Light of Dawn

by Vannetta Chapman

  “I don’t like coming into Highway 281 through the Glen Rose area.” Patrick shook his head. “The road winds through some areas where there is significant elevation gain. It’s the perfect spot for an ambush.”

  Everyone started talking at once then. There was concern because they would be in one vehicle, which could compromise the safety of the supplies they were taking to Abney if that vehicle were attacked. How much ammunition did they still have? Would they approach the area during the day or the night? Even Carter and Lanh were jumping into the discussion now. Max glanced at Shelby. She nodded once, so he raised a hand to get everyone’s attention.

  “One of Shelby’s interviewees was a young woman who is a member of the Remnant.”

  “Kinsley Storm,” Shelby said. “Twenty-four and working with the government’s transportation department.”

  “Transportation?” Bianca asked.

  “Specifically, horses.” Max motioned for Shelby to continue.

  “Kinsley has given us the name and locations of the Remnant groups in north Texas. One of them was near the Glen Rose area. They’ll help us through.”

  The group was silent as everyone digested the information.

  Finally, Max leaned back and said, “So it’s settled. We leave at first light, and we take Gabe’s route.”

  Carter glanced at Lanh, who nodded. Then he said, “There’s something we need to talk to you about first. Lanh and I…we’ve decided to stay.”

  SEVENTY-ONE

  Max thought he understood on one level what Shelby was going through. On another level, he knew he couldn’t begin to fathom what she was feeling. Carter had been a major part of her life for nineteen years. He’d been the main focus of her existence since the flare. Now he was saying he was ready to be on his own. From the expression on her face, that was something she had not foreseen at all.

  Carter and Lanh had made their announcement and then laid out their reasons logically and succinctly. It was something they’d obviously given a lot of thought to.

  Shelby had been unusually quiet, nodding, not asking questions, reaching out once to squeeze Carter’s hand and later to pull him into a hug. They all patted the boys on the back, said they understood, and wished them the best. It felt too casual, even to Max. After all, they weren’t leaving them for a semester. It could be years before they saw them again.

  She hadn’t begun to cry until they were alone. Then only a few tears trailed down her cheeks, which she quickly brushed away.

  “In one sense, it means you raised him right.” They were walking along the river. After everyone had congratulated Carter and Lanh, Shelby had walked away from the group, and Carter had followed her. They’d spent less than five minutes together, standing shoulder to shoulder. Max had waited until he saw Carter walking back, and then he’d given her a few more minutes alone. Eventually, his heart had propelled him to find her.

  “Tell me you’re not here to cheer me up.”

  “Do you need cheering up?”

  “I don’t know what I need, Max.”

  They walked in silence for a few more minutes, the nearly full moon lighting their way.

  “I knew this day would come.”

  “Of course you did.”

  “And I thought I was ready—before the flare.”

  “But since then…”

  “Since then it’s been day to day. Our entire life has become day to day.”

  “Maybe that’s why he wants to stay.”

  Shelby turned and looked at him sharply, but she didn’t argue with what he’d said, so he pushed on.

  “This gives both Carter and Lanh a chance to focus on the future. They won’t be consumed with finding enough food each day…”

  “Or enough medicine.”

  “That too.”

  Shelby stopped and plopped down on the riverbank. The sound of the water flowing by was oddly comforting—its persistence, its naturalness. It occurred to Max that life was that way. It kept going regardless.

  “How could I want him with me when he would be safe here?”

  “Relatively.”

  “Oh, I understand nowhere is safe, not like we thought we were before. But that was an illusion, Max. This world isn’t meant to be our haven. I know that. But I can’t help wanting what’s best for my son.”

  “Carter knows how much you care about him.”

  They were silent a moment, and then she said, “It’s about more than safety. Did you notice the way his eyes lit up when he talked about what he’d be doing? Robotics and pharmacology and herbs.”

  “I did.”

  “I only understood half of what he said.” She sighed and flopped onto her back, staring up at the stars. “He’s actually excited about something for the first time in a long time. Maybe for the first time since Kaitlyn died.”

  That sat between them for a moment, along with the memory of all they’d lost.

  “If Carter stays—”

  “Oh, he’s staying. I wouldn’t think for a minute of asking him to give up his dream for me.”

  “Okay, he’s staying. But you’re not going to be alone now, Shelby. You’ll still have me.” He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. More than anything, he wanted to pull her into his arms, wipe the look of concern off her face, and be her strength when she was hurting. He wanted to confess his undying love once more, but something told him that now wasn’t the time.

  “I could stay too.”

  A stone dropped into the pit of Max’s stomach.

  “MacRae brought it up earlier today. They’d let me. They’d let any of us.”

  Max shook his head. “I have to go home. I have to be there for my parents.”

  Now she rolled over onto her side. Propped up on one elbow, she studied him in the darkness. “The crazy thing? I want to be there for them too. I want to be back at High Fields. It’s where I belong, helping the people we know and love—not out here pioneering the new world. I want to go home.”

  “Does that…could that have anything to do with me?”

  He could barely make out her expression in the moonlight, but there was no mistaking the feel of her palm against his cheek or the tenderness of her lips on his. He pushed his fingers through her hair, kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, her lips once more, and suddenly there was nothing between them. The flare and the deaths and the grief and the fear all melted away as she kissed him again. Then she rested her forehead against his. Her breathing was ragged and her skin hot under his hands. She held his face between her hands, kissed him once more, and then instead of saying another word, she stood and walked back to their barracks.

  They’d snuggled and hugged and cried and wept together in the last nine months. They’d also fought and hollered and clashed wills. He’d even kissed her a few times, but Max was sure that it was the first time in many, many years that Shelby had allowed her feelings for him to show. Was she finally letting go of the past? Was she ready to move into the future? And if so, what did she want that future to look like?

  SEVENTY-TWO

  Shelby woke to a sunny, cold spring day. When they walked to the mess hall, grass crunched beneath their feet. A light frost had carpeted the grass, the tops of tents, even the leaves on the trees they walked beneath. It was winter’s last hoorah. Summer was on its way. She wasn’t looking forward to months of blistering heat and dry weather, but they had survived it once.

  They would survive it again.

  Before they reached the mess hall, she pulled Carter and Lanh off to the side. The conversation didn’t last long.

  “You two don’t need my permission…”

  “We don’t want to do anything that would hurt the group,” Lanh said.

  “Or you,” Carter added.

  “I know you don’t, and that thoughtfulness shows how much you’ve grown in the past year. This is good, though. It’s what you boys should be doing…oh, what am I saying? You’re men now.” She hugged Lanh and then Carter. “I’m proud of you
both, and I know that what you’re going to be doing here will make a difference. It’s the right thing for you to do. It’s right for all of us.”

  Lanh grinned, and Carter readjusted his black hat.

  She was going to miss both of them so much that it felt like she was leaving a part of herself in New Town. She could tell herself a thousand times that it felt right, that it was right, and that it should happen—but she still struggled with a profound sense of loss. The ache in her heart was like a gaping hole that she couldn’t imagine healing, but the relief on their faces? It eased that ache the tiniest bit.

  “Promise me you’ll write.”

  “There’s no mail,” Carter said.

  “When there is.”

  “Oh. Of course.”

  “Too bad we can’t text.” Lanh led the way into the mess hall.

  “Or Skype. That would be radical.” And then the two started talking about abandoned technology and how it could still be integrated into their new world. Just like that, their minds and attention were on the future. Which was as it should be.

  They filed into line behind their group. Max had filled his plate with fresh eggs, bacon, and grits. Where had they found grits? “Military storage facilities,” Gabe said. The butter was fresh, though, and the coffee strong and hot.

  Shelby told herself that she should eat while she could, but after the second bite, she gave up on that very good intention and focused on consuming two cups of coffee.

  Everything had been loaded into the Hummer the night before.

  All that was left was saying goodbye.

  There were a lot of pats on the back, hugs, promises to be careful, and vows to make it home as soon as the roads opened. Shelby stood back and tried to memorize every aspect of Carter, as if she would ever forget a single detail.

  The right side of his mouth rose slightly higher than the left when he smiled.

  His voice was lower than it had been six months ago.

  He was thin—the word sinewy came to mind—but he was also strong.

  She was astounded that she could love another person as much as she loved her son. It felt physically painful, like her heart had been cleaved in two and part of it resided in the young man standing in front of her.

  When Gabe, Patrick, Bianca, and Max were in the Hummer, she pulled Lanh into a hug and whispered, “Please be careful.”

  “You know we will be.”

  Carter stood there awkwardly for a moment before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a bear hug. She breathed in the scent of him, this man-child who had been the greatest blessing of her life. He ruffled her hair. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, and then she climbed into the vehicle, tears streaming down her face.

  SEVENTY-THREE

  The drive south went smoothly—at first.

  Gabe slowed the Hummer as they passed the station where they’d left the Dodge and the Mustang.

  “Someone should play taps,” Bianca said.

  But it occurred to Shelby that if they hadn’t had the Hummer, their story might have ended there. No, that wasn’t true. They would have walked. They would have somehow made it to New Town. It had been their fate, their destiny, the road that God had prepared for them. How else could she explain finding it? And the fact that they’d reclaimed their vehicles from Hugo, survived the tornado, found the Mars expedition survivors, and outrun the Wild West cast from hell.

  The flare, the deaths, the universal devastation might have shaken that particular aspect of her faith somewhat, but the foundation of what she believed was strong. She could see God’s hand guiding their path. And yes, she realized that was contradictory, but she was learning to accept that at times life was contradictory. You pushed on, regardless.

  They circled Oklahoma City to the east per MacRae’s instructions, which brought them closer to the urban center than they had been before. The sight of the city skyline immediately brought back the certainty that they weren’t in New Town anymore. Furthermore, there was no doubt that the city was dying. Smoke rose from several of the skyscrapers. Abandoned cars stretched for miles filling both the inbound and outbound lanes. The road they were on, the one MacRae had told them about, seemed to be the only through access, and they were only allowed on it because Gabe had shown a piece of paper to the sentries on the northern end. The military had a presence here, but it was a subtle one. Little more than a conduit from one destination to another. Only two lanes had been cleared. The road contained little traffic.

  A few military transports.

  One sedan that must have held someone important because there was a military jeep in front of and behind it.

  “It’s almost as if life is beginning to return to normal,” Bianca said.

  Shelby was again sitting in the middle of the backseat of the Hummer—Max, then Shelby, then Bianca. Gabe was driving, and Patrick was riding shotgun.

  She stared out the front windshield, trying to see what Bianca saw. Trying to find hope in the landscape in front of them. “Except there are no families on this road.”

  “And then we have the burning buildings to the west.” Patrick turned and smiled back at his wife as he said it.

  Max was frowning at something on the horizon.

  Patrick noticed and asked, “What were you and MacRae talking about this morning? At breakfast?”

  “Their need for a court system.”

  “A court system?” Patrick snorted. “Maybe in ten years.”

  “Maybe someone needs to start planning for it now, and maybe it doesn’t need to be the last thing on the list.”

  “Spoken like a lawyer looking for a job,” Patrick teased.

  “Max is right,” Gabe said. “I spoke with the general about that very thing. What they’re doing will work in places with a limited population and good people in charge. Once you get too many people, or you get the wrong people in charge, it’s going to fall apart.”

  In the distance, Shelby spotted what Max had been frowning at. A tent community, throngs of people milling about, a river of humanity flowing out of the burning city. Shelby couldn’t fathom where they were going. She didn’t want to imagine that. She wanted to close her eyes and forget. She wanted to wake up back in High Fields, sequester herself in her little cottage, and sleep for a week.

  “You did the right thing,” Bianca said.

  “I had no choice.”

  “You did. We both know Carter wouldn’t have stayed if you’d asked him to come back.”

  “I keep wondering…what does the future hold for him? What will his life be like?”

  “It’ll be better, Shelby. You know that. MacRae assured us they have adequate medical supplies for the people in New Town, including insulin.”

  And that was the deciding point. How could she argue that Carter’s future was in High Fields?

  Without medication, returning there would be a death sentence. What had Lieutenant Perez said? One to two years before they would branch out to rural towns, and there was no chance that Carter would survive that long on the insulin they had left, even calculating in what the general had given them. She’d made the right decision. Carter had made the right decision, and the fact that Lanh was with him helped.

  Shelby squared her shoulders, determined to focus on the best parts of her son’s future. “Did you notice how excited he was describing wind turbine trees and solar fields?”

  “It’s his world.” Max rubbed at his right temple as he spoke. “Us old folks might understand and certainly appreciate what they design, but it will be their world to grow up in. What we had? Air-conditioning twenty-four/seven, texting, and Amazon deliveries? Those things will be a distant memory.”

  She supposed there were things she wouldn’t miss, but the thought of the life they’d lived before the flare being a distant memory didn’t sit well with her. She pulled out her journal and read over her notes, adding details here and there, correcting spelling, assuring herself that what they’d left behind was real
and not a figment of her imagination.

  The road stretched out in front of them, and they made good time. Shelby felt herself being pulled in two directions. She resisted the distance stretching between her and Carter, and she longed to be back at High Fields.

  She wanted to slow them down and at the same time urge Gabe to drive faster.

  Gabe didn’t drive any faster. They maintained a safe speed of forty-five miles per hour. Each person watched out the vehicle windows, alert for trouble. But there wasn’t any trouble. There was only desolation and emptiness. They all felt it. After the hope and inspiration of New Town, their world seemed all the more shattered.

  They had no trouble crossing into north Texas, once Gabe and Patrick exited the Hummer and spoke to the guards.

  Rejoining the group, both men looked even grimmer, and Shelby understood that this was the dangerous part. They were back in the fray now.

  As Patrick buckled his seat belt, he said, “We’ll be passing far enough west of Dallas that the route should be safe.”

  “No danger of contamination?”

  “Not that far west. The prevailing winds at the time of the blast were to the east. We’ll take a wide path to avoid any problems.”

  “How long?” Shelby asked. “How long until…people can go back into the Dallas area?”

  “Not in our lifetime.” Gabe met Shelby’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “Or Carter’s.”

  They stopped outside of Gainesville, well north of the DFW area, and decided to spend the night a half mile off the road in a grove of oak trees. They’d passed an abandoned gas station and motel, but no one wanted to risk being in a high-profile place. Better to camp in a field, where they could see anything that might be coming toward them.

  As they were eating dinner, Max sat there, paying no attention to the bag that held his MRE.

  “If you’re not going to eat that, I will,” Patrick said.

  Max handed it over without a word, and that was when Shelby realized something was terribly wrong.