by Jessa Eden
Sadness poured over me as if a pitcher of cold water had been tipped over my head. The stark reality I had been facing all night hit me squarely in the face. Beau and I were never going to get back together. He was throwing all these women in my face to show how much he had moved on.
“Earth to Marla,” Grace said as I stared into space, wishing I wasn’t on this damn boat.
“What?”
“Where are you, girl?” she asked.
I sighed. “I’m struggling. It was a bad idea to come aboard tonight.”
“So why does seeing Beau bother you so much?” Emma asked, curiosity bright in her gaze.
“It’s a long story. But basically Beau and I fell in love when I was his tutor. I thought we would be together always, but it didn’t turn out that way,” I said flatly.
“Well, that explains a lot,” Emma said.
“Your sister really loves him,” Grace chimed in.
“Is that true, Marla?” Emma’s glance searched mine.
“Yeah, I still love him,” I admitted.
“Does he still have feelings for you?” my sister asked gently.
“Just look at all this.” Grace swept her hand from side to side, pointing to the massive party of mostly women.
“That’s true. Beau does seem to have gone to a lot of trouble to bring all these ladies aboard,” Emma agreed. “I think he still has feeling for you.”
“Yeah, like hate and disgust,” I offered dryly.
“No. There’s more to it than that. You just need to hang in there. Pretend you’re having a good time. Laugh, Marla. Act like I just said something funny,” Grace implored me.
I tried to shake off my sadness. “Okay,” I said, letting out a fake burst of laughter.
“Good. Don’t let him see how upset you are. We’re almost home,” she encouraged.
I nodded, the pressure in my chest growing, almost crushing me.
Hold it together, Marla. You’re almost there.
I made it until I saw the harbor, the bright lights of the city welcoming us back. I could barely breathe by the time we docked. I wanted out of there.
“Emma, I’ll wait for you by the car. I can’t stand this any longer,” I told her as I hightailed it to the exit.
She nodded understandingly as I made a beeline for the dock. I marched down the gangplank, determined to get onto dry land.
I just wanted to get away, but Beau was hot on my heels, not content to let me go in peace. I’d had it. He was going to get what he wanted from me—an epic reaction.
“You made your point, Beau,” I yelled wildly, running down the gangplank before he grabbed my arm.
I turned, ready to do battle.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Beau:
I studied Marla closely as I fondled and flirted with the women I’d hired to play the part. My plan was working; she was crumbling. I could see it in her eyes, every time she glanced my way.
Why didn’t I feel good about it?
Why did I still care about her feelings?
It hadn’t helped I’d heard her voice as I was passing by the little alcove on the stern railing, her words catching me off guard.
“The Beau I knew...was a great guy,” she offered wistfully, as if she meant it.
I stepped out then, compelled to reveal myself as I’d chased off that little pip-squeak of an intern when I saw the way he looked at Marla.
She’d immediately challenged me about the way I was treating Dane, but her concern was just an act she had perfected over the years. Still, it was stupid and foolish of me to ask her if she meant what she said about me.
But she didn’t lie or back down.
She just told me the truth and, for a brief moment, I remembered how good I felt when I was with her.
I didn’t know what to do with that.
Then she fucked up and tried to apologize about the way she broke up with me, and that would have ruined everything. I wasn’t about to let her off the hook.
I walked away, her doe eyes full of remorse as I left her standing on the back of the ship. For the rest of the evening, I watched her as she stayed tight with Emma and Grace.
I left her alone until the yacht docked, when I caught a blur of movement out of the corner of my eye as someone shot by me.
I could tell it was her. I still hadn’t lost my ability to recognize the way she moved, full of purpose, but light on her feet. I bolted after her before I even realized what I was doing. I followed her down the gangplank as I grabbed her bare arm, her skin just as soft as I remembered.
She looked back at me. “Leave me alone!” Her eyes were full of tears. “I don’t know why I even came tonight. It was so stupid!”
“Poor, pitiful Marla. Always the martyr,” I seethed, trying not to be sucked in by her act. “Don’t come on my yacht, pretending you’re above it all.”
Her glance glittered with challenge. “Above it all? Who’s the one parading out his big, fancy yacht with all the slutty girls at his disposal?”
“I don’t have to apologize to you. I owe you nothing, Marla Matthews. Nothing!”
She wiped at her eyes. “You’re right. You don’t owe me anything. I just always thought if we saw each other again, we could just be nice to one another. Wish each other well. That sort of thing.”
“That’s a fuckin’ lie. How can you ever expect us to be friends and forget the past?”
“Because it’s been twenty years.”
I scoffed. “Not happening.”
“Why? We’re adults. I can handle it. Can’t you?”
“I wish I’d never met you, Marla Matthews,” I admitted.
Visibly shaken, she took my words hard. “If only you knew the truth, Beau. You would find it in your heart to forgive me,” she let out brokenly.
“A heart? I don’t have one of those anymore. You made sure of that.”
Her doe eyes filled with compassion. “Oh, Beau.”
A cold sneer crept across my face. “Don’t look at me like that. Don’t pretend to know the hell I’ve been through.”
She crumbled more under my spiteful words. “I won’t pretend. I know it’s been hard for you. But why don’t you tell me?” she pleaded.
“Tell you what?” I asked.
“Why does it have to be this way? Can’t we just let bygones be bygones?”
“Is that what you want? For everything that’s happened between us to be a goddamn bygone?”
She nodded, hope in her eyes.
I leaned in close as fierceness blazed from my gaze. “We will never be a bygone. Never.”
*****
Yeah, that didn’t go down exactly as I had planned.
Marla was a lot more emotional than I anticipated.
So was I, for that matter.
She just brought it out of me. I’d been almost numb for twenty years; but put me in the same room as Marla Matthews, and I was a floodgate of feelings.
Damn it.
She ran off, leaving me standing there, wondering what the hell had just happened. I shook my head and cursed myself for letting her get the best of me.
I tried to let it go over the next few days, burying myself in a pile of work so deep I didn’t have time to think about anything else. That’s what I did when I didn’t want to deal with my shit.
Anyway, that Thursday, around seven, I hustled over to the Baltimore Arena to watch the Gators take on Texas. As I arrived, my luxury box hummed with the noise of the boisterous crowd.
This was my second home during hockey season. Sleek and modern, I’d had it decked out with a full kitchen, bar, a full wall of TV’s and a pool table. The ultimate man cave. It was a great place to do business while being entertained by the game. But every once in a while, I scheduled it for myself.
I sat in one of the plush chairs, going over some paperwork as I watched the game. It was a never-ending cycle which required my constant attention. When I was starting out in real estate, I’d hired a reading specialist who helped me
overcome my Dyslexic issues. I was able to read much better these days.
“Would you like another scotch, sir?” Joaquin, the waiter asked as I looked over a contract.
I handed him my glass. “Yeah, bring me another...no, wait.” I needed to loosen up a little bit. Nothin’ like a cold beer to relax me. “Why don’t you bring me a beer? A Fat Tire.”
“Sir?” Joaquin questioned as his young face melted into confusion.
I didn’t drink much beer.
“Yeah, I know. But I want a Fat Tire.”
He smiled. “One Fat Tire coming up.”
I returned my attention to the game as he left. We were down 2-1, but I was confident we could turn it around.
Joaquin brought me a glass of foamy beer and placed it in the cup holder next to me as I gave him strict instructions to be left alone. People bothered me with the dumbest shit and I just wanted a break from everything.
A few minutes later, I heard the door open. “I said no visitors, Joaquin.”
“Oh, am I a visitor now?” Micah Turner’s deep voice rumbled from behind me.
I turned around in my seat to look at the giant hockey player. He even had me by a couple of inches. “Oh you are definitely not a visitor, man. Come on in and have a seat.”
I was glad to have him as company. We could talk shop and I didn’t have to worry about him wanting anything from me. He wasn’t impressed by my wealth or the fact I was the owner of the team. He was a rare guy.
“You want something to drink?” I asked.
“A beer would be good,” he said, sitting down next to me.
I signaled Joaquin as I asked, “What brings you out tonight?”
“Just wanted to catch the game from the best seat in the house.”
“Good call. I could use a little company.”
“I know. You work too hard.” Micah studied the game as the Gators battled to get possession of the puck. “Richardson’s playing hurt. That shoulder is taking a long time to heal,” he offered.
“You know how he is, though. Won’t stay off the ice unless he’s unconscious.”
“Yeah, I know. You should piss him off and tell him he’s playing like a girl.” He smiled slyly as he took a drink of his beer.
I laughed, thinking about how tough-as-shit Richardson would react to being told he was playing like a girl. Let’s just say it wouldn’t go over well.
“DeLuca should be getting more playing time. He’s been on fire lately,” Micah added.
“Yeah, he has been playing well. But I’m just the owner, man. Not the coach.”
“Are you telling me you don’t have any influence with Coach Tremblay?”
“I gotta let everyone do their job, man. He’ll figure it out. He’s one of the best coaches in the pros. Speaking of which, why aren’t you coaching? You seem to really care about what’s happening on the ice.”
“Maybe someday, when the kids are older. But I’m having too much fun with them right now to sacrifice that kind of time.”
“So you’re enjoying being a dad?”
He got a goofy look on his face. “I love it. Two years ago, I would have said me being a dad was crazy, but those kids make my life complete. I can’t imagine my life without them. Just today, Josiah said da-da and my heart almost burst open.”
“Really? That good, huh?”
His grey glance lit up with barely contained joy. “Oh, yeah. It’s amazing. I highly recommend it.”
“Good to know.”
“Seriously, why aren’t you married, man? You should give it a try.”
“I did, but the girl turned me down.”
“What? That’s crazy.”
I shrugged. “It was back in the day, before I turned pro and made serious money.”
“Did you love her?”
“Hell, yeah. Hardcore.”
“Was it Marla?”
I gulped hard. “How did you know?”
“I saw the way you looked at her, when she wasn’t looking. You’ve got it bad. That’s a long time to carry a torch.”
“You have no idea. But I’m not carrying a torch anymore. I’m over her.”
He scoffed, laughing out loud. “Whatever, dude. You keep telling yourself that while we talk about what happened on that damn yacht the other night. That was a full-on orgy. I’m just glad I didn’t bring my kids along.”
“Overkill?”
“Oh, yeah and all you did was show Marla how much you care about her opinion.”
Shit.
Micah just shook his head. “I’ve played this game, Shepard. I tried to walk away so many times from Emma, but you know what happened, she got hurt and I was miserable. I could kick myself for treating her like that. You can’t treat the woman you love like crap.”
“That’s a tall order, Turner.”
His brows furrowed, his face growing serious. “Just giving you a friendly warning. You need to watch your step, Shepard. Marla’s like a sister to me and I won’t have her hurt. She doesn’t deserve that.”
“You don’t understand, man. We have history. Bad history. She drives me crazy.”
“I get that. But it doesn’t matter. Don’t play games with the woman you love. Take it from me, surrender now, because it won’t get easier. It will just eat you alive.”
I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. “It’s been eating me alive for the last twenty years. How does a woman get in your blood like that?”
“I don’t know. What I do know is I am a much happier man with Emma in my life than I was without her. Don’t you want to see what you still have with Marla?”
“I don’t think so. You don’t know what went down.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But I do know this: Marla is as decent and kind as they come and she is all about family. You’d better keep it clean, Shepard. That's Emma's sister and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my family.”
I nodded. “Understood. But this situation isn’t going away and I have to work it out on my own terms.”
“Just give in, man. I promise it will get better.”
No fuckin’ way.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Marla:
The heart holds many mysteries.
It breaks in a moment, but mends together in time.
It suffers defeat and agony, but burns brightly with hope and love.
It expands and contracts, bursting with life, and ebbing with sorrow.
It is our greatest strength and most hopeless weakness.
At the moment, my heart was pretty shredded after that awful encounter with Beau. Everything was such a disaster with him.
He was hell bent on making me pay, one way or the other.
I didn’t want it to be like this between us.
At the very least, I wanted peace.
But I knew in order for that to happen, a resolution of the past was needed.
The messy past full of secrets and lies.
My problem was I didn’t know how to tell Beau what had happened.
It wasn’t easy to announce an alternate reality to the one he so forcefully believed. It wouldn’t be easy to reveal the truth. My biggest fear was he would think I was making up excuses and lying to him about what really went down.
We had no chance if he didn’t believe me.
I know...I know...believing in a miracle was wishful thinking.
But even though I had been crushed the night before, my heart was unwilling to give into the logic that Beau was over me. I was hanging tight to my claim that the universe would somehow work everything out.
Sipping pumpkin spice flavored coffee out of my favorite purple mug I sat down in my office in the back of the salon, trying to sift through the gobs of mail sitting on the glass top of my desk. Hints of Bergamot, rose, almond oil, and hair chemicals wafted through the air, reminding me how busy and in demand Casa Oschun was.
I couldn’t ask for more.
Except for that morning after my blow up with Beau.
I just
wanted to crawl back home and stay in bed.
But that wasn’t an option.
I took another sip of my sweet coffee as I looked around trying to find the good in the day. My office was a lovely hue of sage green brightened by the sun streaming in the rounded window from the far side of the room. The cheery decor served as a reminder of the simple pleasures in life and how grateful I was to have a business of my own.
I loved to come in early and enjoy the stillness of the morning before I got lost in the hustle and bustle of the day. Even on bad mornings, like this one. I picked up my warm mug, trying to find the energy to sort through the mail.
As I reached for the silver letter opener, Emma came in, carrying her cup of coffee and sitting down in front of my desk.
She sighed heavily, setting her pink ceramic mug down on the glass top.
Putting down the letter opener, I glanced at her. “What’s up?”
Her oval face was stricken, her big blue eyes heavy with regret. “I didn’t know it was going to be that bad, Marla. I’m sorry. I promise to never interfere in your love life again,” she professed tearfully.
“Are you referring to the nightmare that happened on Beau’s yacht?”
“Yes, I am.”
I wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easy. “Did you know it was his yacht we were invited to?”
“I did, although I didn’t know he was going to make it a hoochie party and parade all those women around,” she admitted.
“Hoochie?”
She gave me a sheepish grin. “You know what I mean...”
“I do. I think we all had to suffer through that disaster. You pinky swear you won’t interfere again?”
“Yep.” She held out her little finger, while I contemplated the truth of her answer.
I knew she meant well and in her position, I might have done the same thing. I had certainly done things to help get her and Micah together. Still, it hurt to have it go so horribly wrong.
But I couldn’t blame Emma. She had no idea of the mess between Beau and me.
I wrapped my pinky around hers. “I will hold you to your word. I don’t need any more help after last night. That was truly painful, Emma...excruciating to watch Beau be fawned over by all those women. You would think I could control myself around him, but blam! We just threw up all over each other. It was awful.”