nor stripped by another. It must be earned by oneself. She turned to her father, and for the first time, she met his cold gaze with eyes just as cold. I did not earn this for him, so he has no right to it!