Unbreakable (Unrestrained #4)

by S. E. Lund

  I wondered about visiting with Michael and Claire in Nairobi while we were in Kenya. I had such a bad experience with her and did not want to have to see her again, but I’d suffer to make Drake happy, if it meant Drake and Michael could get together and have a nice visit. Claire’s machinations had nothing to do with Michael and so I didn’t want to come between the two men.

  Then, I turned my focus on flights and hotels on the way there and back. Drake said the last two weeks in February might be a good time since a lot of people planned holidays during that time period in anticipation of March break. I took a chance and picked two dates for departure and return and soon, I had picked our flights and printed off our itinerary and digital tickets. I was excited for it would be a meaningful trip for us both.

  So I had one present taken care of and now I wondered what else I could get for Drake for Christmas. I wanted something else to put under the tree. Finding another gift was going to be hard. Drake lacked nothing. What did he want? I thought about what was missing in his life. He had everything else he could ever want in terms of possessions. No clothes, no toys, nothing.

  The only thing I could think of was that he was missing his mother in his life and of course, Liam, his son. I doubted there was anything I could do about either. Maureen and Chris were so antagonistic towards Drake that they would never let him be a part of Liam’s life. I thought maybe Maureen might give me a photograph or two of Liam that Drake could keep but I was afraid of causing problems. Still, it was worth a try. I knew that Drake probably had Maureen’s number on his cell and so I decided to see if he had her email or phone number in his contacts. I hated to be sneaky, but if it was going to cause problems, I hoped I could keep it limited, so Drake wouldn’t get upset.

  I planned to take Drake’s phone and check his contacts when he was in the shower later that night. I’d call Maureen and see if she’d at least agree to send a photo or two that I could have framed.

  That left only Drake’s mother, Louise. I only learned her name because I saw Drake’s birth announcement in an old photo album we found when we were sorting through his father’s things after we were married. A small card with elephants and balloons, with a blue “It’s A Boy!” and the details inside – Drake Liam Morgan, son of Liam and Louise Morgan…

  I wondered about Louise. Drake had no photos of her, nor any mementos. It was as if she never existed. I hoped Drake would open up about her after we were married but he seemed to keep that part of his past buried down deep. He had no living siblings and whatever uncles or aunts existed, Drake never visited. I had the sense Drake was actually a very lonely man at the base. It felt so wonderful to become his wife and to be one of the very few people to really get close to him. He’d been so restricted in his relationships since his divorce. I could see him blossoming as a man and as a human since we met, and he was already pretty special as a person before. A talented neurosurgeon and musician, a philanthropist, and a professor of surgery.

  He had the professional part of his life all figured out. It was his heart that he kept protected. Slowly, I thought I saw that part of him open up as well. I’d do everything in my power to make him as happy as he could possibly be.

  Later, when Drake came home, I snuck to his desk while he was in the shower and picked up his cell, scrolling through his contacts in search of Maureen’s cell number. I found it, and wrote down her email as well. I’d see if she’d agree to send a photo of Liam that I could have framed for a gift. I was probably crazy thinking that she’d be willing, but a part of me felt I had to try. Although Drake never knew Liam, he had saved the boy’s life. Giving Drake a photo of him was the least she could do.

  At least, I thought so. Maureen might have a different idea.

  The next day, when Drake left for work, I sat at my desk and wrote Maureen an email:

  Dear Maureen:

  I hope you don’t mind that I’m emailing you, and I understand you don’t want Drake to be a part of Liam’s life. I know he cares deeply about Liam’s welfare – so much so that he agreed not to try to make contact with Liam or force things with you even though he could. He knows you and Chris are great parents and the last thing he wants is to disrupt things and upset Liam. I was hoping that you’d agree to send me a photo of Liam that I could have framed for Drake as a gift. I know it would mean the world to Drake.

  Thanks and I hope all is well with Liam.

  Kate

  I sent it off, feeling anxious that she’d get mad and make a fuss. Still, Drake deserved to have a picture of his own son, especially since he saved Liam’s life. If Maureen wouldn’t do at least that for Drake, she was some kind of bitch.

  I waited all day for a response, but gone none and so I wondered if perhaps the email was one she didn’t check often. When I checked my phone, I saw that my email had been bounced. She must have deleted that email address.

  The only alternative was to send her a text to the phone number on Drake’s cell. The text didn’t go through. She really didn’t want Drake in her life, if so.

  I was angry that she’d be so cruel after what Drake did for them. Then I had a brainstorm. I’d go and meet Drake at the hospital and drop by the children’s ward before, to see if I could speak directly to Maureen. I feared that she’d be hostile seeing me, but hopefully, she’d understand and it might mean I could get a photo of Liam.

  I texted Drake and let him know I’d be in the neighborhood, and that I’d meet him at the hospital and we could come home together. He was pleased and suggested we stop off for dinner on the way home and I agreed. Now all I had to do was get to the hospital with some time to spare, and check in at the children’s ward to see if Maureen was there. With my heart in my throat, I took the subway north and then a bus east to NYP, hoping that I wasn’t making a huge mistake.

  The children’s ward was as I remembered it – brightly colored walls with Disney characters and a playroom filled with all manner of toys. There were no children playing when I arrived just before seven at night. The ward was quiet, and the waiting room was empty. I went to the nursing station and asked one of the nurses if Maureen was there seeing Liam and she nodded. I didn’t want to interrupt her visit but I thought I’d walk by and let her know I was there. My heart was pounding as I walked down the hallway, peeking inside each room in hopes of seeing her and sure enough, at the end of the hallway in an isolation room was Maureen, Chris and Liam, his little body on the bed between them. He looked so small and frail, but his hair had grown in and it struck me how much like Drake he looked. I could see that Maureen might hope he was Chris’s son for Chris was very much like Drake as well.

  I stood outside the room, watching, and finally, Chris looked over and saw me. It took a moment, but then apparently, he recognized me. He frowned and said something to Maureen, who jerked her head around and saw me, an angry expression on her face. She stood abruptly and then Chris grabbed her arm.

  Chris came out instead of Maureen, but she stood watching me, frowning. On his part, Liam was unaware, and was busy playing with a Gameboy so whatever drama was taking place, he didn’t seem to notice.

  Chris left the room and then came out of the anteroom, his gown still on.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I sent Maureen an email but she must have changed accounts.”

  Chris glanced back in the room, and shook his head. “What’s the matter? Is something wrong with Drake?”

  “No,” I said and wondered exactly how to frame my question. “I’m here on my own. Drake knows nothing about it. I wanted to ask Maureen if I could get a picture of Liam for Drake. I thought I could frame it and give it as a gift for Christmas. Liam wouldn’t have to know anything about it. Drake doesn’t know anything either or he would have said no, but I thought I’d ask.”

  Chris looked exasperated, his eyes dark under a furrowed brow. “Maureen and I don’t want Drake involved in Liam’s life. I thought you understood that.”

  “I do, and Drake does as well,�
� I said, “but I know that Drake would treasure a photograph of Liam. He saved Liam’s life.” I let that sink in for a moment. “The least you both could do is let him have a picture of his son.”

  “Biological son, nothing more,” Chris said tersely. “I’m his father and have been since he was born.”

  “Of course,” I said quickly. “And Drake knows that. He thinks you’re both great parents and has agreed not to try to become involved in Liam’s life. But still, a picture wouldn’t hurt. Liam doesn’t have to know anything about this.”

  Chris exhaled loudly. “I’ll talk to Maureen, but I really think you’re imposing on our good nature to ask.”

  “You didn’t hesitate to impose on Drake’s good nature when you needed a donor. This is the least you could do,” I said again, affronted that they were both so uncaring and unappreciative of what Drake had done.

  “Go and wait there,” Chris said, pointing to the small waiting room off the nursing station. “I’ll talk to Maureen.”

  I nodded and left, making my way back to the waiting room. I sat so I could watch the hallway and saw that Chris went back inside the room and then they both came out, their gowns still on. They stood outside the room and spoke together, leaning in close.

  Maureen had her hands on her hips, and didn’t look at all pleased. Finally, she stomped down the hallway towards me while Chris went back into Liam’s room.

  “I can’t believe you’re really here. You have a lot of nerve.”

  That was all she said and then she stood and glared at me.

  “I’m no threat,” I said, holding my hands up. “Drake doesn’t know I’m here. He has no interest in bothering you or Chris or Liam. I’m doing this for Drake so he has something to remember Liam by. Just a photo. I could take one with my iPhone and be gone in three minutes.”

  “What am I going to tell Liam?”

  I shook my head, trying to come up with something on the fly. “I don’t know—tell him that I’m a journalist writing articles about kids who have survived cancer.”

  She shook her head and stared at me for a moment.

  “Three minutes,” she said and turned on her heel. “And if you even dare come back and try to see Liam, I’ll call the police.”

  I followed her down the hall and into the anteroom where I put on a gown and mask, before entering the room through a door.

  Liam was sitting up on his bed, his Gameboy on the table. Chris stood when we entered.

  “Liam, this lady is going to take a picture of you for a magazine article she’s writing on kids with cancer,” Maureen said. “Is that okay?”

  “Sure.” Liam glanced at me and the resemblance to Drake hit me right in the gut. Those pale blue eyes and dark eyelashes… Drake’s son. Of that there was no doubt. It made my chest constrict.

  “Hi, Liam,” I said and smiled at him. “I’m just going to take a quick picture and then I’ll be gone.”

  I stood at the end of the bed and Maureen fussed with Liam’s pajama top and smoothed his hair, which had a rooster tail in it from lying down. I zoomed in the image and snapped a picture, then another and another just to be on the safe side.

  “That’s all I need,” I said and smiled again. “I’m on my way.”

  I tucked my phone away and left the room, returning to the anteroom to remove the gown and mask. Maureen followed me, but didn’t remove her gown or mask.

  “He’s still sick and will always be fragile but I guess Drake can tell you about that. Please, tell Drake that just because I let you take a picture it doesn’t mean I want him to be in Liam’s life. Drake didn’t want children when we were together so he can’t expect me to be happy if he tries to insert himself into Liam’s life now.”

  I turned to her, my anger getting the better of me. “Do you blame him for not wanting a family? He had no mother for most of his life. His father neglected him. He was raised by nannies and housekeepers.”

  “I know, I know,” Maureen said, raising her eyebrows. “Poor little rich boy. I know the story better than anyone. I actually met Liam and he was a sweetheart. Charities in Africa, donating his time and skills. I don’t know how the hell he produced someone like Drake.”

  “What do you mean, someone like Drake?” My blood was boiling at that point. “Someone like Drake saved Liam’s life. Someone like Drake is so good, he didn’t want to impose on you and Chris and be involved in his own son’s life even though he saved it.”

  “That’s because he knows he could never be a real father.”

  I felt tears spring to my eyes, my heart pounding from anger. “You’re wrong.”

  Then I turned and left, unwilling to speak to her for another moment. I walked down the hallway, trying to get a grip on my emotions, as I was meeting Drake in a few minutes and didn’t want him to see that I’d been crying. I popped into one of the public washrooms and held a wet paper towel to my eyes, trying to stop the tears.

  Finally under some kind of self-control once more, I left the washroom and made my way through the hospital to the wing with Drake’s office. I popped my head into his office and saw he was busy flipping through papers in a file.

  “Am I too early?”

  He glanced up, his eyes lighting up when he saw me. “Never. Come in. I’m just putting some lab results back into files. We can go right away.”

  I came in and watched the screen, which showed some OR technicians cleaning up after a surgery. “Was that your OR?”

  He glanced up. “No,” he said. “I was just watching while I was reading over files.” Then he looked at me, frowning. “Are you all right? Your nose and eyes are red…”

  “Allergy attack. Something must have bothered me. I think I sneezed ten times on the way over.”

  If Drake doubted my fabricated explanation, he didn’t show it, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I wanted to keep the photo secret until Christmas Day, when I’d give him the photo under our Christmas tree.

  “Let’s go,” he said and closed the file before coming to my side. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, and I melted into his embrace. Of course, being in his arms like that brought out my emotions and my silly tears started again. I tried to cover my eyes and turn my head away, but he noticed and pulled back, frowning.

  “Hey, hey,” he said and took my face in his hands. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me it’s allergies.”

  I half laughed and half-sobbed, coming up with something on the fly. “I was just thinking of poor little Liam and my emotions got the better of me. Plus, I’m a bit PMS…”

  His face softened and he pulled me close once more, his face in the crook of my neck, his lips pressed there in a gentle kiss.

  “Sweet, sweet Kate…”

  He held me for a moment and then pulled back again, wiping the tears off my cheeks with his fingers. “I’ve been talking to Liam’s doctors and nurses, and he’s going to be fine. He’ll be staying for a couple more days and then will be discharged home.”

  “That’s a relief,” I said, hoping that Drake bought my story about being sad for Liam, when I was actually sad for him.

  Drake leaned down and kissed me, the kiss tender. “You are an angel.”

  “Hardly,” I said, immediately feeling guilty that I’d lied to him about why I was crying. I’d confess when I gave him the picture.

  “You are,” he said and pulled me into a quick hug. “Now let’s go and get something to eat. I’m starved. You need a margarita to improve your mood. How does that sound?”

  I forced a smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

  In the middle of the night, Drake turned on the bedside light and snuggled closer to me.

  “Kate?” he whispered, kissing my shoulder. “Are you awake?”

  I yawned and rolled over to face him. “I am now. What’s the matter? Can’t sleep?”

  He pulled me into his arms, his chin resting on the top of my head. “Something like that. I woke up and can’t stop my mind from working.”

  Usually, that mean
t he wanted to make love, but I felt no erection pressing into my belly. I ran my hand up his back. Maybe he was still upset about Liam and wanted to vent. We’d had a very enjoyable meal at our favorite restaurant and opened a bottle of wine when we got home, talking in quiet voices about Drake’s childhood before Louise left. He had some happy memories but they were few, for it was obvious that she couldn’t adjust to the loss of her first son.

  Drake had been in a very thoughtful mood that night and I thought he’d want to make love but he hadn’t.

  Now, he couldn’t sleep. “Too much alcohol?” I said, wondering if he wasn’t feeling well from the wine.

  “No,” he said and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “ Too many thoughts.”

  “What’s on your mind?”

  He sighed heavily. “Kate, I don’t want to wait to have a family. I want a child now.”

  My eyes widened at that and I didn’t know what to say. We had talked about having children when we first discussed marriage, but that was a few years off when I was finished with my thesis and we had done some more traveling. I pulled back and looked in his eyes.

  “What made you change your mind?”

  He shook his head, a sad expression in his eyes. “I realized when I saw Liam at the hospital, and today when you were crying about him, that life is too short to put off things that you want. I want to have children, Kate. I want a real family – like you had with Ethan and your mom and Heath.”

  I didn’t say anything, wanting to give him the chance to speak and explain how he felt.

  “I know you wanted to finish your thesis first,” he said carefully, softly, “and I wanted to go back to Africa first, but there are no guarantees that we will even be able to have children.”

  “Go on.”

  “Something could happen to either of us and that would be it – waiting would mean we’d never have had children or be parents. You can always finish your thesis, and I can always go to Africa but we can’t always have children. I realized that I’ve missed every milestone with Liam. I’ll miss every milestone to come. I don’t want that to happen to us.”