EG01 - When One Door Closes

by Joan Jonker

  Martha watched with growing concern as Mary laid the still form on her lap and eased off the nightdress, sodden with perspiration. There was no sound from the baby and no resistance. She was like a rag doll. ‘I’d nip next door now, if I were you.’ Martha spoke calmly so as not to alarm Mary. She could sense her daughter was trying hard to hold back the tears. ‘If Doris rings the doctor early enough, she’ll catch him before he starts his surgery.’

  It was half past eight when the doctor arrived, and after a brief examination of Emma, he turned to Mary, his face serious. ‘I’m afraid it’s pneumonia, Mrs Sedgemoor.’

  ‘Oh, no!’ Mary could feel her legs buckle and she clung to the back of a chair for support. ‘Is she going to be all right?’

  ‘I don’t think it would be advisable to move her to hospital.’ The doctor ignored Mary’s question. ‘I’ll leave you something to make her more comfortable, and I’ll call back this afternoon.’

  ‘She’s not going to die, is she?’ Mary grabbed his arm and shook it. ‘Tell me! I want to know!’

  ‘Mrs Sedgemoor, no doctor can ever say that with any certainty. The next forty-eight hours are critical. If you think you can’t cope, then I’ll send her to hospital. But I’d rather not move her.’

  ‘I can look after her!’ Mary looked to her mother for reassurance. ‘Can’t I, Mam? Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it!’

  ‘Keep her warm, and make sure there are no draughts. That’s probably how she caught pneumonia in the first place. If you drape a sheet around the sides of the cot, it will keep out any cold air that comes in every time you open the door. Wash her down frequently with a soft, damp cloth, and try to get some milk down her.’ The doctor snapped his bag shut. ‘I’ll call back this afternoon, but if you need me before, get your neighbour to ring.’

  ‘My husband asked me to ring his works if it was serious,’ Mary said, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. ‘Shall I get him to come home?’

  The doctor shook his head. ‘Let’s see how she is this afternoon. And if you have any visitors, don’t let them in this room because they’ll bring the cold in with them.’

  When Doris called later, Mary kept her in the hall while she explained. ‘I’m sorry, Doris, but I can’t let you see Emma. But you can do me a favour if you’re going to the shops. I only need bread today, and this letter posting.’ Mary handed over the letter she’d scribbled to the Wests to say why she wouldn’t be able to meet them as arranged. If it wasn’t posted today they mightn’t get it in time.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  ‘Go and put your feet up for half an hour, lass, while you’ve got the chance.’ Martha eyed the fatigue on her daughter’s face, and the dark circles under her eyes. ‘The baby’s resting easy now, and she should sleep for a couple of hours.’

  ‘I’ll sit here and rest.’ Mary yawned as she flopped into the chair and stretched her legs out. ‘Every bone in me body is aching.’

  ‘I’m not surprised, going without sleep for four nights! If you’re not careful you’ll be knocking yourself up! The doctor’s just told you the crisis is past, so you could go and lie on the bed for an hour and get a proper rest. I’ll call you if Emma wakes up.’

  ‘No, I’d rather stay here. I know the doctor said the worst is over, but she’s still poorly.’ Mary rubbed the back of her neck. ‘I’ll have to get Harry to seal the window in her bedroom before she goes back in there.’ Mary’s lids began to close. ‘And block the fireplace up.’

  In a matter of seconds Mary was sleeping soundly, and Martha nodded, satisfied. No one could go without sleep for four days, and if Mary didn’t watch it she’d be ill herself. Harry had tried to coax her to go to bed last night while he stayed up with Emma, but Mary wouldn’t hear of it. Wild horses couldn’t have dragged her from her daughter’s side.

  Martha picked up a magazine and skimmed through the pages, looking at the pictures. Her mind was too full to concentrate on the words that went with them. Then, through the silence, came the sound of the front knocker. ‘Blast!’ Martha glanced quickly at Mary, but her daughter was in too deep a sleep to have been woken by the sound. Martha said a silent prayer that whoever was at the door would go away. But seconds later came another knock, louder and more persistent this time.

  ‘Mary! There’s someone at the door, lass!’

  Mary sat up, startled. Rubbing her eyes, she stumbled to her feet. ‘I must have dropped off.’ Her legs were so weak she expected them to buckle under her as she made her way down the hall. But when she opened the door and saw who her visitors were, her tiredness vanished. She stared, so surprised she couldn’t speak.

  ‘We had to come, love.’ It was Bob West who spoke. He had his arm around his wife’s waist, as though holding her up. ‘We couldn’t rest, not knowing how Emma is, could we, Lily?’

  Bob’s mam and dad looked so forlorn Mary’s heart went out to them. ‘I’m sorry! I shouldn’t keep you standing on the step.’ Mary held her hand out. ‘Come in.’

  ‘Mary looks terrible.’ Harry was standing by Eileen’s machine. ‘She’s absolutely worn out. I tried to talk her into going to bed last night but she wouldn’t even consider it.’

  ‘I’d never leave one of mine when they were sick, either!’ Eileen pushed the turban up out of her eyes. She could never get the hang of tying the blasted thing so it would stay put. ‘An’ the doctor said Emma’s over the worst did ’e?’

  ‘So he said when he came this morning. She’s far from well, and we’ve got to watch her, but he said the fever had broken and we should start seeing an improvement over the next few days.’ Harry leaned his back against the conveyor. ‘It hasn’t half taken it out of Mary, though. She looked so lousy when I came out, I wanted to take the day off, but she wouldn’t hear of it.’

  ‘Yer shouldn’t have taken any notice of her.’ Eileen moved around him and picked out a shell from the moving belt. ‘Why don’t yer go an’ see Mr Glover now, and ask if yer can go ’ome? He won’t mind if yer explain ’ow things are.’

  With a picture of Mary’s tired face in his mind, it only needed Eileen’s words to galvanise Harry into action. ‘Right! I’ll do it! I never take time off, so he can’t complain.’

  ‘Send ’im to me if he does!’ Her chins wobbling, Eileen rolled her sleeves over her elbows. Her chubby hands curled into fists, she took up a fighting stance, making Harry grin. ‘I’ll knock ’im into the middle of next week!’

  There was sadness on Martha’s face as she watched Lily West bend over the cot and gently stroke Emma’s flushed face. It was two years now since Martha had seen the Wests, and those two years of worry and grief had certainly taken their toll. They didn’t look like the same two people.

  Martha turned her head quickly. She could have sworn she heard the sound of a key in the front door. But she couldn’t have. Apart from Mary, the only other person with a key to the front door was Harry, and he was in work. Then she heard the distinct sound of a key being turned then pulled from the lock, and she knew she wasn’t imagining things. ‘Here’s Harry!’

  Three faces turned towards Martha, but before her words had time to register the door opened and Harry walked in. There was complete silence as four people, as still as statues, watched Harry’s eyes move from one to the other. They saw his initial look of surprise turn briefly to anger, then bewilderment.

  Mary broke the silence. Walking towards him, she said softly, ‘I didn’t know Mr and Mrs West were coming, Harry, it was a surprise.’

  ‘That’s true, lad.’ Bob West stood up. ‘Lily was so worried about the baby she wouldn’t let up until I brought her.’

  Harry felt as though his head was going to burst. He was floundering in a sea of conflicting emotions, and it showed on his face as he looked from the Wests to Martha, then to Mary, then back again to Lily West.

  ‘Come on, love.’ Bob West held his hand out to his wife. ‘We’d better be on our way.’

  For a second Lily looked defiant. Then her shoulders s
lumped in surrender. She kissed her finger and placed it on Emma’s cheek before walking towards her husband’s outstretched hand. Her head was bent as she passed Harry, but it didn’t hide the tear trickling slowly down her cheek.

  ‘No, don’t go!’ His voice broken, Harry touched her arm. ‘It’s only natural you’ve been worried about the baby. So stay for a while … please!’

  When Lily raised her head there was a puzzled expression on her face, as though she didn’t trust her hearing. She looked to Mary for reassurance, and when Mary nodded, hope flared in Lily’s eyes. ‘We’d like to stay, if you’re sure you don’t mind.’

  Harry felt Mary’s hand slip through his arm and he squeezed it gently before saying, ‘You’re welcome.’

  Harry was very quiet for the hour the Wests stayed. His eyes kept straying to Lily, and the love and concern written on her face as she gazed down at Emma made him ask himself how he could ever have wanted to keep her away from her son’s daughter. It was easy to deny somebody something when you didn’t have to see the suffering your selfishness caused, but being faced with it, as he was now, filled him with sadness.

  ‘If you’re sure you don’t mind us coming on a Sunday, it would save me taking a day off work.’ Bob West craned his neck to look up at Mary and Harry who were standing on the top step. ‘We wouldn’t come till the afternoon, to give you a chance to get your dinner over.’ He put his arm across his wife’s shoulders. ‘Shall we say three o’clock, love?’ Lily smiled up at him. They had both grown in stature and confidence over the last hour, and the strain on their faces eased. Life would continue to get better now they had something to live for.

  After Mary had closed the door, Harry followed her down the hall and caught her around the waist as she went to turn into Martha’s room. ‘Can we talk for five minutes?’ Without waiting for an answer he propelled her into the back room, and when she went to speak he put a hand gently over her mouth. ‘Don’t say a word till I’ve got it all off me chest.’ He pushed her down into the rocking chair and sat facing her. ‘What a selfish bastard I’ve been! It’s a wonder you don’t hate me.’

  ‘I don’t hate …’ Mary’s words petered out when Harry lifted his hand.

  ‘Let me finish before you say anything.’ Harry studied his nails before going on. ‘There’s no excuse for the way I’ve behaved because at the back of me mind I’ve known all along that what I was doing was wrong. But I wouldn’t admit it. You see I didn’t want anyone in your life that would remind you of Bob. I thought if I had to compete with him, I’d lose you. Yes, I was even jealous of Bob, Mary! Jealous because he died fighting for his country while I’ve got a nice, safe, cushy job in civvie street.’ Harry pounded a fist on the arm of his chair. ‘I knew what I was expecting from you was wrong, but until I saw the Wests with Emma today, I didn’t realise how wrong. I don’t feel very proud of meself, I can tell you.’

  Mary was putting herself in Harry’s place, and understanding him as she never had before. A wave of tenderness swept over her, ‘We’ve both made mistakes, Harry.’ Mary bent forward to straighten the rug in front of the brass fender to give herself a few seconds to sort things out in her mind. She remembered the icy hand of fear that had clutched her heart when Harry had walked in unexpectedly. Right away she saw the scene from his eyes. How could he be expected to believe the Wests hadn’t been invited, especially at a time when he should be at work. It was then Mary realised how much she cared what Harry thought.

  Mary straightened up. Today, all her wishes had been granted and her dreams come true. She felt so calm, so at peace with the world. ‘We can put all our mistakes behind us, Harry, and start again.’ She said softly. ‘As me mam always says, “as one door closes, another door opens”.’

  ‘Can we start again, Mary?’ Harry’s dark brown eyes pleaded.

  ‘What you did today has made it possible for me to close the door on one part of me life, Harry! It was the best present you could ever have given me.’ Mary stood up, a smile hovering round the corners of her mouth. She crossed the room and sat on his lap. ‘I think now is the right time to give you your present.’

  Harry quirked an eyebrow as he pulled her closer. ‘You bought me a present?’

  ‘Well, it’s to share between Emma and me mam, and me of course, but mostly it’s yours.’ Mary cupped his face between her hands. ‘It wasn’t bought with money, Harry, it was bought with love.’ She brushed his lips with hers before whispering, ‘I’m pregnant.’