A Running Heart

by Kendra Vasquez

  “Right,” said Jay. “She hadn’t said she remembered anything exactly.”

  Ryan’s lips quirked up when he saw Rebecca wander into the dining alcove. She went around a table littered with the contents of a tackle box and a mini-vise for tying flies. On her way to gaze at a photograph of a mountain stream, her body had tipped as her step went off-balance. He recalled a time on a bike path when she’d stumbled into him.

  He listened to Jim and Jay in their discussion about Amanda who was out of his hands. Jim was obviously ready for them to leave her be. It was all words.

  Maybe he should join the debate. But Amanda was smart enough to realize who knew what. Even if she was out of sight now, there was plenty of news and media in the world to keep them updated should any of the ancient past find her, though he doubted there were any more Germs in Bayfield.

  Ryan fingered the fishing hook clasped by the jaws of the vise. A spool of thread sat on a flat spot of the tool.

  “Are you fly-fishing in Bayfield anymore?” asked Jim as he left his brother to his stewing in the living room.

  “Not as much as I’d like.”

  Jim nodded. “You should try it over here sometime. There are canyons here that the wind has a real tough time getting down into. Those open waters close to Bayfield, all you had to do was think the word and the breezes rose up.”

  Ryan smirked. “Yeah, and then all I had to do was to reach for my camera in order for the rain to roll in.”

  Jim chuckled. “Ah, Nature, that’s why we love her.”

  “I’m heading home,” Jay marched up behind Jim.

  “Jay, it’s not every day the kid visits from Bayfield. Why not stay for dinner? I’ll grill the steaks I’d planned on taking to your place today. Give my new marinade a shot.”

  Jay grunted. “Yeah? How many habaneros did you put in it this time?”

  “Just five.” Jim grinned.

  Rebecca turned from the picture and met Ryan’s eyes. The silver storm in hers had abated. She offered him a smile, trying to tell him she was fine.

  She wasn’t though, he could tell. Even as things began to settle past Amanda, her stress level hadn’t lowered. New questions answered his gaze. Questions about them, and she appeared unwelcoming toward the answers.

  Jim wanted to show Ryan his grill and led him through the brief kitchen aisle to the back deck. Jay followed shaking his head. Ryan caught sight of Rebecca bringing up the rear with a quick glance back over his shoulder. She wasn’t running away.

  ~ ~ ~

  Almost two hours later and after having dished out a wonderful, obnoxiously spicy, steak dinner, Uncle Jim dished out a final round of hugs.

  Rebecca was the first released and stood by the Rover waiting, anxious, and not exactly patient anymore. The glow of the city spilled out over the foothills. Ryan and Jim seemed to be surfing emotional undercurrents as they finished farewells. Ryan welcomed the invitation not to wait another five years for a visit.

  The porch light glowed over his excessively ruffled brown hair. Shadows were amplified under his green-hazel eyes. His gray shirt had become more and more rumpled throughout the day but the thick muscles in his arms remained smooth, very firm-looking. She hoped to be held in them one last time before—

  How hard for him to be thrust into all of this after his time alone in Bayfield. Did he feel overwhelmed? Maybe he felt like it was a return to home? Rebecca hoped for more of the latter, because if someone needed some good to come out of this, Ryan had worked the hardest for it, playing the messenger and, she glanced at her foot, healing wounds. The fixer of Jeeps had tried to fix her family.

  Once inside the Rover, there weren’t any words worth sharing with her uncle, for the moment. Rebecca claimed the seat behind the driver’s, indicated to Ryan he should take shotgun. She needed time to think, and practice bringing distance between herself and Ryan. So where did Amanda plan to go? There wasn’t enough left in Bayfield to draw her back there again.

  Rebecca couldn’t imagine where Amanda would choose to go and found her mind quickly shifting subjects. Would Ryan stay the night? She watched as he stared out the front windshield. Stars glinted green in his eyes. He moved, and she lowered her eyes, felt his direct gaze on her. Her face felt warm. He’d stay the night and in the morning . . . she had no idea, would rather avoid thinking about the future for once.

  Lights flashed along the windows as they entered the city, and towering lampposts trailed the highway.

  She’d have a lot of homework to do once he left. Yes, she could dive into her final studies, let her cousin be, and let Ryan go. Her eyes clenched shut as if denying the light would deny the thought of Ryan leaving. She didn’t want thoughts of loss to stay with her. She wanted him to.

  “All right,” said Jay. She met his hard, gem-like eyes in the mirror. “If either of you two hear from her, you—” He stopped when she lifted her eyebrow. He really expected them to call him?

  He sighed. “It’d help to know she is safe.”

  “I doubt she’ll call us,” said Rebecca. “But we’ll do what we can, Uncle Jay.”

  “Thank you.”

  Another right brought them onto Federal. Jay stopped in the middle of the parking lot. The Rover continued to idle, ready to take off the minute its riders departed.

  Rebecca climbed down, eased onto her weary, and one throbbing, feet. Ryan offered his hand to Jay. She didn’t hear the words passing between them as she closed the door. She faced the stairs, dug in her backpack for keys as the passenger front door opened. “Okay, I’ll leave them both alone,” finished Ryan then closed the door on Jay’s voice.

  Both? She waved at Uncle Jay before he pulled out of the parking lot. Taking to the steps, she listened for Ryan’s approach when someone hollered from across the lot.

  Hurried footsteps accompanied the guard from Amanda’s work as he entered the stairwell light. He wore no uniform tonight but a simple, blue button down and black denim. His jet-black hair, square jawline with flat chin, plus brown, puppy dog eyes made him rather distinctive. No wonder Amanda kept running to him. But Rebecca preferred brown and green, Ryan's direct gaze, narrow face, and familiar, heat-delivering hands. Her skin throbbed, pulse jumped at her wayward thoughts.

  “Where is she?” The guard cut into her weak, rest-needing moment.

  “Adam?” She believed that was his name.

  Adam gestured back to where Uncle Jay had exited the parking lot. “Where’s Amanda?”

  “She’s gone. She went, uh,” She glanced at Ryan who studied her face, left it to her to cover for family. “Road trip,” she finished.

  “Road trip?” Adam’s brows gathered as he scrutinized her. “Like her trip to Bayfield? Heard from their P.D. They have the owner of a rusted, green truck, one Gersham Pearson, in custody. Somehow the cops knew they should get in contact with Denver’s department and also that I had some surveillance they’d like to see.”

  “None of that means she was in Bayfield,” Ryan countered.

  “But you don’t sound particularly surprised by the information.”

  Ryan shrugged. “You talked to Rebecca over the phone and told her you identified the truck. We’re relieved that her attacker’s off the streets and appreciate being kept in the loop. The important thing is she’s safe.”

  “Safe?”

  They nodded.

  “Then why isn’t she answering her phone?”

  “I’m sure she just needs some time,” Rebecca offered. “When I hear from her, I’ll tell her you stopped by.”

  “And when will that be?”

  Ryan shared a look with her before advising Adam, “It’s probably for the best if you let her go.”

  Adam considered them, their words. “Quite some friends and family she has to let her go out alone after everyth
ing that’s happened to her,” he scoffed. “I want to help her.”

  Good luck with that. “Trust me,” she pressed. “She won’t accept it.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Thanks for your advice. Maybe you two can have a nice night.” He stormed off.

  It was for the best, Rebecca knew. One shouldn’t get involved with someone who had no plans of settling down anytime soon. If only she’d stood to such a logical resolve sooner. She felt Ryan’s eyes on her. Too late to turn back, she’d take what he offered tonight, deal with the heartbreak tomorrow. She met the steady forest of his eyes.

  They bore deep into her, set her heart at a faster, stronger beat. She’d no answer for the questions she saw there. Instead, she took to the stairs.

  Inside the apartment, Amanda’s bedroom door was ajar. Drawers were pulled out and the bed was stripped of its comforter. Ryan stood right behind her. His warm breath brushed her ear and sent shivers across her skin. She faced him.

  Would leave both of them alone.

  Not tonight, she hoped.

  He cupped her face, met her eyes with a direct look that made her heart flip. His head lowered. She rose to his warm lips. The kiss was soft, full of expression, desperation. His hands traveled down her arms and left goose bumps in their wake.

  She took in, was mesmerized by his scent of exhaust and pine darkened by juniper when intensely focused, like now.

  His thumb brushed through her bra. Her lower center sizzled. Her breath went shallow. Button-down shirt fell open. She shouldn’t, her reason rebelled. But she’d already decided. If he offered, she’d take.

  Overcome, she sent her hands up beneath his shirt. Soon it was off. Warm flesh contacted in clinging need. His callused hands moved lower, cupped her rear. He lifted her. Her legs wrapped around his waist. He nudged her womanhood and she bit back a moan, loving these final moments with him.

  At the couch, he dropped her. Eager, she wiggled out of her pants. He appeared entranced by the movement of her hips. A soft smile played on her lips. She sat up, undid the button to his jeans, slid down the zipper. He leaned forward, devoured her mouth.

  She clung to his shoulders. A cushion was removed from under her, and height shifted as he kneeled between her. Her legs stayed clasped around his torso. She met each thrust, deepened it. Hips collided. Their upper bodies leaned back until tension escalated to mountainous altitudes. Her muscles below pulsed intensity, accelerated.

  She arched toward him. His arms encircled her. Climb, climb. Her legs tightened. His hardened thrusts. She cried out while he groaned. Stiff muscles went limp against his steely hold. Released relaxing off a cliff, she let go.

  After a moment, he eased out, supported her until she nestled into the cushions. He tucked himself behind her, and she curled against him on the couch. A blanket covered them, and her lids felt heavy. One minute.

  “Rebecca?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Let’s not make this the last.”

  “Tonight it doesn’t have to be.” She nuzzled closer, was wrapped tighter. “Leave tomorrow alone.”

  When you’ll leave, back to a world familiar, away from memories of betrayal, of women walking out on you.

  It was academic. Love couldn’t conquer one-sided. But she wouldn’t force him to feel anything.

  ~ ~ ~

  Should she call him? Amanda dragged a thumb across her smartphone’s screen. Dad would explain it to everyone else, but he wouldn’t be around to hear it. She looked at the scrap of paper in her other hand. Adam deserved to know something.

  It was safe enough now. She scanned her surroundings from inside the Jeep. The wind buffeted the cab. She’d have to move around the rest area building if she wanted to get any sleep tonight. A glow settled beyond the horizon from the last city she’d passed along the somewhat flat, rolling landscape. She hadn’t stopped driving since she left Denver until after the sun bunked out of sight. She felt a rush to get out but in no hurry to get where she didn’t know she was going.

  She needed to convince Adam she was fine that it’d been her choice to leave. It’d taken Germ’s wild ride to convince her, but Adam didn’t need to hear the details.

  She’d turned out more like her mom than she ever thought possible. She’d just worn different shoes when she left her father. No, Dad had urged her to go. Where had her mom ended up anyway? Her thumb snagged on a button and the screen lit up. Amanda was smiling in the screen capture that was about a month old, in her dad’s shop at Morrison.

  Like Dad, Adam deserved to know. With the decision made, her anxiety rose, and her heart broke the speed limit. She needed to walk and talk and so got out of the car.

  Monstrous highway lights illuminated sections of the rest area. She edged down a slope to a lower bike walk out of the wind. She entered the number and clicked send. As the phone rang, headlights shone above her head as another car pulled up. Doors opened. She hiked farther down the cement path.

  “Hello?” answered Adam.

  “Ah, c’mon, Dad, please? I’ll use my allowance,” a boy’s voice begged by the minivan.

  “No. The fire danger is too high,” an adult masculine voice explained.

  “I like the ones that blow up into big balls in the sky,” a girl answered back. “Boom!” she mimicked.

  “Who is this?” asked Adam.

  “It’s Amanda.” She jogged a safe distance from the family.

  “Amanda!” His voice sounded ragged with worry. “Where are you?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Adam, I need to tell you—”

  “Of course it matters. I need to see you.”

  “Well, you can’t.” Another step forward and the wind found a break in the hill. It hammered at her and drowned out Adam’s voice.

  She flipped back around and headed out of the wind. “Adam, what did you say?”

  “I said, why? Why can’t I see you?”

  “Right. Adam, I was calling to tell you I’m safe and to thank you. Thank you for being there. It helped, a lot.”

  “I can still help.”

  “Adam, thanks, but no. I need to hit the road. I’ll see you around.”

  He was speaking as she broke the connection. She lowered the phone and sighed. Maybe the call had been a bad idea. But it was done, and she was exhausted.

  She ascended the slope and returned to the Jeep, parked it at the other end of the building and re-arranged the back for her bed. The space was tight but would work for the night.

  Tomorrow, she’d drive. She had the money. All work and no play made a good-sized sum in her checking account. So she had the time. But where would it lead her?

  Chapter 23

  A smile came to Rebecca’s lips as she nuzzled her back closer to the warm body beside her. She contacted the sofa back instead, alone on the couch. Her eyes opened, and she stared out at the room. She glanced at the clock above the television. Yes, it was morning.

  She closed her eyes to absorb the meaning but then lifted her head. The bathroom was empty and dark.

  Her depressing search had to continue. She scanned the room for his pack, shoes, any sign he was still in Denver. None came into view.

  With the comforter around her, she curled into a ball, making herself as nonexistent as possible. His scent surrounded her. As easy an out as possible, she thought, for him.

  Fine, the anger from his abrupt leaving would make it easier. It was time to return to the real, harsh world anyway. She shoved down, with sudden force, her dark feelings and focused on what homework needed done by Monday. For Psychology, she had to have Chapter Five read. Maybe there’d be something about handling loss. She shook it off, couldn’t let emotion leech into school. But she couldn’t help it.

  Her parents had work and each other. Couldn’t she have the same? Not if Ryan wasn�
��t interested. Fine, enough. She moved on and forced herself to focus. Something about a report, she needed to prepare one before lab in Geology.

  The apartment door opened. Her head peeked over the armrest. At the sight, her blood pressure spiked. She felt more than relief at the sight of Ryan in the doorway. He held a paper bag with a sticker from the local burrito place. The furniture hid her smile, sign of the ecstasy at getting to meet those eyes again. His mossy-green gaze moved over her and his mouth performed its sultry half-quirk. The expression flipped her heart.

  Her hand went to where his gaze had settled. She discovered the knotted mass of her hair. Her other hand came up in an effort to smooth it out.

  “Don’t. I like it.”

  The blanket fell off her shoulder. His eyes darkened, but he turned them away, stepped into the kitchen.

  She hurried into the bedroom and closed the door. Her heart pounded as her back rested against the door panel. She wouldn’t push him. She refused to compel him to have feelings for her, especially pity, as she’d fallen so shamelessly after such a brief time together. He’d get out of this freely, and she’d salvage her pride. School would be her back-up. Slipping on fresh jeans as she decided all this, she then pulled on an old college sweatshirt and, ignoring his comment, dragged a comb through her tangled mess of hair. Keep it cool, she thought.

  Upon exiting her room, she heard the coffeepot finishing its brew. She went to the couch and folded up the blanket, busied her hands, brought her backpack around.

  Ryan came out with two mugs of coffee and the paper bag to the three-legged coffee table. Two breakfast burritos emerged from the bag. Her focus dropped to the meal. She told herself the fluttering in her stomach was from extreme hunger even after the barbecue last night.

  She knew the restaurant. He’d driven to get there. “You fixed the truck.”