EG01 - When One Door Closes

by Joan Jonker

  Harry didn’t waste words. ‘Eileen, is Mary pregnant?’

  ‘Ah, ay, Harry! What d’yer think I am? It’s none of my business, so why ask me?’

  ‘I can hardly ask her, can I?’ He turned his back to the machine, and Mary.

  ‘You know how I feel about her, don’t you? How I’ve always felt!’

  ‘I’d have to be blind not to!’ Eileen kept a smile on her face in case Mary was watching. ‘I think yer a smashing feller, but Mary’s me mate.’ Sighing, she stuck a finger under her turban to scratch her head. ‘OK, Harry! Mary is pregnant! But if yer tell her I’ve told yer, I’ll never speak to yer again.’ When his mouth opened to speak, Eileen held her hand up. ‘No, Harry, let me finish! I’ve let the cat out of the bag now, so I may as well go the whole hog. I know how yer feel about Mary, but I think the world of her too, and heaven help anyone who hurts her.’ She saw Mary watching them with curiosity, and waved across to her. ‘We’re talkin’ about when the war’s over, and we start our own decorating business.’

  Satisfied, Mary smiled back before lowering her head again. Harry waited a few seconds. ‘Well, go on!’

  ‘It happened when Bob was on embarkation leave, and she told me they got carried away. I believe her too, ’cos she’s so bloody innocent it just isn’t true! She’s not a hard girl, and when the gossips find out, they’ll crucify her. She’s not strong enough to stand up to that, so if ever anyone needed a friend, it’s Mary Bradshaw. And right now I feel like a traitor!’

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lizzie Sedgemoor watched her son out of the corner of her eye. He’d been in a bad mood when he came in from work, and when she’d asked him what was wrong he’d nearly bitten her head off. When he worked days at the weekends he usually went for a pint, or to a dance, but here he was sitting quietly listening to the news on the wireless. The commentator’s voice was telling them how Hitler was pushing the Allies back on all fronts and her husband grunted in anger. ‘When our lads get started he won’t know what’s hit him, you mark my words! Him and his Heil Hitler salute … I’d bloody Heil Hitler him!’

  Lizzie tried again with Harry. ‘You’re very quiet, son.’

  ‘I’m trying to listen to the wireless, if you don’t mind!’ Harry spoke sharply, and George lifted his head in surprise. He opened his mouth to rebuke his son, but Lizzie’s eyes warned him off. It was when Harry had gone up to bed early, George asked. ‘What’s up with him?’

  ‘I think he’s sweet on Mary Bradshaw.’ Lizzie picked her knitting up. ‘From the looks of him, I’d say he’s not having much luck.’

  ‘He’ll get over it! He’ll be out dancing again in a few days, just you see.’

  ‘I don’t know so much.’ Lizzie’s nimble fingers flew along the row of stitches. ‘I’ve never seen our Harry like this before.’

  Upstairs, Harry lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. He’d had so many dreams over the last few weeks, and now those dreams were shattered. He imagined Mary in his mind, and his head and heart went through conflicting emotions. He still loved her … God, how he loved her! Since Eileen had told him she was expecting a baby he’d tried to push her out of his mind, but couldn’t. He’d tried to feel disgust, but couldn’t. When he thought about the baby the hatred in his heart was for Bob, not Mary.

  Slipping his legs over the side of the bed, Harry dropped his head in his hands. He loved her so much, if she’d have him, he’d go down on bended knee and ask her to marry him. OK, she didn’t love him, but in time he was sure she could come to care for him. And if she’d marry him he could protect her from the shame and the spite of the wagging tongues.

  Through these thoughts, ran others. What about his mam and dad? They’d go mad if they knew she was expecting Bob West’s baby and their son wanted to marry her! And Mary was a Catholic, too! That was another argument they’d have against him marrying her.

  Harry flung himself down on the bed again. What the hell am I thinking like this for? I’m talking about her being a Catholic and me marrying her, and she only knows I exist because I happen to be a neighbour! Still, I can hope, can’t I? Nobody can stop me from doing that. And they can’t stop me from loving her, either! If I ever get the chance to marry Mary Bradshaw nobody will stop me … baby or no baby … Catholic or no Catholic!

  Eileen missed the usual bus on the Monday night and there was only Mary left in the cloakroom when she pushed the door open. ‘That bloody clock of ours is away to hell!’ Struggling into her overall, beads of sweat running down her face, she glanced at Mary. ‘You don’t look too good, kid! How did yer get on at the doctor’s?’

  Mary took her arm and hurried her from the cloakroom. ‘I’ve got lots to tell you, but we’d better get to our machines. Can we eat our dinner quick, and go outside for ten minutes in the break?’

  ‘Is it bad news, kid?’

  ‘Not bad news, no! But in my condition there’s not likely to be any good news, is there?’

  While Eileen kept glancing across, wondering what Mary had to tell her, Mary’s thoughts were on Bob. He was always on her mind, but she never spoke of him to anyone. Only when she was alone in the house or standing by the machine as she was now, did she allow her head to fill with memories. Bob’s arms around her as they sat on the back row at the pictures, or laughing into each other’s eyes as they twirled around the dance floor in a quickstep. Their world was full of happiness then, and they thought it would last forever. But he’d gone now, and the happiness had gone too. All that was left was heartache.

  ‘When I got to the surgery yesterday, Doctor Greenfield had been to the hospital and told me mam everything.’ They were sitting on a grass verge outside the factory and Mary pulled at a blade of grass.

  ‘Go way!’ Eileen’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘What happened then?’

  ‘I was terrified going to the hospital. Me heart was beating fifteen to the dozen. And when I got to the ward and saw screens round me mam’s bed, I nearly died of fright. I thought she’d had another stroke with the shock.’ Mary closed her eyes as she re-lived the scene. ‘I was that frightened, thinking it was all my fault, I nearly ran out of the ward! I would have done if the Sister hadn’t pushed me through the screens.’

  The drama was too much for Eileen. ‘Go on, kid! Had she had a stroke?’

  Mary shook her head. ‘The doctor had told Sister we’d need some privacy and she’d put the screens around. He told me to take plenty of hankies, and he was right. The pair of us cried our eyes out.’

  ‘What did she say about the baby?’

  ‘We never mentioned the baby! I couldn’t stop crying and saying I was sorry I’d let her down, and me mam was crying and telling me not to worry.’

  ‘My God! Yer can be a real pain in the arse, sometimes, kid!’ Never one to mince words, Eileen went on. ‘Yer mam’s ill in ’ospital, and you go in and make her more ill!’ She tutted in exasperation. ‘Buck yer ideas up, kid!’

  ‘You expect me to laugh when I’m telling me mam I’m expecting an illegitimate baby?’

  ‘I’d expect yer to put a brave face on, for her sake. She’s probably worried sick about yer.’ Eileen sucked in her breath. ‘Does she know I know?’

  ‘I told you, we never mentioned the baby!’

  ‘I’ll go in with yer tomorrow. She might feel better if she knows I know about the baby.’

  Mary’s eyes lit up for a second, then dulled again. ‘I can’t take any more of your time up. Your mam must be cursing me.’

  A laugh rumbled in Eileen’s tummy as she rolled on to her knees. ‘My mam’s like your mam, she never curses! It’s a pity I don’t take after her, isn’t it?’ Her clenched hands dug in the grass as she tried to lift herself. ‘Give us a hand up, kid! Otherwise I’ll be here all night.’

  Eileen dragged a chair noisily across the floor and positioned it near the bed. ‘How’s it going, Mrs B? Yer look the picture of health to me.’

  ‘I’m not too bad.’ Martha’s face was pale but her eyes had lit u
p at the sight of Eileen. All night she’d been wondering how she could get a message to the big woman to ask her to keep an eye on Mary for her, and now here she was.

  ‘And how d’yer like the idea of being a granny?’ Go to it like a bull in a china shop, Eileen had told herself. If it’s left to Mary, we’ll sit through the whole visit without the baby being mentioned.

  A shadow crossed Martha’s face. She hadn’t thought of the baby as being a living thing; only something that was going to ruin her daughter’s life. Now Eileen was bringing the baby to life and Martha felt a strange stirring in her heart. When she didn’t answer, Eileen looked across to Mary. ‘What d’yer want, kid? A boy or a girl?’

  Colour flooded Mary’s face. ‘I don’t mind! What about you, Mam?’

  There was no hesitation. ‘A little girl named Emma.’

  ‘That was your mother’s name, wasn’t it?’ Mary’s relief was mixed with surprise. ‘D’you like that name?’

  ‘I wanted to call you Emma, but your dad wanted Mary.’

  ‘Your mam’s got it all worked out.’ Eileen was laughing as the bell went, and she gripped Martha’s hand. ‘Don’t worry about tatty head here, Mrs B! I’ll keep an eye on her.’

  ‘Thank you! You’re an angel!’

  Eileen grinned. ‘Some angel!’

  Mary hovered over the bed. ‘Don’t let on if any of the neighbours come in, will you, Mam? Only Eileen knows.’

  Martha nodded. ‘Don’t worry, lass!’

  Mary linked her arm through Eileen’s as they left the hospital. ‘You’ve done more in half-an-hour than I’d have done in a month of Sundays.’

  ‘Yer’ll have to learn to have a big mouth like me, kid!’ Mary could feel Eileen’s body shake before the laugh came. ‘On second thoughts, I wouldn’t wish my mouth on me worst enemy! Janet Griffiths said I had a mouth as big as the Mersey Tunnel, an’ I couldn’t argue with her.’

  As she passed the Smiths’ house, Mary remembered how good Fred had been to her mother, and on impulse decided to give a knock. She hadn’t seen any of the family since the day she’d shut the door in Elsie Smith’s face, and she’d been feeling guilty about it ever since. She didn’t like the woman, but that wasn’t a good enough reason for being so rude to her. The door was opened by Fred, and he quickly invited Mary inside. ‘We don’t see anything of you these days, lass!’

  ‘I won’t come in, if you don’t mind, Mr Smith! I’m on nights, and I’ve got to be leaving for work in an hour. I only called to tell you that me mam knows about Bob now; the doctor told her. So if you or Mrs Smith want to go in and see her, she’d be made up.’

  The living room door opened and Elsie’s head appeared. Curiosity was written all over her face, but Mary left it to Fred to satisfy her. She’d called to make peace, that was all. ‘I’ll be off then, and get ready for work. Ta-ra.’

  ‘I suppose yer know I’m seeing more of you than I am of me own kids, don’t yer?’ Eileen grinned as she took her seat next to Mary on the bus. ‘It’s only a bloody hour since I left you.’

  ‘I know! I’m disrupting your whole life.’ Mary’s wide blue eyes gazed with affection at her friend. ‘I honestly don’t know what I’d have done without you the last few weeks.’

  ‘Oh, you’d ’ave got by, kid! And anyway, now yer mam knows, the worst is over for yer.’

  ‘It’s certainly a big load off me mind; but I think the worst has still to come, hasn’t it? What’s wrong with me isn’t going to go away … it’s going to get bigger every day.’

  ‘Yer’ll get over that too! I’ll be here, and yer’ll have yer mam and yer friends to help.’

  Mary’s laugh was hollow. ‘What friends? I haven’t got any!’

  ‘Kid, yer don’t know who yer friends are till yer need them. You might get a big surprise.’

  ‘To use your words, Eileen, it would be a big bloody surprise!’

  ‘Eh, don’t you start swearin’, or I’ll get the blame for it.’ Eileen’s nose twitched. ‘Gets it out of yer system though to have a good old swear, doesn’t it? It’s either that or kickin’ the cat.’

  ‘What do you want, lover boy?’ Eileen glanced sideways to where Harry was standing. ‘Yer look as though yer’ve found sixpence and lost a pound.’

  ‘I was wondering what you think my chances are with Mary?’

  ‘Oh, what a pity I haven’t brought me crystal ball with me! If I’d known yer wanted yer fortune told, I’d have brought it.’

  ‘I’m serious, Eileen!’

  ‘In that case, I suggest yer go and ask Mary! I’m not her bloody keeper, yer know.’

  ‘I want to marry her!’

  Eileen saw he was deadly serious. She blew out a deep breath and thought what a marvellous solution it would be for all Mary’s troubles. But it wasn’t that simple. ‘Do yer mam and dad know how yer feel about Mary?’

  ‘It’s my life, Eileen! I want Mary, and I don’t care what anyone else wants or thinks. All I need is a little help from a friend to get near to her. To see her somewhere outside of work, so we could have a chance of getting to know each other. Will you help me … please?’

  ‘Harry, we can’t plan Mary’s life for her!’

  ‘I know that! But just give me a chance to make friends with her! That’s all I ask!’ His eyes were so pleading, Eileen felt pity for him. She didn’t think he stood a snowball’s chance in hell with Mary … no one did … but it wouldn’t hurt to try. If it didn’t do any good it couldn’t do any harm. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

  ‘Make it soon, will you?’ Harry was turning to walk away. ‘You see there isn’t much time.’

  Eileen racked her brain for a way to get the two of them together outside of work, but by break time had come up with nothing. It was only when they were in the canteen that the germ of an idea was born. Her fat arms leaning on the table and her docker’s sandwich clutched in her hands, she viewed Mary out of the side of her eye. ‘Have yer seen anything of Vera Jackson since the big fight?’

  ‘I haven’t had time to call. I seem to spend all me time either in work, in the hospital, or in bed!’ Mary speared a chip with her fork. ‘There’s been no sound from their house, so I imagine everything’s all right.’

  ‘I’ll come to the ’ossie with yer again tonight.’ Eileen changed the subject. ‘Make sure yer mam’s OK, then I won’t go again till next week when we’re on mornings.’

  ‘You don’t need to! You’ve got enough to do!’

  ‘I’ll get the kids ready for bed before I go out, so me mam won’t mind.’

  Mary didn’t argue. She always felt safe when Eileen was with her, and so alone when she wasn’t. Every night in bed she thanked God that she’d got through another day, and she knew it was only Eileen that made it possible.

  After the dinner break Eileen tried unsuccessfully to catch Harry’s eye. Muttering to herself that he was always there when you didn’t want him, she bawled across the machine. ‘I’m dying to go to the lavvy … I won’t be a minute.’

  She found Harry outside the manager’s office and didn’t waste time. ‘For what it’s worth, I’m goin’ to the ’ossie with Mary tonight. If yer ’appened to knock about half six to ask if she’s seen anything of the Jacksons, I could suggest yer come with us.’

  The cleft in Harry’s chin deepened when he smiled. ‘You’re on!’

  As she hurried away, Eileen called over her shoulder. ‘Don’t ever say I never did nothin’ for yer!’

  Mary was rinsing her face when the knock came and she dashed through to the door thinking it would be Eileen. But it was Vera standing on the step with Carol in her arms. ‘Can I come in a minute, Mary?’

  ‘Sure!’ Mary planted a kiss on Carol’s face. ‘Hello, sweetheart.’

  ‘I won’t keep you.’ Vera pulled Carol’s hands back as they made a grab for Mary’s blonde curls. ‘I know you’ll be getting ready for the hospital.’

  ‘I’m all right for a few minutes.’ Mary took her make-up bag out of the sideboard
drawer. ‘Eileen’s not coming till half past.’ Her eyes looked up from the small compact mirror. ‘How did you get on?’

  Before Vera could answer, the knocker sounded again. ‘This’ll be her.’ Mary had her hand on the door knob when she remembered Eileen never knocked on the door, she always rapped on the window. There was a puzzled expression on her face when she swung the door open, and it quickly turned to one of impatience at the sight of Harry Sedgemoor.

  ‘I wondered if you’d heard anything of next door.’ Harry slipped past without waiting to be asked in. ‘Have you seen Vera?’

  ‘That’s the second time I’ve opened the door expecting to see Eileen.’ Mary made no effort to hide her annoyance. ‘Vera’s here now.’

  ‘Oh, I’m glad it’s you.’ Vera’s eyes lit at the sight of Harry. ‘I’ve been wanting to thank you and Mary for the other night.’

  ‘It was just lucky I was here.’ Harry looked bashful. ‘Actually, that’s why I’ve called … to ask if Mary had seen you.’

  ‘She’s only been here two minutes,’ Mary’s lips were pursed as she applied lipstick. ‘I haven’t had time to ask her anything yet.’

  ‘Danny never said a word when he got in from work. He had his breakfast, smoked a few Woodies, then went to bed.’ Vera bit on her top lip to keep a smile at bay. ‘He’s got a beautiful black eye.’

  ‘You mean he hasn’t mentioned it at all?’ Mary sounded disbelieving.

  ‘Not a dickie bird! He hasn’t raised his voice since, even when Carol’s making a din with the pan lids I give her to play with.’ Vera jumped when the loud rap came on the window. ‘This’ll be for me.’

  ‘No.’ Mary smiled. ‘This is definitely Eileen.’

  ‘What a bloody rush!’ Eileen’s smile covered everyone as she bent to kiss Carol. ‘Hello, chuck! Aren’t you a little beauty!’

  When Mary slipped upstairs for her coat, Eileen stared hard at Harry. He could see the question in her eyes and shrugged his shoulders. ‘I only just got here before you. Vera was here when I arrived.’