Steel Rain: A Military Romance Collection

by A. Gorman

  August 30th

  Dear Justin.

  The duration in which you love doesn't matter so much as the full punch behind the emotion. And if that’s true, I just fought a full twelve rounds and won by a knockout.

  I adore you.

  x Piper

  Chapter Three

  My Life, My Rules

  Caden

  SOMEWHERE BETWEEN eggs and packing the car, I lost what little ground I had gained with Piper. Not surprising, after my monumental fuck-up. Pretty women are my weakness, and get me anywhere near this gorgeous pixie with pink hair and I lose my goddamn mind. One look from her leaves me defenseless in a disturbing, gut-churning kind of way. No gun can protect me from that kind of enemy.

  Having her in my truck magnifies the shit out of that feeling. I’m locked in a three-by-five-foot metal contraption burning with hell’s fire and vanilla, a spice that clings to every part of Piper even after she showers. It’s fucking torture. And so are her legs, bared by the lift of her sundress that rides up when she sits. Thank God for the jean jacket covering the swell of her tits. Jesus. I’ve got a hold of my hair, but even tugging my head halfway out the window doesn’t alleviate the press of my dick against my jeans.

  Dear Cock, let’s recap this situation. She’s nine months’ pregnant. Nine months, my friend and fellow traveler of the world. We’ve seen beautiful, stunning women. We’ve gone without pussy for months before encountering these gorgeous creatures, and you have been on better behavior. What in the fuck is wrong with you? Nine months. I repeat, with child—with Justin’s child. Justin’s girl, you douchebag of a dick.

  It’s official. I’ve lost my mind. First it’s my best friend talking in my head all damn day, then it’s a replay of long-gone missions and the ghosts that go along with them, and now I’m talking to my cock. If anyone finds out, I’ll be institutionalized. I groan and suck in ocean air to dilute Piper’s effect on me.

  No go. Still hard.

  How did this happen? In less than twenty-four hours, I’ve been assaulted with her hands and words and muffins, but still the only thing I can think of is sinking into the sweet depths of her pussy. This is so wrong, so wrong on so many levels. I’m an asshole. This is a known fact, but wanting to fuck my dead best friend’s pregnant fiancée is a new low for me.

  I glance at Piper, bouncing my gaze quickly from toned and tanned skin to Gus, who is just as enamored with her as I am. He’s in her lap, purring like a pussy while she rubs his neck.

  I glare at him, and the little fuck smiles at me. A pup grin so wide his tongue lolls from his mouth.

  “Bastard.” The word slips out, and I look to see if she caught it.

  “What’s that?” Her eyes widen with her question and she’s so unbelievably stunning.

  “Nothing. I was just talking to Gus. You sure you want him on your lap? I can move him. No problem, he can ride in the back if you’ll be more comfortable. You know—the baby, you, comfort. I can move him.” Fuck. I’m an idiot.

  “He’s fine. I think he likes my legs and my belly.” She laughs, but shuts it down fast and looks from me to the road ahead.

  “Piper?”

  “Caden?”

  “Do you want to get married?”

  Her mouth falls open.

  I grip the wheel tighter. “Not to me, Jesus. I can see where that came out wrong. I mean at some point in your future, a long way from now, to someone else. Is that what you want?”

  I lean forward as we pull up in front of the bakery and catch her eye. My heart explodes when she sucks in her bottom lip. “I think so,” she says finally. “But I can’t imagine that, you know? Not now.”

  “Can I be honest with you?”

  She nods. “I gave you a whole lot of my truth, so I hope you’ll be just as direct.”

  “You’re a nice person.”

  “Oh.” Her fingers stumble and then stop their ministrations to Gus’s neck. I ignore his evil glare and keep going in an explosion of facts. “And beautiful, in a drop-dead gorgeous kind of way that I’m a hell of attracted to. Piper?”

  “Caden?” she says in barely a whisper, watching me watch her.

  “I don’t do relationships. I don’t know how, not with what I do for a living. I’m not saying you want one with me, or ever will or would have—this is me trying to explain why I wigged out earlier in a very bad but honest way, because you deserve that and a lot more. Piper?”

  Her smile brings some reassurance that I’m not fucking this up as badly as I think I am. “Yes, Caden?”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  She laughs, and my chest nearly explodes. “Very pregnant, yes.”

  “And if circumstances were different, and you didn’t have my best friend’s baby growing inside you, I would totally fuck you.”

  The sun tips past the horizon at the moment the blush spreads over her cheeks. She glows. Something tugs not only at my dick, but at my heart, too.

  I blow out a breath to finish this up and move on to the next woman who’s about to kill me. I glance at Cara in the doorway of the shop. Her crossed arms and tapping foot are signs I’ll be dead in five minutes. I hope to fuck my sister does not have a knife readily available. Next time call ahead, Lawless. Call ahead.

  I ignore my very angry sibling and turn my full attention to Piper. “I know without a doubt you would need more from me than I know how to give. So me fucking you is not a possibility. Not because you’re pregnant, because Jesus, fuck, you are the sexiest pregnant woman I have ever seen. And I do feel weird saying this, I do, but I’m giving you my honesty right now, and I feel like I have to say it out loud.”

  She nods like she gets it. “Caden?”

  “Yes, Piper?”

  “You make good coffee.”

  I expel a breath. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. And you have some adorable tendencies, like biting your lip and pulling your hair. Your tattoos and smile are killer attributes. You’ve got a cute dog, too.” He whines and rolls around on his back as if in appreciation for the compliment. Lucky bastard. “But Caden?”

  “Piper?”

  “I don’t want to fuck you.”

  Damn. “Okay.”

  “I’d like to enjoy your company and get to know you, not just as Justin’s friend, but as mine. I’d like to have this baby and learn how to be a mother, and balance working with raising a family. And that’s not to say I don’t appreciate you enjoying my ginormous pregnant body. I feel good in a way I haven’t in a long time, so thank you.”

  She takes my hand from the wheel, linking our fingers and damn if I don’t shiver. “Thank you for coming to Lilyfalls to see me. Thank you for helping me laugh again. But please don’t try to fuck me. I don’t think I could handle that right now.”

  “Friends?” I ask.

  “The best we can be.”

  “Piper?” I love her smile. It stuns me and it’s huge while she waits for me to continue. “As your friend, do I get to know where those piercings are?”

  Surprise hits her face, and then she laughs. “Not until you reach best friend forever status, and then I’ll tell you.”

  “Can we play show and tell? That’s so much better.”

  She shakes her head, dark eyes sparkling in the early morning light.

  “I’ll take that as a maybe. Now will you save me from my sister?”

  She glances at Cara. “I’ll do what I can, but you have to know she’s got a wicked temper.”

  “Yeah.” I blow out another breath. “All the women in my life do. But my sister is the worst. She beat the shit out of me every day until I was sixteen.”

  “Why’d she stop?”

  “She didn’t. I just learned to outrun her.” Gus climbs up Piper’s chest to lick her cheek. “Come on, buddy. Stop mauling the pretty girl.” I lift him off her and tip her chin my way. “We good?”

  “Yeah. Thanks for the chat.”

  “Don’t move,” I say, grabbing the door handle. I’m out and around the tru
ck bed to her side in a second, letting the wriggling Gus down before I get to Piper. If God has any compassion, the pup’s face will soften my sister and make the sting of seeing me in Lilyfalls a bit less painful for her and me. “Come on, sunshine. Time to face the music.”

  “Why’s she so mad?” Piper whispers as I help her down.

  “The last time she saw me was in Germany, when the doc threatened to amputate my leg. I was not exactly pleasant then, and I refused her offer to visit when I was in D.C. at rehab.”

  “But why?”

  “Because I didn’t want her to see me weak.”

  I take Piper’s hand, maybe as another resource to soften Cara’s anger, or maybe I just need the extra strength now.

  My sister is not subtle as she glances at our tangled fingers, her eyes narrowing into missiles as they rise to glare at me. “Can you hear what I’m thinking, Lawless?”

  “We shared a womb, Cara, not a brain. I’m a lot of things, but telepathic isn’t one of them.”

  “Not Piper. Just don’t. She’s too sweet for you to stick your dick in and walk away.”

  “Cara, no . . .”

  I cut off Piper with my hand on her lower back and then reciprocate the frustration painted on my sister’s face. “Boundaries are established. Friends, best friends forever if you must know, there will be no fucking. None.”

  Cara juts her hip out, her hand landing there at the same time as she huffs out a breath. “When in the hell have you ever been just friends with a gorgeous woman?”

  “I had an epiphany when I almost met Jesus. My cock can’t establish every relationship in my life.”

  Cara’s face crumbles, but she forgets her tears in the next second and takes a running leap, strangling me with her arms. Piper pulls free, and I catch her bending down to pick up Gus who circles her feet as I wrap my sister in a hug, squeezing through her admonishment.

  “You goddamn beast. If you ever get shot again I will kill you myself.”

  “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

  “For bullet holes, yes. But what the hell?” Cara wrestles out of my grip and then boxes my ear. “No call? No email? Have you forgotten how to use modern technology? We would have come to D.C. to get you and bring you home. You big jerk. Mom’s been out of her mind.”

  “I needed some time to think, get my shit together is all. I’ll make it up to you and Mom. And my little bean burrito. Where is she, anyway?”

  “Willow’s four, Caden. She’s at home with Dax, sleeping. I’ll call in a couple of hours to let them know you’re here. Mom is all you, though. I’d recommend getting to her before half the town knows you’re home. She’ll kill you twice if she’s waiting in line for a ‘welcome home’ hug.”

  I wince. “I’ll stop over after I unload the thousand pounds of baked goods from the truck.”

  “Oh.” She claps her hands together and does a little dance. “You’re going to be good for business. I’ll wrap you up in red, white and blue, and stick you out front like the Statue of Liberty, except with an éclair in one hand and a pie in the other.”

  “Glad I can be of service.” I wink at Piper as I turn to do my duty.

  Twenty minutes later, I’m relaxing at a table. Gus gnaws on a puppy treat the bakery sells next to my crossed feet, kicked out in front of me. I’m drinking the best coffee I’ve had in years. The counters and clear glass-domed stands brim full of every kind of baked good known to man. It’s a hell of a store, with chalkboards and subway tiles, and reclaimed wood that smoothes out the modern edges.

  Piper laughs at a crack from Cara. It catches me off-guard, drawing my eyes to her as she wraps an apron around her neck and when cinched, accentuates the breadth of her stomach and the swell of her tits. I want so badly to look away, to concentrate on anything but her, yet even if I try, I’m drawn back in. She’s a goddamn projectile burning through my atmosphere with enough force to leave me winded. Gus pops up, ears spiking through his strangled whine. I study him and rub the ache from my thigh, wishing like hell I could eliminate the sudden bout of restlessness kicking around in my chest. But it’s all forgotten when Piper groans and pitches forward, grabbing the baby.

  “Sunshine?” I’m up and bent over her back, my hand finding hers. “What’s going on?”

  Gus yips his anxiety, weaving in and out of our legs. I’m so close, Piper’s heat meets mine, and my breath moves the fallen strands of hair next to her ear. She turns her head. The smile that sat so naturally on her lips falters as she latches on to my concern. Muscles in her stomach contract so hard I feel them under our fingers. We hold on together, me watching her as the little guy wrestles into a new position.

  “Braxton Hicks,” she murmurs. “Their strength surprises me sometimes, that’s all.”

  I understand the mechanics of the human body. I’ve studied it, not just beautiful women, but their inner workings. It’s my job, so I know it well. That did not feel like a false labor pain. But I keep my thoughts to myself and watch her for signs of another one, keeping time in my head.

  “So this was a bit of an overreaction on my part?” I ask to distract her from my study.

  “Slightly.”

  We rise and I pull over the chair I was just sitting in. Forcing her off her feet, I grab a water from the fridge and shove it in her face. “Drink.”

  “Yes, boss.”

  “You haven’t seen anything yet, sunshine. Now drink or you will.”

  She salutes me and then takes a deep drag.

  “Caden?” Cara calls from the kitchen door.

  I assess Piper for another second. Pink cheeks, dark but sparkling eyes. She’s the picture of health, so I point to the bottle before I free my sight for my sister. She’s pinched her displeasure into the tight line of her lips.

  “A minute?” Cara nods to the back and walks ahead of me.

  Piper waves me away and then looks to the door as the bell rings, announcing the first customer of the morning. Gus mirrors her movements, like he’s attached to her feet. I lose sight of them as I round the corner to the kitchen, shiny and bright with new appliances.

  “What was that?” Cara huffs, her hand resting on her hip again.

  “Practice labor, or have you forgotten pregnancy symptoms in the four years since Willow was born?” She boxes my ear again, and I growl, “Stop with the manhandling. I didn’t come here to get my shit kicked. If not that, what are you talking about?”

  “This.” She motions erratically between me and the wall, and what’s on the other side of it. “You, Piper. That didn’t look like best friends forever. Goddamn it, Lawless, what are you doing?”

  Her whisper-scream is loud enough that my heart picks up with my heightened pulse. “Nothing. Making sure she’s okay. What the fuck is wrong with that?”

  “I know you, little brother.”

  “Three minutes, Cara, does not make me the little one in this family.” I straighten to my full height to prove it, but she doesn’t back down.

  “That girl was devastated five months ago. She’s mourning and vulnerable.”

  “And I’m not?”

  “Don’t be a dick. It’s not the same; your intentions are not the same.”

  I grab my hair so I don’t grab her arm and shake the sense back into her brain. “Just because I’m home, doesn’t mean I’m whole. My grieving is not so different from hers. He was my brother, closer than most formed by blood. But that doesn’t mean I loved him more or less than she did. My intention is to help us both through losing Justin.”

  “I don’t think so. I see how you look at her.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Like you did Leah, but with more intensity.”

  I cross my arms to block out the verbal blow. Mentioning my high school girl, the one everyone in town thought I’d marry, is a below-the-belt hit, even for my sister. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I do too. In thirty minutes, you haven’t taken your eyes off Piper. You track her steps, grin l
ike a besotted teen when she smiles, stop breathing when she laughs, which has been a rare occurrence until today. Something’s going on with you two even if you’ve yet to acknowledge it. But I’m asking you to rethink your intentions, sunshine. Piper needs stability, someone who’ll be around to help raise that baby. Someone to be a father to him.”

  Take care of her, Lawless. Love her and my kid better than I ever could. Justin. Jesus Christ. I recoil from his voice and knock over a stack of pans waiting for the dishwasher on the counter behind me. The noise startles Cara, and me from the ghost talking in my ear.

  “She’s nothing to me but a responsibility. That’s it,” I ground out the words and stalk to the door. “Someone has to help her, and Justin made me promise I would.”

  “You’ll get her settled and hightail it back to San Diego. Is that your plan?”

  I turn and give Cara the same lethal stare she’s shooting at me. “That’s exactly it. I don’t have room in my life for anything but duty. And when it’s done, I’m done.”

  My life.

  My rules.

  The mantra I have lived by has my lungs screaming for fresh air, along with my muscles aching to stretch. So I do what I’m good at—I run. Run away from the people who mean the most to me, like my mom and sister and Leah when Lilyfalls became too small, my team as things went to shit. There’s not enough air in this place to breathe through the suffocating thoughts. I burst out of the backroom and stop in my tracks.

  Piper, as pale as her white sundress and the apron covering her body, stands just on the other side of the doorway.

  “I wasn’t . . . I didn’t . . . not on purpose,” she stutters, looking away from me and to the floor.

  Regret strangles out my last breath, bringing forth a truth I’ll never be able to take back. “I wish I didn’t have to be here, but one thing I know better than myself is how to complete a mission. When the job is done, so am I.”

  I thought clarity would help me, help Piper. No secrets. I am who I am. But it doesn’t clear my head; it confuses me even more. And the sadness stretching across Piper’s beautiful face is a knife sinking into my chest.