Cado

by Dyllin, D. T.

  I smiled sadly at Lucian. “Do you think I want it to be this way? I love you—” My voice cracked. I cleared my throat and tried again, my voice softer, more fragile sounding. “I love you, Lucian. I’m not ever going to deny that again. But it doesn’t matter—it’s just not enough. You’ve become too twisted to understand, I think. You won’t walk away from the apocalypse, you won’t be content with just me.” I gripped the blade tighter, my fingers going completely white. “There’s only one way this can end.”

  I plunged the blade into my sternum, the sharp steel sliding in much easier than I thought it would, the agony much worse. My mouth opened on a silent cry.

  “Nooo!” Lucian roared, sweeping me up in his arms.

  I laughed, the sound coming out as a wheeze. He couldn’t heal me when I didn’t want to be. That was another catch of free will. “We just aren’t meant to have a happy ending, Lucian. Maybe you’ll accept that now. I have.”

  He pressed his face into my neck, cradling me tightly into his body. “This isn’t goodbye. I’ll come for you in your next life. I’ll always come for you, my Nyssa.”

  I slipped my hand into his hair and tugged. He pulled away from me so I could meet his gaze. “We just were never meant to be.” I reached up to cradle his face and he turned into my palm.

  “I love you. Please. You’re going to forget me again.”

  “Move on. We aren’t meant to be.” I gasped for air, blood filling my lungs, I sputtered on it. Lucian pressed his lips to mine, the crimson liquid staining his beautiful mouth.

  “I can’t. I can never move on.” Tears glistened in his eyes.

  “I do—love you.”

  He smirked despite himself. “I know.”

  I was so tired and breathing was getting more difficult. My eyes fluttered shut. Lucian gripped me tighter as if he could keep me with him somehow.

  I turned my thoughts skyward for the first time in a long time, a silent prayer taking up the last of my concentration. I prayed not for me but for Lucian. Nothing else mattered to me in that moment. With the last bit of strength I had left in my entire being—strength that seemed to come from nowhere, I wrenched the blade from my body and pushed it into Lucian’s heart. A startled gasp, an exhalation of breath, escaped him as his body collapsed on top of mine.

  And then it all faded away…my life included.

  35

  Michael

  Tavia and I looked away when Lucian and Tiffany lay dead in each other’s arms. We’d seen all we had needed to, or at least I had. “I can’t believe she actually did it. I never thought she would.”

  Tavia pushed her long golden hair over her shoulders and flexed her snow-white wings. “I’m not. From the beginning Lucian’s real weakness was her, or his love for her. He could have stopped her from taking his life. I don’t think he wanted to live without her anymore. It’s very Romeo and Juliet somehow.” She paused, twirling a piece of hair around her fingers. “It makes me wonder though…” Her voice trialed off in thought.

  Curiosity struck me. Tavia was a young angel and sometimes her youth enabled her to see things I didn’t anymore. I had become jaded over the years. “What do you wonder?”

  “Oh, if father had planned for it to turn out like this all along?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I snapped. “That makes no sense at all.”

  She turned wide blue eyes to regard me thoughtfully. “Doesn’t it? I mean, think about it. Father created angels, and he created humans. He gave us life but we all needed to learn how to live, to love. Some of us still need to learn that lesson.” She eyed my poignantly before continuing.

  “Lucian was one of his favorites. Father had to have known what would happen when Lucian was spending so much time with Nyssa. I think Lucian nearly fell for her the instant he saw her. If you ask me, their souls are the ones that were meant for each other all along. But they had to go through everything they did to grow together. And now they will always be together.”

  I tried to unsuccessfully stifle the very human gesture of rolling my eyes. “The idea that father wanted— Wait. Lucian was killed with one of our blades, they won’t be together at all. They—”

  “What? Didn’t you hear her prayer for Lucian before she took both of their lives? And his. The first fallen actually prayed to our father again. He let himself be killed for her. They both sacrificed their lives for each other. You know father loves to reward ultimate sacrifices and selfless acts. I think what they did falls under both categories. And don’t you think father would want one of his favorite sons to be happy? That’s ridiculous? And he found a way to punish humans in the process. Just because Lucian abdicates Hell doesn’t mean another won’t take his place as ruler. Face it, Michael, Hell needs to exist just as much as Heaven does. Light and dark rely on each other. One can’t be without the other. What if father created Lucian to build Hell, and Nyssa was his reward—his reward for all the suffering he had to endure to do what he was born to do? I think you don’t give father enough credit sometimes. Personally I think he’s a big softy and has a thing for happily ever afters. Just my opinion though.” She pushed off into the sky, and disappeared quickly from view.

  I remained where I was for a few more moments. A slow smile spread across my face as I thought about what Tavia had just suggested. I wasn’t sure if her theory was correct or what would be done with Lucian and Nyssa even if it was—but I had a feeling. I lifted my head back and gazed into the sky. “Well done, father, well done.”

  36

  The grand design is both intricate and simple in equal parts. The mysteries of how and why things are the way that they are rely heavily on mystery. So what happens when you’re shone a glimpse of the man behind the curtain, so to speak? What happens when you know things you shouldn’t?

  I don’t know what most would do, but I know what I do… I wish every day that I could fall into the ignorant bliss that most people go through life feeling. Knowledge is not power in my situation…it’s agony.

  In this life I’ve been cursed with the worst thing of all…my memories. I remember Lucian and all my lives, and yet, it changes nothing. Maybe it’s my punishment. Maybe all of it has been. At night I’m assaulted by images of the man I’ve always loved, and always would, no matter the body I inhabited.

  “Abby!” my mother called. “You have a visitor.”

  I thundered down the stairs, pushing my morose musings from my mind. Tomorrow was my eighteenth birthday, and I did try to act like a normal teenager the best that I could. The time for figuring out the rest, the plan for this life, would come later. I don’t want to let my parents down. They love me, and I love them. I would never burden them with my secrets, not that they would ever believe me.

  “Who is…” My heart stuttered in my chest as the tall lithe boy standing next to my mother turned to meet my gaze, his bright blue eyes locking with mine.

  “This is Luke, his family just moved in next door. He came over to meet you.” My mother smiled at me before she left the room.

  I was frozen in place. “L—Luke?” I choked out. I had to be going insane. His eyes though—his eyes.

  Luke closed the space between us. He leaned into me, his hot breath fanning across my face, causing goose bumps to erupt along my flesh in quick succession. “So hey, I’m Luke, like your mom said. I just moved in and well—” He shifted away from me nervously. “I had to come over and meet you. I feel like—” He snapped his mouth shut and turned away. I couldn’t help but wonder if what I was thinking was even possible. I’d thought that only someone who was originally human, like myself, could go from being an angel to human.

  I reached up and touched his shoulder, the familiar spark snapping through my body. I inhaled sharply. I was afraid to believe what my body was telling me was true. I had to have more proof—some kind of confirmation. There had to be a way for me to know for sure—to know everything I was currently thinking and feeling wasn’t merely wishful thinking. “What? What do you feel like?�
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  “It’s stupid. I—”

  I tried not to dig my nails into him. “Just tell me, Luke. What do you feel like?”

  He met my gaze head on, his eyes burning. “I feel like I know you. I—I feel like I have some kind of connection to you.” His fingers trailed along my face tentatively. “You’re so beautiful. I want—I need to—”

  Luke’s lips sealed over mine with force. As his tongue swept into my mouth to entangle with mine, moving with all the desire of centuries, I was given the answer I needed.

  I wasn’t sure how or why, or what it meant, because I didn’t care anymore. All that mattered was that he’d somehow found his way to me again.

  Epilogue

  The fantasy for most women is the happily ever after, the white knight or the prince charming. Or maybe they imagine the hero swoops in to save them from their mundane existence. But what happens if you catch the attention of the villain instead? And then what happens if he demands for you to stand beside him in all his dark glory, to rule beside him as his evil queen? Maybe it was different for me than it would be for someone else because I’d created the villain. I have no way of knowing. All I know is my truths and what happened to me.

  All lines between black and white blurred to gray. The love of a bad man can be just as fulfilling as that of a good man—as long as he’s good to you. The rest doesn’t matter. Love is love; it sees no difference between good or bad, right or wrong. It’s blind to the character of a person. It consumes all within its path.

  I was consumed. I love Lucian. I love him with all of my being. And I won’t stop loving him even if he eventually rips the world apart. None of it matters anymore… As long as he never lets me go.

  I said that there would be no happy ending, and in a sense there isn’t. You see… One can’t have a happy ending if the story doesn’t end. And let me assure you, my and Lucian’s story will never end. It will go on until time ceases to have all meaning and beyond. We are timeless. Just like our love.

  Acknowledgements

  Boy, my acknowledgements are super redundant. *lesigh * But just because I write practically the same thing in all of them doesn’t mean I love or appreciate anyone any less than authors with kick ass acknowledgements. It just means that by the time I finish a book my creativity is temporarily spent. Apparently that includes thinking up unique things to say here. Sooo… without farther ado…

  This is the part where I get to thank all the people who made this book possible. I really hope I don’t leave out someone important. I know I say something similar in all of my acknowledgements, but Holy Cow, Batman! The thought of forgetting to thank someone important is SUPER stressful. It’s like when your mind goes blank when trying to take an important test. *pulls the covers over my head* But here I go anyways…as usual… EEP!

  First I’d like to thank my amazing Hubby, who is supportive and patient beyond the realm of what I imagine any normal man is . . . dah dah da duuuh . . . Super Hubby! (Copy and paste! I’m just going to put that in every book because it makes him smile.)

  Next I would like to thank my parents for encouraging my love of reading and crazy imagination during my most impressionable years. Carnegie Library rocks! (Again...copy and paste! Lol)

  Then of course there’s my kick ass beta readers for Cado: (Well actually, this time around, it was beta reader, singular. There were extenuating circumstances with timing…) Shona Lawrence!!! Thank you so for taking the time to read another of my books so quickly, and in this case twice in a row! It really humbles me how awesome you are to me! Love you!

  Of course I need to thank Lindsay Tiry for her amazing cover design! She always goes above and beyond for me and puts up with all of my ‘notes’. Anyone who doesn’t know what that means...consider yourself lucky. Ha!

  Let’s not forget Amy from The Eyes For Editing! She made all the prettiness possible that’s happening within these pages.

  I’d like to give an extra special thanks to Ren Reidy for heading up the Tik Tok Press team, and for proofing Cado. My books would probably disappear into the ether and have a ton of typos without you. And let’s not forget that your MS comments keep me entertained during one of the most boring parts of publishing.

  I’d also like to give a gi-normous, super extra special thanks to Megan D. Martin for editing Cado. And also for making me laugh with your MS comments, as per usual. One day I will not reference Superman in one of my books. Okay, we all know that’s a big fat lie. I’m obsessed.

  And last but certainly not least: Thank you to all the book bloggers and fans who keep me going! I wouldn’t be anywhere if not for you guys! I love each and every one of you! Big Booky Hugs!

  About the Author

  Photo by Stephanie Saujon

  D.T. Dyllin is a bestselling author who writes both paranormal and contemporary romance. Anything with a love story is her kryptonite. Her obsession with affairs-of-the-heart is what first drove her to begin twisting her own tales of scorching romance.

  D.T. was born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Black & Gold for life, baby!) She now lives in Little Rock, Arkansas with her husband and two spoiled German Shepherds.