Chulito: A Novel

by Charles Rice-González

  Carlos rested his head on Chulito’s shoulder.

  “I just get scared, Caret n>

  “I’m not the kind of guy who likes to waste time, so forget about that. I love being with you, and how excited and new everything is to you—going to the pier, walking on Christopher Street and meeting my friends.” Carlos looked into Chulito’s eyes. “Even this. Us sitting on this bench. I never would have thought it could really happen with you, and here we are. You keep surprising me.”

  Traffic started to slow down and since Chulito could see the people in the cars, he thought they could see them, too. “C’mon let’s keep walking.”

  “I know this is tough for you, Chulito. I think about the future, too, but we’re here and now and we just gotta take this day by day.”

  Chulito nodded. He wanted to take Carlos’ hand and hold it, like that young couple he’d seen in the subway, but instead just walked side by side.

  The pier sizzled with activity but Kenny spotted them.

  “So, is Carlos turning you into a pier queen, Chulito? Only kidding,” Kenny said before Chulito could respond, then he turned to Carlos. “Why are you dressed like you’re from Planet Nerd?”

  “Chulito picked me up at work and we just walked over.”

  Kenny pulled at the little tuft of hair he had growing under his lower lip. “He picked you up? I have several questions, but which to ask first?”

  “None of them,” Carlos said. “Who’s here?”

  “The twins are trying to pick up a couple of French-Algerian break dancers. Lee was here, but she flew away—she had to go slave for her family.”

  “Lee is from the Chinese restaurant on Hunts Point Ave,” Carlos explained.

  “From Spring Garden? He comes here?” Alarmed, Chulito looked around. “But you said he’s gone right?”

  “Hours ago,” Kenny said. “And The Hetrick-Martin/Harvey Milk graduating class is over by the water drinking wine coolers and handing out flyers for the Gay Pride Youth Dance.” He showed Carlos a lime green flyer.

  the Gay P color="black">“You going?” Carlos asked.

  “Definitely. It’s gonna be like a second prom and Lady Elektra is gonna perform. You should come.”

  “Maybe.” Carlos looked over to Chulito who shrugged.

  “Something is up with you two. And it’s not my imagination.”

  “Kenny, we’re just hanging. Right, Chulito?”

  Chulito nodded and his scowl spread into a smile.

  Kenny looked Carlos in the eye. “I knew it. I’m not talking to you, Carlos. I hate you.” He started toward the wine coolers, then he stopped about fifteen feet away from them and turned shouting, “I hate you, Carlos!” Then Kenny laughed. “I’ll save you two some wine coolers if you want. I’ll be by the water, and oh, God, I hate you Carlos.” Kenny ran off.

  “He’s a funny dude,” Chulito said.

  “Wanna go get those wine coolers?”

  “No doubt.”

  They waved to the twins as they passed them. They saw Pito and Sebastian with the Harvey Milk senior class, sipping wine coolers out of brown paper bags.

  “So tell me, Carlos.” Kenny handed them raspberry coolers. “It was less than a week since I saw you two, right?”

  Chulito and Carlos nodded.

  Kenny clinked bottles with Carlos. “You work fast, bitch.” “It’s not what you think, Kenny. We’re just friends.” “Oh, cut the shit and spill the details.”

  Carlos turned serious. “Stop with the questions or we’re going to leave.”

  Watching Pito and Sebastian make out, Chulmak>

  “O.K., so then I’ll talk,” Kenny said. “Guess who I finally hooked up with? Kevin. Do you remember him, Chulito? You met him when we were on our way here the day I met you.”

  Chulito nodded.

  “Well, let me tell you, the rumors are true. Nine by seven, he let me measure it. I gagged, literally.”

  “Too much information, bro,” Chulito said.

  “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to excite you.”

  “That doesn’t excite me.” Chulito shook his head and looked away at a butch and femme Latina couple dancing salsa by the water.

  “Well, even if nothing is going on with you two, I don’t care. You look happy, Carlos, and if just walking around with Chulito makes you happy, then so be it.” Kenny hugged Carlos and turned to Chulito. “This guy is my best, best friend. I love him like a sister, and if he weren’t my sister I would be making a play for him myself. And there are many others who would like to sink their claws, amongst other things, into him.”

  “Enough, Kenny,” Carlos said sternly.

  “You need to know, Carlos. Since I came back here with you guys last weekend, David from Washington Heights, Calvin from New Jersey and Alex from Castle Hill, all asked me what was up with you.”

  “The next time those dudes asks,” Chulito said, “You can tell them he’s taken.” He drained the wine cooler.

  Kenny’s mouth opened in mock shock.

  “Chulito, you want to go get something to eat?” Carlos said quickly.

  Chulito nodded and smiled.

  “Now if I was tacky,” Kenny said, “I would say, ‘Oh, great, I’m famished,’ but to show you I’m not, I’m gonna kiss my sister.” Kenny embraced Carlos and kissed him on the cheek, and then he kissed Chulito, who flinched.

  “That’s because you’re family, Chulito.e familylitn>

  Carlos shook his head a sly no.

  “Oh, I most definitely hate you.” Kenny looked at Chulito. “God, I hate you.”

  Chulito and Carlos waved good-bye to Sebastian and Pito and headed to the pizza shop.

  “So, I’m taken?” Carlos playfully shoved Chulito.

  Chulito pretended to trip. Carlos laughed.

  “Damn right you taken. Right?”

  Carlos nodded and grabbed Chulito’s hand. “That means you’re taken, too. No Catalinas. No playin’.”

  “You got me.” Chulito still felt nervous that someone would see them and released Carlos’ grip. “This don’t make sense to me, but I felt like shit when we were apart, and I know I feel so good with you.”

  The two spent the next several weeks meeting in Manhattan. Either Chulito would pick Carlos up at his internship or they would meet at Union Square, where they would shop for music and go to the movies. Carlos took Chulito to the Strand Bookstore, but Chulito preferred hanging out next door at the comics shop Forbidden Planet. Chulito felt like he and Carlos were floating on air as they walked around Union Square Park and ate at sidewalk cafés, staring passionately into each other’s eyes. It didn’t matter if they walked to the East Village and drank iced mochachinos at Starbucks or ate ice cream from Häagen Dazs or just sat silently on a bench in Tompkins Square Park, Chulito felt peaceful having Carlos close to him. Every now and then they hung out at the cube and tried skateboarding with some of the guys there. As they grew closer, they made regular appearances at the pier and Chulito got to meet some of Carlos’ friends from his school, including Andrew, the guy who had dropped Carlos off. By the time Gay Pride rolled around they were one of the summer’s pier couples, like Sebastian and Pito.

  By spending so much time with Carlos, Chulito spent less time with Kamikaze. Whereas before they’d check on a round of clubs and then hang out at one of them or go back to Kamikaze’s place to watch movies and get high, now Chulito would leave when they were finished to meet up with Carlos. Or he would try to take care of whatever business he could during the day to have the late afternoon or early evening to spend with Carlos. Kamikaze knew there was someone in the picture but would just reiterate one of the ghetto’s creeds: “Never pass up your bro for a shorty, because they come and go, but your bro is there for life.” Chulito would nod in agreement, and things would stay cool betwee ay lito prn them.

  To the fellas, his excuse for not being around as much was that Kamikaze had him busy because it was summer and business was heating up. Looney Tunes joked, “She must be ug
ly.”

  Chulito found it fairly easy to navigate the two worlds—that of his neighborhood and the one to which Carlos was introducing him. He was excited about the possibility of being a part of a world beyond Hunts Point. And Carlos felt so right. All the closeness they’d shared growing up had ballooned into a connection that made Chulito feel like he was floating whenever he merely thought of Carlos. Every love song spoke to him and how he felt about Carlos. He sent Carlos texts that simply said: thinking of you, because he was. Chulito was Kamikaze’s boy, but he was Carlos’ man. And Carlos was his man. The first time he said the words out loud he’d smiled along with Carlos, but terror still flickered inside him.

  Gay Pride Sunday was the first day in weeks they didn’t spend together. Carlos marched in the parade down Fifth Avenue with Kenny and the students from the Hetrick-Martin Institute, while Chulito worked the early rounds with Kamikaze. That evening Carlos went with Kenny and Kevin, the twins and their new FrenchAlgerian boyfriends, and Pito and Sebastian to the Christopher Street Pier, which was jammed almost beyond capacity. The Official Pride Pier Dance that their crew, except for the twins, couldn’t afford was in full swing a little further uptown on another pier. They could hear the music.

  Carlos checked his cell phone for messages.

  “Did he call?” Kenny asked.

  Carlos shook his head.

  “O.K., whoever wants wine coolers give me money. One good thing about having a man who’s twenty-one is easy access to booze.” Kenny took the collection and left with Kevin to the store.

  Everyone turned their attention to the fireworks that lit up the sky. Alex, the guy from Castle Hill who’d been asking about Carlos, came up and sat on the railing alongside him to watch the display.

  “How you been?”

  “Good, Alex, and you?”

  “I got a summer job at The Gap. I hear you’re doing an

  internship at theNewYork Daily News. Sounds cool.”

  “Yeah, I don’t get paid, but I get a stipend for lunch and an unlimited metro, so it helps.”

  Alex moved closer to Carlos and their elbows touched. Carlos looked out of the corner of his eye and saw the familiar tattoo of the old school Puerto Rican flag on Alex’s right shoulder, and then moved a few inches away. Alex reached over and slid his thumb along Carlos’ exposed arm. “So you all alone on Gay Pride?”

  Carlos turned toward Alex. His face was smooth and clean except for the small crease on his forehead as he waited for Carlos’ answer. Carlos looked away. “Chill, Alex. I am not all alone.”

  Alex hopped off the railing. “I don’t see your Romeo.” He ran his hand across the front of his tank top.

  Carlos hopped off the railing. “He’s busy.”

  Alex cornered Carlos by pushing him against the railing and placing his arms at either side of Carlos. A smile curled along the edges of his mouth. “You see, if it was me, I would never be too busy for my man on Gay Pride. It’s the one day I would make sure we were together.” He moved in for a kiss.

  Carlos placed his hands over Alex’s heart and slowly pushed back. “Well, that’s you.”

  He grabbed Carlos’ hands and held them. “And you, too, Carlos. I seen you around and I have a hard time picturing you two together. I mean, at school you run the fucking gay club and shit, and you’re walking around with a closeted homo thug. He’s fine and all, but c’mon, I ain’t that bad. I got a legal job, and we go to the same school. To be honest, it’s hard for me not to keep from being all over you. I’ve been wanting to eat you up for the longest.” He kissed one of Carlos’ palms.

  Carlos pulled away. Alex was tough, but there was something soft and pretty about him. Maybe it was his clear green eyes and long black lashes. Carlos had been attracted to him up at school, but Alex never seemed to want to travel that road until now. He looked at Alex, his face changing from bright yellows to hot pinks from the fireworks. “Well, Alex, love is a funny thing. It strikes with some and not others.”

  “Ouch, pa. I’m just expressing myself.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m flattered by what you said.”

  Alex lit up with a smile. “O.K., this is more like it.”

  “I think you’re cool and you got it going on but—”

  “But you into this cat, right?”

  “I got it bad,” he said with a shrug.

  “Damn, I was too slow. I can’t believe you and I live one express stop away from each other but didn’t meet until school. Think some fate shit is at play?” Alex rested against the railing and looked into Carlos’ eyes.

  Carlos smiled. “How come you’re never like this up at school?”

  Alex stood up straight. He was a little taller than Carlos and his black spiky hair made him seem even taller. “Honestly, I’ve been thinking about you since we got back from school. I told Andrew that I was gonna make a play for you now that we back home because up at school you’re, like, untouchable, too busy being Super Freshman writing for the newspaper and involved with this club or that one. Do you make time to get laid?”

  “Not really.”

  “Not really or no?”

  “Not really.”

  “For real? Then we must be fucking in different circles ‘cause word on campus is that you are like Mother Theresa and shit.”

  Carlos laughed as his cell phone rang. When he picked up, Chulito asked, “What’s so funny?”

  Carlos took a few steps away from Alex. “Just the guys bugging out.”

  “Sorry, Kaz and I just got back from Jersey. How’s it going?”

  “We’re at the pier and there are fireworks going off and Kenny went to go buy some wine coolers with Kevin. Are you coming down?”

  “I don’t know. It being Gay Pride, there are probably a lot of people out there, right? Television cameras?”

  “The pier is packed, but there are no TV cameras. That was at the parade. But we could meet in Union Square if you want.” “I don’t think Manhattan is the ticket.”

  “Can you talk? Or is someone around?”

  “Kaz is nearby, but I wanted to call you.”

  “Well, I had a great day. The only thing missing was you.”

  “I’m sorry, Carlos. You know I couldn’t be down there. Why don’t you call me when you get home? We can talk then. By the way, I’m not going to go to Puerto Rico with my mom. I told her that I couldn’t get out of work, but there is no way I can be away from you for more than a day. Today has been killing me. Trust me.”

  “Me, too. I love you, Chulito.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Chulito surprised himself with how easily the words came out of his mouth. Just four weeks ago, before he started seeing Carlos, those words only had meaning when he thought of his mother or Kamikaze. Now he joined the lovers of the world. He had crossed a bridge that he thought he never would. Feeling love from Carlos he experienced what he thought was an impossibility, and he wanted to keep it forever. Tears filled his eyes and he fought to hold them back.

  Carlos didn’t hold back, and the tears ran down his face and into his smile. He didn’t expect to hear those words back from Chulito. Not that he didn’t feel loved by him, but Carlos knew Chulito always kept a part of himself guarded. But he loved how far Chulito had come and hearing those words made him hopeful that they could get deeper and grow closer. “I want to come home right now, just to see you.”

  “I want to see you, too, but I still got some biz with Kaz, so have a good time with the guys and tell Kenny and everybody that I said hello or Happy Gay Pride or whatever. Call me when you get home. I’ll ride the train downtown tomorrow with you in the morning and I’ll pick ya ass up from work, then we’ll hang.”

  “Alright, then I’ll stay here for a little bit longer. I’ll call you when I get home.”

  “No matter what time.”

  “O.K.” Carlos slipped his phone in his pocket and returned in a daze to Alex.

  “Is he opan didnn his way?” Alex asked.

  Carlos sm
iled. “I’m gonna see him later tonight.” Then he leaned back on the railing and sighed.

  Alex shook his head and walked away.

  Chulito flipped his phone shut and walked back to the corner. Papo asked, “So did you break her heart by breaking the date?”

  “She’ll live,” Chulito said.

  “I knew something was up with you.” Davey licked his bottom lip. “We don’t see you no more. You acting all secretive. And look, fellas, he broke a date and he looks like he’s gonna cry.”

  “He got it,” Chin-Chin said. “Catalina didn’t do it to you, but whoever this one is, she got you, bro. It’s written all over your face.”

  The fellas laughed as Chulito scowled. “It’s cool. You know, it’s a new thang. I’m feeling it out.”

  “That’s right. Take your time,” Chin-Chin continued. “’Cause the next thing she will want to be engaged and you too young.”

  “I’m glad you made some time to hang with your boys.” Papo put an arm around Chulito. “You gonna be at the Fourth of July barbecue, right?”

  “Oh, yeah,” Chulito said. “Moms is making her potato salad and her guineitos, too.”

  “I love those shits. Man, your moms is beautiful and she cooks better than my mom,” Papo said. “May he rest in peace, but your pops was dumb. He shoulda treated y’all better.”

  “He just got married too young,” Chulito said matter-of-factly and shrugged. “He didn’t want a wife and a kid. He wanted to be free.”

  “Then learn from your dad and have fun while you young and don’t be getting too serious in relationships,” Chin-Chin said.

  Chulito looked across the street at the Chinese restaurant and could see Lee at work.

  “Yo, I’m gonna go get me some chicken wings. Anybody want some?

  “Nah, Chulito, but check this out, fellas. I was in the Village the other day with m’ girl at her favorite spot, that Mexican place with the giant margarita hanging off it, and guess who I saw?” Papo said.

  “Davey.” Chin-Chin answered.

  “Nah, shut up, stupid. It was little Lee from the Chinese place, La China, and he was all pegao with a viejo. Man, they were slurping each other down, I swear to God,” Papo said holding up his hand as if he were taking an oath.