by Jessa Eden
“I do.”
Once down the stairs, we were met with a beautiful display of desserts atop a gorgeous wooden dining room table which extended through a good chunk of the room. It was a spread of every dessert imaginable—cupcakes, petit fours, cheesecake, baklava, flan, pie, even freshly made doughnuts.
“Do you trust Sam with all these women?” I asked, turning to Grace as we eyed the desserts.
“Yeah, he can look, but he can’t touch. He knows the rules.”
“Rules?”
“He’s a man. It’s in his biology to look, but he can practice self-control and protect the sanctity of our marriage.”
“That makes sense. I’m glad to know there are men out there who can be trusted.”
“Yes, there are and I suspect under all this fluffy playboy shit Beau is tossing at you, he is too,” Grace surmised as she got a plate.
That was definitely food for thought.
Sidling up to the buffet, I took a doughnut off a platter and bit into it. The cake was still warm and it melted right on my tongue, the sugar tasting like heaven on Earth.
“Oh, my god! Yummy!” I said, taking another bite.
“I know. This cupcake is to die for!” Grace exclaimed as she pointed to the moist chocolate yummy goodness on her plate.
Okay, I was totally wrong about pastry chefs...God bless ‘em!
I wish I had one.
We got busy filling our plates and headed back upstairs, so we wouldn’t stand there all night devouring everything in sight. We hit the third deck and took a seat in one of the many lounging areas with modern black and white couches.
Micah and Sam were talking with Beau across the way, probably discussing hockey as they smoked their cigars. They seemed so normal, like they were in a backyard drinking a beer and hanging out, instead in the middle of an orgy.
Speaking of which, two young ladies walked by, ogling the hot hockey players, who were oblivious to their admirers.
This whole setup bothered me and I was irked enough to blurt out, “Unbelievable...Did I miss something? Are we in Baltimore or on Miami Beach?”
“You know Beau’s just trying to get under your skin, right?” Grace asked as she popped a little chocolate mint into her mouth.
The cool air grazed me as I tried to breathe deeply and enjoy my second doughnut. “Yeah, I know. I hate that it’s working.”
“Is this how he was in high school?” Emma asked as she dug into her cheesecake on a real china plate with a real fork.
“I remember him liking to party, but nothing like this.”
“So, he’s changed a lot?” she asked.
“I don’t know. It sure seems like it. But maybe it’s all an act. It’s hard to say.”
“Just try and be cool, Marla. Act like you don’t care,” Grace advised.
I sighed heavily. “Easier said than done.”
They both shot me sympathetic smiles as we continued to talk. But I found it hard to ignore the rest of the party as a parade of women nuzzled up to Beau. I could tell he loved every second of their lusty attentions.
Jealously reared its ugly head and I was desperate to get away from all the action. “I gotta get up and find a quiet corner to get some fresh air,” I said to no one in particular.
“You do realize that we’re already in the fresh air?” Emma teased.
“Ha-ha. Aren’t you funny tonight?”
“Come on, Marla. It could be worse. This could be a swinger’s party with everyone actually having sex in front of us,” Grace joked.
I tried to smile. “You’re right. That would be worse. But I just can’t stay here and watch this show anymore.”
Emma threw me a supportive glance. “Okay, but don’t go too far. I don’t want to catch you grinding up on anybody you don’t know.”
I laughed, despite my frustration. “Believe me, that’s not going to happen.”
I set off and wandered around the large ship, taking in the enormity of Sunshine’s fool. Even though the ship was state of the art, I felt like I was on a bad singles cruise I couldn’t escape from.
“Can you hand me that ball?” a feminine voice called as I saw a Ping-Pong ball rushing toward my feet.
“Sure,” I said, handing it back to a busty blonde in a leopard print bikini, who actually gave me a genuine smile.
“You wanna play?” She nodded toward the Ping-Pong table behind her.
“No, thanks, I’m just taking a walk.”
“Okay. Suit yourself.” She shrugged and headed back to her game as I meandered across the deck to a bar on the other side.
I was eager for some liquid courage. “Can I have a rum and coke?” I asked the handsome young bartender wearing only a pair of blue swimming trunks.
“Coming up,” he told me as I observed two women making out in a corner, kissing each other as if they were in a porno, while two men gazed on in total lust, sipping their drinks.
The few single guys who were on the ship were bombarded with flirtatious smiles, suggestive remarks, and sensual caresses. It seemed so terribly trite, the overzealous girls polished in their erotic routine, almost like it was professional.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole spectacle was Beau trying to punish me.
Which was so different from when we were young.
He could be so thoughtful and endearing, like the time he found me in the school greenhouse after he had turned in his paper.
“Do you always hang out with the plants?” he asked, staring at the yellow begonia I was repotting.
“I just prefer to be around living things that appreciate me,” I said, running my work glove across my nose, trying to relieve an itch.
“You’ve got a little dirt there,” he said, grinning at me.
His smile stole the breath from my chest as I touched my cheek, apparently leaving another smudge.
He laughed. “Now you have another.”
I blushed as I took off the cotton gloves and rubbed my face and nose with my hand.
“Here. Let me get it.” He leaned forward and brushed his fingers ever so lightly against my cheek.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as we stared at each other, something dangerous filling the air.
Attraction.
Lust.
Connection.
I didn’t want to deny what was happening between us, but I wasn’t sure he was feeling the same way. He thought about relationships so differently than I did.
Casual to my serious.
It was probably best we were done with his paper.
“Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for all your help,” he said, breaking the electricity crackling between us.
I smiled big at him. “Yeah, you’re welcome. I’m glad it worked out well for you. You deserve that B.”
“It felt good, you know?” he said, his blue glance bright with confidence.
I loved seeing him feel so successful. “I do know. We worked really hard on that paper.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You’re welcome, Beau. I’m glad everything worked out.”
“Me, too.”
Another long, hungry stare passed between us as I wondered if this was the last time I would see him. Time stopped for a second as we lingered, lost in one another.
Finally, he nodded toward the door. “I gotta get going. I have to study for a physics test after I go to practice.”
“Wow. Look at you being all studious,” I teased, trying to keep things light.
“Yep, I have you to thank.”
“Nah, that was all you. I just helped a little.”
His blue gaze turned serious again. “No, Marla. You’ve done more than that. You showed me I could do something I didn’t think I could do. It’s got me trying all kinds of new things, like studying.”
I beamed under his sincere praise. “My pleasure, Beau. I’m glad you got something out of our time together.”
He traveled the few steps between us. “Oh yea
h, I really enjoyed working with you. What about you? Did you get anything out of our time together?” His glance was naked with hope.
I nodded. “I did. You reminded me I’m still a kid and I need to have fun sometimes.”
A proud smile erupted from his gorgeous lips. “That’s good, Sunshine. I’m glad I could help you with that.”
“You did. We ended up being a good team.”
“Yeah, we are a good team,” he said quietly, his gaze teeming with honesty. “A really good team.”
I swept my hand across my hair-sprayed bangs as I tried to figure out what to say. I wanted to blurt out, ‘don’t go...I like you...I’ve never felt this way before’, but I remained mute, too scared to say anything.
“Well, I guess I should get going,” he said as my heart crashed into my stomach.
I tried to mask my disappointment by blessing him. “I wish you well, Beau Shepard.”
“Do you?”
I couldn’t help letting my affection shine through my gaze. “Yes, with all my heart. Good luck with hockey, Beau. I hope you get what you want out of life.”
“You too, Sunshine. I wish you well. I know you’ll go far.” His blue eyes were warm with something that made me want to melt in a puddle at his feet.
But I didn’t. Instead, I nodded appreciatively, trying to keep my emotions in check.
He turned to leave as my heart hammered in my chest, wondering if this was all there was to it. He took a few steps toward the door and suddenly stopped, making an abrupt about face back to me. “Can I just do something before we go back to our lives?”
“Like what?” I asked breathlessly.
“Like kiss you.”
Talk about thrilling. My toes practically curled in my tennis shoes.
I gazed into his hot gaze, smoldering with intensity. “You’ve never asked me before.”
“I would just kick myself if I didn’t try.”
My lips parted in anticipation, his words pooling in the depth of my belly. “Yeah, you can kiss me.”
He took two big steps forward, his right hand curling around the side of my face. I gasped at his touch, my entire body coming to life.
Oh, he was serious about this kissing business.
He leaned in and I closed my eyes, wondering what my first kiss would be like. His breath was on mine and I gasped again, passion rushing through me.
“Shepard, I know you’re in there! Get your ass out here, so we can get to practice!” An annoyed male voice yelled through the greenhouse door.
“Shit!” Beau said, bowing his head forward against mine. “I gotta go.”
“Yes, it would appear so.”
“Rain check?”
“Maybe.”
His blue eyes were ablaze with desire as his head snapped up. “I will kiss you one day, Sunshine. I promise you that.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” I challenged as my heart lit up with hope.
*****
We had started with so much promise, so much potential.
But it didn’t matter anymore.
Now, I was on board the party yacht to nowhere.
I tried to erase the images of Beau being fondled by every girl on this boat just as another Amazonian chick, sporting a pink bikini walked by me, too gorgeous for words.
Who wears a bikini at night?
On the ocean?
It was a dirty, little set-up.
I found a cozy little alcove on the back of the yacht, where I could just watch the sea and pass the time until we were back to the shore. The purr of the engine kept me company while I gazed into the ocean, resting my arms against the railing.
“Oh, Beau,” I heard a feminine voice coo, on the deck above me as I leaned over the stern railing.
“Yeah, baby. What do you want?” he asked in a soothing voice.
“I want you,” she purred, “right now.”
I did not want to hear this.
“I’m neglecting my friends. I can’t be with you right now,” Beau said.
“Aaah,” she pouted. “You promise to come back?”
“Maybe. I’ll be back if I can.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as they retreated from the deck above me.
Beau was free to live his life the way he wanted, but that little exchange disappointed me. I knew he was capable of love and intimacy. In fact, I knew he craved it.
But I had ruined relationships for him.
Damn it.
Now, he was just wasting himself going from one-night stand to one-night stand. I didn’t want that for him.
“It’s a little too much, isn’t it?” a voice asked out of the darkness.
Startled, I turned around. “What?” I asked as a young man came out of the shadows.
“I said, isn’t this party too much?” He looked like a college kid dressed in a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a Tommy Crew blue and white striped T-shirt.
“Oh, yeah, way too much. Does Beau always do this kind of thing?”
“Pretty much. Although, tonight I think he’s enforcing a skimpy bikini requirement for all those girls.”
“Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t get that memo,” I said, pointing to my modest outfit.
“You look great!” he said, twisting his head and throwing his brown bangs off his head, Justin Bieber style. He was adorable, reminding me of Charlie.
“So this isn’t normal?”
“Not really. He usually has some girls on the yacht, but not this many.”
Told you...setup.
“So how do you know Beau?” I asked my new friend, who had no problem providing me with information.
“I work for him. I’m actually one of his interns.”
“You are?”
“Yep, for about six months now.”
My curiosity was piqued. “How is Beau as a boss?”
“He’s tough. He wants things done his way, but he’s pretty fair and generous with his time and money.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“I’m Dane, by the way,” he said, holding out his hand.
“Marla,” I offered as we shook hands. “Good to meet you.”
“Likewise. How do you know Beau?”
“We went to high school together,” I said, supplying the simplest answer.
“And you’re still friends?”
“I don’t know that I would call us friends. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. But somehow I find myself on his boat tonight.”
He chuckled softly. “I don’t know if he would like you calling his yacht a boat.”
“Why not?”
“He’s kind of particular about that kind of stuff.”
“See, I knew Beau when he was just a cool kid on his way to having a hockey career.”
“What was he like then?”
“Obviously, he was a little more laid back. The Beau I knew would never care about what things were called or worry about having a playboy image. He had a great sense of humor, laughed easily, and looked out for others. He was a great guy.”
“I guess everybody was young once.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Out of nowhere, Beau stepped out of the shadows, surprising both of us.
“Hey, Beau,” Dane greeted as his back went ramrod straight.
Beau coldly glanced at his intern. “Dane, why don’t you see to my other guests?” he asked, his voice all command.
The intern’s eyes got wide. “Sure, boss,” he said and scurried off.
Such audacity, after making me watch him grind up on half the women in Baltimore. “Really, Beau? You don’t have anything better to do than terrorize your interns?”
“You’re still looking out for the underdog, I see.”
“Yeah, I do look out for others. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“But Dane was interested in a little more than being nice to you.”
“He’s a kid, Beau. He’s my so—” I stopped myself before mentioning my son, Charl
ie. “I mean, he’s just young, okay? Too young. I’m almost forty-one.”
“That’s right. You have a birthday in a couple of months.”
“You remember that?”
“What can I say? I remember useless dates and facts all the time.”
Ouch, that one hurt.
“Good to know you still have a memory like a steel trap. But it wouldn’t kill you to be a little nicer to the people who work for you.”
His jaw stuck out stubbornly...his beautiful jaw. I wanted to run my hand along its rough edge and see if the texture had changed since he’d grown into a man. But the scowl on his face told me he wasn’t about to let me find out.
“If Dane can’t take me being mean to him, he’s in the wrong business,” Beau clarified, as if it justified whatever he wanted to say.
“Since when did you become so cynical?” I asked.
He scoffed. “Do you really have to ask that?”
“I haven’t seen you in a long time. I know there are things—“
“Did you mean what you said?” he asked, cutting me off.
“What did I say, Beau?”
“That I was a great guy in high school.”
“What does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” His face was shadowed by the overhang of the deck above us, making it hard to read his facial expression.
I was done playing games as I sighed heavily. “Yeah, Beau. I meant it.”
Our eyes met as he came toward me, a glimpse of the old Beau shining through as our gazes held. He even leaned against the rail like he was interested in continuing our conversation.
Maybe we could move on from the past. Maybe he was ready.
That hope compelled me to apologize. “Beau, I just wanted to say I’m—”
His relaxed face suddenly grew stone cold. “I don’t want to hear it.” Without another word, he shoved off the lip of the deck and walked off.
“I’m sorry for breaking your heart,” I whispered to the sea air. “I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry,” I said softly, the wind carrying the words out to the ocean, keeping it a secret for another day.
Pop! Pop!
Fireworks lit up the night sky, so I went back to where I’d left my sister and Grace to enjoy the show. I tried to concentrate on the rainbow of colors in the sky, but I still saw Beau had his arm draped around yet another woman. This one had legs that went on for days.