by Barone, Cenz
Baxter by comparison with Laura had a small group of friends, hardly enough money for anything and never had any idea what he wanted to do with his life, despite being in university for nearly 2 years, but he had in all of that time not made any close connections with anyone or done anything crazy, he came from a background of haves and have not’s, he was considered generally boring and dull by his peers, this was how he saw himself while Laura in university socialised in all of the big scenes, enjoyed a wide network of friends, came from a well off family and was a part time model. Yet now Baxter still with the shadows of his past life which hung over him watched Laura and like her tried to locate a new car for the group near the supermarket to take more items from within it. Laura shuffled along and saw all were new cars but she struggled to find what to pick. Both heard more gunfire from the supermarket way, but did not react heedlessly because they were oddly confident the group they were with were taking care of it.
Laura’s life compared to Baxter was not really compatible, they were two different people with two different lives, yet in this entire nightmare there was a similarity between them, a kindred spirit almost which was something they had in common which had brought out of each a thanks to this diabolical situation, he was smitten by her yet he was driven by a need to improve on his standing as a man and was obsessed by upping himself in the social scale. A scale he viewed as very important, that’s why he risked his life in the police station and volunteered for the most dangerous of jobs, to eliminate an image he was all to conscious of, even though he had far exceeded himself up to this point. But this was all mainly in Baxter’s head.
“Laura” he softly said her name and she turned to his face “Do you...” he paused and then looked down bringing his eyes to meet hers once more, he was unsure how to say this “Do you have a boyfriend?”. Laura looked at him, and though they had joked a few times preceding this she felt bothered it was being done now, so she answered seriously “No, I broke up with my boyfriend 5 months ago. Why, do you ask Baxter, do you have a boyfriend?” she teased him and was trying to make light of his advances, which she knew he was attempting to do, but she just thought he was quite sweet yet wondering where this was going especially with where they were right now and what they were tasked to do, both continued along the car store, alert to their environment and conscious of the gunfire near the supermarket which receded.
In a serious tone Baxter replied “No I don’t have a boyfriend, I am not really into that kind of thing” as Laura found him cute due to how defensive he became, but Baxter felt like she was mocking him. So she answered “I am joking around Baxter”. As Baxter watched her, unsure was he what to say, he felt foolish again. So she waited for him to reply, eventually he did and he said over the silence “Well, I just want to say...” but Laura interrupted him and said “Baxter I hope this is not you asking me out, here of all places, because if this is you asking me out on a date then I don’t know what to think” Laura was again joking around with him, not treating his approaches seriously.
Baxter though shook his head and he was ashamed and embarrassed as he answered her and said “Oh no, I would not do that here. I was just trying to get to know you”. Laura nodded to him and turned around to face him, she then said “Get to know me, is that your line. Previous boys who have hit on me, have said similar things, but never used it so directly as you are, you are very direct, aren’t you a diehard romantic” Laura giggled, although harmlessly and she meant no offence as she went on and said “No those boys who chased me were more like exaggerating so much about themselves, be it like they had a mansion, which daddy paid for, or I have a fast car, which mammy paid for, or let me flex this muscle for you, which the guy with the pills down the gym paid for” she giggled once more.
Then she went on running her hands across the vehicles, conscious finding a suitable car, her weapon held close by, just like Baxter who followed up behind her. Laura said “They would really make a lot of efforts to send me pictures of themselves online, usually a private message of their recent session in the gym as if that would swoon me” Laura felt at ease and spoke freely by saying “You know my last boyfriend, I broke up with him because he was not treating me right. He was just an asshole because he managed to sleep with me he was all like, oh I have done her so I guess I will stick with her until the next cute thing comes along. Fucking asshole” she muttered.
He listened as Laura went on, which she did and she said “I would like a boyfriend to be more than that, a decent person, maybe someone with an edge, not someone who just likes to dance around and wave his ego around and then making me feel like a trophy, as if he won me in a competition of bimbos and sexy dolls, you know what he said my last boyfriend and why I broke up with him. He said and I heard him saying this to his friend on the phone. He said that she has got a great ass, she is great in bed, and she knows how to please a man, shame she has no depth to her”. Laura now sadly looked at Baxter and pointed to her makeup riddled face from the party which only had shades left but which she tried to apply during the maelstrom since the chaos happened. Laura added “That’s all I am to some people, and even now I cannot think beyond it. I am just a dressed up doll who goes into the world to make everyone else feel happy, I live up to the image though I suppose. Part of me enjoyed it, the attention of men drooling over me, gets me free food and drinks and also well meaning sorts going out of their way to do things for me. My father instilled this into me since I was small, I am his princess and people generally bent over backwards for me, why I don’t know. Maybe like you are now, you see me a girl who is good looking, and I know I am good looking but is that all I am Baxter, am I just someone to look at, not someone to get to know”.
Baxter was floored with this honesty and bluntness from Laura as he said pitifully “I want to get to know you, it is what I just said” he was pleading almost and Laura laughed a little bit as she replied “You’re too cute, but so typical of all those other men, wanting to make a move on me at the right time. Sometimes people would say horrible things to me, thinking I must be easy in private, my dad’s friends or my boyfriend’s friends subtly hitting on me. And occasionally I would hate them and why I dumped my boyfriend is for that reason, he was just like one of those sleazy guys. It’s all well and good him slating me as a peroxide dimwit but discussing intimate details of our relationship and what we do together in private. It’s not classy and Baxter you’re not being classy either, I can see through most things men do and I see through you. I am not just a body” she looked at him seriously and sternly.
Baxter was annoyed at her and she moved from teasing to serious so fast but now she seemed quite severe. Baxter now stated “I don’t know what you think of me Laura, we were in the same university class for many semester and in all that time I have remembered everything about you, your hair style changed slightly every few months, and your taste in music which you discussed with your friends, which I overheard alternated, or your relationships issues which I also overheard. Not intentionally but I just heard it or it passed through the grapevine. I saw your awards and accolades printed on the notice board because you are more than your body and I found your stories interesting when I overhead you speak in class and I generally enjoyed your company however brief it was, and even if you don’t remember and even though you never spoke to me directly, or at all. You were a person I felt I would like to get to know that’s all. You seemed interesting, and here I am, thinking university will soon be over and there you go, you will just be another person I met in life but did not know, instead I am in this abandoned car shop in the early hours talking to you and only you, no friends, no university, no lectures, nobody else around us. Wanting to get to know you, I am just making small talk, as inexperienced as I am with girls and people like you. I admit I am, I am not exactly the most socially of confident of guys, but fuck it, the dead are rising to eat people so I will just say it”.
Laura kept her eyes on him, finding his words moving as he went on and
said “Why are you distancing yourself from me, thinking I am bad or not good enough, or suspicious about my motives. Thinking I want to take advantage of you in this moment because I don’t, I wouldn’t even know how to take advantage of someone even if I wanted to. I do find you attractive Laura, I admit that and if by some slither of hope you find me attractive I will love that but it’s just a small part isn’t, I was hoping we could just talk, like friends. I was honestly just trying to make small talk with you, with no ulterior motives and just curious about how you are and where you stand, in general”.
Baxter looked very uncomfortable, feeling very embarrassed at all he had disclosed, and also what Laura had said about what she thought was concerning his motives. So Baxter over the awkward silence, because he felt his nerves creeping up and his cheeks slowly getting reddened and he did not wish for them to be seen burning red, so he said angrily “Let’s just get this fucking car and go back to the group. I am sorry I did not mean to offend you or make you feel like a piece of meat, I won’t do anything like that again I promise. But I would never ever imagine taking advantage of you”.
Baxter turned around and made his way to the inner shop, Laura felt quite awful at her own outburst, but it was a mixture of her own playful personality and her own stresses and strains. Laura knew enough she had pushed it too far and Baxter was hurt and embarrassed, and it was a sincere attempt by someone who just wanted to talk to her. She knew men she encountered often thought quite negatively of her due to her looks which was because she was pretty, but only the ones who presented themselves in a showy mode, she watched Baxter walk away but he was feeling pretty pissed off, mainly at his own manner, he did not blame Laura.
Laura called out “Baxter wait” but Baxter ignored her as he replied not wishing to turn to face her as he said “Just help me find the key’s, I am going in the back, I am sure the keys are within there, it will be easier to find a car when we can find the keys, we can click the keys to see what ones are here”. She called him again, but he totally blanked her and so she felt ineffective and hopeless, and she cursed herself that she could jump to such assumptions by being selfish and self-involved. Why did she say that to him she thought to herself, because Baxter was not like those other guys, for one he was a peer she hardly knew but who had helped her and saved her as well as looking out for her in this crazy situation they had found themselves in. Laura whispered to herself, cursing “Stupid, why am I so fucking stupid”.
After acknowledging she was wrong to herself, she followed Baxter into the back of the car shop and he turned around facing her as she stood there behind him, she said hopelessly “Baxter please stop”. Baxter tried to brave a smile and he shyly said “I should not have approached you like that, I mean in the circumstances, I honestly was not hitting on you or trying to, I was just making small-talk Laura, it is not you it was me I wish I was...” Laura interrupted him and stated “No Baxter. It’s me! I am so tired and so stressed. What I brought up was my own issues with how I am used to men acting like pigs around me, you would be surprised by how they act around me I am just...” and now Baxter interrupted him and stated “How could anyone treat you like that, I never would imagine it. I just want to be nice”.
As Laura told him with a genuine smile “Baxter you can, why would you want to be like that to me” and then Baxter came to her and said “You know Laura, we have been classmates for so long and I don’t think we have ever spoken as much as we have been right now, I mean one on one. I wanted to, I wanted to approach you before but...” he paused and looked upon her and shook his head and said “No, forget it Laura, what I am saying is silly”.
Laura objected as she pressed him and said “No its not silly, just tell me, please” but Baxter smiled feeling a little embarrassed and saw how her eyes were on his, he felt self-conscious of his crush as he answered “You struck me as someone interesting and someone who I would like to know like I said but as a friend. I admit maybe something more but that is not what I seek. I recall seeing you with different friends and boyfriends. So I was just use to being ignored and put it down to my own thoughts, now after all this. I got the courage I never had to ask you out, only where to go, maybe to a car store. I don’t know what I am doing Laura. I really am confused, right now”.
Laura smiled at him and she thought how sweet he was, and how mixed up he was about her, she knew though deep down she never would have known him had it not been for this fallout in society that had happened. Baxter stated “I don’t think I ever stopped thinking about you. I am not afraid to say it, after what has happened with everyone else, seeing the death all around me. I don’t think I care what you think, of course I do care what you think but now I have no social consequence or fear of being judged, like saying something and feeling humiliated. I just wanted to be there for you, to be on the other end of the line, the other end of the conversation and to be your friend and maybe more. I kind of loved you from afar, it’s so embarrassing to say but you just made me happy and you did not even know it. You were just there” he looked at her amazed he was disclosing all of this as he said, after losing his courage “It does not matter”.
Laura watched as Baxter was within the frontal reception area of the car shop and was shuffling through the keys, he remarked “Hey I think I found the keys” he saw a basket under the top layer of the reception desk and found keys with a piece of spring and a little label with number plates. Laura had no idea what to say at this point and Baxter brought up the basket placing it onto the desk and said “We should take a handful and press the open button, see which one responds to it, just like in the underground car park” but Laura stood there unsure what to say or do.
Baxter now made his way towards the exit but then Laura stood in front of him as she finally said to him, Baxter eager to get out, her own silence making him further uncomfortable. Laura stood really close to him between the desk and the motion sensor doors to the car shop car park. Laura said “That is such a nice thing to say, if you want to be a friend, or something more, let’s start here, new beginnings right” and Laura leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Baxter felt her kiss and looked at her with his eyes wide open through the glasses on his face as he studied her, he then muttered “A friend to me” he nervously mouthed repeating Laura’s sentiment.
Eventually Baxter managed to smile and hugged her as she felt the warmth and an affection she secretly longed for from her own boyfriends in the past, yet this peer of hers was giving it all out of his heart. Baxter’s hug was platonic and he was so sweet, as Laura felt her hands open to it on either side taken aback to placed her hands over his back, but Baxter hugged her tightly. Then Baxter said with pleasure “Laura, this is all I want, just to hold you, to touch you, to pull away from you and see you. That’s all”. But now Laura held him closer and she embraced him, leaning her face on his shoulder, both of them hugging each other.
She now replied “Just hold me Baxter, let’s pretend this nightmare is not happening and we are on a date somewhere nice, a restaurant or a quiet park after talking and taking a walk through the woods. Maybe we are on a beach at night. I love nightly walks on the beach, let’s just act like we are together and alone with nothing else that matters”. A tear rolled down her eyes as she felt his warmth and care, his compassion. Baxter squeezed her tightly and wanted to feel everything from her but both of them were embracing each other in light of the nightmare they were experiencing right now and those humane doubts and insecurities each had shining through and each providing a bandage to their own internal emotional wounds.
Five minutes later and back outside the supermarket the group had finished up the loading of the camper van Kenny stood watching the scene as he remarked “They are still coming, why are they so slow though, they are slower than usual” he thought and shared with the group, watching a group of dead things up ahead. “Where are Laura and Baxter” asked Melissa with concern. “Give them another few minutes” Nancy said to Melissa as she like the others looked aroun
d as they watched the dead things in the distance get closer. “We have to work out the next stage” Cherie told Nancy, and then Kenny stated before Nancy could speak “The downs are going to be perfect Cherie, just trust in that” Kenny then turned around facing Nancy and Melissa as he said “The downs will be fine”. Kenny pointed to a large forest in the distance as he said “Over there, there is about 300 square miles of forest and endless groves. Just look at the map, we can all settle down and be hidden within it and unseen like ghosts. As long as we head for the middle of it, we will be fine”. Elise stared over at the direction where Kenny was pointing and Elise said “Why not” as she added “Come on all of you think, it is why we are here. We have the means now” she said the means in relation to not just the camper van but the items they had just taken from the supermarket they had raided in this small village.
Kenny himself had looked at the map previously and discussed it with Nancy during their drive into this small village and both like the others were in agreement about it. So Kenny was imagining like Nancy was about what the woodland would look like and how they would approach it. They were all just waiting now, conscious of Laura and Baxter not appearing and also the dead things moving so slow in the faraway distance. But before anyone could say anything else and before anyone could mention going to look for Laura and Baxter, they all paused as they noticed a vehicle coming towards them in the distance. The vehicle noise got louder the closer as it came to them and Laura was driving a 4x4 as it parked up beside them. Laura and Baxter both stepped out of the vehicle they had acquired as Laura said with a smile “Ready to go” was all she said to them, as they all looked upon her, and were relieved it was them. Cherie smirked at Laura and said “You are lucky we didn’t shoot you”. Melissa rushed up to and hugged Laura, as Baxter stood there, awaiting the next action from the group.