A Still, Small Voice

by D. W. Marchwell

  Oscar and Noah heard the rumbling, and within minutes, they saw the tremendous gush of water that poured out of the pipes near their feet. With the lights that dotted the bridge and the surrounding neighborhoods, the effect was breathtaking. They pulled out their cameras and took as many pictures as they could, Oscar even wondering if there would be some way to get down to the riverbank to take a few shots from a different angle. Since neither of them really knew if it were possible, the idea was shelved, providing them a reason for another excursion together. Although Noah would definitely not need any such reason to see Oscar again.

  Neither of them had been surprised to learn they had much more than photography in common. Noah was fascinated to learn that Oscar was actually a classically trained musician and had even begun to pursue music in university but had switched before his second year, choosing instead to pursue a degree in general sciences. So with that in common, they spent a great deal of time discussing computers and engineering and programming. Oscar was impressed that Noah actually owned a patent on a program that was now widely used in Alberta schools. And for his part, Noah was impressed to learn that Oscar had done all of the computer setup at the club himself. He discovered that Oscar was not only gifted when it came to computers but also with electronics of any kind.

  Nor had either of them been surprised to learn that the other wasn’t much into the club scene. Noah frequented Oscar’s club in order to perform but was never to be found there when he was not on stage with Aiden. “I always wondered if you never stayed because you were rushing home to some lucky guy,” Oscar had said at one point in the evening.

  It had shocked Noah a little bit to realize that Oscar had noticed him long before Noah had clued in and returned the favor. “Why did you never ask me out, then?” Noah had asked, only to be shocked again when Oscar claimed to be far too shy and afraid of rejection.

  “I couldn’t even muster up enough courage to ask Aiden if you were single, so how was I supposed to approach you?”

  It had all seemed like some kind of a dream to Noah. Here was a beautiful man, not by society’s standards, maybe, but gorgeous inside and out as far as Noah was concerned, and he was interested in more, just like Noah.

  While Oscar continued to snap some more pictures, Noah stood looking at him, studying him. There was nothing that Noah didn’t find sexy or erotic. From the way Oscar’s jeans fit him without revealing too much to the way his hands played over the lens of the camera, Noah was besotted by it all. Even when Oscar turned to catch Noah staring, he blushed and smiled, and Noah felt his stomach jump into his throat. Noah made up his mind right there; if Oscar made no attempt to kiss him, Noah would try. He had to know what it would feel like, their bodies pressed together, their lips tentative at first but growing bolder and more insistent until….

  Noah forced his mind back to other things; his jeans were growing uncomfortably snug.

  “Shall we?” Oscar asked, and Noah noticed that he’d put his camera away and was waiting for Noah to do the same.

  “Sorry, daydreaming, I guess,” Noah said, and he arranged his camera and case and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

  “I’ve felt a little distracted myself today.”

  Noah heard the words, and without any conscious thought on his part, he put his hand out, touching Oscar’s forearm, and they both stopped walking. They were halfway across the bridge, the sounds of nature and city and rushing water cocooning them. Noah reached up with one trembling hand and let it come to rest against the warm skin of the timid man’s neck, his eyes focused solely on Oscar’s. Noah stepped a little closer, his eyes closing when he felt Oscar’s warm hands find their way to his waist. As they brought their bodies together slowly, Noah felt the first contact of Oscar’s full lips and heard the whimper escape from his own throat.

  Noah wondered if Oscar tasted like chocolate and caramel, but forbade his tongue from moving forward and finding its partner. That would have to wait for another time. Noah realized he probably shouldn’t even have done this, but he’d been unable to control himself. To have someone like Oscar say those words all afternoon long, and actually mean them…. There would be nothing left of the wall Noah had built around his heart if Oscar continued to sweet-talk him. With great willpower, Noah pulled his lips away but allowed his hands to stay where they were, allowed their bodies to stay connected, unable to separate himself completely from the feel, the smell of this man.

  “I’m sorry,” Noah said as he felt his breathing return to normal. “I was going to wait until we were back at my place, but….”

  “May I kiss you again?”

  This time, Oscar was the first to bring their lips together and the first to push his tongue against lips, seeking entrance. Noah heard whistles and other various noises coming from around them, but he didn’t care what they looked like. He’d never imagined he could ever feel this connected to someone. He’d never felt this with Paul, never felt this with any of the men he’d been with, and standing there on the bridge, wrapped in Oscar’s embrace, Noah understood how everything in his life had led him to this moment. He had been looking too hard, wanting it too much. Noah felt like laughing when he realized that the old adage of letting love find you had been right all along. And Noah had no doubt that what he was feeling was love, or at least the beginning of what would grow into love.

  “Would it scare you away if I told you I’m not looking forward to going home alone?”

  Noah was breathing hard. Oscar was breathing hard. Noah couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around what Oscar was saying. Noah had tried a one-night stand many years ago, when he was in his twenties, but never since; he’d not liked the experience at all and promised himself that he would have to have some feelings for any man he took to his bed in the future. But he did have feelings for Oscar, very intense and emotionally charged feelings. “Then don’t,” Noah said finally.

  “Okay,” Oscar whispered and leaned forward to take Noah’s lips again. When they pulled apart again, Oscar added, “When Marcus died, I thought I’d never feel like this again. And then….” Oscar’s voice held no melancholy or regret, only a desire to let Noah in on the secrets he’d held for a while. “I hope I’m not scaring you away.”

  “Oscar,” Noah said, pulling their bodies together, “I’m just sorry it took me this long to realize what an ass I was being… not seeing what was there right in front of me all along.” Noah saw the blush spread across Oscar’s cheeks, wondering if he’d said too much.

  “Thank you,” Oscar said finally. “Are you cold? I brought a jacket.” Oscar pulled away slightly, his expression turning to confusion when he saw the smile on Noah’s face, heard the laughter escape from his mouth. “What?”

  “The hand at my elbow… on my back… when we were crossing the street. And now your jacket.” Noah shook his head, his hands reaching out to caress Oscar’s rosy cheeks. “Marcus was a very lucky man.”

  “We both were, I guess.”

  “I’m not teasing you, Oscar. I’m just….” Noah couldn’t find the words. “I don’t think I’ve ever mattered to anyone enough for them to think about me first.” Noah felt a little guilty, remembering all his father had done for him. “Except my father, I mean.”

  “Well, now you’ll have me.” Oscar shrugged off his backpack and rummaged around for his jacket, holding it out to Noah.

  “What about you? Won’t you be cold?”

  Oscar only shook his head as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Marcus always used to joke that he married me because he could steal all the covers and I would never know. I’m very warm-blooded, apparently.”

  “Then, the jacket?” Noah didn’t understand why Oscar would bring a jacket if he had no intention of wearing it himself.

  “You told me one time when we were chatting at the club that you have very poor circulation and that it’s the reason you always wear a jacket of some sort during your performances.”

  Noah, not surprisingly, had no recoll
ection of any conversation, but its contents were true enough. “Wow,” Noah sighed. “You’re amazing. I can never remember what I need when I’m at the grocery store.”

  “You don’t write out a list?”

  The sincerity of the question blindsided Noah, and he bit his tongue so he wouldn’t laugh in Oscar’s face again. Instead, he reached out an arm and worked it around the trim waist, underneath the backpack, giving the man a quick hug. “So, important question, then: do you sleep on the left or the right?”

  “Actually, I prefer the top.” Noah stopped dead in his tracks, somewhat stunned at the innuendo. Then he found himself wondering if Oscar was telling him he was a top. He opened his mouth to scold playfully, but then Oscar came back to stand next to him. “I apologize. When I’m feeling comfortable around someone, my humor can be a bit blue.”

  “No need to apologize, but I feel it only fair to warn you that if you keep that up, I might just have to tear your clothes off right here. And thank you; I feel very comfortable around you too.”

  Oscar said nothing in return, only reached out and took Noah’s hand in his as they walked the final few blocks back to the loft.

  When they arrived, Noah provided a quick tour and then set about assuring that Oscar’s stay would be comfortable. During the bathroom part of the tour, Noah turned and asked, “Do you need anything? Toothbrush, pajamas, razor?” Noah saw the deep crimson blush and thought he’d said something, done something wrong.

  “I brought my own things,” Oscar admitted, his eyes darting back and forth between the floor and Noah’s face. “Just in case.”

  “So,” Noah teased as he pressed himself against the warm body, feeling Oscar’s strong hands going immediately to his back. “You figured I was that easy, huh?”

  “No, of course not, but—”

  Noah silenced him with a kiss, which he’d only meant to let this wonderfully mannered man know that he’d been teasing. But as they stood there, Noah felt the heat radiating off of Oscar’s strong body, smelled the intoxicating scent that was probably nothing more than regular soap and something uniquely Oscar, and he found himself horribly lacking in self-control. His hands began to pull on the white button-down shirt, freeing it from Oscar’s jeans, his hands slipping underneath to feel the smooth, warm flesh of the broad back.

  “Oh, thank God,” Noah sighed against Oscar’s lips when he brought his hands around to find the man’s nipples. “You’re hairy!”

  “As are you,” Oscar sighed. Noah had not even been aware that his shirt was unbuttoned and untucked. “Marcus was not. I love hair.”

  “So do I,” Noah grunted and pressed his lips to Oscar’s once again. He moved his hands to the waistband and began to unbutton Oscar’s jeans. Suddenly, Oscar stopped kissing and moved away. “Too fast? I’m sorry. We don’t have to—”

  “No, I want to,” Oscar said, seemingly unable to catch his breath. “I want you. You have no idea how much I want you, but—” Oscar brought up a hand to rake through his hair, and Noah was transfixed by the show of muscles flexing and releasing all along the man’s chest and abdomen. “I don’t know quite how to say this. Fuck, I should have told you sooner.”

  Noah tried not to panic, but this was the first curse word he’d heard out of the man’s mouth. In fact, it was the first negative word he’d heard out of Oscar’s mouth. “What is it?” Noah tried not to let his mind think of some hideous deformation like a third testicle or a botched circumcision.

  “I very much like to top,” Oscar started, his fingers interlaced and pivoting at the knuckles like some multi-bladed scissors. “But, well, I’m quite large, and Marcus always found it to be painful… and… I’ll understand if you no longer wish to—”

  Noah moved forward and wrapped his arms around the taller man, kissing him and cutting off his ramblings. When he felt Oscar’s nerves had calmed somewhat, he pulled away and looked into those beautiful eyes. “Do you bottom?”

  Oscar shrugged. “If I have to.”

  “Then there’s no problem.” Noah returned his hands to Oscar’s pants and pulled down the zipper, encountering the engorged cock and understanding, perhaps for the first time, what “quite large” actually meant. Noah dropped to his knees and pulled the jeans down, helping Oscar shed them one foot at a time, and then returned his hands to pull on the plain white boxer shorts. Noah looked up to see Oscar’s nervous stare. He looked back at the erection that had to be at least nine inches long and wider than any man he’d ever been with. He looked back up at Oscar and pushed the tails of the white button-down out of the way. “It’s beautiful,” Noah said as he wrapped one hand around the base, his tongue coming out to lick at the vein that ran from frenulum to base. “You must not have any blood anywhere else,” Noah joked and wrapped his lips around the large head, his tongue finding and teasing the slit.

  “Oh, Noah,” Oscar panted as he leaned against the sink. “It’s been a long time.”

  “For me too,” Noah said as he wrapped both hands around the thick member and slowly pulled from base to head. His mouth worked its way to lick and suck the low-hanging balls, his hands increasing their pace ever so slightly. His forearms were braced against the insides of Oscar’s thighs, and he could feel the muscled legs begin to tremble. He stopped what he was doing long enough to stand and, with one hand still on Oscar’s sizeable dick, claimed the beautiful man’s mouth. Their tongues dueled one against the other until Noah finally broke away and whispered, “Sit up here, lift your legs.”

  When Oscar complied, Noah descended once again to take the pulsing dick in his hands, his mouth laving and sucking the heavy balls. After a moment or two of listening to Oscar’s sweet panting, Noah pushed on the backs of the trembling thighs and his tongue found Oscar’s entrance.

  “Oh, yes, please,” Oscar sighed as Noah licked playfully at his hole. It was the most incredible feeling for Noah to realize that he was giving this man so much pleasure. As his hands continued to pull and tease the engorged cock and massage the sensitive balls, Noah released his mouth from Oscar’s tight hole every now and then so that he could look up at the handsome face while he moved his hand to the bulbous head, his thumb moving over the slit repeatedly.

  He found himself in a rhythm of moving back and forth, spurred on by the panting and writhing of this quiet man beneath him. Noah couldn’t help but notice that even filled with passion, Oscar did not raise his voice or curse or lose control. He was a perfect gentleman. Noah wondered if he’d found himself the last one on earth.

  “Like that, baby?” Noah pulled his mouth off the mushroom head and fixed Oscar with a smile. “Can’t wait until I can take it inside me. Have to work on that… a lot, I think.”

  “Noah,” Oscar panted and reached for him.

  Noah went willingly, his hands still pumping the huge cock, and then they were kissing again, Oscar’s tongue moving wildly. Noah felt his knees go weak when Oscar pushed their heads apart, leaving their tongues dueling and caressing out in the open. It was a different sensation for Noah, and he couldn’t get enough. He felt Oscar’s tongue disappear and opened his eyes.

  “Close, Noah, so close.”

  “What do you need, baby?”

  Noah figured that was what Oscar must have needed, because the heat splashed between their bodies, and it seemed endless to Noah. He kissed and licked at whatever flesh he could find, delighting in the sounds of Oscar regaining his composure.

  “Oh, God, Noah,” Oscar said and brought his hands back to Noah’s neck, pressing their lips together one final time before he lifted himself off the counter and dropped in front of Noah.

  “You might be a little disappointed… considering what you see every day, I mean.”

  Oscar said nothing as he pulled jeans and boxers down at the same time, easing Noah’s legs out one at a time, just as he’d done for Oscar. Noah felt Oscar’s hot breath on his erection. “You’re not circumcised,” Oscar said, his voice more a whisper. “Marcus wasn’t either,” he observed as
he made one long pull from base to head and immediately took the foreskin in between his lips and began to nibble.

  “Oh, fuck me,” Noah said, then remembered he should probably not swear since Oscar hadn’t. How he was going to get through this without cursing, he had no idea. Whether it was Oscar or whether it was that no one had ever known to do that with his foreskin, Noah didn’t know, but he did know he didn’t want it to end.

  “Your turn,” Oscar said as he pushed Noah toward the counter. Noah felt his cock jump and his balls pull up when he noticed that there was still some of Oscar’s spunk on the mirror. He positioned himself on the counter and pulled his legs up. “You have low-hangers,” Oscar said as he took each testicle, one at a time, into his mouth.

  “Holy fuck, Oscar,” Noah yelled when he felt the heat of that mouth. “Jesus, yeah, more.”

  “Like that?”

  Noah grunted and pulled on the backs of his thighs when he felt Oscar’s finger at his hole. He yelled again when Oscar began tapping and poking against the hole.

  “Do you have any lube in here?”

  Noah looked over to his right and saw the economy-sized bottle of moisturizer he used in the mornings. He reached for it and put it beside his hips. Then he felt the fire explode up and down his spine, in his brain, his eyes seeing nothing but stars and fireworks as Oscar’s finger slid inside of him. “So pretty, Noah,” Oscar sighed before Noah felt his entire length swallowed up by the heat of that mouth.

  With Oscar’s finger, then fingers, moving slowly in and out of him, Noah had to remind himself to breathe. And when Oscar began to tap against his prostate, Noah felt his muscles clench. He sucked in a breath and then used his hands to pull Oscar’s head off of his cock. “Oscar, baby, holy fuck!”