Sentence of Marriage

by Shayne Parkinson

  ‘All right, I’ve heard enough about it,’ Jack said. ‘Is dinner nearly ready?’

  Susannah started moving plates around in a show of industry, but Amy could see a glitter in the woman’s eyes that contrasted with her apparent composure. She wondered how long it would be before the hysterical Susannah returned.

  *

  As February wore on Amy kept a wary eye on Susannah’s moods, talking to her as little as possible and spending as much time as she could away from her in the garden or the dairy.

  For a long time Amy couldn’t see that Susannah was looking any different. She began to wonder if she had misunderstood her father, though that would mean Lizzie was mistaken too. By the end of the month she thought Susannah was perhaps lacing a little less tightly, although there was still no discernible bulge.

  ‘What are you looking at?’ Susannah asked one day, watching Amy through narrowed eyes, and Amy realised she had been staring.

  ‘Nothing, I was just thinking about what we’d have for dinner.’

  ‘Doesn’t take much thinking about—it’ll be mutton again, I expect.’ Amy resisted the temptation to ask if Susannah would prefer chicken.

  Susannah was wearing one of her closest-fitting dresses that day. She pulled at her skirts as though the dress was twisted uncomfortably. ‘It’s very hot in here,’ she complained.

  Amy opened a window, but Susannah twitched at the bodice of her dress. ‘I think this has shrunk, it’s cutting into me. I’ll have to get another one made.’

  ‘I could… I mean, would you like me to let it out for you a bit?’

  ‘No. You’ll only ruin it, and I want to wear it again next year.’

  You won’t be able to wear it again if it’s shrunk, will you?

  Susannah pounced on Jack as soon as he entered the room for lunch. ‘I need some new dresses.’

  ‘That’s no problem,’ said Jack. ‘Come into town with me tomorrow and you can get some bits and pieces.’

  ‘I hope that dressmaker’s quick with her needle,’ Susannah fretted. ‘I’m sick of this dress.’ She pulled at the bodice again.

  ‘Can’t you make something yourself?’ Jack asked.

  ‘I don’t sew,’ Susannah snapped, ‘and I haven’t the time to learn now.’

  ‘Amy would make something for you, wouldn’t you, girl?’

  ‘If you want me to, Susa—Ma,’ Amy said dubiously.

  ‘No, I don’t want something a child runs up in the evenings,’ Susannah said. ‘Why can’t I have something nice?’

  ‘Well, it just seems a waste of money when Amy could do it for you, and you won’t wear it for long, anyway.’

  ‘I can’t wear my nice clothes any more, and you don’t want me to look nice! You want me to look like an old frump!’ Tears filled Susannah’s eyes.

  ‘Hey, hey, of course I don’t… don’t cry… hang it all, if it means that much to you you’d better get one made. Just one dress, mind.’

  ‘One’s not many,’ Susannah said, looking rebellious.

  ‘It’ll have to do for now. If you really need any more, get Amy to make one. That dressmaker you’re on about can only make one at a time, anyway.’

  Susannah gave in, though not graciously. She went into town with Jack to order her new dress, and in another week she duly brought home a gown of soft silk—foulard, Susannah said the fabric was called—printed with tiny yellow flowers, with cream lace at the neck and cuffs and yellow ribbon bows around the hem.

  Amy could see it was a little larger than Susannah’s other clothes, but she wondered how long it would be of any use. She tried to think back to how her Aunt Edie had looked two years earlier when she was carrying Ernie; she remembered Edie had seemed huge to her, and she and Lizzie had had to pretend they knew nothing about the pregnancy even when Aunt Edie was going about the house in what looked like a giant flour sack. Susannah still didn’t seem to eat very much, though, so perhaps she would not swell up as much as Edie had.

  *

  ‘She’s getting fat,’ said Harry. He and Amy were standing together, watching Jack help Susannah out of the buggy after a trip to town. ‘It’s because she’s so lazy, lying in bed half the day.’

  Amy looked at Susannah. Yes, she had definitely thickened around the middle. Amy could see that the new dress was now only just wearable; she supposed that meant Susannah would soon be confined to the house. That would probably mean her stepmother’s temper would become even more uncertain.

  ‘She’s still got a bony-looking face,’ Harry said, looking puzzled, ‘but she’s got a fat belly.’ His face fell suddenly. ‘Oh, hell, I hope she’s not going to have a kid. That’s just what I need, a bawling baby as well as a bawling woman. Is she going to, Amy?’

  ‘I’m not allowed to talk about it,’ Amy said, feeling her face go red.

  ‘That means she is, then. Blast her! And blast Pa for getting sucked in by her. Silly old—’

  ‘Stop it, Harry, I don’t like it when you talk like that.’

  ‘It’s true, isn’t it?’

  ‘It doesn’t do any good complaining about it—it just makes it worse, really. Anyway, it’s not your problem if she is going to… if there is a child coming.’

  ‘Huh!’ Harry said in disgust. ‘You ask Bill some time about what it’s like to have a baby crying half the night—none of them got much sleep for a while when Ernie came along.’

  ‘Well, there’s no point worrying about all that before we have to,’ said Amy.

  Amy did not know when the baby was expected, and she was not allowed to ask, but she noticed that Susannah was putting aside all the dresses she had brought from Auckland one by one as they became too small, and Amy could see that even Susannah’s new dress was getting tighter and tighter.

  At the beginning of April, Amy looked at Susannah one morning when they were making lunch together and she saw that the yellow dress was straining around the middle, with at least one button threatening to pull off.

  Susannah looked up from setting the table. ‘Why are you staring at me like that?’

  Amy hesitated, trying to decide the right thing to do. ‘Susannah, isn’t that dress hurting you?’ she asked abruptly.

  ‘Why should it be?’ Susannah turned away from her. ‘You mind your own business.’

  ‘Well, it’s too tight—Susannah, I’m not trying to annoy you, really I’m not, but you look so uncomfortable with the seams straining like that.’ Susannah turned back to stare at Amy. To her dismay, Amy saw that Susannah’s eyes were glittering and her knuckles were white where she gripped the plate.

  But it was too late to stop now, so she ploughed on. ‘Can’t I help you? Please, Susannah. I could let that one out, or I could make you another one—or maybe you could get another one made.’

  ‘A sack, you mean—you all want me to wear sacks now. Even that stupid dressmaker wanted to make this dress too big. And your father won’t let me have any more dresses made.’ She ended in what was very nearly a wail.

  ‘Then let me make you one—you could have it in whatever material you like—it wouldn’t look horrible if I made it in nice material.’

  ‘Yes it would—everything looks awful on me now—you want me to look horrible!’

  ‘Of course I don’t, I love seeing your nice clothes, I just think you should—’

  ‘I don’t care what you think,’ Susannah screamed. With a sudden movement, she flung the plate.

  Amy ducked too late, but Susannah’s aim was poor, and the plate smashed harmlessly on the floor. They both stared at the fragments of china, and for a moment Susannah looked horrified at what she had done. Then she turned on Amy. ‘You made me do that! You and your nasty remarks about what I look like, and what I should wear. You’re trying to drive me mad, aren’t you?’

  ‘No, Susannah, no! Please don’t say that—I just want to help—’

  The door opened, and Jack hurried in looking anxious. ‘What was that crash? You didn’t—oh, it was only a plate.’ He looked
at the remains of the plate with relief. ‘I thought you might have had a fall,’ he said to Susannah. He made to put his arm around her, but she stepped backwards out of his reach.

  ‘It’s her fault,’ she said, pointing at Amy. ‘She made me throw it—she’s been saying horrible things just to upset me.’

  ‘No I haven’t,’ Amy said, desperately hoping her father would see how irrational Susannah was being.

  ‘Yes you have,’ Susannah screamed at her. ‘She hates me, and she wants me to look awful so you’ll hate me too.’ Tears were streaming unchecked down her face, but she pushed Jack away when he moved to comfort her.

  ‘Susannah, no!’ Amy begged. ‘You know I don’t want that—I’m only trying to help you.’ She felt tears welling from her own eyes.

  ‘Oh, don’t you start, Amy,’ Jack groaned, and Amy wiped the tears away as best she could with the back of her hand. ‘Now, Susannah, tell me just what Amy’s done that’s upset you so much.’

  ‘She thinks I look horrible, and she wants me to wear a sack. You’ll have to beat her again—go on, take her away and beat her! You have to!’ She gave Jack a push, but he didn’t move.

  ‘What are you meant to have done, girl?’ he asked Amy.

  ‘I asked if I could make her a dress because that one’s too tight. That’s all I did, honestly Pa, I didn’t think it would upset her.’ She looked up at her father, pleading with her eyes for him to believe her.

  ‘Is that what’s annoyed you, Susannah? Amy offering to make you a dress?’

  ‘Yes! Yes, she keeps telling me what to do, and I won’t have it! You have to beat her so she’ll stop it!’ She pummelled at Jack’s chest.

  Jack took Susannah’s hands in his, and held them firmly when she tried to pull away. ‘Susannah,’ he said slowly and deliberately, ‘I’m not going to hit my girl every time you get a fit of the vapours. Now, you just—’

  ‘You hate me too! You’re taking her part against me!’ Susannah screamed. Her body seemed to go rigid for a moment, then Jack let go of her hands and she collapsed into a chair. She flung her arms on the table, laid her head down on them and wept. ‘I hate it here… I wish I’d never come… I wish I’d never…’ The rest was lost in her sobs.

  Jack sat down beside Susannah and put his head in his hands for a moment, then looked at his wife. ‘Amy,’ he said without turning his head away from Susannah, ‘go outside.’ Amy went as quickly as she could. Before she closed the door she heard Jack say, ‘Now calm yourself, woman, before you do yourself some harm.’

  Amy stood by the gate in the hedge, wondering if she should try and find something useful to do outside. But it was nearly lunch-time, so she decided she would just have to wait until she was summoned.

  John and Harry arrived a few minutes later, ready for their meal. ‘Don’t go in there,’ Amy said, putting her hand on John’s arm. ‘Pa’s talking to Susannah and he doesn’t want anyone else around.’

  ‘What about lunch?’ John asked.

  ‘You’ll just have to wait.’

  ‘They’re having a row, are they?’ Harry asked.

  ‘Not exactly. Susannah’s got in a state and Pa’s trying to settle her down, I think.’

  ‘Do you think he’s going to give her a hiding?’

  ‘Of course he’s not, Harry, don’t be stupid. No, she’s really miserable.’ She looked at the house and thought about the distraught woman at the table. ‘She’s annoyed at me again, too.’

  ‘What about?’

  Amy sighed. ‘I don’t really know. I always seem to upset her when I say anything.’

  The door opened and Jack looked out. ‘Amy,’ he called. ‘Come here, girl.’

  ‘I’m in trouble again,’ Amy said, trying to sound more confident than she felt as she turned to walk back up the path.

  ‘Do you want us to come with you?’ John asked. ‘I mean, you shouldn’t get in trouble over nothing, maybe we should talk to him.’

  ‘Yes, that’s right,’ Harry agreed.

  Amy was touched by their support, but she shook her head. ‘I’ll be all right,’ she said, hoping it was the truth. ‘You two just wait out here a bit longer.’

  She felt her heart beating faster as she entered the house and closed the door. Susannah was no longer in the room. ‘Yes, Pa?’ she said, trying to gauge her father’s mood from his expression.

  ‘You’d better finish getting lunch on, I—’ He stopped when he saw the look on her face. ‘Amy,’ he said, and she thought he sounded hurt, ‘why are you looking at me like that? You’re not frightened of me, are you?’

  ‘I just thought…’ She could not think how to finish.

  ‘You are frightened. Amy, listen to me.’ He put one hand on her shoulder, and with the other tilted her chin so that she was looking up into his face. ‘Didn’t you hear what I said to Susa—your ma before you went out? I’m not going to hit you just to please her. I’m not sure I should have done it that other time, either.’

  He let go of Amy and sat down heavily. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with her, and I don’t know how to make her happy. She’s in a bad way—to tell you the truth, girl, I’m starting to think I didn’t do the right thing by her, bringing her here. But what can I do about it? She’s my wife now, and I’ve got to do the best I can for her—whatever that is.’ He sighed. ‘I don’t know, it’s beyond me. Your ma—your real one, I mean—was never like that.’

  He looked so troubled that Amy’s heart went out to him. She put her arm around his neck. ‘Pa, I know I’m not meant to talk about this, but… well, I remember Lizzie saying Aunt Edie was sort of strange when Ernie was coming. Do you think that’s the trouble with Susannah?’ She did not add that Edie’s strangeness had consisted of being even vaguer than usual, threatening to faint once or twice, and having one fit of weeping in late pregnancy when she was worn out by the February heat.

  Jack looked more hopeful. ‘Maybe you’re right—though I don’t remember your ma being that bad. Of course it’s a long time since I had a broody woman around. Well, what do you think I should do about it?’

  ‘Perhaps if Aunt Edie had a talk with her? She’s the most likely one to be any use.’

  ‘That’s a good idea!’ Jack leapt at it. ‘I’ll mention it to your uncle, he’ll get her to pop over. What would I do without you, girl?’ He squeezed her hand.

  ‘You’d get your own lunch, for a start,’ Amy said, pulling her hand away. She went to the door and called her brothers; seeing that they looked at her with concern, she gave them a smile and whispered as they walked into the room, ‘It’s all right’.

  8

  April 1882

  Susannah stayed in bed the rest of that day. Neither Jack nor Amy was keen to disturb her, so they both kept away until the evening. When the table was set for dinner and Susannah still had not appeared, Amy asked her father what she should do about Susannah’s meal.

  ‘Shall I put something on a tray for her?’

  ‘I suppose you’d better. Yes, take it in to her.’

  ‘Ah… Pa, I think it might be better if you took it to her. She won’t want to see me.’

  ‘Well, she’s got to put up with seeing you. I’m not carrying her meals about for her.’ Amy could see that her father was very aware of John’s and Harry’s eyes on him, and she wished she had brought it up before her brothers had come in. Reluctantly she took the tray herself.

  ‘Excuse me, Susannah, I’ve brought your—’

  ‘Go away,’ came a muffled voice from the bed.

  ‘I’ve brought your dinner.’

  ‘I don’t want it. Take it away.’

  ‘You might want it later. I’ll just leave it here.’ Amy put the tray on the bedside table.

  Susannah’s head emerged from under the sheet, and she reached a hand out to the tray. ‘Take it away or I’ll push it onto the floor.’

  ‘No, you won’t.’ The voice came from behind Amy. She jumped, and Susannah stared, as Jack entered the room. ‘You’ll sit up
properly and eat that, and thank Amy for bringing it to you.’

  ‘I don’t want it,’ Susannah insisted.

  ‘You’ve got to eat, Susannah, and you’ve had nothing since breakfast. Now you get that down you.’ He walked past Amy and lifted the tray, then sat on the bed. ‘Come on, sit up.’

  Amy waited for Susannah to shout, but instead her stepmother sat up very meekly and took the tray onto her lap. ‘Now thank Amy for bringing it in.’ But Amy was already walking quickly through the doorway. She had no intention of giving Susannah a fresh grudge against her.

  Jack lingered in the kitchen with Amy after her brothers had left the room. ‘She says she doesn’t want to get fat,’ he said, frowning. ‘She’s got a bee in her bonnet about those dresses of hers. I hope Edie can talk some sense into her.’

  ‘So do I,’ Amy agreed.

  *

  Edie bustled in the next morning soon after breakfast, with Lizzie and Ernie in tow. There was a gleam in her eye and no trace of her usual vagueness; she was clearly a woman with a mission. ‘Where’s your ma?’ she asked without preliminaries.

  ‘Still in bed,’ Amy said. ‘I’ll tell her you’re here.’

  ‘No, don’t worry about that, I know where it is. Don’t you girls disturb us. You can keep an eye on Ernie for me.’ She hurried down the passage.

  ‘Ma’s all fired up today—she loves anything to do with babies. She’s come to sort Aunt Susannah out,’ Lizzie explained.

  ‘I know,’ Amy said. ‘It was my idea.’

  ‘Oh, was it just?’ Lizzie was taken aback.

  ‘Yes. You’re not the only one who ever gets any ideas, you know.’

  ‘I never said I was. You’re not usually any good at getting people to do what you want, that’s all.’

  Edie came out again after half an hour. ‘Well!’ she said. Amy thought her aunt looked tired out. Edie looked at the girls, chewing her lip as though she was struggling with a decision, then seemed to make up her mind. ‘Go outside and play with Ernie, Lizzie,’ she said. ‘I want to talk to Amy.’