The Men of Ramshire - Season 2

by Diane Lennox

  “I take it your home life isn’t ideal either then,” Evgeni replied and opened one of the bottles, pouring himself some water.

  “Why would you say that?” Ezra asked, opening his ale as well and pouring himself a glass.

  “There’s a lot you could have said about my room, at least as an opening comment, but you chose that. That was what resonated with you.”

  Ezra took a sip of his ale. “You’re right. There are a lot of problems in my home and your room looks how I feel a lot of the time, at least around my fathers and grandfather. Nothing said is out of place, nothing is discussed too deeply, and I do my best to keep my personality to a minimum.”

  “Should we start our talk here then? Regarding your fathers and grandfather?” Evgeni asked and sipped at his water as well.

  “We can start wherever you want. I just want to get through a lot of it today because I know we don’t have a lot of time to get me to where I need to be,” Ezra replied and took a larger gulp of his ale this time.

  Evgeni regarded Ezra for a moment. “Do you promise to answer everything I ask truthfully?”

  “As truthfully as I can,” Ezra replied. “I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m lying to myself about a few things.”

  “You must be close to a faerie,” Evgeni said, intrigued by Ezra’s response. It seemed far too practiced.

  “My youngest brother is a faerie. I’m very close with all of my brothers.”

  “I see,” Evgeni said then took a sip of his water while he collected his thoughts. He needed to stay on track or else he was going to end up questioning Ezra about all sorts of things that probably weren’t important at the moment. “So, I may be wrong, but you strike me as a generally passive person, Ezra. I don’t mean a man who won’t act, but simply a man who won’t act until pushed.”

  Ezra remained quiet at first, staring at the table in thought. “I think I may have become that way, yes.”

  “Well then we’re going to start correcting that right away because I don’t believe that being passive is your natural state. Do you agree?”

  Ezra smirked and looked to him. “I think it has become my natural state, but yes, I’d like to change that.”

  “Good,” Evgeni said with a pleased grin. “Then your first challenge is to tell me everything you think I need to know without me prompting you. I don’t know you well enough to know where the problem spots are and me constantly guessing is going to waste valuable time. I’ll of course ask you to elaborate if I want more information, but you need to point me in the right direction at least.”

  “Alright,” Ezra said and sipped at his ale again. “Well, I suppose we’ll start with me admitting that I’ve been avoiding conflict for the past four years ever since a, um, rather traumatic incident.”

  Evgeni simply nodded and waited, glad that Ezra seemed to be forcing himself in a difficult direction right off the bat.

  “Fuck,” Ezra swore softly. “I thought this would be easier the second time around, I already spoke to Marius about some of this. But, um, well I’m part of the Protectors and my brother, Yuri, and I were out on a mission to destroy evidence that someone had collected. That’s usually the extent of my involvement.” He paused suddenly and sighed. “Sorry, need to back up and explain that a bit more, it’ll be important later.”

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry about how coherent all your thoughts are, I’ll ask you if I need clarification. What’s important is that you just let them all out,” Evgeni said.

  He was surprised to hear that Ezra was part of the Protectors, but it wasn’t the first time Evgeni found out an unlikely candidate was part of the secret organization. Rafe, his little brother, was also a part of it due to his incredible hacking abilities. It had been surprising for the whole family to hear of his desire to help out, but they’d also been reassured by a high-ranking member that Rafe would be far removed from any action. Knowing that helped.

  Ezra looked to him, his dark eyes narrowing slightly, but he looked to be studying him, not glaring at him. “You confuse me, Evgeni-khan. It almost sounds like you care about helping me, not just molding me into your little star.”

  “It won’t work if I don’t genuinely help you,” Evgeni replied. “You can be both caring and ambitious, you know.”

  “Can you?” Ezra asked, sounding genuinely curious.

  “Of course. Is that something that’s bothering you? Do you think that if you become ambitious you won’t be able to care about others anymore?”

  Ezra nodded.

  “To be honest, I think it’s worse not to be ambitious. It’s a little rude for you not to try your absolute hardest when your fellow actors certainly are,” Evgeni said then tilted his head a little. “I’m not sure where you learned that ambition is an evil thing, but it isn’t, not in and of itself. Ambition doesn’t mean you’re going to cut down everyone else around you, it simply means you have a goal that you want to reach and the drive to do so. How you go about doing it is entirely up to you.”

  “So then how am I supposed to be caring and ambitious?”

  “Well, you can still help all your fellow actors like I’ve heard you like to do, it just means they might prove to be even tougher competition. I personally find competition invigorating though and I believe it’s something that’s seriously lacking at the Gardenia Theatre. Our current leads are in desperate need of it, that’s for sure. They’ve gotten lazy.”

  Ezra’s eyes went wide. “Should you be saying all that to me?”

  “Why not? I don’t intend for that to be a secret and I’m sure I’ll them myself when the moment is right. Do you not agree with me?”

  “Well, I’m not sure about lazy, but I think maybe they’ve gotten comfortable?” Ezra offered.

  Evgeni grinned, glad to get some sort of opinion from Ezra about his coworkers that wasn’t entirely flattering. “Come now, Ezra, tell me how you honestly feel,” he prompted, hoping to get more.

  Ezra shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, especially when you’ve admitted you may not be keeping all the information I give you to yourself.”

  Evgeni smirked, both annoyed and pleased that Ezra was smart enough to be careful around him. “But you do have opinions about them.”

  “Of course, I think it would be strange if I didn’t.”

  “Very true,” Evgeni replied then decided to leave that be for now, he had bigger battles to fight with Ezra first. “Alright, we’ll leave that be and go back to what you were trying to tell me earlier. We went off on a bit of a tangent.”

  “Can we talk more about ambition later though?”

  “Of course, but we should get this tough stuff out of the way first.”

  Ezra nodded. “Alright. So, um, I became a protector when I learned of my grandpa’s past. His entire family was killed by a creature hunter when he was ten. He was the only survivor.”

  Evgeni felt his eyes widen before he could stop them. It wasn’t often he failed to keep his composure, but it also wasn’t often he heard something so horrible.

  “That wasn’t here, was it?” He asked, though he was pretty sure an event that major would be more well known.

  “No, it was another city, my grandfather didn’t say where. He moved here as soon as he was eighteen to start anew. But yeah, that’s why I became a Protector, I’m scared of something like that happening here. Grandpa wasn’t keen on me joining, or Yuri, but we agreed to only do evidence destroying missions, nothing that would get our hands dirty. Four years ago though, that’s not what happened,” Ezra said and took another big gulp of his ale.

  Evgeni frowned as his gut began to twist inside of him. He had a very bad feeling about what he was about to hear, and it made him feel awful for assuming Ezra’s problems wouldn’t be quite so serious.

  “It was supposed to be just that, but… but the guy was home,” Ezra said, his voice getting shaky. “He was torturing a faerie and I was so shocked I fell out of shadow. He came at me with a knife as soon as he saw me
and we fought and… and I ended up strangling him to death,” he finished and downed what was left in his glass.

  Evgeni opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure what to say. Ezra was a good actor, but there was no way he was lying about this. Besides, Evgeni could always confirm with his little brother later if he did end up having doubts.

  “I told Marius about all of this and we figured out that this is why I don’t want to seem scary – because I know I can be. I became something else entirely that night and I don’t want to go anywhere near that part of myself ever again. But the problem is, Mordred is near that. So near, in fact, that I have to say something that every single faerie is going to hear as truth and not just a line from the play – ‘I’ve killed before, and I’d do it again.’”

  Evgeni let out a weak chuckle, his nerves getting the better of him for a moment. “Dear gods, this is definitely new territory for me.”

  Ezra smirked as he poured himself another glass of ale. “Never had to deal with a murderous actor before?”

  “No, I haven’t,” Evgeni said and stole Ezra’s glass, taking a rather healthy sip of ale before sliding it back to him. “Though now that I know all this the pieces are finally falling into place in my mind. Your paralysis concerning this role seemed so bizarre when I know you’re a very talented actor. What did Marius have to say when you told him about all of this?”

  “He said I have to own it. He… he made me realize that as much as I hate myself for what I did, I wouldn’t have done it any differently given a second chance, and at the end of the day I made the right decision. It just still makes me feel sick.”

  Evgeni took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. This was definitely not what he had expected to be dealing with, and if he were honest with himself, he had no idea what to do. What in the hells were you supposed to say to a man who felt guilty over killing someone? Evgeni had never even imagined meeting someone who had killed before!

  With another deep breath Evgeni closed his eyes and tried to collect his thoughts. First he needed to decide how he, himself, felt about all this. His immediate reaction wasn’t fear, which was good. Despite now knowing that Ezra could kill, Evgeni did not worry for his safety in the slightest.

  He dug a bit deeper, following his feelings, and found the most prominent of them was probably pity, or perhaps sympathy. He felt bad for Ezra that he was forced to do something so soul-altering.

  “I’m sorry you were forced to do what you did, Ezra,” Evgeni said as he opened his eyes and looked to Ezra, giving voice to his thoughts. “But I don’t believe you’re the type of man to do something so violent, so awful, without just cause. I know I don’t know you well at all, but I have my sources, and I know from them that everyone trusts you and is drawn to you. If you were truly cruel or evil there would still be people who would naturally would shy away from you based on gut feelings alone no matter how cheery and friendly you appeared to be, myself included. I tend to be a good judge of character.”

  Ezra shook his head. “You shouldn’t be so forgiving. Marius shouldn’t have been either.”

  “I can see why you’d be skeptical of Marius, you two obviously have some sort of friendship, but I have no reason to be so forgiving.”

  “Neither of you get it. I killed him. Nobody should have power over someone’s life like that. Fuck, I hate that I can do that! That I’m so big, so powerful, that I can do something like that. I can just take a human by the throat and… and…”

  No, Evgeni didn’t understand, and this wasn’t something he could easily empathize with. This was so physical, so visceral, and so far removed from Evgeni’s world. It wasn’t even something he ever considered in his own little thought experiments. Killing people wasn’t something he cared to think about. Completely ruin their lives, sure, but this was entirely different.

  “Lazarus,” Evgeni whispered, his mouth getting ahead of his brain.

  “What?” Ezra asked, looking to him with wide eyes.

  “You need to talk to somebody who would understand. Not myself, not Marius, someone who has actually killed. I realize it’s doubtful Lazarus Kane has killed a person, but he does kill.”

  “Do you even understand what you’re saying right now?! I can’t tell Lazarus Kane that I’ve killed someone!” Ezra all but shouted.

  “Oh, yes, I suppose that would be awkward, especially considering the circumstances,” Evgeni said with a little smirk. Ezra would have to explain that he wasn’t human.

  “No shit!”

  “Forgive me, Ezra, I had no idea this was a problem I was going to run into. I like to pride myself on being a man who can be empathetic in most situations, but killing is definitely out of my expertise. Out of curiosity though, did you feel like you were making headway talking to Marius about it?”

  Ezra nodded. “I think we were making progress, yes.”

  “Then perhaps we should let him take care of that part,” Evgeni said then shuddered a little as he realized why Marius was probably a better fit than himself. “I suppose, being an Amberwood, he would understand violence better than I would.” There was never any concrete proof that the Amberwoods ever did anything, but the battered bodies of the men who crossed them made the rumours of their violence far more credible than anyone was comfortable with.

  Ezra glared, his jaw tensed, and Evgeni was glad that look was directed at the table and not himself, because he looked very displeased, and with knowing now just how violent Ezra could get it did make Evgeni just a little nervous.

  “I wasn’t suggesting that Marius was involved, just that he would know about it,” Evgeni said, hoping to placate the rather angry looking Ezra.

  “I know,” Ezra said. “I just don’t like the idea of Marius having been anywhere near it.”

  “You like him, don’t you?” Evgeni asked, not bothering to be subtle at all about it.

  Ezra started a little, and Evgeni much preferred his off-guard expression to his angry one. “Is this relevant?” He asked.

  “It is. I’m at a loss as to what to do about your fear of pretending to be violent, which annoys me greatly since this would be the first time I’m not able to help someone, but I believe I can help with the sexuality aspect of your role. So yes, knowing what sort of man turns you on is going to be very valuable information to me.”

  “Trees save me,” Ezra cursed and drank more of his ale. “I really don’t want to talk about this sort of stuff with you.”

  “I hope you realize that you’re going to have to.”

  “I know. Because it definitely can’t be with Marius.”

  “Because you can’t talk about sex with the man you want to have sex with?” Evgeni asked with an impish grin.

  “Exactly,” Ezra said and drank more. “I know you said I need to tell you stuff without being prompted, but this sort of thing, fuck, I’m so uncomfortable I don’t even know where to start.”

  “I think maybe we need to start there. Are you uncomfortable because you’re talking to me, or because you’re going to have to talk about sex?”

  “The latter,” Ezra said, covering his face with his hands.

  “Are you a virgin?”

  “No.”

  “Then why are you so shy about it?”

  “Because!” Ezra cried then suddenly downed half his drink in one go. “Because when I had sex in University I did it the way I thought it should be done, with who I thought it should be done with, but it wasn’t what I wanted at all.”

  “And what do you want, Ezra?”

  “Do we have to do this?” Ezra asked, sounding horribly desperate as he fidgeted in his chair. He looked like he was trying to stop himself from bolting out of the room, which was probably exactly what he was doing.

  “Do you want to be lead?”

  “Ugh!” Ezra cried. “I fucking hate this!”

  “Do you feel guilty over what you want?”

  “Yes! No! I don’t know!”

  “I hope whatever you end up telling m
e is super kinky,” Evgeni said with a little chuckle.

  “I hate you right now.”

  “I’m aware,” Evgeni said and took a sip of his water. “Let’s start easy though. What sort of man are you attracted to? Is there a body type you like?”

  Ezra groaned. “I don’t want to drag this out so I’m just going to try to say everything real fast and I don’t want you to interrupt until I’m done. Got it?”

  “Understood,” Evgeni said with a wide grin, eager to hear everything.

  “The men I’m attracted to are Marius Amberwood and Lazarus Kane. I know everybody thinks I should like cute, sweet men, but I don’t. I want to be with men who are dangerous, who could easily take me on either physically or mentally. I also don’t like traditionally beautiful men, I like that Marius and Lazarus look dangerous too. It… fuck, I’m going to regret all of this… it turns me on to think of Marius glaring at me. He was angry with me the other day for talking poorly about myself and the way he looked at me… I touched myself to it that night. I also met Lazarus face to face for the first time the other day. The whole meeting didn’t exactly go as planned, and don’t ask me to get into it, you don’t need to know, but he kissed my hand and I thought I was in the heavens it seemed so surreal and perfect. No man has ever kissed my hand and treated me like I was some sort of precious prince and that’s something I’ve always wanted. Of course I want to protect my men as well, but I want to know that they can protect me too.

  “The reason why Mordred is so hard for me to play sexually is because he’s more like the type of man I want to be with, not the man I want to be. I want Lazarus to reach out for me and look all smug, knowing I’ll come to him, just like Mordred does to Lord Edward in the play. I want to be their little soldier, doing whatever they command of me. I’d… gods… I think I’d do all sorts of things if I was with them. I’d let them tie me up, let them use me and tease me, or even be a little violent with me if that’s what they wanted. I could take it. I’d want to take it.”

  “And there’s no part of you that wants to be aggressive? That wants to perhaps slam Marius against a wall and tear his clothes off?” Evgeni asked, not in the least surprised that Ezra wanted to be dominated in the bedroom. It seemed to be going with the theme of him being more passive.