Protected (Book 1 in the Ariya Adams trilogy)

by Anna Applegate

  “Please don’t tell me anymore. I’m sure you just feel awkward that you had a thing with someone I’m related to. I get why you were into me now…”

  He cut me off, his anger evident. “You’re nothing like her. I never felt for her what I feel for you.” I kept walking. I didn’t want to look at him.

  “Please, look at me.” James touched my arm and pulled me to face him so quickly, my breath caught.

  No, this is wrong. I can’t get sucked back in.

  “I … I want to think that you don’t care. I don’t want to know any more.” I looked up at him stuttering from being so flustered by all of this.

  His face was pained. He was struggling with this. For the first time, I could see it. He wasn’t happy, but for some reason, something made him feel the need to make this decision to be apart. Part of me wanted to just shake him and tell him I didn’t care what he thought was important. Didn’t he think this could be something? But, I stopped myself. If this was the choice he was making, what could I do to stop it? We were at an impasse.

  “James, I think you should go.”

  He stepped closer to me instead of turning away. I wanted my muscles to obey my brain that was telling them to storm off, telling them to get away from him. He was right in front of me and touched my face gently.

  “I’ll go. I just need you to believe me that nothing is going on with Emma.”

  He looked into my eyes steadily and I almost forgot everything he had said about us not being together.

  “Why?” My voice came out breathy and he ran his thumb along my jaw line like he had the night of our kiss.

  I shivered. He wasn’t breaking eye contact, and all of the feelings I have for him sprang to the surface. Who was I kidding about letting go of this? It wasn’t possible. My body felt weak and his hands on my face were my undoing. I let myself step into him further and he didn’t back away.

  “Ariya,” he whispered as he brought his head down to mine.

  I closed my eyes. What were we doing? He didn’t want to be with me, but now here, like this, I didn’t want to stop him.

  “Please,” I said back. It was hard even for me to tell if I meant please stop or please don’t stop, but he took it to mean the latter.

  He brought his lips to mine and fire burst from deep within me. What was he doing to me? How was it possible to have these feelings for someone? I parted my lips slightly and it was encouragement for him. He pressed his tongue into my mouth, and I exploded all over again.

  We were moving, and suddenly and my back was up against a tree. We were off the path at this point. His hand tugged at my ponytail, breaking the band that had been holding it, and he buried his fingers into my hair. This was heaven.

  James’ hand ran up my leg, jerking it around him as he shifted his body underneath me. He held me there, pinned to the tree. I obeyed the movement of his hands and wrapped my legs around his waist, locking them behind his back. His whole body pressed in to mine as his mouth relentlessly ravished mine.

  I had to pull back. I would drown in my feelings for him, especially if this wasn’t going to continue towards anything. I pulled my mouth away. The break in our connection felt painful, but necessary. I couldn’t keep going in the direction this was headed right now.

  “James,” I said. He pulled back and looked at me.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” he said, finishing my own thought for me.

  “Yeah.” I nodded slightly. I could feel that my face was flushed and my body definitely was not going to say no to him if he continued. I hadn’t even bothered unwrapping my legs from around him.

  He looked upset at himself for even allowing this much contact with me. I knew if I didn’t pull back from him right away, I really wouldn’t let him stop. Thankfully, I didn’t have to make the decision. I heard a fake voice behind me, and actually felt relief.

  “I’m sorry, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” My legs finally reacted, and jerked away from James. I slammed back down to the ground. I saw Emma standing flawlessly dressed with a phony innocent look plastered on her face.

  “No,” I shifted further away from James. “You aren’t interrupting at all. I was just headed back to the apartment.”

  I didn’t want James to say anything else or for Emma to explain why she was there. I just turned away and headed back to my front door. Part of me was glad she’d showed up because it broke the trance I’d been in with James’ mouth all over me. The other part hated her more for interrupting what was starting out to be the best morning I’d had in a long time.

  I took a deep breath as I walked briskly back to the door. I was going to push all thoughts of what he meant by coming here out of my mind. I wasn’t going to think about him. That was that. I walked back to the kitchen to grab my coffee and try to enjoy my day. Caroline walked out of her room and peaked into the kitchen from the living room.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “Yes, I’m fine.” And, I would be.

  I was confident, strong, and I did not need James messing with me. How dare he let that happen? So what if I had more than encouraged it, I wasn’t 250 years old. I wasn’t the one who should have shown restraint. My fingers brushed my lips thinking about it. Caroline’s voice snapped me back to reality.

  “Ariya, do you want to talk about it?” She seemed to know James had been here this morning, which didn’t surprise me.

  “No, Caroline,” I said, firmly. “I appreciate it, but I don’t want to talk about it. I want to forget about it. Thanks.” Forcefully, I put a smile on my face to show her I really was going to be okay.

  She just nodded and headed back towards her room. I wouldn’t live like this, pining after someone. It wasn’t me. I would figure something else out. I decided to head to the gym to clear my head. Clearing my head was a good thing. Clearing my head would work. I chugged my coffee and decided to focus my thoughts elsewhere from now on.

  ***

  The next week went by quickly and I was looking forward to the Thanksgiving holiday. It was finally time to celebrate things.

  Emma hadn’t really been around much. It couldn’t be because she and James were reconnecting, could it? Gross. As much as he said nothing was going to happen, it was hard to believe when she seemed so determined when saying he was why she was here in the first place. She was a vampire after all, which I knew was part of his criteria. Plus, she was gorgeous. That should give me confidence because we’re related. I smiled to myself. James hadn’t tried anything else since our fluke make-out in the woods. Either he regretted that, or this whole thing really was hard on him, too.

  We were going to go to Riley’s Thanksgiving dinner as a group that evening, so the potatoes had to be made before everyone arrived. Caroline and I were in the kitchen when she started preparing me for who was coming that evening.

  Riley was bringing Helen, the new flame, and James had told Emma she could come along as well. As she relayed the news, Caroline saw my face and said James was more, allowing her to come, than actually taking her as a date. I knew other friends that were going solo, so I wouldn’t be the only single one, thank goodness.

  “So, how many people total are we making these mashed potatoes for?”

  “Riley told me there were thirteen people coming.” Caroline was unpacking everything from the grocery store.

  I burst out laughing and Caroline just stared at me. “Isn’t thirteen an unlucky number for you creatures of the night?”

  She followed me then, joining in my laughter. “Don’t tell me you are superstitious now, Ariya?”

  As our giggling died down, I tried to look at her seriously. “I hope you know that this new revelation of your strength and speed is actually going to come in handy for me. I refuse to mash these potatoes. That’s all you.” I left the kitchen, pouring a glass of wine and hopping onto the bar stool. Then, I leaned back in a relaxed state.

  “Oh no, I don’t use my powers in the kitchen.”

  “Oh, but you will.
You don’t have a choice and I think,” I looked up at her making a sad face, “I think you just need to do it for me. I’ve had such a hard time with everything and I just don’t think I can bear to hold the masher for an hour.” I added a few sniffles as well, just for show.

  “Go ahead and milk this, you brat. I’ll do it. But only for you and you can’t use that excuse more than this once. Are you sure you don’t want to save it for a later date?” she asked smiling at me.

  “I’m sure. Yay!” I laughed.

  With Caroline’s strength, the potatoes took about half the usual time. Caroline poured herself a glass of wine and we started gathering everything we would need to take to Riley’s. The wine took the edge off my anxiety about the evening. I didn’t have to have James in my life, but it still wasn’t going to be fun seeing Emma try to win him over. I don’t think that made me weak to think about it either. It just made me human. Being human right now was a good thing.

  James and Emma met us at the apartment. Putting on my happy face, we all headed over to Riley’s together. I didn’t care if Riley was still upset. When he answered the door, I gave him a hug. I couldn’t help it. I missed him so much. Not being able to talk to him about things felt strange.

  Riley didn’t push me away, but he also didn’t hold me like he used to. At least I got something. Helen walked over and we began chatting. She seemed down to earth. My new mission was going to be to make her feel welcome. The sooner Riley was over me the sooner we could get back to spending time together.

  I talked with her for a bit, asking how she and Riley had met. She was in his major and they met in class awhile back. She’d had a crush on him forever, but thought he didn’t notice her. He deserves someone like that, I thought to myself. He deserves someone who wants him more than anything or anyone else.

  Before dinner, I headed out to balcony to get some air. It had been a crazy semester, but I reminded myself of all the things I was thankful for. I was going through a mental checklist when the door opened and closed behind me. Sneaking a peak, I looked to see who was joining me. It was Nick.

  “Hey, Ariya,” he said.

  “Hey! Having fun?”

  “Yeah, I’m just ready to eat.”

  “You mean...” How was I supposed to put this correctly?

  “Human food,” Nick smiled.

  “Oh? I thought it tasted gross to you guys. Caroline said that’s why she has always just picked at her food in front of me,” I said.

  “It reminds me of what it was like back when I was human. It isn’t necessarily the best, but sitting around a table with food feels ordinary. It reminds me of family time. It’s cool to share that with my new family now, too. I know it probably doesn’t make sense.” He smiled in a small, endearing way.

  “It does.” And it did to me.

  Even with everything going on and Riley not speaking to me, James together with an ex, Devon somewhere supposedly after me, I was still grateful to get to sit around a table with these people who were my friends and enjoy a meal. There really was something powerful about that act. Laughter is the best medicine, they say.

  “Ariya, he isn’t together with her.” Nick turned towards me and clearly had concern in his eyes.

  It was sweet of him to care about me. I knew it was because of my relationship with Caroline. I hoped Nick and I would become close one day. I decided right there he was an amazing man.

  Raising my eyebrow at him, I responded, “It’s okay Nick, he isn’t together with me either. I’m fine. It’s really none of my business.” That was the line I kept repeating to try and make it feel true.

  “I know you are fine. I’m not saying you need to be together, either. I just think it’s important for you to know. There are things James values about humanity. Things like your ability to love, to put others first, and care for people so much. He loves watching people go through the various emotions that situations bring out. When you live forever, sometimes you forget those things. Many vampires end up being out only for themselves because they just want to survive. Loving and caring ends up being hard for many of us since, ultimately, we outlive the things we love and care for.”

  “Emma, she never possessed any of those good qualities, even when she was human. She was always selfish. She hated when the attention was off of her. She thinks she loved, well loves, James, but she just doesn’t want anyone else to have him. She has wanted his attention forever, not just while she was human. Her qualities have never been endearing. James values the good in people so much that he will never be at risk to care for her in the way you are worried he will.”

  “I’m not worried.” But I knew I wasn’t fooling Nick.

  “Well, if you ever were going to be worried then,” Nick knew I was lying. “I just thought you should hear that.” He started to head back in.

  “Nick,” I said turning to face him, before he walked back inside. “Thank you.”

  He nodded, smiling, and shut the door behind him. Taking in a deep breath, I followed suit.

  When we walked in, Riley asked me if I could help Caroline finish getting things ready. I smiled at him, happy to have him talking to me. He smiled back, and I knew in that moment that Riley and I were going to be just fine. It almost made me cry with relief.

  Caroline and I helped set the table, and I must say it looked enormously festive with the streamers, gourds, and pumpkins we had set out. Everyone gathered around. Riley led grace and had each person go around and say what he or she was thankful for. When it got to me, I said I was thankful for friendship and forgiveness. Caroline said life, Nick said love, and Emma laughed inappropriately and said love, too, and nudged James, who did an exemplary job of pretending not to notice.

  When it got to James he said, “I’m thankful for the opportunity to protect the things I care about.”

  His eyes were open and looking at me. I only saw because when he spoke, I lifted my head up. I swallowed hard to try and stop myself from having a reaction to that. I was the only thing he was currently protecting that I knew of. Right? They all were looking out for me since Devon’s stunt.

  Stupid boy. Why couldn’t he just let me get over this? I brushed the thought aside. We both had moments of weakness like this where we said and did things we knew we shouldn’t. Gazes, eye contact, brushing each other in class, kissing in the woods. All of these were the little things that happened here and there that shouldn’t be happening if we had any hope of moving on.

  Grace ended and we all dug in. There was laughing, joke telling, and hockey talk. It was a perfect senior year Thanksgiving. If I didn’t look over at James and Emma, it was almost as if they weren’t even there.

  After the meal, we all decided to play some games together. Helen had cut up pieces of paper for charades, that was the game that was decided on. We broke up into teams. It really was turning into a fun evening, despite my initial reluctance.

  I got up to go to the bathroom halfway through the game. Riley’s bathroom sits around a corner and down the stairs in his house. It was the worst design, putting the bathroom in the basement. There had been plenty of stumbles down these stairs. As I walked down, I heard voices. It slowed me down a minute. It sounded like Riley and James were down here having it out, but what about, I couldn’t guess, so I held still to try and listen.

  “So, who is your date?” I heard Riley ask.

  “An old friend,” James replied curtly.

  “Huh. You know, I thought you were interested in Ariya. At least that’s what it seemed like. I think she thought you were interested, too.”

  “It’s complicated,” James said, his tone giving off a warning to drop it that I would have obeyed.

  Riley didn’t seem to let the hint in James’ voice to drop the subject bother him, though.

  “Not really,” Riley replied back quickly. “I think it’s actually kind of shitty that you would bring someone else to my house for a holiday like this when you knew Ariya was going to be here. She’s going through a lot ri
ght now. I don’t know what, but last time we talked, she was really upset. I kind of thought you were different, and I think Ariya did, too. Not cool, bro.” He paused for a minute.

  “I know it’s not really my business, but she’s my friend and I’m tired of people messing with her all the time.” Riley was sticking up for me because he thought I was hurt. Even when he was upset with me himself, he still stuck up for me.

  “I could say you were messing with her, Riley. If you were so concerned about her being upset, maybe you shouldn’t have dropped her from your life completely.”

  My eyes widened on the staircase in shock. That was mean of James. He knew why Riley had stopped talking to me. He shouldn’t have said that to him.

  “I’ve known Ariya a lot longer than you. What goes on between us is none of your business.”

  “And what goes on between Ariya and me is none of yours. I’m glad we understand each other.”

  There was a testosterone overload happening down here. My eyes started tearing up. I’d be so glad to be rid of these absurd emotions after graduation, like my mom said. Riley came around the corner and saw me. I mouthed, Thank you. He looked at me with a pained expression and touched my arm as he passed.

  I continued on to the bathroom, knowing I would unfortunately bump into James. He came out and looked at me as if he wanted me to say something.

  “Having fun?” I asked wanting to make it sound like I hadn’t heard anything.

  “Sure.” He kept walking.

  If he cared so much about me, he wasn’t letting on now. Maybe he was doing as I had asked when we talked last and letting me move on. At least he seemed like he was, given that he clearly wasn’t going to stop and chat. Good riddance, I thought.

  I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. The window was open and it was freezing. What the heck? Did Riley want us all to get sick? Closing it wasn’t working because it was jammed. Perhaps one of the boys could fix it once I finished up. As I was washing my hands, I saw a shape in the mirror.