Steel Rain: A Military Romance Collection

by A. Gorman

  My mom always told me I wore my heart on my sleeve, underneath this hard exterior, of course. But I had to leave. I didn’t need any other excuse to stay here, I needed to go to post and get shipped off with my battalion. And I didn’t have time to waste. Bye, mystery girl. And I hope you don’t wake up too sore in the morning.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Gerald

  Three years later

  As I searched the area around me, the coast had been clear. I was surrounded by nothing but tall trees, gravel, mud, and a field of grass. I concealed myself in the dirt and set up my MK11. I preferred to be much higher off the ground, but given the circumstances, I had to make do with what I had available. That was the fun part of the job; I was able to set up anywhere. As I looked through my scope, I spotted enemies approaching the camp. The barrel was locked and loaded, and as I shot a few of the assholes in the head, it felt like more and more were emerging from undisclosed locations. This was my second tour in Afghanistan and I’d never seen this many attack at one time. After this tour, I could return to Massachusetts, but I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go back there. The memories still haunted me worse than seeing a man’s body completely blown to smithereens. I decided to keep to myself and never let myself get attached to another woman. Shelly really fucked me up, and I couldn’t go down that road again. In between tours, I visited with friends, but I hadn’t had a chance to visit my sister yet.

  As I detached the barrel and quickly replaced it with another one, I witnessed my team dropping like flies. Sweat formed on my brow as the hot sun beamed down on me from above. Covered in full combat gear, I had to brave the elements. I couldn’t stop or move or we’d all die.

  Inaudible screams came from behind me and a small device landed beside me. Before I had a chance to move, my life flashed before my eyes. Debris smacked across my face as my body felt like it was flying high amongst the clouds. Am I dead? Is this what Heaven is like?

  ***

  Sara

  When I’d been assigned to triage that day, I didn’t know what to expect. The day could go either way. Slow and quiet, or fast and furious; being in this ward every minute of every hour was a surprise. And that was what I loved about it.

  We’d gotten a call from medevac about a soldier. His prognosis didn’t sound good, but they were able to control his bleeding and the necessary surgery he needed to save the rest of his leg at the Combat Support Hospital would have to be completed, before bringing him here to Germany for further evaluation.

  It was a six-hour flight from Afghanistan to Landstuhl, so I wouldn’t see him until the next day.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Gerald

  Beep.

  Beep.

  Beep.

  I heard an annoying sound before my eyes snapped open. I looked around the room and was surrounded by loud machines and wires covering my entire body. I reached for my nose and felt a tube lodged into it, forcing air up my nostrils, and ripped it out.

  I looked down and underneath the hospital gown I was wearing, I saw one leg, but not the other. I tried to get up and bend, but it hurt like hell. “Holy shit! Where the hell is my leg?” I screamed.

  Doctors and nurses came flying into my room as the machines beside me were beeping just as loud as I’d been yelling.

  “Mr. Forsythe, you have to calm down!”

  “That’s easy for you to say. How can I calm down when I’m missing something I was fucking born with?”

  “I understand. You were injured in combat and unfortunately your leg was blown off and never recovered.”

  “Are you kidding me? So what am I supposed to do now with one leg?”

  “Once you’ve healed, you may be eligible for a prosthetic limb.”

  “Great, now I’ll have one of those fake looking legs. I’d rather limp around with the one I’ve got left. At least it’s real.”

  “That’s ultimately up to you,” the doctor said.

  “Doc, can I interrupt for a moment?” a beautiful nurse said. Her long blonde hair and soft green eyes almost made her look angelic.

  “Sure, Ms. Michaels.”

  “Mr. Forsythe, my name is Sara, and I am so sorry for the traumatic experience you’re going through right now. I know it’s going to be quite the adjustment, but I promise you, things will get better. We’ll do everything we can to make you comfortable.”

  “You sure?”

  “I give you my word.”

  “Does my sister know about this?”

  “Yes, Michelle was informed and told us that when you returned to the States you were more than welcome to stay with her after treatment if you’d like.”

  “What happened to the rest of my unit?”

  “Some of them are here as well, but we’ll talk about that later.”

  “Okay, well, is it okay to get something to eat or drink? I’m starving.”

  “Absolutely. Will a turkey sandwich work?”

  “Sure, and a water please?”

  “You got it.”

  It had been a long time since I’d had someone take care of me. Being on two tours, it was hard for me to trust people. People were always trying to one-up you, or even set you up for death. I’d seen enough bloodshed and that’s how I knew it was my time to leave the service. I didn’t expect to be lying here in this hospital bed, barely clinging to life, but I guess everything happens for a reason.

  ***

  Sara returned with my lunch, and for some reason her kind gesture meant more to me than it should have. “Sara, you didn’t have to do this for me.”

  “I know, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve seen a lot of people come in here and completely lose it, especially after something as…” She paused and glanced down at my leg. “Losing a part of them, but I’ll let you eat, and then I’ll be back to check up on you before my shift ends. Another nurse will be in to refill your medication and change the gauze on your leg. Make sure you let her know if you’re in any pain, and we’ll have to up or change your dosage.”

  “I will. Thank you.”

  ***

  Sara

  “Sara, you know we have staff that can bring him lunch, right?” Mika said.

  “I know, but I didn’t want to overwhelm him. He’s already had a rough twenty-four hours. I didn’t want to over-stimulate him any more than he needed to be.”

  “You like him, don’t you?” Her brown eyes were glossy, and she twirled her long curly hair around her fingers.

  “I’m drawn to him.”

  “Well, be careful. Those types don’t usually take well to being taken care of. That kind of guy, the strong army type, tend to be independent loners.”

  “I’ll take my chances,” I said. Mika was in no way, shape, or form allowed to give me relationship advice. She’d gone through more men than an army combat vehicle.

  As I entered his room, his gray eyes connected with me and I felt a jolt go through my body. Our connection was electrifying and I still hadn’t figured out why.

  I’d dropped off his food, filled him in on a few things, and left the room. I didn’t want to. I wanted to sit with him and try to ease his mind, but I couldn’t. I wanted to sit with him and find out everything I could, but I knew it was too soon. I still had other patients I had to take care of, and it would be frowned upon if I’d given him so much attention and not the others. Especially the one we had to put into a medically induced coma because he wouldn’t calm down.

  Hurry up and do your rounds, Sara. You can come back later.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Sara

  That night had gotten so busy that I was rushed out the door before I could check on Gerald. I felt bad, but I also felt like I was becoming obsessed with a total stranger. It was my job to make sure he was okay. It wasn’t my job to drool all over him like some crazy stalker.

  ***

  As I walked through the door of my one-bedroom apartment, I felt cold and lonelier than usual. My dog, Spike, was at my cousin’s house in Fran
kfurt because I’d been working so much I couldn’t take proper care of him like I should have after his surgery. He had a stick go through his paw and wasn’t quite the same during recovery. I was sure he missed me and I missed him more. He was just a year old German Shepherd, with a beautiful coat of black fur and a few white spots around his eyes.

  I decided to grab a bottle of Pinot out of the fridge and de-stress. Today was a long day and I needed something to calm my nerves before bed.

  I walked on the other side of the marble island and sat on the barstool. My phone pinged in my purse and I reached for it, pulling it out to see a text from Mika.

  Mika: Your boyfriend, Gerald, is flipping out right now.

  Me: Why?

  Mika: All he wants is you. I told him you weren’t here, but he wasn’t trying to hear it.

  Me: Oh no. I’ll come in!

  Mika: Don’t you dare. They’re sedating him, and you’ll see him in the morning. I just wanted to give you the heads-up.

  Me: Thanks?

  I don’t know why she’d tell me that. She knew I’d want to come in, even though I shouldn’t even want to. What the heck is going on with me?

  ***

  Gerald

  “What do you mean she’s not here?” I scoffed.

  “Mr. Forsythe, I can assure you that you’ll see her tomorrow,” the nurse, Mika, said.

  “Can I talk to her? Can you call her or something? I wanted to see her before she left.”

  “I can’t, and I’m sorry, we had a busy night. What’s going on? Maybe I can help?”

  “It feels like my leg is still there and it’s hurting.”

  “You can push the morphine drip yourself, and it should help ease the pain. You’re having what we call phantom limb pain.”

  “You don’t understand. I think the morphine is hurting me. I feel a burning and prickling sensation all over my body.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Forsythe, I’ll page the doctor on call and maybe he can help.”

  As she walked out of the room I completely lost it. I needed help right now and I wasn’t gonna wait a fucking hour to get it.

  “Ow, this hurts so fucking much!” Pain shot through my abdomen, making me clutch onto the side bar of the hospital bed. “Fuck! Make this stop! Just make the pain stop, please!”

  The pain subsided for a moment, but then I kept seeing flashes of my leg and then it’d disappear. “What the fuck is going on? Help me!”

  Next thing I knew a flash of white came by me and I was surrounded by darkness.

  ***

  Sara

  When I came into work the next day all eyes were on me. I hadn’t slept a wink last night, and I figured I must have looked so bad everyone just stared at me, instead of speaking.

  I placed my things into my locker and then returned to the ICU. I grabbed my clipboard and as I lowered it, Karen was standing directly in front of me. “Holy crap, Karen. Don’t do that! You nearly scared me half to death.”

  “I’m sorry, but I think you need to go and see your boyfriend. He was screaming all night for you, until Dr. Shah sedated him. Mika had to leave early because she felt so bad that she couldn’t help him. He begged her to call you and everything.”

  Wow, she’d told me that he had a bad night, but I didn’t realize it was that bad. My stomach flipped at the thought of going into his room. I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I’d receive. I didn’t want him to think I’d abandoned him when I was honestly just tired.

  “I’ll go in there, but not right now.”

  “No. You need to go in there now.”

  “Fine. If I don’t make it out alive, tell my dog I love him,” I joked.

  “I will. And I’m sure you’ll be all right.”

  I took a pull of water from my bottle and inhaled deeply. Here goes nothing.

  His room was located directly around the corner from my station and I took my time heading there. I was trying to think of the right thing to say because I didn’t want to offend him.

  I peered into his room, and he was staring at the door. It almost looked like he was in some kind of a trance. I knocked lightly on the glass. “Gerald?” His hair was buzzed off, but I could see a dusting of brown re-growing on his head. His gray eyes were beautiful with specks of hazel mixed in. His eyes looked so familiar, but I couldn’t recall where I’d seen them before.

  “Hey, you’re back! I knew you’d come back.”

  “How are you?”

  “Better now that you’re here.”

  “What’s going on? What happened last night?”

  “Last night was a bad night. I’d rather not talk about it. I’m just glad you’re here. You’re the only one who treats me like a normal human being. Everyone else treats me like a fucked-up guy who’s going insane over losing a limb. Don’t get me wrong, I am, but not the way they see it.”

  “That’s fine. So, Gerald, where are you from?”

  “Boston, but I was stationed in Natick and yourself?”

  “I’m from Boston too! What are the chances, huh?” That was so weird. I’d only met one other person here who came from my hometown.

  “Wow, so have you been back home? Or were you planning to return?”

  “To be honest with you? No. There’s nothing there for me. My parents are dead. All I have is bad memories from there, and I just…” he trailed off. “Want to go somewhere else and start anew. Maybe I’ll take my sister up on her offer and go to Virginia with her, they have a base close by and they have amazing military housing there, as she’s told me over and over.”

  “That would be awesome.”

  “What about you?”

  I wanted to ask him more about his parents, but I refrained. He was already in a lot of pain and distress and I didn’t want to open an old wound.

  “My parents live in Florida now, so I have no need to go back there either. Nothing but bad memories haunting me too.”

  “Seems we have a lot in common. Going back to Boston seems like a terrible idea for the both of us.” He chuckled. I’d never heard him laugh before and it hit a soft spot in my soul, hearing the rich deepness of his belly laugh.

  “Well, I have some good news for you.”

  “Yeah, what is it?”

  “Well, the new medication you’re on seems to be helping you a lot, so we’re going to treat you for a few more days, before you’re flown to Virginia.”

  “Oh, I didn’t think I’d have to leave so soon.”

  “It’s standard protocol. We make sure you’re stabilized, in minimal pain, and don’t have any infections. You’ll receive some PT here and then you’ll be shipped home and will receive your full treatment there.”

  “Oh,” he said. It appeared as if the word home cut through him like a knife.

  “I can tell you’re a brave man, Gerald. I’m sure you’ll be ready for anything that’s thrown your way.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Gerald

  The nurses came in and tried to teach me how to change my own dressings over my wound, but I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t get over the fact that I no longer had a right leg, and to see the stump uncovered made me feel queasy. They told me there were staples in it, and I didn’t want to see it yet. I told them I’d learn how to take care of it eventually, but for now, every time someone came to change it, I’d look away. Today I was able to look at Sara, and she helped make it all better. She made the realization go away for now.

  Today was the first time in two days that I’d been given the option to get up. I’d been on my back so long it was hard to fathom getting up, especially missing a limb. This was a new process I wasn’t sure I ever could have prepared for. I asked if Sara could assist with my exercises and the physical therapist assured me that she could. I was also going to see a psychiatrist today, to talk about the psychological damage this was having on me. I’d had buddies see a head doctor or a shrink after a tour, but I never thought I’d be seeing one for this, not for my limb being blown completely off. If I
could go back and find the assholes who did this to me, I’d shoot them right in the face. I’d show them no mercy, whatsoever.

  Sara told me they were also going to put me on some anti-depressant medication and that would help with the phantom pains I’d been feeling. I hope when I get out of here, I’m not a complete mess.

  ***

  Sara

  I stayed in the room as the nurses changed Gerald’s dressings. He was having a hard time looking, and I pulled his attention toward me so he could focus on me and nothing else. I wanted him to feel like it was only us in the room.

  “It’s just us. Once they change this, the physical therapist will come in and that’ll be step one on your road to recovery.”

  “Have you ever seen anyone go through this before?”

  “No, I have not. I’ve seen the after effects, like when they come back after surgery, but I’ve never seen it post op this close and personal. But, I’m glad you’re my first.”

  He smiled as the physical therapist came into the room. His name was Brad and he was an older gentleman, but he was in great shape. He was tall, with a long graying ponytail and beard, and a nice athletic frame. This was the first time I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing him work up close and personal.

  “Hey, Gerald. We’re going to start you off with some basic range of motion exercises. Are you ready to try some?”

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. As long as Sara is by my side.”

  I could feel my cheeks heat as everyone who remained in the room looked at me simultaneously.