It's All Good

by Nikki Carter

  Ricky touches my hand and I flinch. “Gia, you seem really stressed about this. Maybe you should talk to the school counselor or something.”

  I let out a long sigh. I know that I can’t say anything. Valerie’s mom could end up in jail or something and I can’t be the one that does that to their family.

  Right?

  Sascha sits down at our table with a puffy and swollen face. I’m gonna need her to stop bringing her doom and gloominess to our circle of friends. We’re generally a happy bunch, you know what I mean? This girl stays on crying mode.

  “Hope, please ask your mom if I can come back to PGP. I’m still ...” Sascha glances at Kevin and Ricky and drops her eyes. “I’m still pure.”

  “Um, I can ask her, I guess, but she and Aunt Elena seem like they’ve made up their minds about the whole thing.”

  Sascha replies tearfully, “I know, but it’s not fair. I want to be a part of this. I think it’s the only thing ...”

  She pauses and looks at Ricky and Kevin again. I lift an eyebrow at Ricky and try to send him a mental signal that this is an all-girl conversation. No boys allowed.

  He gets it (because he always gets my signals—BFF, remember?). He says, “Come on, Kev, let’s go.”

  “But ...”

  “Kevin, please,” I say.

  The boys go join another table full of basketball players and rally girls. Okay, Ricky would pick a table with all of his adoring fans. It’s going to be very hard for me to focus on Sascha’s drama when a rally girl is giving Ricky a back rub.

  “I just have to participate in the cotillion,” Sascha pleads. “Because if I can’t, then there’s nothing keeping me from hooking up with Chase ... and I need something to keep me from hooking up with him. Please!”

  Hope and I look at each other and I think we must have the same look on our faces. We’ve got to help her, right? But Gwen and Aunt Elena have made a decision. I don’t know if we can change their minds.

  Hope finally speaks. “We’ll try, Sascha. It’s the most we can promise.”

  “Thank you.”

  Hope wraps her arms around Sascha and hugs her tightly.

  I say, “You know, Sascha. Even if you can’t be in PGP, you don’t have to lose your virginity to Chase. It’s worth more than a cotillion.”

  Sascha bursts into tears and cries on Hope’s shoulder. Is this what it means to be in a teenage love affair? Am I eventually gonna end up crying like Sascha? Is Ricky gonna flip the script too?

  Dang. Too many questions, with no answers ...

  20

  It’s Friday, and school has just let out, beginning our winter break. I should be pumped. Two weeks out of school, hanging out with my friends, Christmas presents, my grandmother’s banana pudding, turkey! All good stuff that I can’t get excited about.

  “Gal, what you over there daydreaming about?” Mother Cranford asks.

  I must be the worst employee on the planet, but Mother Cranford keeps letting me come back. When I am at work, I get plenty of dusting done and fix her snacks. Honestly, I think she just enjoys my company. But who wouldn’t enjoy my company? Holla!

  “I’m not daydreaming, Mother. I’ve got two friends with some tough situations and I can’t figure out how to help with either of them.”

  “What kind of tough situations?”

  “Mother Cranford, I can’t tell you. I’m sworn to secrecy.”

  “Do these friends go to our church?”

  “They visit sometimes, but they’re not members.”

  “Then that means I don’t know them or their mamas. You can tell me about it, Gia. Maybe I can help you pray on it.”

  So I tell Mother Cranford all of the drama. And she listens thoughtfully, without making any comments at first. When I’m done, I sit down on Mother Cranford’s plastic-covered couch and wait for her to give me her opinions.

  She clears her throat and says, “Well, first of all, that no snitching and no tattling mess don’t apply to grown folk. Adults are supposed to have good sense, so you don’t have to worry about covering up for nobody’s mama.”

  “That’s what I thought too, but it’s not just going to hurt my friend’s mom, it’s going to hurt my friend too.”

  “It’ll probably help your friend more than hurt her.”

  “Maybe you’re right.”

  Mother Cranford whistles. “Now that other one—well, that is a whole other kind of situation. The devil just done got into the youth. I tell you, when I was coming up, no girl needed a reason to keep her britches up.”

  “It’s different now, Mother. Everybody’s dropping britches left and right.”

  Mother Cranford’s eyebrows shoot up. “I sure hope you keeping yours up!”

  “Oh, of course! My britches might as well be glued to my body.”

  “You should tell your mama about this stuff. She can help you sort it all out.”

  “I thought you were gonna help me pray on it.”

  “I will, but, baby, I’m getting too old for some of this. Talk to your mama. She still remembers being your age.”

  See what I’m talking about? Even Mother Cranford isn’t trying to touch this mess!

  Mother Cranford clicks on the television with her remote control. So I guess our little conversation must be over. Dang! Just plain old dismissed right in the middle of my high stress moment!

  “Gia ...”

  “I know, Mother Cranford. Lean Cuisine coming right up.”

  Kevin shows up at my house at 8:45 a.m. for our last SAT prep class. I feel more than ready to take the test and I think we’re going to do the next available test date. Kevin and I have college on lock, ya heard!

  I hop into the passenger’s side of the car. Immediately I turn the heat on full blast. Kevin be trying to freeze a sista.

  “Kevin, it’s like two degrees out here. My bones are cold.”

  Just then, I notice that Kevin looks totally tripped out.

  “You okay, Kev?” I ask.

  He nods. “Can I ask you a question, Gia?”

  “Sure, Kev. What’s up?”

  “If you didn’t like Ricky, would you even consider kicking it with me?”

  Oh, no. Where is this coming from and where is this conversation headed? Me don’t know if me likee!

  “Kevin, why are you asking me this? I do like Ricky, so it’s highly irrelevant.”

  Did I just say that out loud? Wow, that’s like a major step, and Kevin is so wrapped up in his personal life that he totally just missed the big reveal.

  Kevin sighs. “Okay, so it’s not about you. I’m over my Gia crush. I’ve moved on, so I need Gia the friend’s advice.”

  Excuse me! I had a feeling that Kevin had moved on to more fruitful crush territory, but dang, did he have to put it all like that? Oh, the bluntness.

  I reply, “Kevin, you are smart, cute, and loyal. Yeah, I’d holla.”

  Kevin smiles. “Thank you, Gia. I needed to hear that.”

  “Who are you going after?”

  “Your sister, but I’m not going after her. I just wanted to know if she might be interested, in case I ever do try to go after her.”

  I sit back in my seat and grin. Kevin and Candy would make a weird and cute couple. They’re both super-smart and they both like music. And Candy has been dropping hints about Kevin’s cuteness for a minute.

  “How could she not be interested?” I ask. “You are an awesome guy.”

  “I’m glad she thinks that. But can I ask you a question?”

  “Yep.”

  “When are you getting a driver’s license?”

  I roll my eyes. “Jokes, huh? Shut up and drive.”

  21

  “Mom, I need to talk to you,” I say to Gwen as she cuts out recipes.

  She sets her extra-large scissors down. “Sure.”

  Sidebar. I don’t know what my mom thinks she’s doing with those recipes. Grandma Stokes always comes from her sister’s house in Chicago to cook for us during the Christmas ho
liday. She brings us presents and cooks. That’s what she does—it gives her life meaning.

  “Ma, what are you cooking?”

  She smiles. “I want to surprise my mama and Aunt Penny by cooking everything this year. I want Mama to just relax.”

  “But Grandma loves cooking! She’s even letting me and Hope help this year.”

  “Gia, your grandmother is getting older and her arthritis is causing her more pain than she wants to admit. So I’m cooking. You and Hope can help me if you want.”

  I take a huge swallow. “Is there a plan B?”

  My mother slams a recipe down on the table. “Did you come to insult my cooking? I thought you wanted to talk about something.”

  “Sorry, Mom. I do want to talk.”

  “Then talk.”

  “There’s no easy way for me to ask this, so I’ll just say it. Will you and Aunt Elena please consider letting Sascha Cohen back into the PGP program?”

  “We’ve already made our final decision.”

  “She came to me and Hope and told us that PGP was the only reason she was keeping her virginity. She seemed desperate about it, actually.”

  My mom bites her lip thoughtfully. “Well, then she is going to give it up sooner rather than later. It’s got to be about more than a cotillion, Gia. We talked about that in class, remember?”

  “I do, and I told Sascha that. But I think she’s just trying to hold on, Mom.”

  My mother is quiet for a few long moments. I can tell she’s torn about the whole thing. Maybe she’s thinking about all the stuff she missed out on when she was pregnant in high school.

  She says, “We have to portray a positive image for all of the girls, Gia. I’m sorry.”

  I shake my head angrily. I didn’t think she would budge on this, but I had to try. I don’t agree at all, but I guess it doesn’t matter what we think, because we’re just kids. We don’t know anything, right?

  I was about to tell her about Valerie’s mother, but I change my mind. My mom is not being very helpful right now, and I’m sure she would make that whole thing even worse.

  I get up from the kitchen table. “Mom, I’m going out with Hope and Ricky.”

  “Where are you all going?”

  “Up to Easter Hill Park. He’s teaching me how to drive a little.”

  Mom smiles. “Ricky is brave.”

  “He’s sick of me bumming rides from him.”

  “Well, you’ll still be bumming rides until you get a car, and the way you sporadically work for Mother Cranford, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.”

  “About that, Mom—now that I’m seventeen, can I please get a real job at the mall? I want to work at the movie theater.”

  My mom had to know this conversation was coming. I need to make some real cash for senior year! Prom, senior class pictures, our trip—all cost the benjamins.

  “Let’s see what your SAT scores are, and then we’ll decide.”

  “Okay!” This is not exactly a yes, but it’s pretty darn close!

  “Wait. Didn’t you all sign up for a summer program at the beginning of the school year?”

  Man! I totally forgot about the hotness that is the summer enrichment program at Columbia University. It’s an outreach program for urban kids, to get them interested in attending an Ivy League school. Ricky, Kevin, and I all signed up, but Hope said there was no way she was spending the summer doing schoolwork.

  “We won’t hear anything on that until the spring.”

  Gwen nods. “Okay, so when we find out, then we’ll decide on the job.”

  “Mom! If I go to the program won’t I need money in New York City?”

  “Your uncle will give you money for that. He’ll be proud of you.”

  My mother has an advanced degree in stalling. I know what this is about anyway. Me getting a real job is just another sign that I’m growing up, and I don’t think she can deal. What is she going to do when I get ready to leave for college?

  Ricky’s horn blares outside. “That’s them, Mom. I’ll see you later.”

  I run outside and jump into the front seat. The first thing I notice is that there is only Ricky and no Hope.

  “Where’s Hope?” I ask.

  “She asked me to drop her off at the library.”

  I can feel my heart racing. “So it’s just going to be the two of us?”

  He pulls away from the curb. “Yep. Is that cool with you?”

  I’m feeling something and it’s most definitely not cool. Trying to calm down here. This is Ricky—my homie, my ace. My crush.

  This is totally in violation of my mom’s rules. No one-on-one dating to her means no alone time with a crush. Period. I know this and still I’m rationalizing with myself. Because, for real, Ricky is not just a crush. He’s my best friend who’s teaching me to drive.

  “Are you all right, Gia?” Ricky asks.

  Can he tell that I’m having a severe multisystem failure over here? Dang! I’ve got to work on that obvious thing I’ve got going on.

  “I’m cool. Why?”

  “Well, number one, you didn’t answer my first question, and two, you’re never this quiet.”

  “Oh, yeah. It’s cool, Ricky. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

  “Wanna share?”

  “I don’t think I have to tell you that the following reveals are secrets, but I’m saying it anyway.”

  Ricky nods. “Okay. My lips are sealed.”

  Dang! Why’d he have to say something about his lips? Those perfectly shaped unchapped lips that kissed me on my birthday? What part of the game is this?

  Okay ... I am not going to fall to pieces here.

  “So Valerie’s mom is stalking Susan Chiang on Facebook.”

  “What! How?” Ricky sounds as shocked as I did when I found out.

  “She’s posing as a boy and saying horrible things to her.”

  “What kinds of horrible things?”

  “Racist stuff.”

  Ricky shakes his head. “Y’all have proof that it’s her mom?”

  “Yeah. The profile pic is of Valerie’s cousin Javier, who lives in Puerto Rico and doesn’t speak a lick of English, and Valerie found a letter in her mom’s trash can that was posted on Facebook.”

  “You telling somebody?”

  I shrug. “Why do I always have to tell? Jewel and Kelani say that I’m known for snitching.”

  “No. You’re known for doing the right thing. I admire you for that.”

  “You do?”

  “Yep.”

  This makes me smile. I’m a total sucker for compliments like this. Most boys say stuff like, “You’re fly, ma.” But Ricky gets who I am on the inside, and that is so much more important to me.

  He pulls into a parking spot in the park and gets out of the car.

  “You ready?” he asks. “Let’s switch.”

  The good thing about today’s driving lesson is that even though it’s cold outside, there’s no snow on the ground. We haven’t had a good snow since November, so we’re due. Since I’ve been alive I can only think of one time we didn’t have a white Christmas.

  I move over and get behind the steering wheel and Ricky gets in on the other side. I’m going to conquer my fear and do this.

  “Okay, Gia. What’s first?”

  “Um ... seat belt.”

  I lock my seat belt and put both hands on the steering wheel.

  “How are your feet positioned?” Ricky asks.

  “Left over the brake. Right over the gas.”

  Ricky’s eyes bulge out of the sockets. “Gia. You drive with one foot. Your right. Move the left foot from the pedal.”

  “So how will I stop?” I ask, with fright dripping from my vocals.

  “You’ll take your foot off the gas and press the brake,” Ricky explains.

  Okay, how am I supposed to remember all of this? I have to watch the road, check the mirrors, flick on the turn signal and remember to switch my foot? No, ma’am. I will ride the bus, than
k you very much.

  I unbuckle my seat belt and open the door. “Never mind, Ricky. I’m never gonna learn this.”

  He laughs. “Come on, Gia. It’s not hard. Once you get the hang of it, you won’t even think about all this stuff. It’ll come naturally.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll catch taxis, bum rides, or walk. I’m good.”

  “Wow, I didn’t know that my best friend was a quitter.”

  Quit? I haven’t even started. It doesn’t count as quitting if you never begin. Yes, that was a totally random rule. I haven’t made up one in a while.

  “Not quitting, Ricky. Just postponing. Maybe I’ll learn in the spring.”

  “Just a few feet down the parking lot, Gia. No turns, nothing fancy. Just put the car in drive, gently press the gas, roll a little bit, and then press the brake.”

  “Well ...”

  “I’m right here, Gia. I won’t let you get hurt.”

  This Ricky ‘the protector’ person is niiice. I feel my insides getting all gooey at his words.

  “Okay.”

  I close the door and click the seat belt again. This time I’m determined to drive just a little bit. I check the mirrors, take a deep breath and press my foot down on the brake. Then I shift the gear into drive.

  Ricky says, “Whenever you’re ready, take your foot off the brake and just roll for a second before you step on the gas.”

  I grip the steering wheel and try to hold my hands steady, but they keep trembling. Very, very slowly, I remove my foot from the brake pedal and the car rolls a little bit.

  “Should I press the gas now?” I ask.

  “If you’re ready.”

  “Okay.”

  I take one last deep breath, and press down. Wait! Am I pressing too hard? Why are we going this fast?

  “Gia! Ease up!”

  “How do I ease up?”

  We’re running out of parking lot here!

  “Take your foot off the gas, but don’t ...”

  I take my foot off the gas and slam on the brake pedal. The tires screech and we lurch forward in our seats. I’m glad we are both wearing our seat belts. Safety first.

  Ricky exhales. “I was going to say, don’t slam on the brake.”

  “Well, we’re stopped now. How did I do?” I think I already know the answer to this question.