Love Letters

by Geraldine Solon

  I hope you’re not angry with me for taking so long to write you. I was going through a grieving process, and needed time to think. I’m still trying to accept what happened. What hurts me most is that I never had the chance to say goodbye to her. I haven’t stopped thinking about you and how special our relationship is. I can hardly wait ‘till I see you again. In your last letter, you said you would wait for me and agreed to marry me. This means a lot to me, Suzanne.

  Now, I lay on my pillow before I sleep, it’s your face I see. It’s your soul I long to be with. I know in my heart that we belong together. I can hardly wait to see you.

  I will love you forever.

  Un abrazo muy fuerte,

  Ignacio Rodriguez

  September 1968”

  “Boy is he emotional,” Josh said.

  “And very sentimental.” Chloe took a sip of her beer.

  Greta licked Josh and stayed beside him as he opened the eighth letter. “This is a shorter one.”

  “Suzanne my love,

  How are you doing? I hope you received my previous letter. I haven’t heard from you. I hope you have forgiven me for not writing sooner. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Your eyes, your lips, your hair, your smile—everything about you is beautiful.

  You are my inspiration. You gave me clarity and purpose to follow my dreams. More than anything, you gave me hope and love. My life has more meaning now because of you. There are so many things I want to tell you when I see you. We have a whole life to live, share and grow. My love for you is stronger than ever was. I can’t wait till we’re together again.

  Please write to me soon. Your letters have kept me alive all this time. Your love for me has made me strong and patient.

  I love you always.

  Un besote grande,

  Ignacio Rodriguez

  October 1968”

  “Do you know what this means?”

  “What?” Josh asked.

  “He stopped writing her for three months, so she probably thought he wasn’t serious, and then she met my dad,” Chloe said, her hands folded together at her chin.

  Josh was walking around the room, too restless to sit down. “Yes, but in his letter he explains why he stopped writing.”

  Chloe stood up and began pacing the room beside him. “I don’t know, Josh. Maybe she gave up hope.”

  “She could have broken up with your dad and married this guy,” Josh said. “I mean it was clear that she loved him.”

  Chloe shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, but I know the way my mom thinks. She’s a realist. She had to make sure he wasn’t taking her for a ride. Maybe Dad was there at the right time and place. He was stable, and much older than her. Women back then needed their husbands to take care of them. What future would she have with this man, when they were both just starting out?” She could hear her mom’s words about Nina Taylor.

  “I agree with you, Chloe, but on the other hand, life is about taking risks and if she loved him, why did she let him go?”

  “Maybe she felt trapped, and had already committed to my dad. I know my mom; she would rather do what’s right than create waves. Her parents were very strict, and they wanted the best for her.”

  “I have to say, she did the right thing,” Josh said, gazing at her intently. “After all, you wouldn’t be here today if she hadn’t married your dad.”

  Chloe could feel her cheeks flush. “Let’s read the last one.” Once again they settled on the couch.

  Josh opened the final letter and out fell a photo so old and faded that Chloe could just make out Ignacio’s face. She looked at the back and read “November 1968.” It was a single photograph of Ignacio in his uniform, and probably the only photo Suzanne ever had. Despite the worn image, she could see he had olive skin and dark brown hair with a distinct cleft chin. Very handsome.

  “Suzanne my love,

  I haven’t heard from you in ages but when you receive this letter, our ship should be ready to dock in San Francisco. I hope you have received my previous letters and, as promised before, I will be there to see you. San Francisco is our last stop before the ship returns to Peru.

  I wrote a long letter to my father about you, and our plans to go to New York together to pursue our dreams. I thought he would be against my plans, but instead he was happy and excited for me. Peru doesn’t have the opportunities America has.

  My father gave me the number of a distant uncle who lives in New York and might be able to help me. My father has saved up enough money for me to go to college. I promised to pay him back, and told him to visit us in New York when we’re settled.

  My three year term of service for the Peruvian Navy will be over by December. I have applied for a student visa to study Architecture in New York and just received the news that I’ve been approved.

  It seems that we’re going the right direction. This is a whole new life for you and me, and I’m counting the days ‘till I see you again. We’ll be arriving on December 29 at dusk—the day before your birthday. I will wait for you at the San Francisco Pier from dawn ‘till dusk. I will have a red ribbon in my hat so you can recognize me. With luck, we will celebrate the first of many birthdays together. I look forward to celebrating Christmas, Valentine’s Day and every single day with you.

  I love you forever,

  Ignacio Rodriguez

  November 1968”

  “Ignacio really loved her,” Josh said, reading the last word.

  “I know. It makes you think, doesn’t it?”

  “I wonder if Suzanne ever showed up,” Josh said.

  “Obviously not, because she would have ended up with him.”

  “Right, but do you think he went to New York and became an architect?”

  “There’s so much we don’t know. But I do know my mom didn’t become a Broadway actress.” She held a pillow to her chest. “I feel betrayed. Why didn’t she ever tell me? It’s like I don’t even know her. This probably explains why she’s been so bitter all this time.”

  “Do you think she tried looking for him?” Josh asked, putting the letters inside the envelope.

  “If Ignacio is her true love, then she would have never forgotten him.”

  “You mentioned that she’s on a trip to South America, right? Well, of course she’s looking for him. Have you tried Googling him?” Josh asked, holding Greta on his lap.

  Chloe showed him the printouts. “I searched for a boat called Natividad in 1968, and it took me to that day when they docked in San Francisco.”

  Josh looked at the printouts. “There must be a way to locate him. He probably decided to return to Peru when your mom didn’t show up. Let’s try searching him in Yahoo International. They must have a Peruvian site.”

  “I’ll bring my laptop down,” Chloe said, walking upstairs.

  “Are you sure I’m not keeping you up?”

  “Not at all. I’m enjoying every minute of this,” Chloe said, as she came down the stairway with the laptop. Josh smiled. She sat on the carpet, putting the laptop on the coffee table. “Okay, here’s Yahoo Peru, but it’s in Spanish.”

  They read articles about Peruvians who had immigrated to Japan to seek a better life. They read the history of Peru and the famous Machu Picchu, but couldn’t find an Ignacio Rodriguez.

  “I give up. I don’t think we can find him this way. You might as well talk to Suzanne,” Josh said, rubbing his eyes.

  “You’re right, but that’s a week and a half from now.”

  “Listen, I had a great time,” Josh said, standing up and walking toward the door.

  Chloe opened the door and a strong gush of wind blew in. “I did too. Oh geez, it’s cold.”

  “What am I going to do with Greta? She doesn’t want to let me go.”

  Chloe laughed. “She really likes you and she isn’t…”

  “She isn’t what?” Josh frowned.

  Chloe hesitated but ended up telling him. “She isn’t like that with everybody. She hates Richard. He wants me to
get rid of her when we get married.”

  Josh hesitated before speaking. “We’re friends, right? And you can trust me,” Josh said, holding the front door. She nodded, uncertain where he was headed with this. “Why do you let Richard walk all over you like that?”

  Chloe squirmed. “I don’t. It’s just that Richard doesn’t like dogs, and he said when we get married and move to his place that I can’t bring Gre—”

  He put his hands up. “Hold on here, you mean to say he told you that he doesn’t want Greta? And you’re selling this house?”

  Chloe looked down. “Well, for starters, Richard finds the house too old and big for us. He wants us to live at his place … in the city.”

  Josh gently lifted her chin. “And what about your job?”

  Chloe swallowed hard. “Richard doesn’t think it’s a real job. He wants me to stay home like his mom and have kids right away.”

  “Why is it that all I hear is what Richard wants? What about what Chloe wants?” His voice was firm.

  Chloe kept quiet. I’ve told him too much for one night.

  “Do you want to hear what I think? I think that you have a wonderful job and you’re good at what you do. I saw the smile you brought those ladies today at the shop. You gave them the confidence you have.”

  Chloe blushed. “You saw that in one day?”

  Josh nodded. “Chloe, you’re the type of person nobody can ever dislike. If somebody dislikes you, it’s because they’re jealous of your confidence and personality. You couldn’t care less as long as you know you’re not hurting anybody.”

  Wow, he seems to know me so well. I’ve never heard Richard say that about me.

  “And this house belongs to you. Your parents gave it to you and you’ve lived here your whole life. Wouldn’t you want your kids to experience this? I bet even your grandkids would love it.”

  Chloe didn’t say a word, but tears filled her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Chloe. I hope I didn’t hurt you with what I said, but you’ve known me to always say what’s on my mind. I hope this Richard guy appreciates you for who you are.”

  “Thanks, Josh. I needed that.”

  Josh gave Greta a big kiss. “I can’t believe anybody would want to give you away.”

  Greta gave a small whine and ran to Chloe’s bedroom.

  They both laughed as Josh stared at Chloe. She looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

  “Listen,” Josh said, clearing his throat. “This Saturday is the Maverick and you know that Phil is one of the contestants. Matt and Nicole are coming. Would you like to join us?”

  Chloe’s heart began pounding. Is this a date? And how could she even think about a date when she was slated to marry Richard? She felt so confused.

  Josh seemed nervous, waiting for an answer. “So can you?”

  “Saturday?”

  “Yeah.”

  Why did it have to be Saturday? “Um, I wish I could, but Richard’s parents will be in town from Atlanta, and we’ll be having lunch with them.” Maybe I can come afterward.

  “Oh,” Josh said, looking disappointed. “Maybe next time.”

  Chloe nodded. Did I just blow it?

  He gave her a hug. “All right, goodnight, Chloe.”

  “Goodnight, Josh,” she said, her palms sweating.

  Chloe shut the door, and then leaned her back against it. I’d rather be at the surfing competition with Josh, than with my soon-to-be in-laws. She knew that sooner or later she had to make a choice to either forget about Josh or leave Richard. She closed her eyes and laid her head against the door. I never expected life to be this complicated.

  Chapter Seven

  Chloe laid several outfits onto her bed, one cobalt blue, one cerulean green, and the last one a dark navy. What am I going to wear? Chloe was meeting Richard’s parents today and she wanted to make a good impression. She took one look at the cobalt blue dress and put it back on her closet. Richard’s parents had just arrived from Atlanta the night before and she knew that whatever she wore wouldn’t be good enough for Richard’s mother who was known to scrutinize everything about her. Chloe sighed.

  Richard’s father, also named Richard, whom Chloe referred to as Senior, was quiet and while Richard’s mother, Dorothy, was definitely a Martha Stewart replica. She cooked, sewed, beautified the garden, and did crafts while raising eight kids. All of Richard’s brothers and sisters had stayed in Atlanta near their parents, while Richard, being the eldest, ventured out to San Francisco.

  When Chloe met Dorothy for the first time, she reminded her so much of her mother. Suzanne was the glamorous socialite who spent time wining and dining with friends, or travelling around the globe, while Dorothy was the domesticated housewife who cooked, cleaned and did laundry. Chloe couldn’t imagine her mother and Dorothy in a room together. They would probably suck each other dry.

  Chloe had longed for a tight-knit family like Richard’s. That’s what had attracted her to him in the first place. Now she wasn’t so sure, she decided with a frown as she pulled out several dresses and laid them on the bed.

  When Dorothy asked her if she knew how to cook on their first meeting, Chloe had joked that she didn’t even know how to fry an egg. Richard had immediately nudged her under the table. It was obvious by Dorothy’s expression that she was horrified. Chloe and her parents had a full-time housekeeper who also cooked, which is why Chloe had never learned to do anything.

  When Suzanne brought their housekeeper to San Rafael, Chloe found herself ordering takeout every now and then. Richard had to explain to his mother that Chloe had grown up with a full-time housekeeper who cooked. Dorothy didn’t bother asking about the laundry.

  Chloe shook her head. I’m never going to be like them.

  Her thoughts shifted to Josh who Nicole believed was an angel by comparison to Richard. As promised, Josh had referred Nicole to his friend who agreed to help Nicole’s mom refinance her home and deal with the bank. Unlike Richard, who hadn’t even bothered to help Nicole, Josh had compassion and was true to his word.

  After trying different outfits, Chloe decided to wear her sunflower sundress with a navy blue cardigan in case the weather turned cold. It’s spring, and maybe if I’m dressed like this Dorothy will think I’d make a good housewife.

  She kissed Greta goodbye after applying her bronze lipstick and perfume, then walked out to the car. As she climbed into her Jetta and started the engine, she thought about Richard’s parents. She had taken today off which, being a Saturday, was their busiest day. Her palms were beginning to sweat as she pictured Dorothy eyeing her from head to toe. Then her thoughts shifted to Josh. Frankly, I would rather be at the Maverick now.

  She arrived at the Ritz hotel and parked her car. She looked at her watch, glad that she had fifteen minutes to prepare herself before meeting Richard’s parents. As she entered the hotel’s Novou restaurant, she saw Richard and his parents sitting at the corner table to the right and sighed. Dorothy, no matter what you say, it’s not going to upset me.

  Richard stood up to give Chloe a kiss. Then the white haired Richard Senior who wore glasses and had his table napkin wrapped around his neck like a bib gave her a big hug. I can handle Senior. It’s Dorothy I can’t handle.

  Dorothy was dressed in a beautiful green dress with a matching straw hat, her blonde hair curled to perfection. As she rose, she removed her glasses, her green eyes inspecting Chloe. “Oh darling, you look lovely. Come here and give me a big hug.”

  Chloe leaned forward to embrace her.

  “Did you grow taller?” Dorothy asked, looking at her from head to toe.

  Chloe surreptitiously put a finger to her nose. She couldn’t stand the heavy perfume Dorothy wore. Just because you’re a lot taller than me doesn’t give you the right to rub it in. “Oh, it’s the sandals.”

  Dorothy looked first at Chloe’s hands, then at her feet. “Your nails are so pretty. Did you do that yourself?”

  “My friend works in a salon. She gave me a foot scrub, and
painted my fingernails and toenails,” Chloe said, taking a seat.

  Dorothy’s face turned sour. “Your friend works in a—”

  “Mom, what would you like to order?” Richard interrupted.

  Thanks honey.

  Dorothy continued to stare at Chloe’s fingernails while looking at the menu. “How much did you spend to have your nails done?”

  “Mom, can we order now?” Richard insisted.

  “Very well, what is their specialty here? They don’t seem to have much of a selection. I cook more than this on a regular basis and I don’t own a restaurant.”

  “Whatever looks good, just order it,” Richard Senior said, chewing his bread.

  “Um, would you like me to handle the ordering?” Chloe suggested. “I’ve tried everything here, and I know what’s good. This is our favorite place.”

  “Goodness, I’m not sure I trust you to order when you can’t even co—”

  “Mom! How many times do I have to tell you that Chloe had a full-time cook and housekeeper,” Richard interrupted. “And just because she doesn’t know how to cook doesn’t mean she can’t tell what tastes good.”

  Chloe gave Dorothy a wide smile. I’m going to play your game, Dorothy. “That’s okay Richard. After all, your poor mom had to raise eight kids. We should get her a gift certificate to a spa,” she said.

  Dorothy gave her a dirty look. “Order what you like.”

  Chloe ordered everything she knew to be good on the menu from appetizers to desserts, and in the end it was Dorothy who enjoyed the meal.

  “Impressive, Chloe. You do know how to choose good food.” Dorothy lifted her wineglass as if in toast, then sipped her red wine, but the emphasis on the word choose was not lost on Chloe.

  “Well, for me it’s more of a gastronomical experience since I spend time trying different types of food,” Chloe said, refusing to be pulled into the rivalry.