Promises, Promises

by Sandy Loyd

  “Oh, come on, Judith,” Kate scoffed, totally dismissing her suspicions with the wave of her hand. “Dev’s not that good an actor. And revenge? For what?”

  Judith sighed. Damn! Did she sound like a crazy person? Of course she did. She put her head in her hands, thinking. “I should tell you the whole story so you’ll finally understand.”

  She proceeded to tell Kate everything, from the moment she’d met Dev until the scene just minutes before. She told her about Dev’s near seduction the night of the party, which led to Dev’s current pursuit, the building and the part he played in bringing them together. She finally closed her story telling Judith all about last night, how she’d still been a virgin when they finally slept together, about their conversation this morning and the assumptions she’d made based on the guilty look on his face.

  Kate sat against the cushion totally dumbfounded. “I can’t believe this. Until last night, you were a virgin?” She looked to Judith for confirmation. When she nodded, Kate snorted. “Why did I never know? I thought I knew everything about you.”

  “Some things are too personal and private to talk about. I’ve never told anyone. It was easier to pretend I wasn’t, especially with Paul in the picture. People just assumed we were intimate.”

  “It’s a shock. Hell, it’s more than a shock. It’s incredible.” A grin slid over her face. “You had to be the only twenty-seven-year-old virgin in California.”

  What could Judith say? Yeah, she probably was. The thought didn’t make her feel any better. Her virginity always made her feel different. Like an outcast.

  “You and Paul were a couple for so long,” Kate said. “I’m one of those who always assumed you slept together. Paul and I never discussed it. I figured if he could forget about James sleeping with me, I could forget him sleeping with you.” She leaned her head against the sofa. “How could I be so wrong?”

  “It’s true.” Judith sighed, relieved to have finally unburdened her secret. Emotionally drained, she closed her eyes. “I don’t know what to do, or what to think anymore. I’ve lost all objectivity. Since meeting Dev again, my life has been one long roller coaster ride.”

  Kate appeared to have no idea of what to say, so quiet prevailed.

  Both sat lost in thought, until Kate’s laughter broke the silence. “Damn, I wish it was later than ten in the morning. I need a drink.”

  Judith laughed. She was a total mess and needed much more than a single drink. She needed a whole bottle…twenty bottles…to drown her misery.

  When their laughter died, Kate gave Judith an assessing look. “You want to know something? You’ve given me a gift and you don’t even realize it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, since we are both being honest here, I have to tell you something. I’ve been so envious of you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Paul loved you first.”

  “It’s a different kind of love with us. You have to know that.”

  “No,” Kate said, shaking her head. “You don’t know him like I do, Judith. He loved you a lot more than you realize. I’ve always felt a little insecure about your relationship. Since there was nothing I could do about it, I accepted it. I certainly never questioned it because I love him so much.”

  “We’ve never been more than good friends.”

  “I see that now. Paul told me he grew up loving you and couldn’t change the fact, and he’s always said his heart was free when he chose me. He loved you as a boy and loves me as a man. But, you were always there. I’m so relieved to know you never slept with him. Does that make me a bitch or what?”

  “There was never any attraction or chemistry between us. Why do you think it was always so easy to keep throwing up obstacles? My lack of interest in him was a challenge to overcome, something he thought he always wanted and couldn’t have, which simply made him want it more, even after he realized his idea of us as a couple had flaws.”

  Kate mulled it over for a moment, then nodded. “Makes sense. And it sounds like a Morrison male.”

  “If what I’d felt for Paul was one-tenth as strong as what I feel for Dev, maybe you’d have something to feel insecure about. But it wasn’t there. On either side.”

  “I think I know what you’re saying,” Kate said, offering a sheepish grin. “Do you remember the time we were all meeting in Tahoe to go skiing? You and James got snowed out and couldn’t join us?” Judith’s eyes narrowed. “Remember?” When she nodded, Kate added, “Paul and I kissed each other. Several times.”

  “No? Really?” Judith stared open-mouthed at Kate. “You and Paul? In Tahoe? You hated each other then. I always had to play referee.”

  Kate laughed. “Well, there’s the attraction thing you’re talking about. When it’s there, it’s there. Go figure. I was wildly, unexpectedly attracted to Paul. And judging by the results of the weekend, he was too.”

  “See! We never had wild attraction. I always wondered what changed his mind so quickly when he broke it off for good. I wasn’t into Paul then and so I wasn’t paying much attention.” She grabbed Kate’s hand. “I can’t believe we were all just coasting through life.”

  “How true. If not for that weekend, I’d probably still be chasing James. Oh, the mistakes we make,” Kate said, sighing.

  “I’m glad the weekend in Tahoe created a change. Funny, how life’s experiences force us to change.”

  “I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to me,” Kate admitted, shaking her head. “I felt so guilty…like such a pariah…for taking Paul away from you. I even went out with another guy to try and get over Paul. That almost broke us up before we even got together. Somehow, we managed. But it was one hell of a ride while I was going through it.” Kate heaved a heavy sigh. “Now you know my horrible secret.”

  “It sure has been a day for truths.” Judith leaned into the sofa. Her head fell back. “But those truths don’t help me decide what to do.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, except follow your heart. After watching you two yesterday and last night, I could have sworn Dev was smitten. Gave me a warm feeling just seeing you two together.” Kate’s expression turned thoughtful. “I don’t know if he’s cruel enough to be so devious and calculating. He’s always been aloof and unreachable, but since you guys have been dating, he seemed more human.”

  “My heart feels a little bruised right now.” Judith’s forehead rested in her hand, until she pulled the hand through her hair. “I feel raw. I need to think.”

  “What about the party tonight?” Kate asked, frowning with concern.

  She groaned. “I forgot about that.”

  “He’ll probably be there. His assistant called and got the specifics last week when he was out of town.”

  “I’m not sure if I can face him. I just want to go home right now. I’ll call you later at around four or five to let you know if I can make it.”

  “How are you getting home? It’s your birthday. You shouldn’t be alone. I’ll drive you.”

  “Thanks, but I’m fine. I’ll take a taxi. It’ll be worth the money.”

  “No! You are not taking a taxi. Let me leave a note for Paul.”

  “Kate, you don’t have to. I’ll be okay.”

  “No, just wait.” After writing a quick note, she grabbed Judith’s things, handing Judith her purse. “Okay, let’s go,” she said, snatching her own purse and ushering her out the door.

  “You’re the best. Thanks, I owe you.”

  “Get out. It’s the least I could do for someone who didn’t sleep with my husband,” she joked as they headed toward the elevator.

  Judith had to laugh. “When you put it like that, it puts a whole new spin on it. I like it.” It was certainly better than crying.

  ~

  Dev paced, wondering where in the hell Judith had gone. He didn’t want to let the world in on his business or have to answer nosy questions about why she left in the first place, so he didn’t pursue her. He packed up everything,
including her dress, shoes, and other items left behind after her mad dash, checked out, and intended to drive straight home.

  He accelerated and merged onto I-280, unable to keep his morose thoughts away. He wished he hadn’t screwed things up. He understood her dismay. At the same time, his anger simmered. She hadn’t listened to him, hadn’t even given him a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions.

  Hell, he was angrier with himself more for being such a jerk in the first place. He should’ve told her he loved her…and had loved her for ten years.

  He glanced at Judith’s personal effects and knew it would only be a matter of time before he saw her again. When he did, he’d make sure she understood what was in his heart.

  Dev didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t fix what he’d broken. He couldn’t risk failure. He needed her and couldn’t imagine a life without her. He felt like his soul would die, so fixing this became a matter of life and death.

  Somehow, some way, he’d make her see what she meant to him, but at the moment he was stuck on how.

  The thought made him realize how much he’d changed since he’d fallen in love. And because of this, he didn’t think the tactics he usually employed would work…would in fact do more harm.

  Pulling into his garage, his thoughts turned to the present and Judith’s birthday dinner. Should he attend? If he did, would Judith even be there?

  He was still deciding when he grabbed his bags and started inside.

  He put everything away, then noticed he had several messages on his cell phone. He’d silenced it last night and had never turned the volume up. He hit the voicemail button and walked into his bedroom, listening as people he knew, but had no interest in, droned on. Then a message from Kate Morrison caught his attention. He pressed Repeat.

  “Dev, this is Kate Morrison,” the message said. “Judith will be at her party tonight. She knows you’re aware of the time and place, so I thought the news might interest you.”

  How strange. He replayed it a handful of times. What was Kate getting at? Nothing in the message even hinted at it. No, she’s willing to talk…no, she hates you…no, she doesn’t want you there.

  He determined the call was meant to inform him of Judith’s actions, to use or not use at his discretion. Nothing more.

  Okay! He’d go to the party to personally give Judith his birthday gift, but he wouldn’t stay long. After Judith opened her gift, maybe she’d give him a chance to explain his actions. Hopefully she’d forgive him for thinking she was a snob in the first place. He was the true snob for judging her.

  He strode into his bedroom to unpack and change for a long run, feeling more optimistic.

  ~

  Judith walked into the Union Street restaurant later that evening wishing she’d cancelled. She wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, was only here for Kate, who’d gone to a lot of trouble and had arrived earlier to ensure things were ready.

  A waiter pointed to the private room. Even though Judith had wanted a small affair, eleven, if Dev showed up, was ten more people than she had the energy to deal with.

  She entered and groaned. Streamers and balloons hung from the ceiling. A big banner spanned the room. The rear table held a square cake sporting the same birthday message as the banner. Next to the cake were several gifts and plenty of space for more.

  She spied Kate, who excused herself from a waiter and rushed over to give her a quick hug.

  “I am so glad you decided to come.” Kate grabbed her hand and squeezed. “You’ll have fun.”

  “Yeah, I will.” Judith smiled and worked to shake her moodiness. For Kate’s sake. “I doubt I could sit at home wondering, especially knowing you couldn’t cancel the dinner.” Then she added more soberly, “Do you think he’ll come?”

  “Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky,” Kate said, fully aware she meant Dev.

  Judith nodded. Her sentiments exactly, but she wasn’t sure if she was hoping he’d be there or hoping he wouldn’t.

  She had no more time for speculation because the room soon filled with bodies and noisy chatter.

  “There’s the birthday girl,” said one friend who’d rushed over and had her in a bear hug.

  Worry about Dev’s presence faded as she got caught up in answering a barrage of questions. She laughed good-naturedly over jokes about her old age. No one had a clue her heart ached. In fact, most didn’t know she and Dev were even together.

  Someone shouted, “Here, the guest of honor should sit at the head of the table.” A chair appeared and she sat.

  Judith was in the middle of answering a question about her work when a disturbance at the door captured her attention. She looked up and caught Dev’s glance just as he walked into the room. He wore a sport coat, an open-necked shirt, and casual slacks with loafers, looking so handsome, he took her breath away. Annoyed at her reaction, she tore her gaze from his and smiled at the person she was talking to.

  Despite her best efforts her gaze kept returning to Dev, who found an empty seat in the middle of the table. She tried to ignore her disappointment when he made no effort to join her. It hurt.

  A moment later, James and Paul strolled in. After going up and giving Judith a quick hello and a birthday greeting, they made their way to the two vacant seats next to Dev.

  “Hey, Mac, how come you’re here and Judith’s way over there?” James said as he sat down. “Trouble in paradise already?”

  “I got here a little late, and everyone was already seated.” Dev said nonchalantly.

  “Well, go over and ask one of them to move.”

  “It’s no big deal. Most of Judith’s friends don’t know about us yet. So I’m going by her cues.”

  Judith swallowed hard. Dev was going by her cues? What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just smile at him… let everything go? She didn’t understand her motives. Didn’t understand why she sat there and pretended to ignore him while surreptitiously watching him. She felt so totally out of her element and wished she could just disappear.

  “My mom’s on cloud nine,” James joked, pulling Judith’s attention to the conversation about the ball and what a success it had been going on around the table. “Now that it’s over, I can finally get a little peace for the next nine months.”

  Everyone laughed.

  She spent the rest of the dinner in misery.

  Thankfully, dessert came and she was relieved when Kate tapped her wineglass with a fork and said, “Time to open presents.”

  Judith, more confused than ever, was having trouble keeping her eyes off Dev when he wasn’t looking. All she wanted to do was run and jump in his arms, to pretend as if nothing had happened, but she hurt inside. Felt bruised and raw and didn’t know why. Everything hit at once. She should have called and left a message, asking him to please stay away.

  She was finishing her dessert after opening the last of her gifts, and looked up to see the object of her thoughts walking straight for her.

  “Happy birthday, Judith,” he said. “I’d stay longer, only my presence isn’t helping matters. But I did want to give you my gift.”

  He held out a beautifully wrapped box.

  “Thank you, Dev.” She took it. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness.” Judith looked into his eyes, and seeing the torment in them, she glanced at the present in her lap.

  “Please, Judith, give me a chance to explain. Have dinner with me.”

  “Let me think about it, okay?” she asked, clearly torn. Why didn’t she jump at the chance? What was wrong with her?

  “Sure. Well, happy birthday. Maybe when you open your gift, you’ll know how I feel.”

  Then Dev turned and slowly walked out.

  Viewing his retreating back, she felt bereft. Tears threatened. How could she be crying again? She thought she was all cried out. She glanced at the gift and placed it on the table to open later.

  Judith caught James’ concerned look and smiled. “James, I’m so glad you came tonight.”

  “I wouldn’t mis
s it.” He hesitated. “Is everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine.”

  He nodded, but didn’t seem convinced. “I’m afraid I have an early morning tomorrow. Thanks for having me.” He grinned. “I hope you like my gift.”

  “It’s much too extravagant and you shouldn’t have done it, but thank you,” Judith said, her smile brightening. “I love the wine country and can’t wait to make use of your gift certificate.”

  “I got it with you and Dev in mind. If you change your mind about him, you can always use it with me. Just say the word and I’m yours to command,” he joked, before turning to walk out.

  “I should be so lucky.” She laughed and shouted after him, “Drive carefully.”

  The group eventually whittled down to just Paul, Kate, and Judith.

  Kate let out a huge sigh. “Wow! Thank goodness it’s over. What a weekend. I’m glad I don’t have to drive home.”

  “What, you’re not driving?” Paul teased.

  “No, I’m not.” Giggling, she slapped at his shoulder. “And don’t even joke about it. I’m exhausted.”

  He smiled. “Poor baby, you need some TLC and I know just who’ll give it to you.” Then, turning to Judith, he asked, “Can she spend the night with you?”

  Judith laughed, as Kate tried to elbow him. Kate glowed when he grabbed her elbow and bent his head to capture her lips with his in a quick kiss.

  “Okay, you drive a hard bargain,” he said after releasing her lips. He kissed her neck. “I’ll drive home, but only for a wild night in bed.”

  Laughing, Kate replied, “On second thought, maybe I will spend the night with Judith.”

  “Help me carry this to my car,” Judith said, ignoring their bantering, wanting to wrap things up. “Then, you guys can continue sparring.”

  “I can help in just a minute.” Kate pulled away from Paul and nodded. “Help her while I go and square things with the bill, then I’ll be out to help, too.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Paul snapped to attention and saluted as she left the room. Then, he looked at Judith and asked in a concerned voice, “Is everything all right, Judith? You seem a little preoccupied.”