Standing on The Edge Of Goodbye (Treasures Of The Rockies)

by Eason, Mary

  Everyone in town had them linked together romantically, so their marriage wouldn’t come as a surprise. Matt had told Denny about their wedding plans and the good doctor had spilled the news. Amy’s enthusiastic yet tearful response showed she'd been expecting the news for a long time as well.

  Denny’s response was just as enthusiastic. “You have no idea how happy I am for both of you, Kate.”

  “I’m sure Matt told you we’re just friends.” Kate wondered what exactly had Matt said to his friend.

  Denny patted her arm gently. “Friends don’t usually end up marrying each other, now do they? But I will tell you this. Sometimes it’s not how you get there, it’s just that you do eventually get there. You know what I mean?”

  Kate had refused the offer by their friends to hold a reception. She’d even insisted the pastor leave out the part involving the final kiss.

  She and Matt were friends. She didn’t want to cloud that reality. They would be good for each other and share their lives, but there was nothing romantic in any of those things.

  Chapter Ten

  “You seem tired, Kate. Why don’t you get some rest? Maybe you should think about staying home from work tomorrow.”

  After the ceremony, she and Matt had come back to his house. Their house. Kate had been determined to keep the day just like any other Sunday afternoon.

  There was nothing special about the day despite being her wedding day.

  “You could sleep late. Let me make you breakfast, maybe even read a book. Or you could just do nothing at all.”

  “Absolutely not.” She yawned then stretched as the familiar pins and needles attacked her ankles. “I want to go in to the diner. Besides, don’t you have work to do?”

  Matt pulled her gently against him, shocking her into silence. She’d married this man just a few hours ago. This was her husband.

  “Are you coming up?” she asked a bit breathlessly, when she could no longer bear the intimate silence.

  Slowly Matt pressed a kiss against her forehead. “Not just yet. I’m going to work. I feel like catching up on some of the problem stuff tonight. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Kate.”

  Kate didn’t answer. She couldn’t. In spite of her determination to put their marriage in prospective, she couldn't have felt less like a newlywed.

  Alone in her bedroom she tossed and turned. She couldn't let go of her troubling thoughts. Matt had suggested she use the room closest to his in case she needed him. It was more open and airy than the smaller bedroom downstairs.

  Yet Kate couldn’t keep from wondering if his decision had more to do with the fact that the bedroom she’d first chosen to use had been Caroline’s. Matt assured her that wasn’t the case, but Caroline was the reason he was so certain he’d never fall in love again. Caroline was his first love.

  His wife.

  I’m his wife now.

  No, you’re his friend.

  She and Matt were both hurt by their pasts. They’d decided on this path without the emotional attachments that came from romantic illusions. Kate was determined to keep their friendship strong and uncomplicated by emotions that had no place in their lives or their marriage.

  She needed Matt and he desperately needed to find his way back to God.

  As she drifted off to sleep alone on her wedding night, redemption was the last thought on her mind. Saving Matt was the whole reason she’d married him. Wasn’t it?

  ****

  Kate woke early the following morning. For a moment, she couldn’t remember why she was here. Her room was blissfully warm as she dressed and went downstairs to Matt’s office.

  He’d fallen sound asleep on the sofa.

  Kate grinned as she considered all of the habits he’d have to break. He worked crazy hours, and he drank enough black coffee to stunt the growth of a herd of elephants. She found a blanket in the hall closet, put it over him, and started a fresh pot for when he awakened.

  Kate was getting ready to leave when she heard him stir. She turned to see him rubbing sleep from his eyes.

  “I was trying not to wake you.” She knelt next to him and touched the evidence of new morning growth on his face. “How late were you up last night?”

  “Don’t ask,” he winced. “You’re leaving? Why didn’t you wake me up? We could have breakfast together.” Matt sat up quickly.

  “Don’t be silly, you were dead to the world. I made some coffee for you, but I think you should get some sleep instead. You drink too much of that stuff.”

  She reached for his hand and tried to pull him to his feet. “Walk me to the door.”

  “Not you too? Denny is always harping about the amount of coffee I drink,” he grumbled, stifling a yawn. “At least let me drive you into work this morning. The roads are bad. I doubt the plows have been through yet.”

  Kate arched a brow at his answer. “I grew up here, remember. I know how to drive in the snow, so stop worrying. Go to bed, Matt. You must be dead on your feet.”

  “I guess that’ll teach me to marry an aspiring attorney.” He grinned as he helped her into her coat. His fingers brushed against her arm, sending unwelcome reminder of the reason for the sleepless night she'd spent the night before.

  “Always, so you’d better get use to it now.” She met his gaze.

  “I think I can adjust. Be careful, will you?” The humor left Matt eyes so quickly that it knocked the breath from her.

  He touched her cheek gently and then kissed the spot where his fingers had been before letting her go. It was all Kate could do to concentrate on the snowy, treacherous road as she made her way down Silver Mountain.

  ****

  “Oh my goodness child. You know we weren’t expecting you to come in today. This is your day off. It was such a beautiful ceremony.” Amy squeezed Kate tight. “I’m so happy for you both. My too favorite people in the world married to each other. What could be more right in the world?”

  Kate rolled her eyes then hugged her back.

  She retreated to the kitchen to find Herman working on his secret French toast batter. He glanced up as Kate entered the room.

  “She means well, hon. You know our Amy.”

  Kate relaxed in his gentle presence. He was right of course.

  “I know and I love her for her concern, both of you. I’m so glad you came yesterday.”

  “Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. We were honored that you asked us.” He gestured toward the dining area and Amy. “She might not be able to say it, but she thinks of you like a daughter. And Matt, well, he’s been like a son to us for as long as I can remember. Seems only right.”

  The flock of people coming in and out didn’t ease up until well after the lunch hour was over. Kate and Herman were just finishing the last of the dishes when Amy walked in.

  “You ready?” she asked her husband, who nodded.

  Kate glanced from one to the other. “What’s up with you guys today?”

  Amy practically dragged her to the dining area, with Herman in tow.

  “Come sit down, child. Herman and I have something we’ve been meaning to talk to you about, but we could never find the right moment.”

  Kate sank down into the chair that Herman held out, feeling an uneasiness take life in the pit of her stomach.

  “Now don’t look so scared. It’s not a bad thing.” Amy clasped her husband’s hand.

  Herman continued with the story. “Kate, you know that Amy and I were never able to have kids of our own. This business has been our life and it’s kept us busy and happy for a long time. But lately we’ve found ourselves with a dilemma that we weren’t really sure how to fix until you came along. We didn’t know what to do with this place when we finally decided to retire. We couldn’t bring ourselves to sell to a stranger or close it down and there wasn’t anyone to take it over, so we never thought about retirement. Now don’t say anything yet. Hear me out.” Herman interpreted Kate’s expression correctly.

  ”You know we love you. You�
��ve become like a daughter to us. And you’re so smart I know we can trust you to do what’s best for this place. Amy and I have more money than we’ll ever use in two lifetimes. We love the house we built here but we’re getting a little tired of all this cold. We’re ready to think about retiring, seriously. Turn the business over to someone we can trust and go see the country. You know all those places we’ve never had the chance to visit before. Maybe even go overseas and—”

  “What my sweet husband is trying to say,” Amy interrupted him, “is that we’ve had our attorney draw up all the papers. We want to leave the diner to you. Now, just wait a second, before you refuse. We know you’re going have your hands full with the little one for a while. We weren’t talking about dropping everything right away. Just maybe slowly over the next few years, we’ll start turning over the running of the place to you. We’ll still help until you feel comfortable running it alone. We plan on spoiling our grandchild an awful lot as well. I know we won’t be able to stay away for too long. But we both want to do this.”

  Kate stared at them too stunned for words. She adored them, but there was no way she could accept their generous offer.

  She bit her lip trying to keep back the tears as she reached for each of their hands. She couldn’t tell them the truth. The fear she carried every day. Kate knew in her heart that Josh was dead. Yet late at night when she was alone, her thoughts reeled with the terrifying possibilities. What if her child inherited her father’s mental illness?

  Matt’s her father now. He won’t let that happen.

  She swallowed the fear and looked toward the future. “You know I love you guys, right? I just can’t accept such a generous gift from you. It’s too much. This place has been your life, I could never—”

  Herman stubbornly shook his head. “Yes, you can. We’ve given this a lot of thought, and we can’t think of anyone we’d rather have carry on the business. You’re smart. We want you to have it.”

  “Amy.” Kate turned to the woman, hoping to make her understand.

  “Herman’s right. We weren’t sure until you and Matt were married that you were going stick around our small town after the baby was born, but now, well, we know this is an answer from God.”

  Kate couldn’t speak. She was moved by their love. She could only shake her head and wonder how on earth she would ever be able to live up to all their expectations.

  ****

  Matt was staring at his computer, his mind miles away thinking on the woman that just yesterday had become his wife.

  Kate believed he’d spent the entire night working. He hadn’t. Finally, out of sheer exhaustion, he’d collapsed on the sofa just a few short hours before she'd awakened him. He wondered what she'd say if she knew, his sleeplessness had everything to do with her.

  Kate was his wife.

  She was being so careful not to give anyone even the smallest hint that there was anything between them but friendship, yet nothing could be further from the truth for him.

  He wasn’t sure when his feelings had changed. Not that it mattered though, because he’d made a promise to Kate. He wouldn’t let her know just how wrong she was about this friendship of theirs.

  The phone broke into his unhappy thoughts. Denny's call a welcome release.

  “I can’t believe you let your bride of less than twenty-four hours go in to work today. You’re slipping, my friend.”

  “Shut up, Denny.” He’d explained it carefully, made sure Denny understood all the reasons behind their marriage, but his friend hadn’t bought it. “You know Kate and I are just friends—”

  “Uh-huh, you keep right on telling yourself that and maybe you’ll believe it’s the truth. She says the same thing, by the way.”

  “What did Kate tell you?” The question slipped out before he considered how desperate it sounded. Matt realized he’d just walked into one of Denny’s carefully laid traps.

  “I’m hanging up now. I have better things to do.”

  Matt slammed the receiver down to the annoying sound of his friend’s undaunted laughter.

  ****

  “I was thinking we could go to Denver this weekend. Shop for the nursery before the baby comes. We could leave Friday morning and be back Saturday night. Plenty of time before the service on Sunday. I know you don’t want to miss church.”

  Their relationship felt so right that it was hard to keep from telling her the things that were in his heart. He needed to be patient. Some things were worth waiting for.

  “Amy and Herman will be okay on their own. I was thinking we could have dinner, maybe even go to a movie if you’d like?” Matt said while trying to gage her reaction. “Unless you think we should leave Sammy’s old room the way it is since we’re having a boy.”

  “We’re having a girl,” Kate argued. She'd been touting this claim for weeks now. He suspected that would be the one thing to get her to agree.

  “I’ll ask Amy and Herman about it tomorrow. I have lots of ideas for our daughter’s room.”

  Matt wasn’t sure how he managed to keep the satisfied grin off his face when she glanced up at him. Somehow, he’d been strong.

  ****

  The spacious two-bedroom suite at one of Denver’s more exclusive hotels was like nothing Kate had ever seen before. When Matt suggested the trip, she hadn’t considered they’d be spending the night.

  “You like it?” he asked.

  Kate turned and threw her arms around him. “I like it a lot. I’ve never been anywhere quite as fancy as this before. Thank you.”

  Matt held her close just a minute longer, his chin resting against the top of her soft hair. He could smell the perfume of her shampoo and he closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of Kate, before she pulled out of his arms.

  All the humor left her as she watched him with that same hesitant expression he’d seen before in the past few weeks.

  He tried to smile through her rejection, but it was hard. Silently, he cursed himself for all the things he promised he wouldn’t want from her. If he kept this up, he’d lose her for good. Kate didn’t want his love.

  “Okay, we have dinner reservations at seven so if we’re going to do some shopping, then we’d better get a move on.”

  Through the long hours of decisions on just the right color for the baby’s room, which type of border was best, and what comforter was right for the crib, it was all Matt could do not to scream his love to her at least a dozen times.

  Over dinner, he was finally able to relax. “You’re falling asleep in your dessert, woman,” he told her, before reaching over to brush aside a crumb from her lips. That didn’t invoke her usual on edge reaction whenever he did something she considered too intimate.

  She yawned, nodded her head in agreement, before resting her cheek against her hand. “You’re right, I’m pooped. Shopping's not all it’s cracked up to be.”

  Matt laughed. “Well, since we’ve done everything today, I think we should just take it easy tomorrow.”

  He glanced up just in time to see that twinkle in Kate’s green eyes that always warned him she was about to give him a hard time. “Oh yeah? What’d you have in mind? Sleeping in, or maybe, breakfast in bed?”

  He lowered his glance from hers, his mind silently considering the possibilities she so innocently opened up.

  “Sleeping late for sure, and then we could order room service before catching a movie?”

  Matt couldn’t help but wonder what had caused the light to leave her eyes. Small patches of color touched her face, and he wished he knew what had Kate so flustered.

  ****

  As much as she loved being with Matt, Kate was relieved when she could finally close the door to her room, crawl into the king-size bed alone, and cry herself to sleep.

  She’d been holding back tears for most of the day. Everything about this trip only seemed to emphasize what was missing from their marriage. Every moment they spent together, every touch, every awkward kiss, and every innocent glance. Everything about be
ing with Matt only made her that much more aware of him.

  The man she was in love with. The one person in the world she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The man who could offer her only friendship.

  Kate turned on her side and tried to muffle her sobs, praying he wouldn’t hear.

  She loved him. God had brought them together and she would never leave him. Surely, God would give her the strength to control the love she felt for him.

  She would do her best to help him accept God’s love in his life again. Nothing else mattered. Not even the emptiness she felt inside from loving someone who couldn’t give his heart in return.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kate woke suddenly. She sat up in bed, her heart pounding in her ears. It was that same familiar nightmare.

  Josh.

  No matter how much she tried to forget the night that had almost cost her life, she couldn’t. She was out of bed and opening the door before she realized exactly what she was doing. Kate had only been in Matt’s room once, but now she didn’t care. She needed his comfort. She knocked softly then slowly opened it.

  “Matt?” Kate whispered into the darkness as she waited for her eyes to adjust to the dim room. She managed another tentative step and saw him sit up in bed to push the covers away. “What is it? Are you okay?”

  “No, no, I’m not.” She stopped. All of her needs seemed to disappear at the sight of him.

  “Is it the baby?” he asked when he reached her side.

  Even in the darkness, Kate could sense the tension building in her. He wore only pajama bottoms. She turned away, embarrassed at the sight of his bare chest.

  “No, it’s not the baby. I…I had a bad dream.” She was shivering and couldn’t control the trembling. “I don’t want to be alone.”

  He put his arm around her. “You’re cold. Come get into bed where it’s warm.”