by S. E. Lund
A week before the wedding, I was rushing around trying to get everything ready for the shower and rehearsal dinner the night before the ceremony and then the reception for my family after the ceremony. I was in a small grocery store a few blocks from the apartment when who should I see walking down the aisle towards me but Dawn…
I felt like turning around and going the other way, not acknowledging her, but I knew I couldn’t do that. Instead I put on a happy face, took in a deep breath, and went down the aisle to meet her.
“Dawn,” I said and smiled.
I wasn’t sure what to say after that. She smiled as well and held her arms out to me.
“Give me a hug,” she said and came towards me. I couldn’t escape and so the two of us hugged, despite being completely ambivalent on my part. It should have felt good but it didn’t. It felt painful, because of how much we’d lost due to her intolerance. At the same time, the feel of her arms around me made me choke up with emotion. It had been so long since the two of us had been friends. Since that night I met Drake, almost a year earlier, I felt like I missed out on so much, not having a best female friend with me all the way, but at the same time, she wasn’t a good friend to me. Given how she tried to sabotage my relationship with Drake, I was probably better off without her in my life.
She tried to break us up and for that I could never really forgive her or trust her again.
“So, when is the big day? It’s soon, isn’t it?” she said, her eyes wide.
“Yes,” I said and smiled. “It’s two weeks from Saturday. I’m here to pick up some things for my bridal shower. I’m organizing it.”
She frowned. “It should be me doing that, you know. Don’t you have a cousin or someone else to do it? It’s traditional for someone besides the bride to do the shower preparations.”
“I don’t have you anymore,” I said bitterly, unable to keep my sadness in check, despite how happy I was to be getting married. “Elaine’s already doing so much, and she has my father to look after now, so it’s up to me.”
“Doesn’t Drake have any sisters or brothers? What about his family?”
I exhaled in frustration. “You’d know if you and I were friends, that he was an only child and his father died a few years ago. His mother left when he was a child.”
She frowned. “That’s sad,” she said. “He isn’t in touch with his mother?”
I shook my head. “She abandoned him,” I said and sighed. “He hasn’t seen or heard from her since she left. She never recovered from losing Drake’s older brother Liam to a rare kind of childhood leukemia.”
“Didn’t Drake’s son have leukemia?” Dawn asked. “I heard something through the grapevine at work.”
I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “Drake was a stem cell donor and it probably saved Liam’s life.”
“Wow,” Dawn said, raising her eyebrows. “That’s impressive.”
“He’s an impressive man, Dawn. Too bad you were too busy trying to break us up for you to get to know my fiancé.”
She shrugged and made a face of regret. “Sorry,” she said. “I thought I was looking out for you.”
I looked at her through narrowed eyes. “I hear you were at a Doctors Without Borders event with Kurt.”
She sighed heavily and dramatically. “News sure gets around… Who told you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’m surprised you’d consider dating him. He’s even more kinky than Drake.”
She held her hands up and shook her head, not meeting my eyes. “I was wrong about all that,” she said softly. “I understand a lot more now than I did back when you were first seeing Drake. I didn’t know there were Dominants who weren’t sadists.”
“You’d have known if you did some research.”
“Kate, you know my family,” she said, a frown on her face. “I’m extra sensitive about domestic violence. I thought—.”
“You didn’t think,” I said angrily. “You reacted. Then you became defensive. You wouldn’t listen to reason.”
“I know, I know,” she said dramatically. “I never understood. I didn’t want to understand. It was a knee-jerk reaction because of my sister. My mom—.”
“I know, but you have to stop and think what you threatened to do,” I said, frustrated that she thought she could just apologize and everything would be great. “You threatened to report Drake to the hospital. What do you think would happen if the administration learned about his private life? Even though he’s not into pain, no one would make the distinction. He’d lose his privileges. Then you’d lose me.”
“I already did,” she said in a small voice. She looked at me with a sad expression in her eyes and I could see real pain in them.
I held up my hands, not wanting to continue with this debate any longer. “I have to go,” I said. “I have things to do and I can’t argue with you about this.”
Dawn stood there looking totally dejected, her shoulders slumped, frowning. “You won’t forgive me? Not even considering everything we’ve been through?”
I exhaled heavily. “You might have given me the benefit of the doubt, considering everything we’ve been through, but you didn’t.”
I shoved a box of corn starch in the basket. “Goodbye,” I said and turned away, walking down the aisle to the cash register. I was so flustered, I handed the clerk my driver’s license instead of my credit card and she held it and shook her head.
“This won’t work,” she said and handed it back.
“Sorry,” I said and took it back, giving her some cash instead.
I left the store as quickly as I could, breathing in deeply once I was outside in the cool October air. I walked back to the apartment and when I got upstairs, Drake was there in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink.
I went right up to him and kissed him and he smiled as he pulled me against his body.
“You’re off early,” I said when he broke the kiss. “I thought you worked evenings this week.”
“I traded OR time with another surgeon so I could have the rest of the day off. We have a lot of prep to do before the wedding.”
“How’s the fellowship going?”
Drake started to take things out of the grocery bags and put them away.
“Great, so far. I’m ghosting one of the senior docs and I'm scrubbing in on all his cases, plus supervising residents. I was lucky to get a lot of experience in Africa working with Michael, so I feel pretty good about things so far.”
“Good,” I said, and helped him empty grocery bags.
Drake pulled out the container of corn starch I’d picked up on the shelf in my hurry to get away from Dawn. He held it up and frowned.
“Corn starch?” he said and examined the container. “Don’t we have some? What do you need corn starch for?”
“Nothing that I know of,” I said and shrugged. “I was distracted.”
“How come?”
I sighed and debated whether to tell him but decided that I had to be completely open with him. “Guess who I met at the store?”
He turned to me, his eyes wide. “I have no idea…”
“Dawn.”
“Ahh,” he said and raised his eyebrows. “But corn starch?”
I smiled ruefully. “I was trying to escape and I think it used it as a prop. I wasn’t really thinking and just grabbed something off the shelf so I could leave.”
Drake smiled and put the corn starch in the cabinet beside the other container. “I get it. So, what did she say?”
“I honestly don’t remember but she admitted that she was seeing Kurt and apologized for not understanding about the difference between sadists and Dominants and that the two aren’t always the same.”
Drake nodded. “Are you going to invite her to the wedding?” he said softly.
“Of course not,” I said and frowned. “It doesn’t matter how sorry she is now, or who she dates. She would have hurt you, damaged your career, back when she was trying to break us up. She was behaving irrationa
lly and not like a true friend.”
“She was,” Drake admitted. “But everyone makes mistakes. If it makes you happy, I’d be fine with you two becoming friends again.”
“What?” I said, completely surprised. “After what she threatened to do to you?”
He nodded. “Yes, even after that. She didn’t do it. Besides, she came from an abusive family. She thought what we had was abuse. It makes a lot of sense when you consider her experiences.”
I stood without saying anything for a moment. Truthfully, I ached to have a friend share my wedding planning. I loved planning things with Drake and Elaine, but there was this place in my life for a best female friend that was empty. There were a couple of women I knew through the journalism program at Columbia, but they weren’t the kind of friends who would become personally involved in a thing like planning my wedding.
No, it was Dawn or no one. I was surprised that Drake would encourage me to befriend Dawn once more but perhaps he was more forgiving than I knew.
“I thought you said she was unpredictable,” I said, remembering our discussion about Dawn back when I found out she’d been seeing Kurt.
“She is, but her experience with domestic abuse explains that. She’ll be rigid in her thinking as a result. I know enough about psychological trauma to understand that.”
He came to me and took me by the shoulders. “Why don’t you have coffee with her or a drink? Give her a chance. If she says anything that makes you uncomfortable, you can always end things and not move forward.”
I looked up into his blue eyes, so calm and secure, and felt my heart swell with love for him.
“Maybe I will after the wedding,” I said and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. He kissed me back tenderly. “I don’t want to feel obligated to invite her to the wedding in case she really isn’t serious about making amends. Thank you for suggesting it. For being okay with it. I still don’t understand why you’d do it.”
“Because I love you,” he said and kissed me again. “I want you to be happy. If that means you and Dawn become friends again, I’m okay with that. Sometimes your biggest detractors can become your biggest supporters.”
I shook my head, still in disbelief that he was truly okay with me re-establishing a friendship with Dawn.
“We’ll see,” I said and played with his collar. “I’m not sure I can forgive her. I’ll play it by ear.”
“It’s up to you,” Drake said and then leaned back against the island, pulling me against him. “In other news, things are set for my bachelor party.”
I grinned up at him. “Oh, yeah? I hope there won’t be any lap dancing hookers or anything…”
“Not a chance,” Drake said and laughed. He tickled me and I squirmed in his arms, giggling. “I told Ken that I want to go for an old fashioned shave with hot towels and a real razor and then go to a martini and cigar bar to have drinks and dinner, maybe go to a live band, but that’s it. No girls. No excessive drinking. I’m a grown up and so is he.”
“Oh, don’t shave your whiskers off,” I said and held his face in my hands. “I love your scruff. It makes you look slightly rakish, and don’t you dare cut your hair short. I love it this length,” I said and ran my fingers through his hair.”
“As you command,” Drake said with a grin.
“Please?” I added, and bit my lip.
“I’ll just get the barber to clean up any errant whiskers, if it pleases you.”
“It would please me.” I put another item away in the cabinet. “I won’t be having a bachelorette party,” I said with a sigh. “But Elaine is organizing a nice sort-of shower for me, including a luncheon. Christie will be there, too. We’ll go to a spa, have a mani/pedi and massage, and then a nice lunch.”
Drake sighed as well. “If you and Dawn were still friends, she’d do something for you.”
I didn’t say anything, although that was exactly what I said to Dawn in the grocery store.
“Oh, well,” I said, resigned to it. “That’s life. I’m sure I’ll have a nice time with Elaine and Christie.”
He nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “We’ll have a nice quiet wedding at your dad’s. Dinner at The Russian Tea Room afterwards. And then we’ll stay at The Ritz. Our flight leaves in the afternoon, so we’ll have a nice leisurely Sunday morning and then we’ll be in Nassau for seven glorious days.”
“I wish we could stay longer,” I said, “but I have work to do and so do you.”
I felt guilty that we had to cut our stay short but I had work to turn in to my thesis advisor and didn’t want to miss any deadlines.
“I do as well,” Drake said and kissed me. “We’ll have a nice time no matter how long we stay.”
We cooked a meal and sat down to eat it, two candles burning between us offering some warm candlelight.
Later, after we cleared up from dinner, we sat in the living room together.
“How are you progressing on your to-do list?” Drake asked.
“I’m almost done. All that’s left is to pack my overnight bag,” I said and snuggled closer to him. “For the night before the wedding.”
“Why do you need that packed?” Drake said, frowning.
I glanced at him, surprised that he didn’t know about it. “It’s tradition to not stay with the groom for the entire day before the wedding so I’ll stay at my dad’s place.”
“What?” Drake said and shook his head. “ Nonsense. You live with me. I said I didn’t want to be parted from you again, and I meant it. No,” he said and sliced his hand down against the other in a chopping motion. “You’re staying with me. End of story.”
“Drake,” I said, amused at his insistence, but determined to follow proper protocol. “I can’t see you from the night before the wedding until I walk down the aisle. It’s bad luck.”
“Luck, schmuck,” he said. “I’m a scientist, not a superstitious caveman. We’re not going to be parted ever again, do you hear that?” He took hold of my chin and stared down into my eyes. "I said I didn't want us to be separated again, and I want it to stay that way. To hell with your silly superstition. I'm a scientist, and there's simply no convincing evidence that allowing the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony leads to a failed marriage."
"But it’s a tradition!” I protested.
"It's a tradition based on a time when the bride and groom had never even seen each other and was intended to prevent one or the other from running off in horror when they did. We've both already seen every single naked inch of each other so there's no fear of that. Besides, look what happened to my first marriage. We followed all the rules."
I heard the insistence in his voice. It wasn’t a playful tone at all, but was instead serious. I had thought nothing of us being parted the night before the wedding since it was tradition, even for couples who lived together – if they could arrange it. Although this wasn’t going to be a huge wedding or society affair, given my father’s illness and my desire to be private, I wanted to follow the rules.
“It will be for less than twenty-four hours…”
He shook his head. “That’s still too long.”
“Think of it as you having to stay all night at the hospital because of a patient. We’ve been separated several times because of that.” I stood up to go to the bathroom and he stood up beside me.
“That’s entirely different,” he said with a frown. “I came home as soon as I could and got into bed with you. This way, I’ll spend the entire night alone. I don’t like it,” he said and was really serious about it.
I ran my hands over his shoulders and decided not to fight with him over this right then. “We’ll discuss this later,” I said.
“Now, please,” he said. “Tell me you’ll spend the night here. I can blindfold you if you really don’t want to see me the night before or the day of. I’m pretty handy with a blindfold,” he said with a wicked grin.
I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly. “You are an expert with
a blindfold.”
“I am,” he said and grinned back finally. “So it’s settled?”
“We’ll talk…” I said, unwilling to give in so quickly. Then I slipped past his arms, which were reaching out to stop me. Luckily, I was fast and sidled by him, rushing to the bathroom, giggling as he tried to catch me.
He did, finally, and held me firmly from behind, his mouth at my ear. “Ms. Bennet, you’re a very bad girl. Do I have to spank you?”
“For punishment or pleasure?”
“Do you deserve to be punished?” he said, his voice playful.
“No,” I said quickly, slipping out of his arms. “I don’t. I’ve been a very very good girl.”
“Oh, yes? How have you been very very good?” He had a very suggestive expression in his eyes.
“I’ve caught up all my work at Columbia, I have everything ready for my wedding, and I’ve arranged for our honeymoon,” I said, my hands on my hips, trying to look as authoritative as possible. “I think I deserve to be rewarded.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” he replied, smirking. “Who am I to refuse you your just reward?”
Then he grabbed me and tickled me until I squealed like a child. I collapsed in laughter when he actually picked me up and carried me over his shoulder to the bed he-man style. He threw me down so that I bounced on the mattress, and then he lay on top of me, his arms on either side of my shoulders, his face directly above mine.
“Now, Ms. Bennet, I’m going to give you your just deserts.”
Of course, at that moment, Drake’s cell rang.
“Crap,” he said and closed his eyes. The tone was shrill and sounded different from the usual ring tone. “That’s the hospital. I have to answer.”
“I thought you said you traded shifts…”
“I did, but I still have patients in the hospital.”
He rolled off me and sat on the side of the bed, removing his cell from his pocket. I lay waiting, curious to hear what the problem was.
“Doctor Morgan,” he said and listened, his hand running through his hair. “Yes, yes, that’s right. Of course. Right away.” He shut off his cell and then turned to me, an expression of regret on his face. “A patient developed complications after surgery. I have to go.”