by S. E. Lund
After the session, Lisa left with Brodinski, and that would be it until later that day when I was enroute from the clinic where I was seeing my patients in my office.
Lisa caught up with me. “Care to go for a coffee?”
I turned to her. “Sorry,” I said as politely as I could. “I have to get through a lot of material before the end of the day.” I shrugged and walked on a little faster. She kept up beside me, despite how brusque I was trying to be. We arrived at the elevator, and I pressed the elevator button.
She turned to me. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you alone.”
“Oh?” I said, feigning an ease I didn’t feel.
“Yes,” she said and stood a bit closer, her voice lower. “You don’t remember me?”
I shook my head and forced a smile. “Sorry. I know you were at NYP for your internship, if that’s what you mean.”
“Well, I was wearing a mask the first time we met.”
I frowned and turned to her, glancing over her, trying to recall…
People wore masks all the time at dungeon parties, if they didn’t want to be recognized.
Had we been at a dungeon party together?
“A mask? Did we meet at a Halloween party?” I said, trying to play dumb in case I was wrong.
“Well, it was a party, but not for Halloween…We have mutual friends and I’ve heard a lot about you.” She smiled.
“Oh, really?” I said as the doors to the elevator opened. “Who’s that?”
She smiled coyly. “Derek Richardson.”
That stopped me in my tracks, but I tried to recover, entering the elevator and turning to face the bank of buttons. I didn’t reply.
“You must remember him,” Lisa said, following me on to the empty elevator. Her voice dropping a register. “He has a huge mansion in Yonkers?”
“Richardson?” I said softly, wondering how well she knew Richardson. He was one of the wealthier men I knew in the lifestyle and hosted a monthly dungeon party at his home. I’d attended many times and had taken Kate there after we started our relationship.
I felt a thrill of adrenaline and a pall of dread that she knew me from that life. Worse, that I might have topped her at some point but couldn’t remember when. We left the elevator and went down the hallway to my office.
I thought back to my interactions with Richardson. I’d topped a few of his submissives.
“Yes,” she said. “He’s a…” she said and paused, smiling, “very special friend of mine. You and I have a lot of interests in common.”
I nodded, and tried to keep my voice calm. “I haven’t seen Richardson for a while,” I said lightly, fighting a sense of dread. “He’s still in Yonkers?”
“Yes,” Lisa said. “We’re not together any longer, but I did my apprenticeship with him.”
I shook my head. “I’ve been out of the country for the past six months.” I felt a knot in my gut. How was this going to affect my fellowship? Could we work together and more importantly, had I topped her in the past? She had to be a submissive…
“Well, it’s nice to finally meet Doctor D.” She smiled again and went off down the hallway.
The way she said Doctor, emphasizing it, could only mean she was referring to my other alias, Master D.
If she knew Richardson and had been his submissive, and if I had topped her, she knew who I was and what I was. It sent a shiver down my spine at the prospect that one of my students might know of my background in BDSM, and worse, that I might have topped her at a play party.
I tried to push that thought out of my mind and not expect the worst, but I had a bad feeling about it that I couldn’t shake.
Later, after I’d seen my patients, I went back to the ward to check on those I had already operated on the previous few days. I stopped in at each room and spoke with the patients, checking out their incisions, and asking how they were feeling, reading the patient charts and the nursing notes on the patient’s progress. Everything was going smoothly, and I felt positive that if I kept the right attitude, I’d be able to manage the semester with Lisa Monroe present.
I had enough on my mind with my wedding to my beautiful, loving fiancée coming up, my fellowship and my practice. Life was good.
On my way out of the ward, Lisa caught up with me again. I sighed, frustrated that she seemed intent on following me around.
“Hey, Drake,” she said and caught up with me, despite how fast I was walking down the hallway trying to avoid her.
“Hello, Lisa,” I said, pushing the door to the stairwell open so hard it slammed against the wall. “Sorry, I can’t talk, gotta run.”
She didn’t take the hint and followed me down the stairs.
“Come on, Drake,” she said playfully. “Be collegial. We have so much to talk about. Why don’t you come for coffee and we can talk about our mutual interests?”
I stopped when I reached the landing, my hand on the door. “Sorry,” I said softly. “I’m busy and can’t stop. Got some research to catch up on.”
I left the stairwell and of course she followed me out. When I arrived at my office, I used my key card in the lock, hoping beyond hope that she’d take the hint. She didn’t follow me or respond, so she must have. When I opened the door, I glanced down the hallway to see her still standing there, her face determined.
She did not look happy. Not at all.
Something in the way she looked made me feel a little uneasy, like I was making a mistake I’d regret down the road.
I shoved it into the back of my mind, determined not to let her affect my day at all.
Still, a sense of gloom hung over me whenever I was at NYU, in case I ran into her or she tried to be friendly. Usually, I could handle these things quite well, but with Lisa, I was uncertain how much she knew about me. If she knew nothing and merely was trying to be collegial, I hoped I didn’t come off as unfriendly. If she knew everything, I didn’t want to be too dismissive. I wanted my private life to remain private and if she was angry with me, she could cause problems.
Things were going well for the next week. Lisa seemed preoccupied with her own work, and so I relaxed and even accepted an invitation from Fred to go out with the new residents to a local pub for a drink after we’d all finished for the day.
Big mistake.
I made sure not to sit next to Lisa, but during the hour, with people getting up for more drinks or to use the washroom, seating changed and down plopped Lisa beside me when the seat became empty.
“Lisa,” I said, trying to be polite but slightly cool.
“Drake,” she said and held up her glass of draft. “Let’s toast,” she said, a slight slur in her words.
“To what shall we toast?” I asked, trying to humour her.
“To our mutual interests,” she said and wagged her eyebrows, then she turned to the other residents, “to neurosurgery, of course!”
They all raised their glasses and repeated To neurosurgery! With slightly tipsy enthusiasm.
“Drake moves in the same circles as my former boyfriend, a big financier type on Wall Street,” Lisa said, turning to me with a smile. “He may come off as a mild-mannered neurosurgeon, but he’s actually a very rich man with connections. He was also at NYP when I was there. I know quite a few tales of Dr. Delish. You had other names as well, didn’t you?”
The other residents tittered at that. I was sure my Dr. Dangerous moniker also followed me around. A few bent together to comment in private.
“I have no idea what the nurses called me behind my back,” I said with a laugh, trying to be a good sport.
“Oh, come on, Drake,” Lisa said, punching my shoulder playfully. “Don’t be so coy. Doctor Dangerous, right?” She wagged her eyebrows suggestively and took a big drink of her beer.
I didn’t say anything, but the other students seemed slightly uneasy after that mention of my other nickname. It was private and Lisa shouldn’t have been talking about it, but she’d had quite a few glasses of beer and her voice was g
etting louder by the moment and the more she drank.
“Now, don’t be giving away all my secrets,” I said, trying to lighten the mood, smiling at the others.
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of giving away your secrets, Doctor D,” Lisa said and raised her eyebrows again. “Although they are juicy, now, aren’t they?” She turned to the others. “Drake’s quite the lady’s man, aren’t you Drake? Kept a list of those who like a certain kind of man, if I remember correctly…”
Of course the atmosphere become suddenly very awkward and I saw expressions of discomfort on the faces of my colleagues. Lisa seemed oblivious to the way the mood had changed almost instantly. Everyone at that table knew that Lisa was drunk and was embarrassing us both.
“I’m going to be a happily married man next week,” I said, trying to make light of it. “So those days are gone. Thank God,” I said and raised my glass to the others. A few of the other residents raised their glass and we drank our drinks in an awkward silence.
Fred saved the day, saying something about the game being broadcast on the television in the corner of the bar and thankfully, that drew everyone’s attention away from Lisa and me. I leaned closer to Lisa, my mouth by her ear.
“I think you’ve had too much to drink,” I said softly.
“Who are you to say that?” she said in a too-loud voice and frowned. “I’m perfectly in control of myself, thank you. Just because I’m not a control freak like you…”
“Lisa,” I said and squeezed her arm gently to try to get her to come to her senses. “Please, don’t make a scene…”
She pulled her arm away. “You think I’ve had too much to drink and don’t want me to make a scene? Drive me home, then,” she said, her eyes narrowed.
“I’m not driving you home,” I said, trying to keep my anger contained. “ But I will call you a taxi.”
“Very well,” she said and held up her nearly empty glass. “Waitress,” she called out in an even louder voice. “Another one, please.”
“Lisa, I think you’ve had enough,” I said more firmly. “You’re with your colleagues and your supervisor…”
She turned to me, her eyes hard. “Give me a ride home then,” she said between gritted teeth. “We can talk about our mutual interests.”
“It’s time to go,” I muttered and stood up, buttoning my jacket. “I’m going to give Lisa a ride home,” I said to the others and nodded to Fred, who had an exasperated expression on his face.
“Maybe I should,” he said and stood as well.
“I’m going with Drake,” Lisa said and stood up beside me. “We’re going to talk about the things we have in common, aren’t we, Drake?” she said and turned to me, leaning slightly against me. I held her back, my arms on her shoulders.
“It’s all right,” I said to Fred. “See you in the morning.”
With that, I escorted a drunk Lisa out of the pub, my arm under hers, pulling her slightly behind me. I was trying to hold in my anger, trying to control my emotions, but it wasn’t easy.
I had a very bad feeling as I brought Lisa to my car and helped her inside. I went around to the driver’s side and got in, fastening my seat belt, my jaw way too firmly clenched. I took in a deep breath and tried to relax, closing my eyes for a moment, my hands on the wheel. I was the adult in this situation and I wasn’t going to let a drunken woman make me act as anything else.
After she gave me the address, we drove in silence through the still-busy Manhattan streets to the residence apartment building at NYU where Lisa was living. When we pulled up, I put the car in park, and waited for her to get out.
“Aren’t you going to come up for a nightcap?” she said, a sloppy smile on her lips. “We could carry on the conversation.”
“I’m getting married in a week, Lisa,” I said, my muscles tensing. “Go on up,” I said softly but determinedly. “I’ll see you at the hospital.”
“You come up, help a lady out,” she said. “Aren’t you going to be chivalrous and make sure I get into my apartment safely?”
I shook my head. “I doubt you’re a woman who needs a man to look after her,” I said and leaned over to open her door. “Good night.”
“You know,” she said, her voice taut. “Considering how much I know about your secret life, I’d think you’d be a lot nicer to me.”
I gritted my teeth without thinking. “Is that a threat?”
She sighed and grabbed my hand. “Drake,” she said, her voice pleading. “Why can’t we be friends? We share so much in common – neurosurgery, we’re both in the lifestyle and—.”
“And nothing is going to happen,” I said and pointed out the door. “Please go. I have a beautiful fiancée waiting for me back home.”
She narrowed her eyes and stared into mine. “I could ruin you. I’d think you’d be a lot nicer to me, considering…”
I said nothing but glared at her, adrenaline flowing through me, making my heart race.
“Do you actually think you can blackmail me into a relationship?”
“No,” she said, her voice sounding pleading again, “Drake, don’t be like this. All I want is for us to be friends. That’s all.”
“Lisa, I’m getting married next week to the only woman friend I need. I don’t have women friends.”
“What would Fred Parker think of your preference for tying up women during sex? Flogging? Caning?”
I turned to her, almost seeing red I was so angry. “I am not a sadist. I don’t do pain. If you know Richardson, you know that.”
“Fred doesn’t. Who do you think he’d believe? Me? Or maybe Richardson?” She wagged her eyebrows.
“You better get out right now,” I said, barely controlling my voice.
“Or what? You’ll hit me?” she said, her eyes bright. “Maybe cane cane me? Or do you prefer a flogger?”
“I never hit women,” I said in a low voice, and then I thought to myself about spanking Kate in fun the other night. I thought about spanking Kate at the dungeon party.
“Sunita might have something to stay about that.”
That sent a chill through me. She knew Sunita… of course. I thought about the images Sunita probably had on her computer. I thought about the videos Sunita had taken of us playing. My face had been off screen, but she could still raise suspicions.
If Lisa wanted to hurt me, she could – very easily.
“Why are you doing this?” I said, desperate to think of a way to placate her without giving in. “If you’re in the lifestyle, you know this is highly unacceptable. We barely know each other. I’m getting married. I’m not interested in you or anyone else besides my fiancée.”
“Because I want us to be friends. I want you to be nice to me.”
“I am nice to you. I can’t be your friend. We can be colleagues only. Nothing more.”
“That’s all I want, Drake,” she said, her voice pleading. “We do things together, coffee, lunch, talking about work…”
“I can’t do this. I’m in love with my fiancée. I’m marrying her next week.”
“You have to be nice to me,” she said and shook her head, as if she had made up her mind. “You’re going to be nice to me. You’re going to walk with me down the halls when we’re working together. You’re going to make small talk with me the way you would anyone else. You’re going to have coffee with me in the break room the way you do the other residents. We’ll have lunch together occasionally and after work, we’ll go to the pub and—.”
“Lisa,” I said, exasperated. “You can’t force someone to be your friend or love you. It won’t be real. It’ll be an act.”
“I’m not a bad person, Drake.”
“I never said you were.” I sighed. “You’re my colleague. That’s all.”
I told myself that she was a bright, talented and skilled surgical resident who was a bit drunk and not thinking straight. She wasn’t a bad person at base but she was acting unbalanced as if she couldn’t accept that I didn’t need her as a friend – or want h
er as a friend.
“You must be nice to me,” she said and tried to take my hand. I pulled mine away but she actually fought to hold it. “I want you to be nice to me, Drake.”
I managed to pull my hand away and shook my head, at a total loss. She couldn’t seem to realize how much she’d screwed things up between us by threatening me with exposure. How could we ever be friends, given her threat, empty or otherwise?
A normal person would understand that.
She was going to try to force me to be intimate with her. She said it was all about friendship, but I could tell by the way she tried to touch me that she’d expect more.
“Good night, Lisa,” I said, not even glancing at her. She sat in silence for a moment, and then she let out a sigh.
“See you tomorrow,” she said brightly. “I expect you to have lunch with me. We can talk about Sunita.”
I said nothing and she actually leaned over as if she were going to kiss me. I pulled away and she reacted with a laugh.
“So afraid of a little kiss, Drake?” she said, her voice tinged with hurt. “Afraid if you let me get too close, you won’t be able to resist?”
I kept my voice firm, in control and repeated myself. “Good night, Lisa.”
Finally, she left the car and I drove off, not even making sure she made it to her front door. I was so upset, so angered, that I actually squealed my tires as I drove off.
When I arrived home, I didn’t say anything to Kate about Lisa. I’d wait and talk to her after the honeymoon. I did not want her upset about this the week before the wedding. Instead, I sent Richardson a text, asking about Lisa, hoping he’d jog my memory about her so I would know how best to deal with her.
I went to bed with too much on my mind, and sleep was a long time in coming.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Kate
The first few weeks back in Manhattan passed like a dream. I was busy trying to get back into the rhythm of research and working on my thesis, Drake was busy with the fellowship and fitting everything in with his own schedule, and our wedding was fast approaching.