Sentence of Marriage

by Shayne Parkinson

‘Well, he is my brother, Lizzie.’

  ‘No reason to let him boss you around.’ Lizzie glanced across the room, and it took her a moment to register the significance of John’s presence at the beer barrel. Then she rushed over to him. ‘John, where’s Amy? I thought you were with her.’

  ‘Jimmy’s taken her home.’

  ‘By themselves?’

  ‘Yes—what’s wrong with that?’

  Lizzie was quiet for a moment. ‘Nothing… I hope.’

  *

  Amy walked along the road at Jimmy’s side, savouring the night’s coolness after the noise and heat of the schoolroom. The moon had risen, giving them enough light to see their way clearly. The silence was broken only by their footsteps and the occasional mournful hooting of a morepork.

  ‘It’s so quiet here,’ Jimmy said. ‘It never seems to get really quiet in town. Even in the middle of the night there’re always a few people rushing about.’

  ‘It’s a beautiful night.’

  ‘And a beautiful girl beside me.’ Jimmy glanced over his shoulder to check that they were out of sight of the school, then put his arm around Amy’s waist. ‘Your dress is lovely—it’s the first time I’ve seen you in anything that does you justice.’

  She snuggled against him. ‘I had such a nice time tonight until all that trouble. I didn’t want it to end.’

  ‘Neither did I.’ He bent and placed a kiss on the top of her head. ‘Let’s make it last a bit longer.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘We don’t need to go straight home, do we? Let’s have a bit more time together first. You’re always so busy in the daytime, I hardly get a chance to see you.’

  Amy hesitated for a moment. ‘I suppose it would be all right, as long as we don’t stay too long. There’s a nice place up the road a bit, I’ll show you.’

  Just before the track that turned off to Amy’s house, she led Jimmy away from the road into a small patch of bush. ‘They haven’t cleared this yet, even though it’s quite flat, but there’s an open bit just through here.’

  They walked a little further until they came into a small clearing. Some large puriri had been chopped down there, and the second growth had not yet taken over, so that among the ferns there were patches of grass. The bush surrounded them on all sides, and the silence of the night seemed even deeper here.

  ‘Mmm, this is nice,’ Jimmy said. ‘Put those down for a minute.’ Amy placed her dancing shoes carefully on the ground. Jimmy held out his arms; she nestled into them and tilted her face up for a kiss. He kissed her very gently, then harder, but just as she was starting to enjoy herself he pulled away from her.

  ‘Ow, that hurts a bit,’ Jimmy said, touching his mouth gingerly. ‘I would’ve hit that ass harder if I’d known he was going to spoil my time alone with you.’

  ‘You poor thing,’ said Amy. ‘You were so brave, the way you faced them all. I was really frightened for you.’

  ‘When I saw him touch you I was so angry I almost wanted to kill him. Amy, I can’t stand the thought of anyone else touching you.’ He kissed her again, more carefully this time, but then to Amy’s surprise he turned away and began pacing around the clearing.

  ‘You’re being fidgety again, like you are when you’re stuck inside,’ she scolded gently. ‘What have you got to be restless about now?’

  Jimmy looked startled. ‘Am I? Yes, I suppose I am. I get like this when I’m trying to make up my mind to do something, too. Amy, what happened tonight with that fellow—it made me think about how I’d feel if I lost you.’

  ‘You won’t lose me,’ Amy said. ‘I love you.’

  He crossed to her and took her in his arms. ‘Let’s do something about it. I want you to belong to me.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  He was still restless. He pulled away and paced back and forth for a few more moments, then stopped and turned to face her. ‘Amy, let’s… no, I want to do this properly.’ He put his arms around her waist and picked her up, making Amy squeal in surprise, then he sat her on a large stump.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she said through her giggles.

  Jimmy went down on one knee and took her hand between both of his. ‘Miss Leith,’ he said very solemnly, ‘will you do me the honour of giving me your hand in marriage?’

  For a moment Amy’s heart was too full for her to make a sound. Jimmy looked at her with apprehension growing in his eyes. ‘Amy, please don’t turn me down. Please say yes.’

  ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’ Amy said, half-laughing in delight while at the same time she felt tears of happiness fill her eyes.

  ‘Thank you!’ He snatched her up from the stump and kissed her again. This time his sore mouth did not seem to trouble him. ‘Oh, Amy, I love you so much.’ He planted kisses all over her face, finally coming back to her mouth. ‘Let’s sit down,’ he murmured. ‘We’ve got a few minutes.’

  ‘All right.’ Amy slipped off her cloak and spread it out for them both. She sat down beside Jimmy in a rustle of silk, and snuggled against his side.

  Jimmy gently pushed her back to lie on the cloak with her arms around his neck. He stroked her shoulder, then slid his hand down to the space between her breasts till he found the hard lump of her brooch. ‘I’ve found my present,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘I told you I’d wear it every day.’

  ‘Now I know you were telling me the truth. You’ll be able to wear it on the outside soon, when we’ve announced our engagement.’ His hand slipped across to fondle her breasts. This time Amy did not struggle. He’s asked me to marry him. It must be all right now, just a little touch like this.

  ‘You are so beautiful, and you’re going to belong to me.’ Jimmy gave a moan as he lowered his mouth to hers. His embraces became more urgent, and Amy felt herself responding, pushing her own body against his. His hand stroked her leg softly over and over through the silk, then he seemed to be fiddling with something on his trousers. Amy raised her head to look, but he pushed her down with another kiss.

  The night air was suddenly cooler against her legs. When she glanced at her dress, she saw that it had somehow ridden up as Jimmy stroked her. She tried to reach down to straighten it, but his chest was pressed too closely against hers for her to slip her hand between them.

  Then suddenly he had his leg between hers, then both legs. ‘What are you doing?’ she said in alarm. He silenced her with a kiss. She tried to twist her face away, but his mouth had hers firmly captured. ‘Please stop it.’ But her words were muffled by his mouth, so all that came out was an unintelligible mumble. His hand was pushing the two sides of her drawers apart. Then she felt a sharp, tearing pain, and she knew it was too late to struggle.

  19

  February 1884

  Jimmy rolled away from her to lie on his back. Amy straightened her drawers and pulled her petticoats and dress down over her knees as well as she could with her hands trembling so violently, then she lay weeping silently, wondering what to do next. Jimmy was still for so long that Amy began to wonder if he had gone to sleep, but at last he stirred and rolled onto his side, raising himself on one elbow to look at her.

  ‘You have just made me a very happy man, Amy.’ He reached out to stroke her face, and pulled his fingers away wet with tears. ‘What’s wrong, little one? Why are you crying?’

  ‘We’ve d-done a t-terrible th-thing,’ Amy choked out through her sobs.

  ‘Terrible? I thought it was rather good myself.’ He gave a low chuckle. Amy was too stunned to cry for a moment, then she was racked with weeping.

  ‘Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry.’ Jimmy slipped an arm under her shoulders. ‘I’m so happy that I just didn’t think about how you might be feeling. Come on, sit up and tell me why you think it’s all so terrible.’ He raised her and sat with his arm around her, but when Amy tried to speak all that came out was more sobs.

  Jimmy pulled out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes, then held it over her nose. ‘Blow,’ he ordered, and she blew her nose noisily into the
handkerchief. ‘There, do you feel a bit better now?’

  Amy’s sobs slowly subsided. ‘A little bit. Can I keep the handkerchief?’

  ‘Only if you promise to give it back later—it’s the one you gave me for Christmas. Now, tell me what’s so bad.’

  ‘We’ve done that, and we’re not married. Isn’t that wrong?’

  ‘But we’re going to get married, so it doesn’t really matter.’

  ‘Doesn’t it?’ Amy asked doubtfully, desperately wanting to believe him.

  ‘Oh, I admit we’ve put the cart before the horse a bit, but what difference will that make once we’re married? You’re almost my wife already. Now, listen. First thing in the morning I’ll have a talk with your father—’

  ‘He’ll be really angry with you.’

  ‘Hey, I’m not going to tell him about that! There wouldn’t be much left for you to marry after he’d finished with me. No, I’m going to ask him for permission to marry his beautiful daughter. How do you think he’ll take it?’

  Amy chewed her lip. ‘He won’t be very happy. I’m sure he’ll say I’m too young.’

  ‘Hmm. Well, I’ll have to talk him round somehow. I don’t think I can wait till he finally notices you’ve grown up.’

  ‘I’d like to get married soon,’ Amy said. ‘It’d make me feel better about what happened.’

  ‘Me too. All right then, I’ll ask him first thing tomorrow. Now up you get and I really will take you home.’ He helped her up and placed the cloak over her shoulders. ‘We’d better get moving—if I’m not in bed when John gets back I’ll have some explaining to do.’ He laughed, and Amy smiled with him, though she was still shaken. Jimmy sounded so confident about it all, and he didn’t think they’d done anything wrong. If only Pa says yes, then everything will be all right.

  The house was in darkness when they crept up the passage and exchanged a last, brief kiss before going into their separate rooms. Amy undressed and put on her nightdress in the dark, leaving all her clothes piled on a chair rather than making any attempt to put them away. She slipped between the sheets and lay staring towards the invisible ceiling. We’re going to get married, was her thought one moment, and a warm glow crept over her. Then Pa might say no, came the thought, like a hand clutching at her heart. What if he finds out what we did? He mustn’t—he just mustn’t. She tossed and turned as the thoughts chased one another around in her head. She thought she would never get to sleep, but finally she was exhausted enough to drop off.

  Amy woke feeling like a wrung-out rag. It took an effort of will to get out of bed rather than roll over and go back to sleep. She stood in the middle of the room in her nightdress, trying to summon the energy to get dressed and start the day. Then she remembered that she wanted her father to be in the best possible mood when Jimmy asked for her hand; that gave her the impetus to hurry. She wanted to have plenty of time to prepare breakfast before her father came in from milking.

  When she picked up her silk dress, she saw to her dismay it was badly creased. It even had some grass stains around the hem, where the dress had not been protected by her cloak. Her drawers had a small patch of blood on them, and Amy recalled that sharp pain. She anxiously checked her dress; there was no sign of blood, though one of her petticoats had a few spots.

  She shook the dress out, but it was obviously going to need washing. That would mean explaining to Susannah how she had got the dress in such a state; she did not look forward to that conversation. There was no time to worry about it now, however. She hung it in the wardrobe, shoved her soiled underwear in a drawer and hurriedly dressed.

  As she brushed her hair, Amy was surprised that the sleepy face staring back at her from the mirror looked the same as ever. She felt so different within herself that she had thought it might show on the outside, too. Her eyes fell on the photograph of her mother. She picked it up and looked at the woman who was almost a stranger. Did you feel like I do, Mama? Did you love Pa like I love Jimmy? I think you must have, you look so happy. I think he still misses you, she realised for the first time, and she felt a pang for her father.

  When she had splashed cold water on her face Amy felt more alert, and she hurried out to start preparing the meal. She was already in the kitchen before she remembered that her brooch was still on yesterday’s chemise, tucked into a drawer; she considered going back to put it on before deciding she did not have time.

  Breakfast was almost ready by the time Jimmy appeared. She abandoned her frying pans to rush to his arms.

  ‘How’s my little wife this morning?’ Jimmy said, nuzzling her hair as he spoke.

  ‘Tired. And I’m not your wife yet,’ she said, trying unsuccessfully to sound stern.

  ‘Yes you are, as far as I’m concerned. You belong to me now, little one—it’s just a matter of convincing one or two other people.’

  ‘Pa, you mean.’

  ‘My father too. He could be even more of a problem, he can be difficult when it suits him. I’ve been thinking about that—’ They were interrupted by the noise of the back door opening, and Amy went to the range just as Jack and his sons came in.

  ‘Well, lad,’ Jack said in his booming voice, ‘what’s this I hear about what you’ve been doing for my daughter?’

  Jimmy glanced from Jack to Amy with a look of terror, which she returned with interest, then he managed to look calm again and spoke to Jack with no more than a quizzical note in his voice. ‘What do you mean, Jack?’

  ‘These boys of mine have been telling me what happened last night.’

  ‘Ah, what in particular?’ Jimmy probed cautiously.

  ‘No need to be modest about it.’ He bore down on Jimmy and raised his arm. Amy cringed until she saw that her father had merely extended his hand to shake Jimmy’s. ‘So one of those Feenans tried to take liberties with my daughter, eh? And you laid him flat on the floor! I wish I’d been there to see it. I wish I’d been there to do it myself, come to that.’ He crossed to Amy and gave her a bear hug. ‘Of course, I might have killed him,’ he said in a conversational tone. ‘Laying a hand on my little girl. I’d have broken his arm, at least—probably both arms.’

  ‘Pa,’ Amy said weakly, ‘please don’t talk like that, I don’t like it.’

  ‘All right, sorry girl, didn’t mean to upset you. Anyway, I’m grateful to you, Jimmy.’

  ‘It was nothing, I just didn’t like to see Amy upset, that’s all.’

  Amy distracted them by serving breakfast, but once she had got over the shock of misunderstanding her father’s words she felt a glow of happiness. He was in such a good mood with Jimmy, this morning would be a perfect time to ask him. She caught Jimmy’s eye once or twice during the meal and he smiled back encouragingly.

  After they had finished eating, Amy was clearing away the plates when Susannah flung open the door from the passage. They all looked up in surprise, and Amy felt a stab of alarm when she saw that Susannah had the blue dress draped over one arm.

  ‘What on earth have you done with this?’ Susannah cried. She spread the dress out with a dramatic flourish. ‘Just look at it—creased as if you’d slept in it for a month, and you’ve got stains around the hem. How did you get it in such a state?’

  She gave Amy no chance to respond, even if the girl had had an answer, before she turned to Jack. ‘I told you the child was too young for a silk dress—I told you, but you never take any notice of me. No one takes any notice—especially not her.’

  ‘Calm down, Susannah,’ Jack said, his cheerful smile replaced by a look of weary resignation. Amy felt a surge of anger at Susannah for spoiling her father’s mood.

  ‘Don’t tell me to calm down. Just look at this dress—she’s worn it once and it’s ruined!’

  ‘Give it to me!’ Amy snapped, giving in to her anger and snatching the dress away. ‘What right do you have to go poking around in my room?’

  ‘Do you hear the way she speaks to me?’ Susannah demanded. ‘All I did was go in to see if she’d hung the dress up
properly, and I get abused for my trouble! I suppose you’re going to take her part like you always do?’

  ‘Amy, that’s no way to speak to your ma,’ Jack admonished. ‘Your ma’s got the right to go anywhere she wants in this house, and she was only seeing that you were taking care of your clothes. It looks like you weren’t, either.’

  Amy remembered her secret brooch, lying in the drawer where Susannah could have found it if she had decided to explore a little further. ‘Why is she allowed in my room? I don’t want her going in there! It’s my room, isn’t it?’

  ‘Hey, you settle down, girl—there’s no need for you to carry on like that. You just do as your ma tells you, and keep a civil tongue in your head. What’s got into you this morning?’

  ‘You’d better get that strap out again,’ Susannah said, her eyes glittering. ‘She’s far too full of herself—it’s because you let her go to that dance—she’s too young for outings like that, as well as too young to have decent clothes.’

  Amy was aware of Jimmy looking helplessly from her to Susannah. She felt tears of frustration spilling from her eyes. ‘I’m not! I’m not too young! You say that every time I want anything.’

  ‘Do I have to put up with this, Jack?’ Susannah demanded. ‘Are you going to make her treat me with respect or not? You’ll have to beat her again.’

  ‘You leave my sister alone!’ Harry roared, erupting from his chair and startling them all. ‘You nag at her all the time, then you let her do all the work while you sit on your backside.’ Susannah gave a gasp. ‘Don’t you touch her, Pa,’ he warned.

  ‘Don’t speak to me like that, you young—’

  ‘What are you going to do about it?’ Harry interrupted.

  ‘I’ll show you who runs this house.’

  ‘You’ll have to show us both,’ John said, getting up from his own chair and crossing to stand beside Amy. ‘Don’t touch Amy—she’s put up with enough the last few years.’

  Jack looked at his two sons, both of them taller than him and almost thirty years younger, and he seemed to shrink a little before Amy’s eyes. ‘I wasn’t going to hit her,’ he said dully.