Philip and the Mummy

by John Paulits

“And stuff about Indians, too, I think,” Emery added.

  “Shhh,” Leon shushed as they entered the Egyptian room. He beckoned Philip and Emery. “I’ll show you where I got my mummy idea.” He led them to a glass case. In the very center of the case, lay a photo of a mummy. “See, same size as my mummy.”

  “Leon, it’s a picture of a big mummy,” Philip said. “The picture’s small; not the mummy.” Under his breath, Philip added, “Dummy.”

  Emery gave a snorting laugh. “Mummy dummy.”

  “Uncle Harvey didn’t have enough Band-Aids and tissues to make a giant mummy,” Leon pointed out. “Anyway, I used all his tissues. I couldn’t make it any bigger.”

  “Ew,” Emery said with a scowl. “What’s that thing next to it? The little thing. It looks like a bug.”

  “It’s a… a scrabber,” Leon said. “Something like that.”

  Philip bent over the case. “Scrabber? Where does it say scrabber?”

  “It says scarab,” came a girl’s voice from behind them. “You are looking at the holy scarab of ancient Egypt.”

  The boys turned.

  “Jane!” Leon cried.

  “Who?” The girl, who had long black hair with bangs covering her forehead, tilted her head back and glared at Leon.

  “Uh, Cleopatra,” Leon mumbled. “Sorry.”

  “Thank you, Leonubis. Are these your slaves?”

  “We’re not slaves!” Emery cried.

  “And we’re really not his slaves,” Philip added, leaning in to examine the girl’s hair. “What’s going on? Is that your real hair?”

  “This is my Egyptian hair. All right with you?”

  Philip didn’t like the fire he saw in the girl’s eye. “Sure,” he said. “It’s okay with me.”

  Leon tried to explain. “Jane—I mean Cleopatra—plays Egypt with me. Her father teaches people about Egypt.”

  “Leonubis, please. My father is a professor of Egyptology at the university. Get it right.”

  “Her father is the professor of Egyptol… Egyptololology… well, you heard,” Leon said.

  “I am Queen of the Nile, ruler of all Egypt,” Jane went on.

  “She’s the Queen of the Nile, ruler of…”

  “Oh, shut up, Leon,” Philip said. “We heard her.”

  Jane dropped her pose and said, “My father’s talking to the museum boss about something, so I’m allowed to roam around. He knows us, so we got in for free.”

  “My father dropped us here,” Leon explained. “He paid, but we’re roaming around, too. I made a mummy and buried it, like you told me.”

  “Really? No kidding?” Jane said, as she straightened her wig. She and Leon dove into a deep conversation. Philip and Emery walked away.

  “What’s with all of this crazy Egypt stuff?” Philip asked.

  “Take a long car trip with Leon and see how you like it.”

  They moved in front of a long, deep, closed box. Carved into the lid of the box was a full-sized human figure with a bird’s head. The boys studied it.

  “You think people really had bird heads back then?” Emery asked.

  “Why not?” Philip answered. “Lots of people have bird brains today.”

  Emery looked at Philip, and the boys burst out laughing. Heads turned their way and they quieted quickly.

  “Maybe Leon isn’t really a pharaoh,” Emery giggled. “Maybe he’s a bird-brain person in disguise.”

  “Do you know the girl? Did you ever see her before?”

  “Cleopatra?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I see her in school sometimes. You probably do, too. Leon didn’t mention he had a Cleopatra friend on our trip. Look.”

  A short, overweight man with a pointy gray beard chatted with Leon and Jane. He shook Leon’s hand and a moment later walked off with Jane.

  “Must be the girl’s father,” Philip said. The boys returned to Leon.

  “Who’s she?” Philip asked.

  “I told you,” Leon said. “We play Egypt together. She’s in my class at school and lives a couple blocks from me. She told me to make a mummy and bury it. She’s my friend.” A wide smile covered Leon’s face.

  “Did you tell her you were going to bring it to life?” Philip asked.

  “Of course. That’s the part she likes the best. You guys’ll help me, right?”

  Philip rolled his eyes. “Leon, you can’t bring tissues and Band-Aids…”

  “Wait,” Emery interrupted. “We’ll help you. Egypt is fun. Don’t you think so, really?” Emery gave Philip a secret elbow poke.

  Emery had good ideas once in a while. Maybe he had one now, but what it possibly could be, Philip had no idea.

  “Well,” said Philip. “I like mummies and stuff. Did you see the bird-headed people, Leon? There’s one over there.”

  “The box is a sacrofogi or sarcofa-something. I can’t say the word right. Jane wanted to be named Nefer… Nefertootle, I think. But she got mad at me ’cause I couldn’t say it right. There’s a lot of hard words in Egyptian. So she changed her name to Cleopatra. I can say Cleopatra. I saw the bird-head sacoforagus when I came here on the school trip. I wanna go see it again.” Leon hurried off.

  “I have an idea,” Emery said. “I’ll tell you later.”

  “An idea about Leon?”

  “Yeah!” Emery laughed. “It’s a good one, too.”

  Chapter Four

  The next day the boys dropped their books at home after school and went straight to the library. Philip found a book about Egypt in the children’s section, and he and Emery went to a corner table out of the way so they could talk without bothering anyone.

  “You think we can get Leon to believe it?” Philip asked. Emery had revealed his plan the day before.

  “We can but we have to talk about Egypt like we know stuff.” Emery tapped the open book in front of them. “Then we have to make him believe he offended the great Egyptian gods. When we convince him he did, we dig up his mummy and tell him the mummy is angry, and it rose from the dead and is coming after him. You know him. He’ll believe anything.”

  “Maybe we can put the mummy under his pillow,” Philip said with a laugh. “He’ll go nuts.” He opened the book on Egypt. “Let’s learn some of the big words.” He turned to a full page, color photo. “Here’s one of those big boxes.” He and Emery stared at the word.

  “The word’s awfully long,” Emery muttered. “No wonder Leon couldn’t say it.”

  “Take out your phone.” Emery’s mother had given him her cellphone so she could summon him home for dinner. “My dad showed me how to do this. Type in the word.”

  Emery carefully typed: SARCOPHAGUS.

  “Hit enter,” Philip ordered. “There see. Like a dictionary. It says what the word means. See the speaker picture next to it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Tap it.”

  Emery tapped the speaker icon and a loud voice came from the phone: SARCOPHAGUS.

  Heads turned.

  “Lower it; lower it,” Philip said batting his hand at Emery. “Stare at the book. Don’t look around.”

  The boys lowered their heads and didn’t move. After a few moments, Philip looked up. “Okay, nobody’s staring. Did you turn it down?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. Tap it again.”

  Emery tapped the speaker icon.

  “Tap it,” Philip insisted.

  “I did.”

  “I didn’t hear anything. You must have turned it off. Turn it up. A little.”

  “Okay, a little. Ready?”

  Philip nodded.

  SARCOPHAGUS came a tiny voice.

  The boys looked around. Only they had heard.

  “Good. Turn it up a little more. Again,” Philip said, as both boys leaned close to the phone.

  SARCOPHAGUS.

  The boys repeated the word to one another until they had it down.

  Philip turned the page.

  “Oh, there’s the bug thing.” The boys studied
it.

  “It’s got wings and looks exactly like a big bug,” Emery said softly.

  “Type it in,” Philip said.

  Emery typed SCARAB, and the phone said the word.

  “The girl knew how to say it,” Philip said, impressed.

  “Why do you think the Egyptians picked a bug to make jewelry out of?” Emery asked. “Why would they like bugs so much?”

  “Let me read,” Philip said. After a moment or two, he looked at Emery with a sour expression.

  “What?” Emery asked.

  “They eat poop.”

  “Who, Egyptians?”

  “No, not Egyptians. Don’t be stupid. Why would Egyptians eat poop?”

  “’Cause you said. You sure it doesn’t say pop?”

  “What does pop mean? Pop’s not something to eat.”

  “Popsicle, Pop-Tarts, popcorn, soda pop.”

  “Where do you think Egyptians would get popsicles? They lived in the middle of the desert, like a million years ago, without refrigerators. Bugs wouldn’t eat Pop-Tarts and popcorn.”

  “I dropped some popcorn on the floor in the kitchen once, and the next day the popcorn was covered with bugs. My mother didn’t like it.”

  “Emery, what are you talking about? Here, look.” Philip poked his finger on the page. Emery read the paragraph.

  “Ewww. They feed poop to their babies? They must not like them much.”

  “You read what it says. Dung beetle. Whatever that means. Looks like the mothers don’t have to worry much about finding food.”

  “I guess not. You eat something and a little later you eat it again,” Emery said in amazement. “So disgusting. Turn the page. I think we know enough about scarabs.”

  Philip turned the pages until he found a chapter titled Queens of Egypt.

  “There’s Cleopatra,” he said. “Same hair as the girl in the museum. Cleopatra. An easy word. Oh, this must be the queen Leon called Nefertootle. Type it in.”

  NEFERTITI the phone reported.

  When the boys had mastered Nefertiti, Philip said, “Three words are enough, don’t you think? Sarcophagus, scarab, and Nefertiti.”

  “And poop.”

  The boys’ eyes met and they burst out laughing. A nearby librarian shushed them. Philip returned the book to the shelf.

  “My mother just texted me,” Emery said, holding up his phone. “I gotta go. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Leon’s mother called my mother. We’re invited to a birthday party on Saturday.”

  “Whose birthday?”

  “Leon’s friend from the museum. You know, the girl with the Cleopatra wig. My aunt said Leon would tell us about it. We’re invited to his house tomorrow after school.”

  “Good. We can start convincing him he’s made the gods of Egypt angry,” Philip said. “Start thinking up ways.”

  “You, too.”

  Laughing about Leon and scarabs, the boys made their happy way home.

  ~ * ~

  As Philip and Emery approached Leon’s house the next afternoon, they saw his face pressed against the living room window. He opened the front door for them before they even had a chance to knock.

  “Did you hear?” Leon said excitedly. “Cleopatra’s giving a birthday party Saturday. She said I could invite both of you. It’s going to be amazing.”

  “Why so amazing?” Emery asked.

  “It’s a costume birthday party. Everybody has to come dressed as an Egyptian. I already have my costume I made. You saw it. I’m Leonubis, the Pharaoh of Egypt.”

  “You mean the towel and the vulture and cobra pictures?”

  “Yeah! And her father said we could have the party at the museum in a little room they have for parties. He’s real good friends with the museum boss. The party starts at four, and we’re allowed to see the Egypt stuff again after the museum closes at six.”

  Philip poked Emery and said, “Uh oh.”

  Leon’s smile dropped away and his gaze went from Philip to Emery to Philip again. “What’s uh oh?”

  “Leon, are you sure the gods of Egypt want you make fun of them?” Philip asked.

  “Make fun of them? I’m not going to make fun of them.”

  Emery said, “They might think you’re making fun of them if you wear a towel on your head.”

  “Yeah, really,” Philip added. “You never know about gods. They can be very fussy.”

  “But I’m not making fun…” Leon mumbled. “I’ll fix the costume. I’ll find better pictures. It’ll be okay.” Leon’s voice did not sound like he thought it would be okay.

  “Be careful, Leon,” Emery said.

  “Yeah, be real careful,” Philip added. “You don’t want a scarab flying after you.”

  “Or a mummy chasing you,” Emery added.

  “And you don’t want to end up in a sarcophagus filled with snakes because Queen Nefertiti is mad at you.”

  Leon’s forehead wrinkled. “Why would she be mad at me?”

  “Because you called her Nefertootle,” Philip explained.

  Philip and Emery stayed at Leon’s house a few more minutes, during which Leon said very little. Walking home, Philip made a suggestion.

  “Let’s go back to the library,” he said. “Maybe we can find more good Egypt stuff. Can you get your mother’s phone again, in case the words are too long?”

  He and Emery made a stop at Emery’s house, then sped off to the library.

  Chapter Five

  “I hear you have a fancy party coming up on Saturday,” Mr. Felton, Philip’s dad, said.

  Philip shrugged.

  “Your mother said it’s at the museum’s Egyptian exhibit, and everyone has to wear a costume. Sounds pretty fancy to me.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Emery’s cousin Leon knows a girl whose father knows the museum boss.”

  “So I heard. It’s all about who you know, eh?” Mr. Felton said with a smile.

  Philip frowned. “What?”

  “Never mind. Do you have a costume for the party?”

  “No.”

  “So?”

  Philip shrugged again. “I guess I gotta get one. Leon’s wearing a towel on his head.”

  Mr. Felton took a turn frowning. “A towel on his head doesn’t seem like much of a costume. Is he going as an Egyptian who just stepped out of the shower? Look, your mother called me at work this afternoon and told me about your party.”

  “How’d she know? Leon only told Emery and me today after school.”

  “Emery’s mom phoned her. I almost ordered two costumes for you and Emery when I heard, but I thought I better check with you first. The costumes can be here by Friday, if I order them tonight.”

  “What kind of costumes?” Philip asked, worried his father might be on the verge of doing something weird.

  “Egyptian costumes, of course. They’ll be much better than putting a towel on your head. Don’t tell Leon I said so.”

  “Show me.” Philip’s concern increased. If his father was willing to pay money for two costumes, it meant he and Emery would absolutely have to wear them. “Boys’ costumes, right?”

  “I did manage to remember you and Emery were boys, yes. Here, sit.” Mr. Felton patted the sofa.

  Philip took a seat and waited for his father to get his computer. His father sat down next to him and tapped the keys.

  “There, this one,” his father said proudly. “What do you think?”

  Philip saw an Amazon page headed For Boys 7-9. A boy wore a long, black gown with a wide, round, gold collar and a thick golden belt. On the boy’s head was the official Egyptian headdress complete with the cobra and vulture.

  “What do you think?” Mr. Felton asked.

  Philip nodded, relieved. “Not bad.”

  His father said, “They call it a pharaoh suit, and I guarantee you nobody will have a better looking costume. Best of all, you don’t have to wear it until you get there. You take it with you and put it on right over your clothes when you arrive. You can take it off before you leave so you d
on’t have to walk the city streets looking like an ancient Egyptian.”

  “I like it,” Philip said honestly. He had his eye on something else, though. Below the picture of the boy in the pharaoh suit was a girl in a Cleopatra costume, which Philip skipped over. Below Cleopatra was a much more interesting image.

  BOY’S ANCIENT EGYPTIAN MUMMY COSTUME

  The costume was white and made to look like a lot of bandages. Some of the bandages even hung loose. Except for a narrow slit to see out of, the costume covered the boy from the top of his head down to bandage-y looking white boots. Philip pointed to the mummy costume.

  “Dad, can you get me this one for… for next Halloween?”

  “The mummy? Halloween’s five months off.”

  “I know, but if you’re going to order the pharaoh suits, you might as well get the mummy costume at the same time.”

  “Why can’t you be an Egyptian pharaoh for Halloween?”

  “Dad! Halloween is for scary costumes. What’s scarier? A pharaoh or a mummy?”

  “Well, you’ve got me there.”

  “You’ll order it, then?”

  Mr. Felton sighed. “I suppose. Now scram before you see something else you like.”

  Philip couldn’t wait to give Emery the news.

  ~ * ~

  The next day after school, Philip and Emery met in the empty space in Mrs. Discher’s bushes.

  “Leon’s coming here today,” Emery reported.

  “Leon? Why’s he coming?”

  “My mother said. I think his mother wants to get rid of him. He’s bringing more of his nutty Egypt ideas. He thinks…”

  A shuffling sound and a shake of the bushes interrupted Emery.

  “Hi, guys. I’m here.”

  “We see you, Leon,” Philip said.

  Leon looked over the space. “This place is perfect.”

  “Perfect for what?” Philip asked.

  “We need a pyramid, and this can be it,” Leon said.

  “Why do we need a pyramid?” Emery asked. “Didn’t the Egyptians put their dead pharaohs into pyramids?”

  “Right, Leon. We don’t want any dead people lying around in here,” Philip argued. “There’s hardly enough room for us.”

  “Yeah, they did,” Leon said, getting excited. “But the pharaohs built them when they were alive. They used lots of slaves. Hey! I have an idea. If you don’t want here to be our pyramid, you guys could be the slaves of Leonubis and you could build me…”