“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” he said, feeling his anger rise at the doubtful sound of her voice. He glanced at his watch. “I’ll be at the clinic in half an hour.”
Scowling, he hung up the phone. His gut instinct told him he was making a mistake. A big mistake. But he’d made Lily a promise. And he wasn’t one to back down from a promise. Like it or not, he was about to become a sperm donor.
Forty-five minutes later, Eric pulled his white Porsche to a stop outside the medical building. Climbing out of the car, he shucked off his suit jacket, threw it onto the passenger seat, then strode toward the offices of the fertility clinic.
He was late. He’d had trouble coercing someone to take his place at the deposition. Luckily, he’d found an associate lawyer fresh out of law school to do him the favor. Mrs. Hunter had agreed to stay and take notes and lead the associate through the deposition.
He skidded to a stop at the clinic’s front desk. The receptionist, a buxom brunette, glanced at him.
“May I help you?”
“Yes, I’m here to...” He cleared his throat. “I’m here to...” He couldn’t say it. For the first time in his adult life, he was at a loss for words.
The brunette smiled. “You must be a donor.”
Eric felt the heat rise on his face. He straightened his tie. “That’s right.”
“Have you donated before, Mr....?”
He glanced over his shoulder. Only one woman, a very pregnant woman, sat in the waiting room, watching him. “Mitchell. Eric Mitchell,” he said, keeping his voice low. “And no, I’ve never donated before.”
Her smile deepened with ill-concealed amusement. She pointed a manicured finger at the group of tweedy gray chairs in the waiting room.
“Have a seat, Mr. Mitchell. Someone will be right with you.”
He sat down, crossing his legs, then uncrossing them. He glanced around the waiting room and caught the curious gaze of the pregnant woman. She smiled at him. He glanced down at his empty hands, then picked up a brochure and skimmed its pages, staring blindly at the words.
He wondered if he was the only man in the entire office. He felt out of place. Worse, he felt as though he were a sperm bull on display and about to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Promise or no promise, he had to get out of there. Brochure still in hand, he stood.
“Eric,” a familiar voice called to him, stopping his hasty exit.
He whirled around. Lily, dressed in a slim blue-jean skirt and Western-style blouse, looking flushed and excited, breezed into the waiting room.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded.
She laughed, her eyes sparkling. “The same thing you are. To make a baby.”
“Now? I didn’t...” Remembering the pregnant woman, once again he lowered his voice. “I didn’t think you’d be here until later. Don’t they have to freeze it or something first?”
“Eric, didn’t you read the pamphlet I gave you?”
He’d skimmed the pamphlet, then forgotten about the damn thing. He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
Lily gave him an exasperated look. “Sperm loses its potency when it’s frozen. The fresher the donation, the better the chance for a successful insemination.”
“Mr. Mitchell?” A husky woman’s voice interrupted them. A nurse, with a curly cap of gray hair and a body that fell in one straight line from shoulders to hips, stood before them. Her horn-rimmed glasses glinted in the light as she nodded in his direction. “Are you Mr. Mitchell?”
“Yes,” he said, choking on the word. His mouth felt as though it were filled with cotton.
“Come with me, please.” She turned, her white shoes squeaking on the linoleum.
“What about you?” he asked Lily, reluctant to leave her side.
The nurse narrowed her gaze at Lily. “Are you the recipient?”
Lily nodded.
The nurse looked at Eric, her expression stern. “She’ll have to wait out here, Mr. Mitchell. No one but the donors are allowed in the cupping room.”
“Cupping room?” His chest tightened.
“It’s okay, Eric,” Lily said. “I’ve brought something to read while I wait.” She dug in her handbag and withdrew a book, a thick tome, at least five hundred pages.
“Come with me, Mr. Mitchell.” The nurse smiled and wagged a finger at him to follow.
The walls seemed to spin as he glanced around the waiting room. The pregnant woman and the receptionist stared at him with frank, curious gazes. The nurse gave him a doubtful look, as though she expected him to take off running like a scared jackrabbit. The thought had crossed his mind. If he was smart, he would walk out the front door and never stop.
His reeling gaze ended with Lily.
Lily. She stood motionless before him, the sparkle gone from her eyes, her expression guarded. The last time he’d seen that look on her face had been three years ago—at David’s funeral. Guilt washed over him. He dropped his gaze to the brochure in his hand. For the first time since picking it up, he read its title, “You and your Baby.” How could he live with himself if he disappointed Lily now?
He raised his eyes, grinned at Lily, then turned to follow the surprised nurse.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, when Lily spotted Eric strolling down the corridor to rejoin her, she had already made up her mind. Eric’s stint as a sperm donor would be a one-shot deal, so to speak.
He’d promised her that guilt had nothing to do with the reason he’d agreed to be a donor. But he’d lied. She’d seen that as plain as the blush on his cheeks. Guilt was the only reason Eric had agreed to help her.
Where would it stop? Would guilt prod Eric to play the doting father to her as-yet-to-be-conceived child? She shivered at the thought. Men, fathers in particular, didn’t last very long in her family. She couldn’t risk letting anyone, especially Eric, get that involved in her life.
Eric sat down in the seat next to her. His smile seemed a little too bright, a little too forced.
“I’ve got this craving for a cigarette, and I don’t even smoke.”
“Eric, you don’t have to joke. I know how hard this was for you.”
His grin was wicked. “Hard wasn’t the half of it, Lily.”
A hot blush stained her cheeks. She glanced around the now-crowded waiting room. “Eric, stop it, or we’re going to get thrown out of the clinic.”
He leaned closer. “Come on, Lily,” he said, his voice low and teasing, sending shivers down her spine. “Tell me the truth. You’re curious about what went on back there, aren’t you?”
She raised her chin. “If handling an embarrassing situation by joking about it makes you feel better, then by all means, go right ahead.”
“I knew it.” He chuckled. “You’re dying to know what really happened.”
She exhaled slowly through clenched teeth.
“Don’t worry.” He winked. “I’ll tell you. First, the nurse took me to this room. A small room, gray walls, tiled floor, a comfortable chair. These people really go out of their way to make you feel at home. In fact, I felt comfortable enough to be in my mother’s family room.” He thought about this for a moment. “Except there aren’t any pictures of naked women on Mom’s walls.”
Lily didn’t dare comment. Sometimes it was hard to tell whether Eric was serious or not.
He shook his head. “Mom’s got a couple of velvet pictures of Elvis. But definitely no naked women.”
Her mother had taught her an appreciation of fine art. The mention of velvet pictures and Elvis in the same breath grated on her sensitive ears. Suddenly she realized how little she knew about Eric’s family. Hoping she didn’t sound snobbish, she asked, “Your mother has velvet pictures of Elvis in her family room?”
He smiled, amused by her surprise. “Don’t worry, Lily. It isn’t genetic. Not one of my sisters or I have a weakness for Elvis.”
She felt as though the breath had been knocked out of her. “You have
sisters?”
“Four of them.”
“Four! You never told me you had sisters,” she said, her tone almost an accusation. A new picture, a more intimate picture of Eric, formed in her mind. Eric with a family. Four sisters and a mother who collected Elvis memorabilia.
He shrugged. “Didn’t I?”
“No, you didn’t.” She couldn’t shake the growing panic in her voice. She’d known Eric for almost five years, they’d been good friends for the past three. How could he forget to tell her something so important? How could she have neglected to ask?
He frowned. “I guess I forgot.”
“Forgot?”
“I’ve always made it a policy to keep my personal life separate from my business life,” he said, fidgeting in his chair.
“Oh? What am I? Business or personal?”
“Neither,” he said quickly. Too quickly. “You’re...different.”
Different? What was that supposed to mean? She studied him, trying to decide whether she should be flattered or insulted. She decided not to think about it.
“Do you have any brothers?” she asked, pushing away the remnants of irritation.
“Nope. I’m the only boy after four girls.” He grinned. “I guess my parents decided to quit while they were ahead.”
Eric’s good humor was contagious. She couldn’t help but smile. “Your father must have felt outnumbered by all those girls. I’m sure he was relieved when you came along.”
For a long moment, Eric said nothing. “I’m not really sure.” His voice softened. “Dad died when I was ten.”
Her smile faded. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to be sorry. It happened a long time ago.”
From the dismissive tone of his voice, Lily could tell Eric wanted to drop the subject. She slumped against the back of her chair, her head reeling with this new insight into Eric’s life.
They had more in common than she’d realized. They had both lost parents. Though she knew her sympathy would be unwanted, she felt her heart go out to him. Eric’s loss seemed much worse than hers. She’d never known her father. Eric had had ten years to get to know and love his. The pain must have been unbearable.
She steered the conversation to safer ground. “Youngest of five. After four girls, no less. I guess that explains a lot.”
“Explains what?”
“The way you act around women.”
He frowned. “Exactly how do I act around women?”
“You’re a charmer, Eric. I’ve never seen you at a loss for words around a woman.”
He chuckled. “My sisters would love to hear that. They used to worry about me, think I was too quiet.”
“You? Quiet?” She smiled.
“With four girls in the house, it was hard to get a word in edgewise.”
Four girls. Four aunts her child would never know. Second thoughts gripped her, shaking her resolve. After all the trouble Eric had just gone to on her behalf, she couldn’t change her mind now. Could she?
Seemingly oblivious to her bout with indecision, Eric glanced around the room. “What are we waiting for now?”
“They have to determine whether your sample is good enough.”
“Good enough?” He looked offended.
“They’re doing a sperm count. If it’s too low, they’ll have to reject your donation.”
He straightened in his chair. “I doubt if that’ll be a problem.”
Eagerly her mind snatched at the possibility. If Eric’s sperm didn’t pass the test, there was still a way out of this tenuous situation. “Then there’s the motility rate.”
“The what?”
“They check to see if they’re good swimmers or not.”
“You didn’t tell me they’d be rating me,” he said, his expression defensive.
Lily bit down the urge to smile.
Their eyes met and held. One second, two seconds, three... They burst into hoots of laughter, gut-hugging laughter that brought tears to their eyes.
Despite being the center of attention in the crowded waiting room, Lily was glad to be laughing. She hadn’t realized how wound up she was until she felt the tension slip from her muscles.
After a moment, she fell back into her chair, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “I don’t know how long the lab will take. There’s no need for you to stay, Eric. I know how busy you are at the office.”
“I’ll wait. I’d like to know if I have to go through this again.”
Her heart skipped a beat. Eric’s jokes to cover his embarrassment, her insight into his family, their laughter at a most inappropriate time, all confirmed her decision. She and Eric couldn’t go through this again. The emotional risks were too great.
“Mrs. Gerard.” Cold panic engulfed her. The husky voice sounded all too familiar. This time the nurse was calling for her. “We’re ready for you.”
“So soon?” Her voice broke.
“The lab’s finished?” Eric asked.
The nurse nodded. “Finished and has given a thumbs-up.”
A pleased smile touched Eric’s face. “How was the sperm count?”
The nurse glanced at the file in her hand. “Well over sixty million, Mr. Mitchell. Strong swimmers. Smart, too. They all seem to be heading in the right direction.”
Lily’s hopes for a last-minute reprieve were dashed. She should have known. Even Eric’s sperm were perfect.
The decision was hers. Should she go through with the procedure or not? Her throat tightened. She swallowed hard at the rising panic.
The chance for a successful insemination the first time around was slim, she reminded herself. A pang of longing filled her. She wanted that chance. She wanted a baby. This would be her only opportunity to try. She wouldn’t ask Eric to be a donor again.
Lily’s legs felt like jelly as she forced herself to stand.
Eric stood, also. He reached out, his fingers encircling her wrist, stopping her. His hand felt warm against her cool skin. She shivered at his touch.
Concern filled his eyes. “Do you want me to wait?”
She hated the thought of going through this alone. But, once before, she’d made the mistake of allowing a man to become too close. Memories of David’s death flooded her mind. A dull pain thumped in her chest. She’d learned the hard way; she couldn’t allow herself to depend upon any man. Eric had to leave.
She shook her head. “No, this will take a while.”
“I don’t mind waiting.”
“The insemination could take a couple of hours. Go on, Eric. Your part is over.”
He seemed reluctant to leave. “Will you call me—later?”
“I’ll call.” She forced a smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
He nodded. Then with a frown he turned on his heel.
Lily watched him leave until she heard the sound of someone clearing her throat.
“Ready?” The nurse smiled reassuringly.
She’d been more than ready when she’d arrived. Now she wasn’t so sure. Lily straightened her shoulders and stood tall, hoping she looked more confident than she felt. “I’m ready.”
Fate and her family’s curse had taken David away from her before she’d been able to have a child, leaving a lonely void in her life. Now, with Eric’s help, fate would have to decide whether she’d be given a second chance.
* * *
Eric paused at the front entrance of the clinic. He rested his hand on the bar that opened the door, feeling the cold metal against his skin. He remembered how cold Lily’s skin had felt to his touch. But, unlike the metal beneath his hand, Lily had trembled.
Was she having second thoughts?
He glanced over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of Lily as she followed the nurse down the hall. She looked scared, uncertain and so alone.
At first he’d balked at the prospect of Lily waiting for him outside the cupping room. But when he returned and saw her face, her beautiful, welcoming face, she seemed heaven-sent in the middle o
f a hell of a lot of confusion. She’d been his calming strength. And now she wanted him to leave.
He tightened his grip on the bar. She’d told him his part was over. In his heart, he knew that she shouldn’t be alone. Sometimes Lily was just too stubborn for her own good.
He spun around and returned to the waiting room, settling himself into the chair Lily had recently occupied. Lily’s perfume, the scent of wildflowers, hung in the air. He breathed deeply, feeling as though a part of her were still there.
Lily would probably be angry when she found him in the waiting room when she returned. Probably use that damn curse, the one she’d tried to convince him had killed David, as an excuse.
He could weather Lily’s temper. He was certain he was doing the right thing. Lily needed a friend to stand by her. And he was going to be that friend.
Chapter Three
“Lily, phone call. Dr. Glaser’s office,” Ann, Lily’s assistant, informed her.
Lily jumped. In her hand, she held a pastry bag filled with icing. With one miscalculated squeeze, the intricate cascade of flowers she’d been designing turned into a blob of white.
Lily closed her eyes, counted to ten and struggled to regain her composure. She opened one eye at a time and peeked at the mess. It looked worse than she had first thought.
Ann, a tall, willowy blonde, stood next to her, studying the cake. Then she swung her curious gaze to Lily. “You okay, Lily?”
“I’m fine. See what you can do with this mess.” Lily handed Ann the pastry bag. “Please?”
Lily picked up a wet towel and wiped her sticky fingers as she hurried to the office. This morning, two weeks after the insemination, she’d gone back to the fertility clinic for a pregnancy test. Dr. Glaser had promised to call her with the results in the afternoon. Now she was about to find out whether she was pregnant.
Not bothering to close the door, she hurried to the phone. “Hello.”
“Mrs. Gerard?” a woman asked.
“Yes,” she said. Her voice sounded breathless, more from excitement than from the rush into her office.
“Please hold for Dr. Glaser.”
A click sounded, then Muzak with a Latin beat filtered over the phone line. Her pounding heart kept time with the pulsing brass horns. Lily took a deep breath, trying to calm her strained nerves.
Hazardous Husband Page 3