Sentence of Marriage

by Shayne Parkinson

  ‘Jack, don’t you care about my baby?’ Susannah looked accusingly at Jack as she clutched George to her. ‘My poor little baby’s ill, and all you can think about is potatoes!’ She sounded on the verge of tears.

  ‘Hey, don’t get upset, Susannah. If you’re really worried, Amy can take you in today.’

  ‘Me?’ Amy said in surprise.

  ‘Yes, you know how to drive the buggy.’

  ‘I haven’t for a while, Pa,’ Amy said, struggling to remember the last time she had sat beside her father on the front seat and held the reins.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Those horses know the way by themselves, anyway. I’ll get one of the boys to harness them up for you after lunch.’

  As soon as they had eaten, Amy left the dishes unwashed and they set off towards town. Susannah sat at her side holding George, and Thomas was between them. Amy was nervous for the first few minutes, and she jerked the reins awkwardly several times, but she soon found it was easiest to let the horses have their heads. Her father was right, the animals really did know the way.

  The jolting of the buggy soon put both little boys to sleep, which made the silence between Amy and Susannah all the more obvious. Amy made an effort to break it.

  ‘It’s a lovely day,’ she said when they had been travelling for ten minutes.

  ‘It’s terribly hot.’ Susannah adjusted the angle of her parasol to protect herself and George a little better.

  ‘Well, yes, but it’s nice and sunny. The sea’s going to look beautiful today.’

  ‘I hate this long drive in to town. Why is everything so ugly here?’

  ‘I don’t think it’s ugly! I think the bush looks lovely in the sunshine, and the sea’s always beautiful.’

  ‘I’m not interested in what you think. What would you know about anything? You’re just an ignorant farm girl.’

  Amy bit back the retort that came to her lips. ‘I’ve never been anywhere, I know that. I’d like to see other places. I still think it’s pretty here, though.’

  Susannah sighed. ‘You wouldn’t if you’d ever lived somewhere interesting. I suppose it would be easier to put up with a place like this if I didn’t know any better.’

  Susannah had dropped her habitual wounded expression, and a look of genuine sadness had replaced it. ‘What was it like, where you lived?’ Amy asked.

  ‘Lovely. We had a lovely house in Parnell. Everything was—is, I should say, the house is still there, even though I’m not. Everything is so nice. Nice furniture, nice carpets, a nice little garden—only half an acre, not a great wilderness. I must have been mad.’ Amy could think of nothing useful to say, so she kept silent.

  ‘It’s almost worse in a way, since James came.’ Susannah sounded as if she were talking to herself. ‘It’s made me miss Mother and Father more—even Constance. And James will have to go home soon, he can’t stay here much longer. Then I’ll be all by myself again.’

  Amy could understand Susannah’s sadness at the thought of not seeing Jimmy again. ‘Maybe… maybe he’ll come down again some time,’ she said, wanting to share a little of her own happiness.

  ‘No, he won’t. Not for a long time like this, anyway. Father’s getting older—he’s even older than your father, though Constance wouldn’t believe that,’ she said with more than a touch of bitterness. ‘He’ll want James to take over properly in a year or two, James won’t be able to leave Auckland for months on end then.’

  ‘So Jimmy’s going to run things?’ Amy probed delicately, pleased to be given the opportunity to find out about Jimmy’s prospects without having to interrogate him.

  ‘Of course he is. He’s Father’s only son—he’ll inherit the business. Long before that happens he’ll be in charge of it. He’s going to be quite a wealthy young man. Not that he doesn’t deserve to be, he’s very clever.’ Her mouth curved in a fond smile.

  ‘Does that mean—’

  ‘Stop being so nosy,’ Susannah cut in. ‘It’s nothing to do with you, it’s my family. You just think about your driving and give me some peace for a change—I don’t want you tipping us over in one of these streams.’

  I wouldn’t do that. But Amy was happy enough to keep silence for the rest of the journey while she mulled over what Susannah had told her. Jimmy’s prospects sounded wonderful to her, and she was sure her father would be impressed by them. That meant he would say yes! She hugged her happiness to herself.

  Amy walked up and down the street with Thomas while Susannah was seeing the doctor. She did not have to wait long before Susannah came out again, clutching a wailing George.

  ‘That stupid doctor’s upset him, poking and prodding at him. George was sick again while he did it—at least he managed to be sick over Doctor Wallace’s coat. I’m going to have a terrible time settling him down now.’

  ‘He’ll probably go to sleep again when we start moving. Are we going home now?’

  ‘Yes. Get on with it.’

  Amy held George while Susannah climbed in the buggy, then she handed up the baby and helped Thomas onto the seat. She unhitched the horses and they were soon on their way.

  ‘What did Doctor Wallace say about George?’ she asked.

  ‘None of your business.’

  ‘What?’ Amy said, shocked. ‘Why won’t you tell me what he said? I want to know.’

  ‘It’s personal.’

  ‘How can it be personal? Georgie’s just a baby. Please tell me what the doctor said—is it something really nasty?’ she asked anxiously.

  ‘It’s nothing to do with you!’ Susannah snapped.

  Amy was stung into arguing. ‘Yes, it is! He’s my baby brother, and I care about him. Tell me what the doctor said—go on, tell me!’

  ‘You’re getting very full of yourself lately,’ Susannah said. ‘I’d tell your father you’re being cheeky, except he never takes any notice. Well, if you’re going to plague me I’ll tell you—not that you’ll understand.’

  She was silent for so long that Amy thought Susannah must have changed her mind. ‘Please, Susannah. Maybe I can help look after him.’

  ‘Humph! I know you think you’re terribly clever, but you can’t help with this. That stupid doctor says George can’t tolerate solid food and cows milk yet. He says I’ve got to feed him myself until he’s at least nine months old.’

  ‘Oh. What’s wrong with that?’

  ‘I hate it, that’s what’s wrong!’ Susannah flung at her. ‘It’s uncomfortable and undignified, and it’ll ruin my figure. I don’t want to be a cow. Oh, why am I bothering to try and explain to you? You’re just a stupid child.’

  ‘I’m not stupid!’ Amy snapped. ‘And I’m not a child, either.’

  Susannah looked at her through narrowed eyes. ‘You really are getting full of yourself. Whatever’s got into you lately?’

  ‘Nothing,’ Amy said, wondering if the difference she felt in herself really was visible on her face.

  ‘You’ve got a lot to say for yourself these days.’

  ‘Maybe I’m growing up.’ Amy concentrated on the road ahead of them to avoid meeting Susannah’s eyes.

  ‘It’s certainly high time you did. You’ve been awfully cheerful lately, too. What’s making you so happy?’

  ‘Why shouldn’t I be happy?’

  ‘No, I suppose it doesn’t take much to make a girl like you happy,’ Susannah said.

  A tiny smile formed on Amy’s lips. Oh, yes it does.

  21

  February 1884

  Amy was well through her buttermaking the following Friday before Jimmy joined her in the dairy.

  ‘I thought you weren’t going to come this morning,’ she said, abandoning her churn to return his kiss.

  ‘I slept in—well, I always sleep in compared to you, I know, but I slept in even later this morning. I think it’s this weather,’ he said, looking gloomily out the open doorway at the drizzling rain. ‘That’s the trouble with only being able to get a bit of privacy by going up in the bush—as soon as it rai
ns we’re stuck inside.’

  He paced restlessly round the dairy, looking out the door every few minutes to see if the sky had suddenly cleared. ‘You’re a terrible fidgeter,’ Amy scolded, looking up from where she was working the butter. ‘Why don’t you just sit still and enjoy having a rest?’

  ‘You sound like my mother,’ he teased. ‘ “James, why don’t you sit quietly and read a book?” She was always saying that to me before I was old enough to go out and please myself. I know, I’m hopeless when I’m stuck inside.’ He flopped down on a stool against one wall; it was far too low for him, and his long legs looked uncomfortably doubled up.

  ‘I’m a bit scared of meeting your mother and father,’ Amy admitted. ‘Actually I’m very scared.’

  ‘Why? They’ll love you.’

  ‘Will they? They might think I’m not good enough for you.’

  ‘Well, they’d be wrong. Anyway, of course they’ll like you—who could help liking you?’

  ‘Susannah doesn’t like me.’

  ‘Susannah’s different. She doesn’t like anyone very much these days. Take my word for it, Mother and Father will love you.’ He brushed the subject aside with a wave of his hand. ‘Listen, Amy, you know I went in to town with Harry yesterday to get the supplies? I managed to get some notepaper and things, too.’

  ‘That’s good! I don’t suppose Harry was interested in what you wanted it for.’

  ‘No, his mind was on other things. You know that red-headed girl who sang at the dance?’

  ‘Jane Neill, you mean? Mrs Forster’s sister?’

  ‘That’s the one. She was at the store with her sister, and Harry was too busy staring at her—not to mention exchanging the odd cheeky remark—to take any notice of what I was doing.’

  ‘Was he just? I didn’t know Harry was even interested in girls.’

  ‘I don’t think he knew either until he saw Miss Neill.’

  ‘So, have you written the letter yet?’

  ‘I’ve started,’ Jimmy said. ‘I did a couple of lines before I came out here. It’s not easy, though. I’m no letter writer, and I want to make a good job of it. I’m not going to get much chance to write it, either, what with working in the daytime and sitting in the parlour with Susannah in the evenings.’

  ‘Mmm. And you can’t write at night, because you’re sharing John’s room. That’s hard.’ She frowned in thought.

  ‘I’ll get it written, don’t you worry. It just might take me a few days, that’s all.’

  ‘You should be writing it now.’

  ‘I know. I’d rather be with you, though.’ He rose from his stool and came to stand behind Amy. He slipped his arms around her waist and squeezed while he planted a kiss on the top of her head. ‘I don’t see enough of you, I don’t want to waste my chances.’

  ‘You’ll see plenty of me when we’re married.’ Amy tried to ignore his embrace and carry on shaping the butter into pats. But when he slipped his hands higher to fondle her breasts she gave up, wiped her hands on a towel, and wriggled around so that she could put her arms around his neck and pull his face down for a kiss.

  *

  ‘I thought you didn’t approve of people making spectacles of themselves,’ Lizzie said, cutting into Amy’s thoughts as the two girls stood together outside the church that Sunday. Lizzie had grabbed Amy by the hand and pulled her over to a quiet spot under a tree as soon as the service was over.

  ‘What?’ Amy dragged her gaze reluctantly away from Jimmy, whom Susannah was holding by the arm in her usual proprietorial way. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Your tongue’s just about hanging out, you’re staring at him so hard. People will notice.’

  ‘I’m not!’ Amy said , but she felt herself blush. ‘Was I really, Lizzie?’

  ‘Well, I suppose other people wouldn’t notice as much as I do,’ Lizzie allowed. ‘At least I know you’re mad on him, even if you refuse to tell me anything about what’s going on.’

  ‘There’s nothing to tell. It’s a secret, anyway,’ Amy said, avoiding Lizzie’s eyes.

  ‘What’s a secret?’ Lizzie pounced.

  ‘Nothing. Oh, I’ll tell you as soon as I can, Lizzie, really I will.’ As soon as Pa knows, as soon as he says yes, we’ll be able to tell everyone.

  ‘Why can’t you tell me now, Amy? Is it something you’re ashamed of?’

  ‘No!’ Jimmy says it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve just started a bit early, that’s all. I wish we could get married soon. ‘Please stop prying, Lizzie—oh, there’s Frank.’

  Frank stood just outside the church porch, looking about uncertainly. He glanced at Lizzie’s family, but it was obvious he had not seen what he wanted there. When he caught sight of Lizzie his face lit up.

  ‘Go on, Lizzie.’ Amy gave her a small push. ‘Go and talk to him.’

  Lizzie looked from Amy to Frank, and chewed her lip distractedly. ‘I suppose I might as well, you won’t talk to me.’ She walked briskly over in Frank’s direction.

  Amy followed more slowly. She stood close to her own family group, but carefully avoided looking at Jimmy. I wonder if people really are noticing. But her father and stepmother had shown no sign of being suspicious, and they were the only ones she really needed to worry about.

  Lizzie somehow managed to lead Frank over to her father without actually taking his hand. Amy was glad of the distraction her cousin provided. There was no chance of Amy’s giving herself away by paying any conspicuous attention to Jimmy when she had Lizzie’s performance to watch.

  ‘Pa,’ Lizzie said very sweetly, ‘weren’t you going to ask Frank to come for lunch today?’

  ‘No, I wasn’t,’ said Arthur. ‘But you can come if you want, Frank.’

  ‘I don’t want to be a nuisance,’ Frank said.

  ‘Lizzie’ll be a nuisance if you don’t—she’ll plague me to ask you next week. Oh, stop looking as though you wish the ground would open up and swallow you,’ Arthur said, but the hint of irritation in his voice was more than balanced by amusement. ‘Edie, have you got plenty for lunch?’

  ‘Mmm?’ Edie relaxed the tight hold she had on Ernie’s hand. The toddler took advantage of his freedom to rush over to Rachel Aitken’s children, where he was soon involved in a mutual shoving match. ‘Oh, yes, I think there’s quite a lot. Lizzie seemed to want to get an awful lot ready yesterday.’

  ‘Well, isn’t that fortunate?’ said Arthur. ‘So you think we could make room for Frank today?’

  ‘Oh, he’s always welcome,’ Edie said. She beamed at Frank. ‘He’s almost one of the family now.’

  ‘Almost,’ Arthur echoed. ‘Well, you’d better come and help us eat all that food, Frank.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Leith. I’ll see you later, then.’

  Lizzie walked him over to the horse paddock, and flashed a triumphant grin at Amy as she walked back. When she caught sight of her father looking at her, she replaced the grin with a poor attempt at a detached smile.

  *

  Amy noticed a loose thread hanging down under her petticoats when she was changing into a work dress after church. She recalled that she had caught her finger on the hem of her drawers that morning while dressing. She hitched up her petticoats to check, and saw that the hem of one leg was trailing, with ripped stitches for several inches. At first she decided to ignore the tatty hem for the rest of the day; after all, no one was going to see it. Then the thought struck her that someone just might. Just maybe she and Jimmy would manage to slip away today, and if they did… well, it was best to be prepared.

  She pulled off the unsatisfactory drawers and put them in her washing pile, then rummaged through her underwear until she found the prettiest pair she owned: extra-fine lawn, with three deep layers of lace around each leg and two rows of ribbon above the lace. They felt soft against her skin, and she knew they looked pretty. Is this shameless? Is it shameless to hope Jimmy will like my underwear, Mama? she asked the photograph. But her mother smiled out of the frame at her, and
Amy felt comforted. For the first time, she was glad she did not have a photograph of her grandmother.

  Friday’s drizzle had disappeared as though it had never been, and the afternoon was fiercely hot, drying the last of the rain from the paddocks. The family ate early, and after dinner the heat of the day subsided into a soft warmth without a breath of wind.

  ‘That was a good meal,’ Jimmy said, pushing back his chair. ‘I could just go a nice walk to work it off a bit. Does anyone else want to come?’

  Amy looked up at him, then looked away quickly to hide her surprise at his open invitation. Doesn’t he want us to be alone?

  ‘Oh, yes, I think that would be very nice,’ said Susannah. ‘I’ll go for a little walk with you.’

  ‘Yes, you and I haven’t had a walk together in a long time,’ Jack put in. ‘We’ll take the little fellows, that’ll help them sleep a bit better.’

  ‘Oh. I was going to leave them with Amy.’

  ‘Amy can come with us.’

  ‘I thought she could do the dishes, I’m rather tired this evening.’

  ‘Leave the dishes, Amy, we’re all going for a walk,’ Jack said firmly. ‘They’ll still be there when we get back.’

  ‘All’ did not include John and Harry, who showed no disappointment at being left behind. Jack carried little George, and Amy led Thomas by the hand, while Susannah looped her arm through Jimmy’s. They walked down to the Waituhi, then a short way along its bank until they reached the spot where the Waimarama ran into the larger stream.

  ‘It’s such a clear day,’ Jimmy said, looking up at a sky guiltless of clouds. ‘There must be a wonderful view from there.’ He pointed to a bush-clad hill that rose away from the right-hand bank of the Waimarama.

  ‘Haven’t you been up there yet?’ Jack asked. ‘Amy, I thought you’d shown Jimmy round the place.’

  ‘Not up there, Pa. I’ve only taken him to a few places, really.’