How The Cookie Crumbles

by Ting, Melanie

  Antonio came in, and I did the honours. “Antonio, these are my roommates, Luke and Jake.” He shook hands with them.

  “Have a seat, Antonio. Can I get you a beer or something?” Jake asked, grinning a mile wide, probably because he could see me seething. I hoped that he wouldn’t offer up the box of wine I knew was in the fridge.

  “Thank you, but Frances and I have plans to attend a concert tonight, and we have to leave shortly. She mentioned that you were both on a long trip?”

  “Yeah, we’re hockey players. But she never mentioned you, Antonio. What is it that you do?”

  “I am in the wine business. Are you interested in wine?”

  “Oh, I had a glass once, I didn’t really like it,” Jake replied. Antonio laughed politely, but I knew this to be the truth. Jake was not exactly sophisticated. “Well, make sure you have Frances home early tonight. We’ll be waiting up for her.”

  Jake stood up, and both he and Luke crossed their arms and tried to look menacing. Antonio didn’t seem to be afraid though. “Frances is a very independent woman, but I will do my utmost to keep her safe.”

  And then we left. Antonio opened the door of the car for me and once I was inside I looked back at the house, both of them were still standing in the doorway. I stuck my tongue out at them, then nervously turned to make sure that Antonio couldn’t see how immature I was being. Luckily he hadn’t, and off we went. Were they serious about waiting up for me? No, they had a game tomorrow so most likely they’d be fast asleep.

  Jake

  Domer and I stayed in the doorway until the Porsche 911 roared out of sight.

  “Nice car,” Domer said.

  “Crap, how old is that guy?” I wondered. “He’s ancient, like in his thirties for sure. What does Frankie see in an old guy like that?”

  “Hard to know. He’s obviously rich, sophisticated, good-looking, and cultured. But beyond that, what’s to like?”

  “Exactly! What’s to like? It’s not like he’s really good at a sport or something,” I complained.

  Domer started laughing at me. “Let’s go see what’s in the crockpot tonight, Jakester.”

  After dinner, Domer and I went out to shoot some pool with Clarkie and Lurch. When we got home, Frankie was still out. I went to the kitchen to get a snack. The cookie tin was empty these days, so I had a bowl of cereal. Domer went to bed early, but I was watching TV when she finally walked in.

  “Jake, you’re still up!” Frankie looked pretty much the same as she had when she left. Intact.

  “Yeah, what did you and Gramps do tonight?”

  “Oh grow up, Jake.” She scowled at me and sat down on the other end of the couch. She slipped off her high heels and rubbed her feet, wincing.

  “Blech, I got these new shoes, and I should have broken them in first. They just looked so perfect with this dress.”

  She did look pretty; the dress was black lace and a blue colour I liked. She unpinned her hair, and as it fell down around her face, she looked sweet and vulnerable. I felt an ache in my throat, but when I swallowed it went away.

  “Give me your feet,” I told her.

  She looked at me for a moment, and then swung her feet across the couch to me. I started massaging her feet, and she lay back on the couch. “Oh yeah, that feels so good,” she sighed happily. Touching Frankie again felt good all right, and I could still feel the connection between us. I reached up and grabbed her calf.

  “What are you doing?” Frankie raised herself up on her elbows.

  “I need you to get closer,” I told her, and I pulled her towards me. That made her skirt ride up, and I could see up her dress. She was wearing panties that were black lace like her dress. Hot. And as I rubbed her feet she was moaning a little, which was also hot. This was getting good.

  “Could be even better if I got some body oil,” I told her.

  Frankie sat up and looked at me. “Which you happen to have in your magic drawer, right?” Then she pulled her feet away and sat up.

  “I better get to bed,” Frankie said. She looked down at the floor and her hair fell around her face so I couldn’t see her expression.

  “Really? It’s not that late.” I didn’t even know what time it was, but it seemed like something was going to happen here.

  “It’s too late,” she said and grabbed her shoes and headed to her room.

  60. Another One Bites the Dust

  Since Cameron was genuinely a starving artist, I had had him over for dinner a few times while the guys were on their road trip. I usually invited Sofia, Leon or Franco at the same time since Cameron tended to come on pretty strong. I liked him, but he was too pushy. It was difficult enough for me to date different guys at the same time, without getting physically involved as well.

  One time when Cameron came over, he brought a painting.

  “What’s this?” I asked. I knew what it was of course, it was one of his smaller paintings that I had admired. Smaller was relative of course, it was still about four feet by four feet.

  “It’s a present for you,” Cameron said, with a half-smile on his face.

  “I can’t accept this!” I told him firmly. Based on what happened at the auction, this painting was worth at least $10,000, probably more since this one was way better.

  “Why not? You’re always making dinner for me, and I’ve nothing to give you.” He gave me a sideways look. “Plus if you wanted to be my girlfriend and sleep with me, it would be entirely appropriate.”

  Maybe it was something in the water at Jake’s townhouse, but now I was the one dodging commitment. I shook my head, demanding sarcastically, “Are you suggesting I prostitute myself for art?”

  “Why not? I do it daily.” Cameron laughed loudly at this notion.

  “Please, sleeping with me would be worth at least one of your large scale canvases,” I assured him.

  “Right on! I’ll get my pal, Arthur, to loan me his pick-up truck and bring one over. Any one in particular that you fancy?”

  “I’m kidding,” I told him firmly. I was looking at the painting again. It was amazing. I pointed out one section in particular, “I really like this area, the depth of the painted layers gives it such an incredible sense of your process.”

  Cameron cocked his head at me. “I don’t know why I trust your opinions, but I do. Perhaps it’s because you’re one of the few people in my life who doesn’t want anything from me,” he said solemnly. “I like my work to be properly appreciated. Look Frankie, you’ve nothing decent here, why don’t you keep the painting? We’ll call it a loan, and I’ll take it back when you return to Canada.”

  I resisted a little but finally agreed. I took down one of the ugly prints and put the painting up in its place. I found that I loved looking at it every day; having original art in my life made me happier.

  Still that meant that as my part of the deal, I had Cameron over for dinner regularly. The hotplate and toaster oven in his loft were not enough for my cooking aspirations. This had worked out well when the guys were away, but now that they were home, it was going to be trickier. It wasn’t that I thought that Jake particularly cared what I did in my spare time, only that I wanted to be more considerate than he was, and not rub his face in my personal life. And I certainly didn’t want to hear his opinions. I never thought about Antonio’s age before, but now that Jake kept harping on it, I noticed I was becoming more conscious. Jake was like this little irritating voice in my head.

  So I consulted their schedule and planned a dinner for a Saturday night when they had a game against Colorado. Except I found out at the last minute that the game was actually at 1:00 in the afternoon.

  “Who plays hockey in the afternoon?” I wondered. “So you’re probably going out with the guys afterwards, right?”

  Jake smirked at me. “Why Frankie, you seem a little tense… as usual. Were you planning some bingo with Gramps and his senior buddies?”

  “No, I was just having a couple of friends to dinner.” I tried to make it sou
nd boring and innocent.

  “Well, you know, Domer and I were really looking forward to having dinner at home after being on the road so long. And we’ve hardly seen you, Frankie.” He was using this fake sincere voice.

  “It’s not going to be anything special,” I protested, but I could tell that Jake was going to be there, regardless.

  “Your cooking is always special. And I love meeting your friends!” he declared.

  Jake

  When Frankie mentioned that she was having a couple of friends over for dinner on a night me and Domer were supposed to go out, I figured that we could change our plans. I think she was a little pissed to hear we were going to be home, but it wasn’t like she could kick us out of our own house. Domer decided he was going out anyway and suggested I do the same, but I came straight home after our game. It was a win, and I was feeling good. Frankie’s friends were already there, but instead of the greasy Antonio, it was some surfer dude and a cute brunette. I assumed that they were a couple; Frankie introduced them and said that he was an artist.

  “An artist, eh? So would I have seen your work anywhere?” I asked. I found it hard to believe that this guy was an artist, he looked more like a burned-out druggie.

  “Only if you’ve turned around,” Cameron replied, pointing the painting on the wall behind me.

  “Oh. That’s yours? I meant to ask Frankie about it, but she’s never home.” I looked over at Frankie, and she rolled her eyes at me. “I like it a lot,” I told him. “At first I didn’t get it because it wasn’t really a picture of anything, but it sort of grew on me.”

  “Can’t call you a complete Neanderthal now, can I? Okay if I get another beer?” he asked. He was pretty down-to-earth for an artist, and I brought him a beer while Frankie poured some iced tea for her and Sofia. Cameron seemed pretty relaxed here, so I figured he’d been over before. We ended up talking about the UEFA Champions League; he was a big soccer fan.

  As the evening went on, it became clear that Cameron was more into Frankie than Sofia: he watched her all evening, touched her every chance he got, and couldn’t shut up about how good her cooking was. Frankie didn’t seem too interested though, and she certainly kept him at arm’s length. They all started arguing about some art show they had seen, and I zoned out. It seemed like Frankie had already met a lot of different guys in L.A., and I wondered if she was doing it to make me jealous. If so, it wasn’t really working because I got the feeling she wasn’t really into any of them.

  Afterwards, I gave Frankie my opinion as I helped her load the dishwasher, “I like the Dude better than Gramps, even though he’s pretty weird. But I don’t think either one is right for you.”

  “Really?” she asked with eyebrows raised. “Well, maybe you’ll like door number three better.”

  BV must have been shooting a used car commercial or something, because I didn’t see her at all when the boys first came back. Then one evening after dinner, I heard the farting exhaust of her old car outside, so I excused myself before she even came in the house. I retreated to my room and put on my noise-cancelling headphones. I figured that I was over the whole jealousy part, but I still found it pretty unpleasant to have to hear Jake in bed with her. Mostly because she was such a bitch, but there was more. When I heard Jake in bed, I kept remembering everything we had done. It took away from what I had thought was special about us having sex, to know that I was only one in a long line of women who had apparently been there and done that. Never got the t-shirt though. However, like a leaking faucet or a sore back, it had begun to bother me less and less. I was out having a great time, so I found it easier to deal with Jake’s love life.

  Still wearing the headphones, I went to bed and read. It wasn’t long afterwards that I heard some loud noises, but from the living room rather than Jake’s room. I could hear BV shrieking. It wasn’t her normal sex screaming though; this was different. I pulled off the headphones to listen.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re breaking up with meeee!!!”

  There was the noise of something being thrown and breaking. And then more screaming.

  “It’s her, isn’t it? That fucking Suzy Homemaker moves in here and suddenly you’re all different. Have you been fucking her already?”

  I couldn’t hear what Jake said, his voice was only a low murmur. But suddenly the thin walls were an asset; this was better than reality TV. And I was in the cast too! I sat up in bed and hugged my knees.

  “Well you can screw that fat, ugly dwarf and live fucking happily, ever-fucking after!”

  Dwarf? Height-challenged, surely. And if she thought I was fat now, she should have seen me before. My guess was that Aspen herself was not looking so pretty right now. I had seen her witch face and it was scary.

  “This is fucking ridiculous! You’re just some fucking hick from Canada and you’ve never had it so good.”

  Could this marriage be saved? Maybe not.

  “Do you want to know how fucking good an actress I am? I never came once with you, you suck in bed, you fat pig! I only went out with you to make connections. I fucking hate you!”

  Talk about clichés, using the old you-never-made-me-come was so lame, but she couldn’t use the small penis insult for obvious reasons. Probably it would be wrong for me to pop out right now and offer up that he was good in bed.

  There was another loud noise as she threw something else. And then the door slammed, and I heard the sound of her car peeling away. There was a long silence, and I wondered if Jake was okay. Then I heard Luke come out of his room. There was Luke’s low voice and Jake’s murmur back. I debated joining them, but I figured I’d just end up cleaning the mess, in more ways than one. Plus they were close friends and Luke would know what to say. Finally I heard Jake laughing, and I felt relieved. I snuggled under my covers and went to sleep.

  61. The Girl Who Played With Fire

  Jake

  As we drove to the morning skate the next day, I said to Domer, “Last night is another reason why you shouldn’t have a girlfriend. We weren’t even in a relationship, and I had to take all that crap.”

  Domer gave me a pained look as he eased onto the freeway. “Yeah, but you’re the only one on the planet who didn’t think you were in a relationship. You saw her a lot, you fucked her regularly, and you took her to a team party. Apparently you are capable of being in a relationship, as long as you can pretend you’re not.”

  “I was still sleeping with other girls,” I pointed out to him.

  “Whatever, Jakester. I don’t really care what you do. Myself, I prefer things to be honest, but whatever.”

  “Yeah but you agree, right? We’re too young to be in serious relationships.”

  “Actually I do. Serious ones. “

  I didn’t really care that much about all the shit that Aspen said last night, but I was a little embarrassed that Frankie might have heard it all. Aspen said some pretty mean stuff about her, and Frankie was gone before I got up so I wasn’t sure how she took it.

  “Do you think Frankie heard everything last night?” I asked Domer.

  “I’m pretty sure people as far as Anaheim heard everything last night.”

  “I hope she wasn’t upset at all the shit Aspen said about her.”

  Domer shook his head. “Frankie hates Aspen, and vice versa. I’m sure Frankie gets that it’s all bullshit.”

  “How do you know all this shit?” I wondered. Before last night, Aspen had told me how much she liked Frankie.

  “I watch people, I don’t just listen to what they say. She’s leaving in a month, you know.”

  “She is?” I guess I knew that, but I hadn’t really thought about it while we were away. In some ways, Frankie was messing with my head and I would be happy when she left, but in other ways I would miss her a lot.

  “Yeah, so now that’s you’ve turfed Aspen, are you thinking of going back there?”

  “Frankie? No, she’s great, but she’s too serious.”

  I felt guilty saying
that and I kind of decided I’d try to spend some more time with her, but it wasn’t that easy. We had a game against Detroit that night, and she had gone to bed by the time we got home. Then the next day, when she got home from work, she announced she was going out and went to her room to get ready.

  “Is there a crockpot?” I asked Domer.

  “No. I told Frankie she doesn’t have to make us dinner when she’s not going to be home to eat it with us. We can fend for ourselves.”

  “So, I’ll order pizza?”

  “Okay, but let’s make a salad too. I don’t want to be totally unhealthy.”

  I was working on the salad when the doorbell rang. I figured it was the pizza guy, so I grabbed my wallet and opened the door. Chris Bauer was standing there, looking sort of nervous.

  “Hey, Cookie. How you doing?”

  “I’m good, Bear. Come on in.” It wasn’t totally weird that he might drop by, but it wasn’t something he did all the time. He was one of the quieter guys on the team. “You up for dinner? Just pizza, but we ordered the good kind.”

  “Actually….” he hesitated, and then Frankie walked into the living room. She looked beautiful; she was wearing a red polka dotted dress I remembered from last summer. Her dark hair was down and curling around her face and her lips were red. She smiled widely, and I smiled back at her. Then I realized she was looking behind me.

  “Hi Chris, I’m all set.” She walked over and lifted her head to look up at him, and he smiled down at her. He put a hand on the small of her back, and they walked towards the door.

  “Great, let’s go then. See ya, Cookie,” said Bear. Frankie murmured goodbye as well, but she never looked back at me. As they walked to his car, the pizza guy was walking up to the house, so I paid him and took the pizzas into the house.

  “The pizza’s here,” I called out to Domer, taking it to the living room. I think he was doing laundry or something.

  “Did you know Frankie was going out with Bauer?” I asked him after we started eating.