The Tainted (The Tainted Series Book 1)

by Anna Hill

Still, even as he held her so close, she could feel a wall between them. There was obviously something more than friendship in their embrace, yet Rebecca could always feel the hesitation in Maverick’s demeanor, as if he would never completely open himself up to her. Rebecca hated how weak he made her, but her longing to be around him overruled the ache she felt in her chest every time she sensed him pulling away.

  “What’s got you looking so concerned, Becs?”

  Rebecca snapped back to reality to find Faolan leaning up against the tree opposite her.

  “Faolan!” she exclaimed, her depressing train of thought completely forgotten. “You’re back!” Rebecca pushed off of her tree and ran to her friend.

  Hearing her shout, the rest of the crew stopped training and quickly came over to join them.

  “Welcome back,” Owen said with a giant smile.

  “We missed your long, deep silences,” laughed Aeden.

  Faolan raised an eyebrow at the pair, but allowed herself a small smile.

  “You’ve been gone so long, you must be starving,” Etain came right up to Faolan and placed a hand on her arm. “It’s nice to have you back.”

  Faolan was about to respond when Maverick joined the group. A tense look that was almost too fast to notice passed between them before Faolan turned her attention back to Etain.

  “Thank you, but I’m alright. I’ll meet you all for dinner this evening.” Then, without another word, she turned and headed toward the house. As she left, the rest of the group made their way back toward the training field--except for Maverick. He remained still, standing no more than a foot away from Rebecca. When the crew was out of earshot, he began to speak, though he kept his eyes firmly on the crew as they continued to walk away.

  “I’m going to go get a full report from Faolan. If for some reason I have to leave for a while, I need you to promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

  Rebecca bristled slightly at his words. Regardless of her feelings for him, she wasn’t about to let him scold her like a child. Irritated, she remained silent, looking down at the forest floor in front of her.

  “Rebecca,” his voice had become a harsh whisper. Shocked, Rebecca looked up at him. He’d stepped forward so that he was only inches away from her, his eyes filled with an intensity she did not expect. “I need you to promise me.”

  “Alright,” she finally answered him, “I promise, but--”

  “No buts,” Maverick said, cutting her off. He paused for a moment, searching her eyes as his face softened. “I need to know you’ll be safe if I leave. If anything were to happen to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

  Rebecca felt her heart leap slightly in her chest and she longed to reach out to him. But she was afraid that her feelings would overwhelm her, that she would cross a boundary with him. Instead she nodded, “Alright, I promise.”

  Maverick sighed with relief and then turned to walk back toward the house. At the last second, he reached back and grasped onto one of her hands. Giving it a swift, tight squeeze, he headed off without looking back.

  Rebecca watched him disappear along the same path Faolan had taken.

  “I think he likes you.”

  Rebecca turned to see little Trysten leaning against a tree in front of her. He smiled proudly, his arms folded across his chest as he stared up at her.

  She smiled down at him, taking strides to appear unfazed by his comment, “Were you spying?” She placed her hands on her hips, pretending to scold him.

  Trysten raised his eyebrows, faking a look of shock, “Me? Spy? Never!”

  Rebecca laughed, “Oh, of course not. What was I thinking?”

  A mischievous grin curled up the corners of his mouth, “Which is why I wouldn’t know anything about you sneaking out of the house at night…”

  It was Rebecca’s turn to look shocked, only she wasn’t faking it. Her mouth fell open and her stomach plummeted. She tried to form an answer, but panic stopped any words from escaping her mouth.

  Trysten snickered as he pushed himself off of his tree and walked up to her, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Maverick.”

  Rebecca released a heavy breath and her panic subsided. As far as she could tell, he didn’t seem to know that Maverick was also sneaking out at night to meet her. Then, Trysten did something that shocked her possibly even more.

  Taking a step closer, he stared up at her, his face completely straight. “You should be more careful, though. If the soldiers are out there in the woods, they’ll show you no mercy if they find you, and…well, we’d all miss you if you were gone.”

  Rebecca gazed down at Trysten, touched by his words. Though she’d always liked him, she’d never felt as though he’d cared much for her. A soft smile lit up her face. “I promised Maverick I wouldn’t do anything stupid. I’ll promise you the same.”

  Trysten suddenly laughed, breaking the tender moment, “You not do anything stupid?” He stepped away from her, just out of her reach, and winked, “You know, you really shouldn’t make a promise you can’t keep.”

  Trysten disappeared instantly as Rebecca lunged toward him, leaving her groping the air. As much as she liked the little bugger, he could be a complete pain when he wanted to.

  That night, the crew had dinner together with Faolan, though Maverick was nowhere to be seen. As the evening came to a close, Rebecca made her way upstairs, taking a quick detour past Maverick’s office and bedroom. Both were dark and empty, with no sign of him.

  Rebecca slowly made her way to her room, feeling an emptiness seeping into her. She had known that Maverick would need to leave again eventually, but the thought of him being out there alone and pursued by the Aillil soldiers made her sick to her stomach.

  As she approached her door, she found Faolan leaning against the frame, watching her. Rebecca smiled softly at her friend. Maverick might be gone, but at least she had Faolan back to help her through the nights.

  “Have you been sleeping any better?” Faolan asked. Her voice was soft, but Rebecca could hear a hint of worry in it.

  “No. If anything, it’s been getting worse,” Rebecca admitted as she walked into her room and sat down on her bed. Faolan followed and sat at the opposite end.

  “Are you still fighting the dreams?”

  Rebecca nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest. Flashes of the nightmares ran through her head, so vivid and horrifying that she clenched her eyes shut, willing them to go away.

  “Rebecca, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I don’t think you should fight them anymore. This is your gift; you need to find a way to work with it, not against it.”

  “I can’t,” Rebecca’s voice had fallen to a whisper. “The dreams are too real. They’re terrifying.”

  Faolan moved closer to Rebecca and placed a hand on her shoulder. Rebecca looked up at her friend, surprised by her intimate gesture. It was the first time she’d ever seen Faolan break from her ordinarily strict and aloof demeanor.

  “Trust me, until you allow your gift to be a part of you, you’ll never feel whole. You’re a Truaillithe, Rebecca, which means you’re half human and half Aillil. You need to accept both sides of yourself. If you don’t accept your ability, it will be the ruin of you.”

  They sat in silence for a moment longer, then Faolan gave her a gentle nod, stood, and made her way out of the room.

  Rebecca remained curled up on her bed, giving her mind some time to process Faolan’s advice. She’d never thought of her gift as being the embodiment of her Aillil heritage. She was terrified of her dreams, hated that she had to live with them, yet the concept that she’d inherited them from her Aillil side made her feel connected to her parents in a way she’d never felt before.

  So many times throughout her life, Rebecca had tried to imagine her parents. She would attempt to picture everything about them--how they looked, how they acted, what their laughter sounded like. But above all, she wondered how much she was like them. Who did she most closely resemble, her mother or her father? Which one di
d she inherit her personality and quirks from? None of these thoughts mattered, though. In the end, she knew they were only the wishful musings of a lonely orphan.

  But now, the idea that her ability was a gift from her Aillil parent made Rebecca feel as if she finally had a true tie to her family. It was a part of her, as much as any other aspect of herself that her parents had passed down to her. Maybe Faolan was right, that in order for her to feel whole, she needed to be able to accept every aspect of who she really was.

  Rebecca crawled under her sheets, setting her mind straight. Her panic threatened to break through at the edge of her thoughts, but as she took a deep breath she squeezed her eyes shut, determined. Tonight, she wasn’t going to fight her dreams, she wasn’t going to allow her fear to get the better of her. For the first time, Rebecca was going to give in to her gift.

  Eleven

  Rebecca walked out of the tree line at the edge of her clearing. Dawn had just broken and the sun’s first rays were beginning to light up the surrounding treetops, glistening off the edges of their outstretched branches. It was cold outside--cold enough that the morning dew on the grass was frozen over.

  As she scanned the opening, she saw small clouds of vapor drifting up from the middle of the small field. Someone was lying there, yet from this distance, she couldn’t quite see who.

  Rebecca cautiously made her way forward, but stopped immediately when she realized that no white cloud came from her lungs when she exhaled. Nor did the frozen grass crunch beneath her feet when she stepped forward. She held her hands out in front of herself to inspect them. She looked the same as usual, she even felt the same as usual, and yet something was off.

  Movement in front of her made her suddenly look up. The figure in the grass was sitting up now. Rebecca studied it for only a moment before she realized she was looking at someone all too familiar. She was staring straight at herself.

  This had to be a dream. Instantly, panic began to flood her chest. Every fiber in her body shouted for her to get out, to wake herself up and free herself from whatever nightmare this might be. But she fought against her instinct. Not tonight. Not this time.

  Rebecca pushed away her fear, and once again began to enter the clearing. She approached herself slowly. She rarely had a dream outside her body, but when she did, watching herself never ceased to feel indescribably strange. Tonight, she looked more peaceful than Rebecca had ever before seen herself in a dream. There was even a small smile on her face as she watched the distant sunrise light up the horizon with soft hues of pink and orange.

  She’d only made it halfway into the clearing when a strange feeling made her look off into the woods on the far side. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She was about to continue walking toward herself, when she caught sight of a small, but distinct, puff of white vapor coming out of the tree line. There was someone back there, watching.

  Changing her course and picking up her pace, Rebecca headed straight toward the small white clouds of breath. Though she knew she couldn’t be seen, she approached her new target cautiously, apprehension filling her chest. She’d always been so certain that someone had been watching her in the clearing, and now she was about to find proof. Finally, she had a chance to see who it was.

  Rebecca ducked into the trees about twenty feet away from where the person stood, and began slinking forward through the forest. The soft morning light cast dark shadows amongst the trees, almost fully hiding the mysterious figure from view. She could just barely detect it in front of her.

  When she was only five feet away, she suddenly stopped. The shifting shadows had pulled away from the edge of the figure, revealing a green sleeve--the fabric color she’d grown to know all too well.

  There was something different about this garment, however. It wasn’t cut the same way the soldier’s uniforms had been. As the light continued to shift, more of the clothing was revealed. The sleeve belonged to an intricate, figure-hugging jacket made of green leather, paired with matching slim-cut pants. The jacket’s high, rigid collar stood stiff around the slender neck of a beautiful woman. Though Rebecca couldn’t see her clearly, there was something familiar about her, as if she’d seen this woman somewhere before.

  Without realizing it, Rebecca began to slowly walk forward toward the woman. She was older, possibly around 45 years old, but she was stunningly beautiful, her body long, graceful, and slender. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a taut braid that reached just below her shoulder blades, and her strong, erect stance made her appear both formidable and yet elegant.

  From the angle Rebecca approached, she could barely see the side of the woman’s face as she peered out into the clearing, but Rebecca could tell the woman was smiling. She looked calm and peaceful as she stared intently at the spot where Rebecca’s other self was sitting in the grass. It felt almost as if the woman yearned to be out there as well.

  After a long, hushed pause, the woman gave a slow nod out to the clearing and turned to make her way off into the woods. Rebecca’s breath instantly caught in her throat and her heart nearly leapt right out of her chest. She was now staring straight into the amber eyes of the woman, unable to look away. They were Rebecca’s eyes, almost exact replicas. In fact, the woman’s whole face looked so similar to her own that, if it weren’t for their age difference, she could have been looking into a mirror.

  Warm tears rolled down Rebecca’s cheeks as the realization finally dawned on her. This was her mother. All those times she’d run to this clearing, frightened by her nightmares, it had been her mother who’d watched her, who’d made her feel better. She’d been so close all these years, risking her life in order to comfort her daughter.

  Her mother slowly walked toward Rebecca, and then continued straight past. Rebecca had nearly reached out, tried to grasp onto and stop her mother, but she knew this was only a dream and that her mother would not be able to see or feel her.

  Rebecca turned and watched her mother walk away until she disappeared into the forest. Tears continued to pour down her cheeks. They weren’t from sadness, but from pure joy and love.

  She’d seen her real mother. And it was clear that her mother loved and missed her just as much as Rebecca longed for her.

  * * *

  Rebecca awoke in her bed to find her window fully lit up with morning sunshine. For the first time since coming to this house, she’d slept through the entire night.

  She wiped her cheek and felt her damp pillow. She’d apparently been crying in real life as well. But now the tears had stopped, replaced by a feeling of hope and love that coursed throughout her body. She breathed deeply and smiled. She’d seen her mother, and she was determined to see her again. But now she wanted more--she was determined to find her mother outside the world of her dreams.

  Twelve

  “Well aren’t you just the picture of happiness,” Owen smiled over at Rebecca as she plopped down next to him on the couch in the TV room. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so happy.”

  Rebecca chuckled as she pushed her cereal around in her bowl, “Amazing what a good night’s sleep can do.” She took a huge bite and smiled back at Owen as she munched away.

  “It’s nice to see you’re finally settling in. I’ll admit we were a little worried that you might secretly hate us,” Owen winked playfully, but Rebecca caught a hint of truth behind his words.

  She swallowed quickly, rushing to respond, “Oh no! I hope you didn’t really think that! It’s just taken me a while to get settled and used to this new lifestyle. I mean, a couple months ago I was getting ready to start senior year and now I’m not even fully human.”

  “It’s alright Rebecca, I was just teasing you. And trust me, we all know how you feel--we’ve all gone through it too. I know it’s not an easy process. I was just about to start high school when Ricky found me, or at least that’s what I would’ve been doing if I hadn’t been kicked out of every school I’d attended.”

  “You?” Rebecca set her bowl d
own on the table and faced Owen. She couldn’t imagine Owen ever getting in trouble. He seemed so harmless. “How did you get kicked out of school?”

  Owen laughed at Rebecca’s confusion. “You’ve heard that subtlety wasn’t exactly my strong suit before I came here. I might have, once or twice, used my gift at school…on the teachers…maybe even a principle.” Owen’s face lit up into a cheeky grin.

  “You sound proud of yourself,” Rebecca raised her eyebrow playfully.

  “Oh, you should have seen the time I got called into my teacher’s office for a conference. She just kept blabbing on and on, and I was getting so bored of her monotonous lecturing about what a horrible student I was and how I’d never amount to anything. It was unbearable!

  “Anyway, she had this desk plant, a small pot of daffodils that she was clearly overwatering and killing, so I made them grow…and grow…and grow even more until they completely enveloped her and knocked her right out of her chair!”

  They both burst out laughing, imagining the woman engulfed by the Jurassic-sized flowers.

  “There she was, laying on the floor with her feet sticking straight up into the air, fighting off flowers larger than her head!”

  “Owen! How were you not shipped off to some secret government science lab after this?” Rebecca asked, shocked that he’d even attempt something so brash. “How did that not make national news?”

  Owen winked mischievously at Rebecca. “That’s the best part. Once she finally freed herself, she ran out of the classroom to find the principle, and probably call the police. I could hear her screaming about me and killer daffodils all the way down the hall. By the time she returned with the principle, I’d shrunk the daffodils back to their normal size. So, there I was, waiting in my chair, looking as innocent and pleasant as ever. Needless to say, everyone thought she was absolutely bonkers after that.”

  “Oh that’s evil,” Rebecca giggled.

  “Granted, there were probably better ways to handle the situation, but that woman had it coming, I swear,” Owen said with a shrug.