My heart falls into my stomach. All this hard work and the two sons get away. “So wherever we go and no matter what we do, we will always have to watch our backs,” I say.
“Emma,” my father says in a hushed voice, “You’ll never stop. Even after they are destroyed. This is our life now. This is yours.”
His words ring in my ears and radiate through my body.
Thirty-One
The Damage
My father had been right about so many things. But most of all that my weaponry knowledge and my ability to destroy demons would come to me like second nature. It did. I saw the demons for what they truly were. They weren’t like Silas and his brothers. They were cruel, calculated killers who not only wanted me destroyed, but the rest of us as well.
Even had my family and friends given me over to Damius like he asked, the bloodshed wouldn’t have stopped there. On the contrary, I think our losses would have been greater. I killed three or four of those demons single-handedly. Had I not done that, maybe Silas would be gone, or Rain, or any number of the others. Although the loss of Molly is great, it could have been much worse. There was one person I didn’t see during the fight though. Micah.
We gather around Molly, kneeling at her side. Rain leans over her lifeless body in a bundle of tears. I straighten her body up and place my arms around her, and she weeps. Soon the air changes and in sweeps the all too familiar feeling of Micah’s rescuing presence. Though none of us see him, we know he is there. I lean over Molly and close her eyes to give us all a sense of peace for her. And as quickly as the air flowed in, it goes again and we all know — Molly is now with Micah.
A single tear escapes my eyes. Molly was probably more of a mother to me in these final days than my own was for a long time. But this isn’t my mother to weep for. I’ll do my crying tonight in my room where the others can’t see. For now, I have to be the strong one. At least for Rain’s sake.
Zeke kneels at Molly’s side, takes Rain from my arms, and leads her into the next room. I’m not sure when it happened or how it happened, but it seems Rain has captured Zeke’s heart somehow. She found the love in his heart that we’ve all been searching for, for a while now.
“What do we do now?” I ask, sitting on the floor in a heap of emotion and exhaustion.
“We have to clean up the scene before we call the police. And quickly,” David says.
* * *
As disgusting as it is, the only choice we have is to vacuum up the ashes of the fallen demons. We straighten pictures on the wall and fluff the curtains out to make it appear nothing had happened except maybe a tragic heart attack. When the police arrive that is exactly what they think they have found. A woman in her late forties whose heart gave out.
I watch as the coroner takes pictures, examines, and finally bags her body and wheels it out of the house into the night.
“How did it all come to this?” I mutter, mostly to myself.
“This is the way it’s always been,” Silas says. “This is just the first time you’ve seen it.” He squares my shoulders to face him. “You did everything right, do you hear me? I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but we are lucky that only one of us fell.
“I’m sorry that it happened to such a kind soul, but life isn’t always fair. This is obvious proof of that.”
I head to my room but Silas tries to follow. I hold up a hand. “No. I need to be alone this time.” He nods his head. “Go help the others. They need you more than I do right now.”
He turns and heads back the way he came, and I go into my room, tired and angered. I need not ask him to show himself. Micah is already there.
“You knew,” I say to him. He nods. I walk toward him and push him into the wall. “You knew it would be her! You knew!” I scream as I beat him mercilessly to no avail. He simply stands there, taking the beating before his arms wrap around me tightly, holding me in place.
“How could you take her? Why her?” I cry into his chest.
“I don’t get to choose,” he whispers into my ear, which only sends me into a deeper depression and I fall to his feet in tears.
He kneels in front of me and pulls me up to meet his eyes. My own are soaked in salt water as my chin quivers uncontrollably. “Emma, you have to be strong now. Strong for yourself and everyone else. This is only the beginning. There will always be more battles to fight and more wars to win.”
My eyes close tightly and my head falls. “What if I can’t be that strong? What if I’m not what everyone thinks I am? I don’t know how to be this person.”
“It’s inside of you,” he explains, pointing to my heart. “You will always carry the ones you lost in here and you will become stronger for it. Don’t you see that?”
“I see nothing, Micah. Nothing but death. I was supposed to be her savior and I failed.”
“You’re wrong,” he says. “You are supposed to fight the war. There will be more deaths. There always has been and always will be. But you have to stand tall against all enemies of this group and be the leader they all seek.”
“How?” I ask through my weeping.
He takes me by my arms and stands me up. “You already know the answer to that. It’s in your heart. Carry Molly with you, and when the time is right you can avenge her death. Until then, mourn her as do the others. They will look to you for strength, and you must be that beacon of hope for them.”
Soon my eyes seem to run out of tears, and I can feel the swelling they left behind. When I hear the house fall silent, I lie on my bed and once again become the girl who stares at her ceiling for comfort. How did it all come to this?
“Emma?” Simone’s voice comes flooding into my room.
“Simone!” I say, rising from the bed.
“Oh, Emma! You’re bleeding!” she exclaims.
“No, no. That’s not mine. I peer into her wide eyes and can’t help but grab her into a crushing hug and let go of my emotions one last time. I soak her neck in tears as she coddles me like a crying child.
“It’s okay, Emma. Let it out,” she says.
That night I don’t think anyone sleeps. Silas and I take my bed, while Kutz, Simone, Zeke, and Rain all take blankets and pillows to the floor beneath us. Rain is heard sobbing all night into Zeke’s chest, and to my surprise he just holds her and often kisses the top of her head. Simone checks on me several times, but I act as though I was asleep, wanting no more attention brought to myself than need be for the remainder of the night.
Silas simply strokes his fingers through my hair all night and his light, even breathing gives me something to focus on. I try to synchronize with it to make sure I’m doing it properly. Often my heart begins to race and my breathing becomes erratic and Silas simply whispers to me, “It’s okay. Breathe like me.” And so I did.
When morning comes, the others file out of the room and head into the living room to meet with everyone else who decided to stay. I don’t think anyone trusted themselves to leave people behind, or perhaps they were all too scared to go home alone. Either way it was like the big family I always wanted. Only a sad one.
“Do you think we will feel this way forever?” I ask Silas, still laying my head on his chest.
“No, not forever. But for a while.”
“Is it the same for you as it is for me?”
“I think it’s probably a lot harder on you. More so than anyone. Rain is heartbroken over her mother, it’s true. But time will heal her pain enough that she can carry on. Being their leader, you will carry everyone’s pain for the rest of your life. It’s a high price to pay.”
“One I didn’t ask for,” I mutter.
“No, you didn’t. But we can’t hide from who we are.”
“You don’t think you’re hiding?” I ask. “You have two brothers out there somewhere. Are you not the least bit curious about them?”
He shakes his head. “I know enough about them already. They follow my father, which tells me everything I need to know. To Huntsmen, bloodlines mean everyt
hing. But to my kind it means nothing. We are able to make our own decisions.”
“And I’m not?” I ask. Surely I am still a human capable of free will.
“You are. But I know you well enough to know you would never run away and leave this amount of destruction for the ones you love to deal with. The only one I loved was my mother and she is gone now. My only allegiance now is to you. For as long as you stay here, so will I.”
I wrap my arms around him and for the first time since it all happened I close my eyes. I feel safe in his arms and somehow, I know there are no evil demons around me. Maybe it’s that sixth sense of mine. Whatever it is, I finally feel okay.
I am in his arms and he isn’t going anywhere without me. That is enough to carry me through to the next battle and the next and so on. As long as I have my love by my side I know I will be able to conquer anything.
“Do you need some help getting to sleep?” he asks, as he continues stroking my hair.
“No. I’d just like to lie here for a while longer if that’s okay. It’s been so long since we’ve been able to hold one another like this. Feels like an eternity ago.”
“Yes, but if we play our cards right, we’ll have an eternity to continue it, with maybe a few speed bumps along the way,” he says. I know he’s trying to find a way to make light of everything and I commend him for it. Maybe it does help a little.
Just now I hear a laugh coming from the living room. A female laugh. I peek up at Silas and he’s smiling.
“Who was that? Simone?” I ask.
“Rain.”
“You’re kidding. Why is she laughing?”
“Because Zeke is joking with her. He certainly has a way with that girl. Who would have thought?”
Just like that, my mind is put further at ease, and I can almost see the light at the end of this dark tunnel. “Okay, maybe you can help me sleep now.”
Thirty-Two
The Beginning
It doesn’t rain today, as it did when my real mother died. That day it was as if Heaven itself cried. Today the sun is shining outside and birds fly through the trees whistling. I hear the preacher’s words from somewhere far away. I’m sure it hasn’t escaped the preacher’s notice that all the same people are attending this funeral as the last, and so close together, mind you.
Still, I watch as Zeke holds Rain tightly around the waist while she sobs into his shoulder. The feeling of deja vu is thick in the air and on the tips of everyone’s tongues. The only mother figure we all had left is gone. It goes without saying how much that hurts us all. It’s as if all our childhoods have come to an end in one swoop.
Not just any life was taken that day. Maybe the most important one was. Molly who welcomed everyone. Molly who believed in our cause before anyone. And Molly who is being lowered into the ground as we speak.
Most people leave red roses on the coffin of their dead as a sign of love. As we pass by, we all leave yellow ones — a sign of true friendship. She will always be a part of us, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who wishes Eric and Alec would come for us sooner than later so that we may have our vengeance and the judgment they deserve.
None of us know just how many demons were there. It all happened so fast, the whole event is only a blur. Hatchets being wielded, the shining of knives cutting through the air in attack, and green-faced monsters that we’ve all seen and now know are real. And there’s no way to track them.
All we can do is wait as we continue to bury our loved ones one at a time. Micah was right when he said we were lucky. I see that clearer now. It could have been so much worse. But as I glance to Rain, who now wears her mother’s gold ring on a chain around her neck, my eyes fill with tears. How many more will have to perish?
When we leave the funeral, none of us want to return to the safe house. We’ve all been self-consciously stepping over Molly’s place of death for days now. The house is always dark without a speck of light pouring in, and I’m sure we’ve all shed our fair number of tears there — those of us able to cry out our feelings.
Still, we all return to pack up our belongings. It’s quiet as we sift through everything. Rain grabs her mother’s overnight bag and begins packing the few things Molly brought with her to this place, and we all pretend not to see — giving her privacy in her time of loss.
“Nothing will ever be the same,” I whisper to Silas who is helping pack up my room with me.
“Nothing ever is once you lose someone,” he states. I cringe at his words. I know he didn’t say them to be crude, but still his words are so honest I grimace against them. “She still has her father. We should be thankful for that.”
“She does? I wasn’t even aware she had a father to speak of.”
“Zeke told me. Apparently, they are as close as you and I are. It’s good for them both. They’ll both need someone now,” he explains.
“And you? What will you do now?”
“I have a business to run.”
“And you could go back to it so easily as if nothing has happened?” I ask, shocked.
He stops folding clothes long enough to glance up to me. “Emma, this is what we have to do…as humans. Every day people lose the ones they love, and they must muster the strength to carry on. Not as if nothing happened, but as if life goes on, because it does. It has to.”
As much as I hated to admit it, I knew he was right. This is what people do. They live, they love, they lose. Always in that order and always with the same result. Yes, I suppose life has to carry on.
* * *
We all seem to arrive at my house now. The half-breeds and angels have all returned home, and what’s left of the Huntsmen and the brothers. We all find our way to mine and my father’s house where I know what comes next. It’s time to finish my initiation. This time we can’t be stopped. Although there’s still a small piece of me that hesitates at the thought of being inducted into a secret society.
Still, my father passes around the candles and each person lights theirs off the next person’s. Rain, David, Bill, and my father put on their hooded dress robes, and so begins the ritual. All the candles are lit as I drink from a cup, promising my undying allegiance to the society and to what is “right,” as they say. This is what Molly died for, and surely she was the best of us.
So, I do as I’m told as my father swears me in with his tattered Bible. The ritual is a simple one, and when it’s over there are no claps of hands or on the shoulder even. Only silence follows as we are all still grieving. Maybe this is how it’s always been — laying one to rest and swearing in a newcomer. The circle of life so it seems, at least for Huntsmen.
There was no blindfold or hoops I had to jump through. If there were, I already soared through them the day of the battle. And they wouldn’t want a member blindfolded. They want me to see everything so I know exactly what I’m getting myself into, as if I have a choice.
When it’s all said and done, the members take off their robes and blow out their candles. The remainder of whatever it is I drank from is disposed of, and I plop down on the couch for a much-needed rest. I finally feel like I can breathe, even if it only lasts for a little while.
“So, was it everything you thought it would be?” my father jokes.
“And then some,” I say. “Dad, you’ve been doing this for years. Is this always how it is?”
“Not always, no. We are lucky to live in a small town. There are fellow members from larger places like Houston, Las Vegas, and so forth. They have a rougher time finding and destroying them. But there are times, like today, when you wonder how you will carry on.
“But trust me when I say you will. You find a way. Because one day you have a family and you have people who depend on you for protection. And then it comes natural. Everything you train for and everything you fight for shows itself. You’ll always do what you’re supposed to do. It’s in your blood.”
“I’m tired of hearing that,” I retort. “Look at Silas. Blood means nothing to him. He’d sooner pic
k us over his father or brothers and so he has.”
“Are you saying you wouldn’t choose your blood over Silas?” he asks.
“I wouldn’t choose one over the other, period. You are equally important to me. But it’s not blood that makes a person. It’s character. It’s what’s on the inside of that person, what they fight for, who they love, how they live. Silas knows that better than anyone.”
My father leans back on the couch besides me and draws in a ragged breath. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe that’s what being the Bellator is all about. Your ability to see someone or something for who they truly are.
“That will be as helpful to us as it is to Silas and the others. For now, rest up, baby.” He kisses me on the forehead before he wanders into the kitchen where Rain has begun taking over and cooking for everyone, just as her mother once had.
I’m not hungry, but I’m glad Rain is well enough after everything to feel like cooking. As for Silas, he sits beside me on the couch now and takes my hand in his, kissing it. I stare up him with a new sense of purpose.
“It’s a good thing. Your induction. Don’t doubt it,” he says.
I lean my head further back. “I don’t doubt it. I just don’t think it was necessary. I can hunt bad guys without this on,” I say, twisting the ring back and forth on my middle finger.
“Even still, for your father’s sake it’s a good thing. And as you can see, this isn’t only a society. It’s a family. And as someone who’s never had one, I can admit I find comfort in it myself. You should, too.”
As always, he knows just what to say to bring me back to where I should be. I glance behind me at the kitchen full of smiling faces, half-breeds and humans alike, and it dawns on me that I made it all possible. I created this family for myself and here they all are, gathered together in laughter and food, just as a supper should be.
I know everything that has happened is the past now, but I also know there will be more and I have a family willing to die for me. This is only the beginning.
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