So Long At the Fair

by Jess Foley

  ‘He’s got six brothers and four sisters.’

  Mrs Morris stared at her for a moment, then turned a wide-eyed glance to Abbie, as if seeking an endorsement of her own dismay. With difficulty Abbie dropped her gaze.

  ‘Eleven children,’ Mrs Morris observed. ‘How can people do it? Have they no control?’

  Iris spoke up at this. ‘But Mother, there are plenty of families with more than eleven children.’

  ‘I’m well aware of that,’ Mrs Morris said. ‘And I’m sure that they’re well aware of it too. How could they fail to be? All those mouths clamouring to be fed. All those bodies to be clothed. It’s no wonder they’re as poor as church mice. You’d think people would have more self-control.’

  Lizzie said nothing, but Abbie could see from her set mouth that she was growing increasingly unhappy. ‘A lot of people like big families,’ Abbie said.

  ‘You truly believe that?’ said her mother. ‘You really think wives enjoy endless childbearing and living in poverty and squalor?’

  Abbie shrugged. ‘I don’t mean everyone. But – well, look at the Queen.’

  ‘Indeed look at the Queen,’ said Mrs Morris. ‘The Queen doesn’t have to care for her children if she has no inclination, does she? If her children cry there’re a dozen nursemaids to pick them up and comfort them. And she certainly doesn’t have to scrape and save to clothe and feed them, does she?’ She shook her head in deep disapproval, then to Lizzie she said:

  ‘Don’t you listen to your sisters, Lizzie. You just remember what I say – don’t go and commit yourself to the first good-looking young man who comes along. I know what it’s like, young love. You young people think you’re the only ones it’s ever happened to. You think nobody older than you has any idea what it’s like. You think you’ve discovered it all. But you have no idea in reality. You look at some young man and think you’ll love him for ever – and that if you can’t have him you’ll die. Isn’t that what you think? Oh, Lizzie, my dear girl, it isn’t really like that at all. Believe me, the world’s full of young men and if you don’t have this Mr Woodward or whatever his name is there’ll be another one come along who’s just as fine, just as handsome. And no doubt doing better than a mere farmhand. A girl like you should be able to have her choice.’

  A little moment of hesitation, then Lizzie said, ‘I’ve already made it – my choice.’

  Mrs Morris looked at her for a second in silence, then said, ‘Well, you say that now. But you’re so young. You wait – you’ll get another position in another town and you’ll meet somebody else. Then you’ll forget all about this young man.’

  ‘I shan’t.’

  ‘Believe me, you will. I know what I’m talking about.’

  ‘I shan’t be moving to another position. I’m not moving away from Lullington.’

  ‘How do you know that? How can you be so sure what’s going to happen? You can see into the future, can you?’

  ‘Well, no, but – I know.’ Lizzie shrugged. ‘I – I just know.’

  With these words another glance passed between herself and Iris. Seeing the exchange, their mother frowned, a flash of irritation touching her features. ‘What’s going on?’ she said. ‘Is there something I’m missing?’

  Lizzie hesitated, then, said, giving a wide, forced smile, ‘Well, I s’pose I may as well tell all of you my news. You’ve got to know at some time . . .’ She gave a little laugh. ‘I’m going to be married. Next month, as a matter of fact.’

  Silence in the room. Mrs Morris turned to Abbie. ‘Did you know about this?’

  Abbie shook her head. ‘No, I didn’t.’

  ‘What about you?’ Mrs Morris looked at Iris. ‘It’s obvious that you knew all about it.’

  Iris nodded. ‘Well – yes.’

  Mrs Morris turned back to Lizzie. ‘Next month, eh? It’s all happening very quickly. And I don’t suppose anybody’d need to be a genius to realize the reason for such a great rush.’

  Lizzie said nothing, just stared down at her cup.

  Her mother looked at her and slowly nodded. ‘So I’m right about that. When is it to be?’

  Lizzie raised her eyes. ‘The wedding?’

  ‘No, not the wedding. You’ve already told us that’s taking place next month. I’m talking about the baby. When d’you expect that?’

  Lizzie lowered her eyes again and gave a little shrug. ‘I’m not sure. Probably around the middle of September.’

  Her mother nodded. ‘How long have you known this young man?’

  ‘Just under a year.’

  When Mrs Morris spoke again there was contempt in her voice and in her face. ‘You’re nothing but a little fool,’ she said. ‘I so looked forward to seeing you girls again and when I do I get greeted with this news. God – it’s so depressing.’

  Abbie herself had been taken aback at Lizzie’s news and at the implication of it. Nevertheless she could not listen to her mother’s words and remain unmoved.

  ‘Oh, Mother – please,’ she said, ‘don’t say that. If it’s what Lizzie wants then we have to accept it.’

  ‘What she wants?’ her mother said. ‘It isn’t what she wants. The girl’s got no choice in the matter. She’s got herself into a pickle and there’s no other way out of it.’ She turned to Lizzie. ‘You’re a fool to go and get yourself in a mess like this. I hoped you’d have more sense.’ She turned away in disgust.

  Lizzie stared at her and then, suddenly dissolving into tears, burst out, ‘I wish I hadn’t come here today! I wish I’d stayed in Lullington.’

  Iris got up, went to Lizzie’s side and put an arm around her shoulders. ‘It’s all right, it’s all right.’

  ‘All right!’ Mrs Morris said scornfully. ‘You think it’s all right, do you? Well, if you think that then it’s clear you’ve got no more brains than your sister. And it’s obvious that she’s got none.’

  ‘Mother,’ Abbie said, ‘let’s not make this even more unpleasant.’

  ‘You’re a fine one to talk,’ her mother said. ‘You’re even more foolish. You had it all and threw it away.’

  ‘We’re not talking about me,’ Abbie said. ‘We’re talking about Lizzie. And where she’s concerned there’s nothing to be done about it now. It’s happened and we have to make the best of it. Or rather, Lizzie has to make the best of it. It’s what it all means to her that’s important.’

  ‘Well,’ Mrs Morris said, ‘you can see very well what it’s going to mean to her. She’ll be having a dozen brats around her feet before she knows where she is.’

  Lizzie got up from the table. ‘I’m not staying.’

  ‘No, Lizzie – come on, now.’ Abbie got up and joined Iris at Lizzie’s side. ‘It’ll be all right. You just gave us a bit of a shock, that’s all.’

  ‘Why should it matter to anyone else what I do?’ Lizzie said. ‘It’s my life and I can live it any way I like.’

  ‘Oh, that’s rich,’ said Mrs Morris to the ceiling. ‘She can live her life any way she likes. I think not. ‘She turned to Lizzie. ‘You are not going to live your life the way you like – that’s one thing you can be sure of. Your life’s mapped out for you now, that’s clear to anybody. From now on you haven’t got any choice in what happens to you. It’s going to be one lifetime’s slog of trying to make ends meet – that’s what it’s going to be for you.’

  ‘Abbie,’ Lizzie cried out to her elder sister, ‘make her stop. Please, make her stop.’

  Abbie put her arms around Lizzie, drawing her closer. ‘Mother,’ she said over Lizzie’s head, ‘I think you’re being cruel and very hard on the girl. At a time like this she needs all the support she can get.’

  ‘Well, I’m sorry,’ Mrs Morris said disdainfully, ‘but if she expects me to condone her stupidity she’ll have to wait a mighty long time.’

  Breaking from the circle of Abbie’s embrace, Lizzie turned to her mother and said passionately, ‘I don’t expect anything from you! I would be a fool to do that!’ Striding across the room, she s
natched her coat from the hook on the door. ‘I’m going. I’m not staying here.’ Looking back at her mother she added, tears shining in her eyes, ‘I love Adam. I love him and he loves me. And we’re going to be married. And we want to be married. So what does it matter to you or anyone else how we do it? And so what if we’ll never be rich? We’ll have each other and that’s what we want. And anyway, it’s our lives.’ She turned to Abbie. ‘Abbie, I’m sorry to leave like this after all the trouble you’ve gone to, but I can’t stay.’ To her younger sister she said, ‘You stay if you want to, our Iris, but I’m going.’

  Iris stood undecided for a moment, watching as Lizzie pulled on her coat, then said: ‘I’ll come with you.’ She could not look her mother in the face.

  Lizzie, putting on her bonnet, moved to the door. ‘I’ll see you at our Eddie’s, Iris. I’ll wait for you there.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Mrs Morris said, ‘you go to your brother’s. At least you all know which side he’s on.’

  Lizzie looked at her for a moment, then turned and ran out, the door banging behind her. As Abbie started across the room after her, her mother said, ‘Let her go.’ Abbie came to a stop. ‘Don’t you care?’ she asked.

  Mrs Morris shrugged. ‘The girl’s made up her mind. You can see that.’

  ‘Oh, Mother . . .’ Abbie shook her head in despair. She turned to Iris who was taking her own coat down from the hook. ‘Iris, tell her to come back. She mustn’t leave like this.’

  Tears glittering in her own eyes, Iris said, ‘She won’t come back now, Abbie. You must know that.’ She glanced across at her mother. ‘And I don’t blame her either.’

  Mrs Morris looked at her coldly. ‘If you’re going too, then get going.’ To no one in particular she said, ‘A fine day this has turned out to be.’

  ‘Yes,’ Iris said, ‘and whose fault is that?’

  Abbie looked in surprise at her sister – she who was usually so reticent.

  ‘Oh,’ said Mrs Morris, ‘so the little mouse has got a voice after all.’

  Iris and her mother faced one another across the room. ‘Yes, I’ve got a voice,’ Iris said. ‘And I don’t mind telling you that if you don’t see Lizzie again you’ve only got yourself to blame.’

  Mrs Morris was silent for a moment, then she said coldly, ‘Aren’t you going? Your sister will be waiting for you.’

  Iris shook her head in sorrow. ‘Mother, you don’t know how nervous we were about coming to see you today. We weren’t hoping for a great deal. Only that we could – well – that perhaps we could make a new start together.’

  Mrs Morris turned her face away.

  ‘It was easier for me,’ Iris went on. ‘You can’t imagine how difficult it was for Lizzie. Not only were we seeing you again after so long, but she had her – her news to tell you.’ Her voice was coloured by her tears. ‘You don’t know how she dreaded it – how worried she’s been. If there had been a better time for you all to know then it might have been easier, but you can’t plan these things. You had to know today. But Lizzie loves Adam and he loves her. And he’s a good young man. It might be true that they’ve got nothing, but they’ll manage somehow.’ She took a step forward. ‘Don’t you see? She needed your understanding at a time like this. She wanted your love, not your condemnation. But how should we expect you to understand that?’

  ‘Don’t let me hold you up,’ Mrs Morris said.

  Buttoning her coat, Iris gazed at her. With a shake of her head she said: ‘Oh, why should we have expected anything different from you? You haven’t changed at all.’

  While her mother visibly stiffened at the words, Iris went on, ‘You never cared for any of us – never. You proved that ten years ago and you proved it again today.’ She put on her bonnet and tied it beneath her chin. Stepping to Abbie, she put her arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Thank you for a lovely dinner, Abbie. I’m sorry it all ended like this.’

  Abbie held her. ‘Iris – don’t go.’

  ‘I’ve got to.’ Iris broke away. ‘Lizzie’s upset. She won’t come back here today. When we’ve seen Eddie we’ll start on back to Lullington.’

  Without a further word or glance at her mother she crossed to the door and left the room. A moment later Abbie saw her hurrying away along the lane. After the briefest hesitation Abbie herself was reaching for her coat.

  Her mother watched as she did up the buttons. ‘You’re leaving too, are you?’

  Abbie took down her bonnet. ‘I must. I can’t let them go like that.’

  Abbie could hear Eddie bellowing as she knocked and entered the cottage in Green Lane. In the kitchen she found Lizzie sitting with her face in her hands and Iris standing beside her. They both still wore their coats and bonnets. On the settle nearby sat Violet with Sarah in her arms. Eddie stood with his back to the window, glaring at Lizzie. He had just heard her news. Red in the face, he clenched his teeth over his indrawn breath. ‘Adam Woodward’s his name, is it?’ he said. ‘Well, I’ll be going to see Mr Woodward! ’E ain’t treatin’ my sister like that and gettin’ away with it.’

  ‘Oh, Eddie, please,’ Lizzie said, raising her tear-stained face. ‘Don’t go making trouble for us. We got enough to think about already.’

  ‘I should damn well think you ’ave,’ he said. ‘I’ll give ’im bloody trouble when I gets ’old of ’im. He’ll be bloody sorry ’e laid ’ands on a sister o’ mine. Well, I’ll tell you summat, ’e better do the right thing by you – else ’e’ll know what trouble really is.’

  ‘Eddie,’ Iris broke in, ‘she already told you they’re getting married next month.’

  ‘And so they better be.’ He glared at his, as if somehow it was now her fault. Turning back to Lizzie he said, ‘And you tell ’im, your Mr Woodward, that I wants to know the date and the time of the weddin’. And you tell ’im too that ’e better be there. Cause if he ain’t there ’is life ain’t gunna be worth nothin’. You tell ’im that. ’E ain’t playing.’ fast and loose with no sister o’ mine and that’s for sure.’

  ‘He’s not like that,’ Lizzie said. ‘He loves me.’

  ‘Just as well for ’im, then.’ Eddie looked around at Abbie as if seeing her for the first time. ‘What d’you think about all this, then, our Abbie?’

  Abbie sighed and spread her hands. ‘Oh, Eddie, does it matter what I think? Does it matter what any of us think?’

  ‘Oh, ah.’ He nodded. ‘I might o’ guessed you’d take that attitude.’

  ‘It’s only important that Lizzie does what she wants to do,’ Abbie said. ‘And if she wants to marry her Mr Woodward and he wants to marry her then I don’t see what’s wrong with that. Anyway, there’s nothing we can do about it.’

  ‘Oh, you think not, do you?’ he said belligerently. ‘Well, you just wait and see.’

  ‘Oh, Eddie, for goodness’ sake,’ Abbie said impatiently. ‘Stop behaving like this. It’s always the way with you.’

  ‘Well, with Father gone I’m the ’ead o’ this family now. And I’m responsible for you girls.’

  ‘Well, that’s very commendable,’ Abbie said.

  He looked at her sharply at this, as if suspecting sarcasm.

  ‘No,’ Abbie said, ‘I mean it, I do. But that being the case you’ve got to act responsibly. It’s no use you going charging about like some dratted bull in a china shop. That’ll only make things worse. Leave Lizzie and her young man to sort it out for themselves. She’s a sensible girl; she’ll be all right.’

  ‘Sensible!’ he said with a snort. ‘She ain’t got the sense of one of White’s cows. If she’d ’ad any sense she wouldn’t’ve got ’erself in this mess in the first place.’ He snorted again. ‘Sense, my arse.’

  Iris spoke up again now. ‘Eddie, listen,’ she said gently, ‘I’ve met Lizzie’s young man and I tell you he’s a right nice young fellow.’

  ‘Yes, he is,’ Lizzie said. ‘He is.’

  ‘It’s true, Eddie,’ Iris said. ‘And he’s that fond of her, really. And I know h
e’ll do right by her.’ She put a hand on Lizzie’s arm. ‘Come on, dry your tears, Lizzie. Everything’s going to be all right, you’ll see.’

  ‘Well,’ Eddie said grudgingly, ‘it damn well better be.’

  A little silence fell in the room, broken only by the sound of the clock and Lizzie’s sniffs while she dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. The wind was going out of Eddie’s sails now and he was growing calmer. Though not quite ready just yet to give in completely, he added, ‘Anyway, I’ll be keepin’ my eye on things and at the first sign of trouble I’ll be in Lullington faster than Mr Woodward can spit. I ’ope ’e understands that.’

  Iris and Abbie exchanged brief glances. Things would be all right now. Abbie looked at Eddie and gave an inward sigh – not untouched by affection. His reaction had been exactly what she might have predicted.

  Eddie remained standing with his back to the window for a moment longer, then clapped his hands hollowly together and crossed the room. Bending, he took the baby from Violet’s arms. ‘Come on, babby,’ he said. ‘Come on to your dad.’ After a moment or two, looking over Sarah’s head, he said gruffly to Lizzie, ‘You wants to take your coat off, my girl, or you’ll catch a chill when you goes out. It’s bitter cold out there.’

  ‘Well,’ Violet said into the silence, rising from the settle, ‘how about a cup o’ tea, then?’

  Iris, Lizzie and Abbie, taking off their coats and bonnets, murmured their thanks. As Violet turned to the kettle on the range Eddie held Sarah out in his muscular arms.

  ‘Would one of you aunties like to ‘old your niece for a minute . . . ?’ He addressed all three of his sisters, but held the baby out towards Lizzie. Lizzie gently took the baby from her brother.

  ‘Am I the only one who knows?’ Eddie said.

  Lizzie looked up questioningly, while Abbie frowned and said, ‘The only one who knows what? What do you mean?’

  ‘Our mother,’ he said. ‘Do she know about Lizzie’s baby comin’?’

  Lizzie, nodding, said grimly, ‘Yes, she knows.’

  ‘What’s up?’ Eddie said. ‘Why d’you look like that?’

  ‘I’ll tell you later, Eddie,’ Abbie said quickly. ‘Leave it for now.’