EG01 - When One Door Closes

by Joan Jonker

  Sore feet forgotten, Eileen put a hand on each of Rene’s shoulders and turned her round to face her. ‘Let’s just calm ourselves down before we go in, shall we? Alan’s got enough on his plate without you cryin’ yer eyes out in front of him, so for Christ’s sake pull yerself together! You know what’s wrong with him, so prepare yerself!’

  Dropping on to a chair, Eileen screwed her eyes up and blew out a sigh of relief. ‘Me feet’ll never be the same again!’ She circled one of her fat legs with her two hands, and struggling, pulled the leg across her lap. ‘Ooooh!’ She pulled off the too tight shoe and groaned in pain. ‘I’ve been in bloody agony since I left the house!’ Through her stockings angry red marks could be seen where the shoe had bitten into the flesh, and she winced as she rubbed her foot. ‘What we go through for bloody pride!’

  Maggie watched the other shoe being taken off and flung across the floor in disgust. ‘Get yourself a decent pair of comfortable shoes for heaven’s sake! We’re not so poverty stricken you can’t afford a pair.’ She waited till Eileen stopped groaning, then asked, ‘How was Alan?’

  ‘I didn’t half get me eye wiped, Mam! There was me, the big tough guy, telling our kid not to be such a baby. Prepare yerself, I told her!’ Eileen huffed. ‘The trouble was, no one had prepared me!’

  ‘Is he very bad?’

  ‘What can yer expect? He says he’s worried about not being able to work again, but I think it’s more than that. I’m not very good with words, Mam, but he seemed to ’ave a haunted look in his eyes, as though he’s got something on his mind.’

  ‘We don’t know what he’s got on his mind.’ Maggie was crying softly. ‘Don’t know what he’s gone through or the terrible sights he’s seen.’

  ‘He’s lucky compared to some, believe me! If yer’d seen some of the other fellers in the ward yer’d realise just how lucky he is! The poor feller in the next bed is twenty-four years of age, he’s got a twelve-month-old baby, and he’s lost both his arms.’

  As Maggie’s cries became louder, Eileen cursed herself for being stupid, and kept quiet about the other men she’d seen. The ones suffering from shell shock, who wandered round in a little world of their own. And the man in the bed opposite Alan, whose face was covered in bandages. When she’d asked what was wrong with him, she’d been told half his face had been blown away. The memory of those men would be with Eileen for a long time, but there was nothing to be gained by upsetting her mother.

  They heard footsteps running along the hall before young Edna burst through the door. ‘I can do it, Mam! Come an’ see me, Mam!’

  ‘What can yer do, pet?’

  Edna pulled on her mother’s arm. ‘Come outside, an’ I’ll show yer!’ Eileen’s lips curled upwards. ‘Life goes on, Mam!’ She allowed herself to be pulled, in her stocking feet, into the street. ‘Stand there, Mam, and watch me.’ Bouncing a red rubber ball, Edna began to sing. ‘One, two, three, Oleara.’ At the count of three, she cocked a thin leg over the ball, ‘four, five, six, Oleara’, again she cocked her leg over the ball, ‘seven, eight, nine, Oleara.’ This time her little leg just made it back to the ground in time to bounce the ball higher as she sang, ‘ten Oleara, catch the ball!’ and twirl round before catching the falling ball in her hands. ‘There yer are, Mam! Aren’t I clever?’

  Looking at her daughter’s happy, innocent face, Eileen silently thanked God for her, and Joan and Billy. Without them life wouldn’t be worth living right now. Ruffling Edna’s hair, she said, ‘You are clever, and that’s a fact! Yer deserve a penny for some sweeties after that!’ Holding the thin hand in hers, she walked back along the hall thinking that there was still a lot to be thankful for. Nice things still happen … like our Edna being able to cock her leg over the ball without falling flat on her backside. And me best mate gettin’ married on Friday!

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The flickering candles at the foot of the statue of the Virgin Mary on the small side altar caught Harry’s eyes as he turned to whisper to his best man, ‘They’re late.’

  ‘It’s not quite eleven, yet.’ Johnny Griffiths smiled at Harry’s unease. ‘It’s the bride’s prerogative to be late, anyway.’

  ‘My watch must be fast.’ Harry ran a finger round the inside of his shirt neck. It was new, and the collar was stiff and uncomfortable. He could hear the low voices of his mother and father behind him as they chatted to Elsie Smith, and on the opposite side of the aisle Martha and Eileen were turned round whispering to Vera and Danny Jackson. There weren’t many people in the large, beautiful church, only the ten invited guests, a few of their neighbours, and a handful of daily worshippers. Fred Smith wasn’t there, because at the last minute he’d been asked to give Mary away. She had no relative to walk her down the aisle, so with Fred being a Catholic he’d been invited to take the place of her father.

  Up till four weeks ago Harry had never been inside a Catholic church. But since then he’d been to see Father Murphy eight times for instruction, and the priest had brought him through from the vestry, into the church, as part of his introduction into the Catholic faith. Harry hadn’t been nervous then, but he was now! He wouldn’t be content until the wedding was over and Mary had his ring on her finger. The ring! Forgetting to lower his voice, Harry grabbed Johnny’s arm. ‘You have got the ring, haven’t you?’ Johnny let his face look blank for several seconds, then grinned as he patted his breast pocket. ‘All present and accounted for.’

  There was muted laughter and Harry turned his head to see Martha and Eileen trying to keep their faces straight. ‘He ’ad yer worried then, didn’t he?’ Eileen, to use her own words, was feeling like the fairy on top of a Christmas tree. Dressed up to the nines in her new dress, a wide-brimmed hat that had been borrowed from their Rene, a new pair of shoes and matching gloves, she’d told her mother, ‘I wouldn’t call the Queen me aunt in this gear!’

  Harry tried to raise a smile. ‘I’ve got a spare …’ he heard the whispering stop as all heads turned towards the back of the church. A hand in his back pushed him out of the pew and Johnny hissed, ‘They’re here! Move out!’

  Harry, his hands clasped tightly together, squared his shoulders as he stood in front of the altar. He bent his head and turned it slightly to see Mary walking down the aisle on Fred Smith’s arm. She looked neither left nor right, her face pale. But Fred was beaming with pride and enjoying the importance of the role.

  Father Murphy, who had appeared from nowhere, was smiling encouragement as Mary reached Harry’s side, and indicated where they should stand. Mary’s mind and body were numb. The short service was a blur … her voice a faltering whisper as the priest asked her to repeat the vows after him. And when Harry was slipping the ring on her finger, the hand wearing the new gold band looked like a stranger’s hand. ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’ Harry cupped his hand under Mary’s chin and bent to kiss her; then they were being led through to the room where the registrar was waiting for their signature on the marriage licence.

  Harry’s heart was bursting with pride as he walked back up the aisle with his new bride on his arm. He bent his head sideways to whisper. ‘You look lovely, Mary.’ The dress suited her to perfection, as did the small hat perched on top of the long blonde hair. The eye veil, as delicate as a spider’s web, did little to hide the wide blue eyes beneath it. They walked from the darkness of the church into bright sunlight, and a shower of confetti from Eileen, Vera and Elsie Smith. Eileen hugged Mary in a bearlike grip, grinning over her shoulder at Harry. ‘Well, yer’ve been and gone and done it now! No more gallivanting for you, me lad!’

  Mary disengaged herself from Eileen’s arms. ‘Is me mam all right?’

  ‘The men are seein’ to her, so don’t be worrying. Yer car’s holding the traffic up, so get going! The bride and groom should be there to welcome their guests, so don’t show yer ignorance an’ get home an’ have the sherry poured out for us.’

  Mary slipped into the back seat of the car. She tried to return the driver�
�s smile but her lips were so dry she thought they would crack when she stretched them. ‘Well, that’s over!’ Harry took her hand. ‘I can’t say I’m sorry, either! I was as nervous as a kitten.’

  Within minutes they were stepping out of the car and Harry turned to slip some money into the driver’s hand. Then he opened the door and stepped aside to let Mary pass. He caught her up in the middle of the hall, his arm round her waist. ‘How about a kiss for your new husband, Mrs Sedgemoor?’

  Her heart doing somersaults, Mary lifted her face. The kiss was gentle at first, then more demanding, and Mary pulled away. ‘They’ll be here any minute, and I want to see to the table.’

  ‘Would it be so terrible if they saw a man kissing his wife on their wedding day?’

  ‘I’ve got the table to see to.’ Even to her own ears Mary’s excuse sounded childish. ‘I want everything to look nice for when they get here.’ She moved plates that didn’t need moving, and straightened chairs that were already straight. Anything to avoid Harry’s watching eyes. And when the bell rang she sighed with relief as she dashed to let their guests in.

  Even with the two extending leaves in Martha’s table it wasn’t big enough for them all to sit round, so after helping themselves to food from the table, they sat with their plates balanced on their knees and wine glasses in their hands. It was a noisy, happy atmosphere, and slowly the strain on Mary’s face relaxed. She didn’t have much to say, but then neither did anyone else with Eileen there. Her tales of young Billy kept them all amused. ‘Yer know this secret weapon that Hitler’s supposed to have? Well, Winston Churchill doesn’t know it yet, but we’ve got a better one! If they dropped our Billy behind enemy lines the war would be over in a week, ’cos he’d talk the bloody Germans to death!’

  When Vera’s high-pitched laugh sounded, Mary happened to be facing Danny, and her brow creased when she saw the look on his face as he watched his wife. It was a look of affection. Something Mary hadn’t seen for years. Vera had told her he’d changed since he got his calling up papers, but Mary hadn’t believed it possible he’d changed this much. He was so good with Carol, sitting her on his knee and even kissing and hugging her. And it wasn’t put on for the benefit of the company either, because you could tell by Carol’s face that she was no longer afraid of him. Perhaps the thought of going away had made him realise what he was leaving behind. Whatever had changed him, Mary was glad for Vera’s sake. She returned to the conversation going on round her, to hear Harry asking, ‘I was never as naughty as young Billy, was I, Mam?’

  ‘That’s what you think!’ Lizzie clucked. ‘Remember when you had that catapult? There wasn’t a bird, cat or dog safe when you had that thing in your hand! We never had any pigeons on our roof, ’cos you used to knock them off!’

  ‘I was a good shot, though, wasn’t I, Mam?’ Harry teased.

  ‘Too bloody good!’ George remembered. ‘When Mr Watson kept pigeons he was never away from our door, complaining about you hitting his blasted birds! He wouldn’t leave till I’d given you a good hiding, either!’

  Harry’s laugh was loud. ‘I’ve often wondered why I didn’t like that man.’

  Eileen wasn’t going to let her Billy be outshone by anything Harry had done. So she got into her stride, doing what she was best at and that was making people laugh. ‘I’ll give yez an example of ’ow crafty the little bugger is, shall I? The other day I was rushin’ round like a blue-arsed fly tryin’ to get me work done, and I heard him arguing with me mam. She couldn’t get a word in edgeways … everything she said he had an answer for. I put up with it for a while, then I lost me rag an’ grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. “Will you put a stopper in that gob of yours,” I said, “before I put me fist in it!” D’yer know what the cheeky little monkey did? He looked up at me, as cool as yer like, an’ stuck his hand out. “Giz a penny then,” he said, with such a smirk on his face I felt like thumping him one. “Yer cheeky little sod,” I said, “why should I give yer a penny when yer’ve been naughty?”’ Eileen’s whole body was shaking so much with laughter the floor boards creaked. ‘I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but when I think of the look on ’is face, I can’t help meself. He said, “Well, yer told me to put a stopper in me gob, so if yer give us a penny I can buy meself some gobstoppers!”’ Martha was laughing with the rest of them, but Lizzie noticed her tired eyes and the sag of her shoulders. Scraping her chair back, Lizzie stood up. ‘I think it’s time we went. It’s been a lovely day, but Martha’s had enough.’

  ‘Yes, we’d better be making tracks too! We’ve left the boys with the McDermots.’ When Fred stood up, Elsie got up too. For once she looked happy, but whether it was because she’d enjoyed herself or whether she was thinking of all the gossip she had to tell the neighbours, no one would ever know. Her eyes had been everywhere, and her three trips to the bathroom had been to make sure she saw everything there was to see.

  Lizzie was nudging her husband’s arm. ‘Go on, tell them!’

  George grinned sheepishly. ‘We didn’t know what to buy you for a wedding present, so we all clubbed together and bought you one decent present between the lot of us.’ His wave took in the Smiths, the Jacksons and Eileen. ‘It’s a surprise though, so we’re not telling you what it is. Just don’t go out on Monday morning, ’cos it’s being delivered.’

  ‘Oooh, I can’t wait till Monday.’ Mary clasped her hands. ‘Go on, tell us what it is, please!’

  ‘Just ’old yer horses, young Mrs Sedgemoor,’ Eileen mocked. ‘Yer’ll see it soon enough! In the meantime, put in a good word for me with yer old man, will yer? Get him to move that bloody Jean Simpson on to another machine, for God’s sake!’

  Mary blushed. ‘You’d better sort that out with Harry.’

  ‘Ah, come on, kid! I thought yer were me mate! If yer can’t get him to do yer a favour on yer weddin’ night, then yer mustn’t be doing it right, so come to yer Auntie Eileen for some advice.’

  Harry bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. He could see by Mary’s face that she wasn’t amused, so he came to her rescue. ‘You’ll be having us divorced before we’ve been married twenty-four hours! And you wonder where young Billy gets his cheek from!’

  ‘Come on, let’s get going.’ Lizzie led the way into the hall. She was about to step into the road, then turned back to Mary. ‘You will make sure he gets plenty to eat, won’t you?’

  This started everyone off laughing again, and it was a happy group that waved goodbye.

  Harry helped Mary clear the table, then they put all the furniture back before starting on the dishes, working in an awkward silence. As soon as they were finished Mary automatically walked into the front room where Martha was sitting with a contented smile on her face.

  ‘All back to normal again, Mam.’

  ‘It’s been a grand day, lass! It was nice seeing the neighbours again, and I think they all enjoyed themselves.’ Martha looked towards the door. ‘Where is Harry?’

  Mary looked surprised by the question. ‘In the other room, I suppose.’

  ‘Don’t you think you should go and see? He might want to be alone with you for a while! I’ll be all right here with me wireless.’

  ‘He can come in here if he wants to.’ Mary’s voice was petulant.

  ‘No, lass! You got married today, and your place is in your own room with your husband.’ Martha knew she was treading on thin ice and chose her words carefully. ‘It’s been a hectic day, lass, and I’d like to be on me own for a while.’

  Mary’s head hung as she walked towards the door. ‘Give me a shout if you want anything.’ In the back room she found Harry setting the alarm clock that had been a present from Eileen’s mother. ‘Shall I make a cup of tea?’

  Harry looked up. ‘A cup of tea’s your answer to everything, isn’t it, Mary?’ He smiled to take the sting out of his words. ‘Why don’t you just sit down and talk?’

  Like a little girl doing as she was told, Mary sat in a chair facing the couch. ‘D’you think the
y all enjoyed themselves?’

  ‘Never mind them! Did you enjoy yourself?’

  The direct question had Mary floundering for words. ‘I thought everything went off great!’

  In a gesture of despair, Harry shook his head. ‘The difference in you when you’re with other people and when you’re with me, is unbelievable! You’re not frightened of me, are you, Mary?’

  ‘Of course not! Don’t be silly!’

  Harry patted the empty space at the side of him. ‘Then come and sit next to me.’

  ‘I’ll go and change me dress first. I don’t want to get any marks on it.’ Mary ran from the room leaving Harry hurt and bewildered. He’d married a woman who wouldn’t even talk to him! Making a quick decision he put the clock down and went to Martha’s door. He knocked softly, and walked in when she answered. ‘I don’t know how to handle it, Mrs B! She treats me as though I’ve got the plague!’

  Martha nodded her head sadly. ‘I know, and I understand how you must feel. But she’s been through hell for the last few months and needs time to get it out of her mind.’

  ‘How much time, Mrs B? A month, a year, ten years? And what am I supposed to do if she never changes?’

  ‘She will, Harry! I know she will! She’s all frightened and mixed up inside, and my heart breaks every time I look at her. She used to be so happy, and always laughing; then everything suddenly went wrong, and she doesn’t know how to come to terms with it.’ Martha ran a hand across her forehead. ‘You do love her, don’t you Harry?’