When She Least Expected It

by Jeanette Lynn

  "Well, I gotta go,” offering everyone a quick smile and a wave, I excused myself, “so I'll see you two around. It was lovely to meet you."

  "I don't think we caught your name?" Mrs. Reynolds prompted, right when I was started to sweat, ten seconds away from saying forget it, abandoning my shopping, and making a run for it.

  "Bit," I told her, waving and hurrying off before they could ask anything else.

  Yeesh, that was close, I thought, hurrying towards the check out. And Will is an ass!

  ****

  "Hey, Bit!" Elliot greeted as I began the arduous task of loading my groceries into my truck.

  Turning enough to face him and unload my goodies, I offered him a quick glance and a smile, intent on my task. "Hey, Elliot, how are ya?"

  "Good, actually," he said, helping me load up the rest, his lanky frame hefting my bags with ease.

  Done, and so much faster thanks to his help, I closed the tailgate, swiping my hands down my pants, and turned to lean against it. The metal was cool but not freezingly so, as I’d half been expecting. I needed to cool my hot head down somehow. I could sit on a bag of ice, maybe?

  Making to join me, Elliot leaned back against it too, putting his arms along the back of the top, one lanky arm going around my shoulders but not touching me.

  "Do you think you'd ever- Ah... Would you ever..." he started to say, but inevitably kept stopping.

  "Would I what?" I asked curiously, glancing up at him.

  He was a lot closer now, his tall frame bent, his face leaning towards me. I was feeling a little boxed in like this—cornered animal with nowhere to go closed in—but not threatened. Not with Elliot.

  My eyes widened and I could practically see my reflection staring back at me in his glasses, his big brown eyes regarding me warmly.

  A tiny, startled laugh caught in my throat, I jumped a little at his close proximity.

  "Are you going to the fundraiser for Janie?" he asked steadily, looking at me nervously. As if he’d found his question the most mundane, lame thing in the history of random, basic conversation, he grimaced and grunted, running one of his hands through his dark red locks.

  With a short bob of my head, I nodded. "Yeah."

  "Great! Maybe we could eat at the same table.” Elliot lit up, relief clear on his slightly freckled face, and his hand made a barely perceptible fist, as if to say, “Yes, alright!”. “Sit together."

  His excitement was infectious and I chuckled at him. The buddy system did work rather well for these kinds of things. Kept it interesting. "Sure, why not." Shaking my head at his odd yet endearing mannerisms, I laughed, smiling up at him.

  "Okay, it's a date then," he enthused, then shocked me stupid by closing the distance between us and planting a quick, hard kiss on my lips.

  My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I was flabbergasted. "Elliot?" I blurted, blindsided.

  He grinned, spinning around, chuckling as he hurried off, white teeth flashing at me. "See you then, Bit!" He waved cheerfully.

  "But..." I mumbled weakly. Shocked, but flattered.

  "Did he just kiss you?" Will asked, walking up to me, staring after Elliot, a small yet full bag of groceries clutched in his hand.

  "Yeah," I mumbled absently. Gobsmacked. That’s what I felt. Utterly sideswiped. Elliot...? Huh. Who’d’ve thunk it?

  "Are you two dating?" he grumbled, scowling over at Elliot now, his eyes boring into the back of his head.

  "Why do you care?" I muttered, shaking off my stupor and walking over to my truck door.

  Remember, Willy?! Just a few minutes ago you were beet red a moment ago when that couple thought I was your friggin' girlfriend, I thought indignantly.

  "Bit?" he grumbled out, right on my heels.

  "What?" I clipped out, getting testy. You can't get embarrassed about me one minute and jealous of my relationship with someone else the next. It just doesn't work that way.

  "Are you?" he asked doggedly.

  Closing my eyes briefly, I sighed and rubbed at my forehead. "It doesn't matter, remember? You're leaving, and you don't want to get involved with someone like me... yadda yadda. We're just friends. You have a small penis..."

  "Bit!" he said on a growl.

  Maneuvering him out of the way with a not so subtle, yet gentler than I would have done to Tobes, gut check, I jumped in my truck and locked the doors. Haha!

  "I do not have a small penis, damn it!" Fancy Pants gritted out angrily.

  Eyebrows shooting up, I put my thumb and pointer finger out, pinching them together, then spread them enough apart to make my point.

  Dill. Pickle. I mouthed the words at him from the safety of my big ol’ rust bucket, acting like I had to squint to see it.

  "Like hell!" he bellowed. With a snarl, he smacked the window and glared at me accusingly.

  Chuckling, amused from the inside out, I smiled and winked.

  "You've seen it up close, you short shit!” he ranted and raved, flat out yelling at me. “Your face was practically kissing my junk and you know very well how big it is!"

  Pinched a nerve, did I? Not, I wacked it one good.

  Mr. Seppel, hearing a commotion, walked out, hands on his hips as he shook his head at us.

  The Reynolds, I noticed, were out there too, another couple standing alongside them as they openly gaped at us.

  That got me really going. Laughing my fool head off, I waved at Will and started my truck, grinning like an idiot.

  Will froze at my expression and, seeing my eyes shift to just beyond him, back towards the front of the store, slowly turned around, noticing them now too.

  He’s gonna have fun covering that one up, I thought evilly.

  Pulling out to slowly make my way through the small parking lot, I waved at the Reynolds cheerfully. They waved back, but their eyes were still buggy. I waited until they couldn’t see me to burst out laughing again, pulling out into the street. They were still waving, their friends waving along half-heartedly with them as well, I noticed. Then there was Will, still staring after the ass end of my truck, his hands fisted at his sides, his face a very unbecoming purplish pink.

  Stepping on it as the light on the corner I’d just pulled up to turned green, I left Will to deal with the fall out as I took off down the street. I have things to do, now, I thought, heading straight home to Will-proof my house.

  Bungled Burglar

  I woke up when I heard the thump.

  With a grunt I popped up and looked around.

  My window was open, the curtain swaying in the breeze. There was a groan and a pitiful moan coming from somewhere beyond the end of my bed, right by my feet.

  Probably the floor, I thought and snorted. Staring blurrily, I reached for my glasses on the nightstand. After a few fumbled attempts, I finally found them and put them on.

  Shoving off most of my blankets and crawling forward, I slowly peeked over the edge of my bed, the moonlight sufficient enough to tell me my burglar was a sandy haired, hazel-eyed snob with a penchant for ladders.

  "Not as easy as you thought it would be, was it?" I asked sweetly, lying down on my belly on the end of the bed, my chin resting on my hands as I grinned down at him. A small, tinkling laugh escaping me, my legs swinging up behind me, swaying back and forth.

  This didn’t surprise me, not in the least.

  I mean, I knew he was going to do something to get me back, I just didn't know what, how, or when.

  "I fell," Will mumbled, stating the obvious from his sprawl on my hardwood floor.

  "And what, exactly, were you planning on doing to me?" I asked curiously, chuckling. "Were you going to show me your little penis?" I giggled out, breaking out into loud guffaws.

  "Oh, shut up and move over! I think I broke my spine," he whined, groaning as he rolled.

  Having a grand old time, I fell back, chortling my ass off.

  With many a muttered curse word, Will got up, shuffling towards the side of the bed, and flopped down next to me, face down, groan
ing pitifully.

  "If your spine was broken, you wouldn't be able to walk," I informed him primly.

  "Are you wearing a nightie, Bit?" Will asked distractedly, peeking up at me from one opened eye.

  Glaring down at him, I sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover my cleavage. "What of it, Tin Man, you gonna make a federal case out of it?"

  "No,” he was quick to say.

  "Does it not conform to your theory about us lake-folk? Should I be butt naked or wearing a granny nightgown?" I asked sarcastically. “Have gills and a third tit? Webbed toes?”

  He shrugged.

  "Didn't even cross my mind, Bit."

  "Then why bring it up, Captain Obvious?"

  "I like it. You have big... bazungas," he said, pausing and grinning suddenly, laughing when I whacked him a good one but laughed right along with him.

  He sobered up after a moment, shifting forward a bit more, staring down at his hands as they hung over the edge of the bed. "So... what's up with you and Smelliot?" he asked lightly, making a point of not looking at me.

  Unsure about where this was going, I decided to tread carefully. "Will..."

  "Are you?" he asked impatiently, frowning when I pursed my lips and snapped my mouth shut.

  "Well?" he barked out, a funny look on his face, sitting up to face me.

  "He wanted to know if I was going to Janie's fundraiser," I admitted quietly, though I didn’t see the point of any of this, turning my back on him to crawl under my covers. Making myself comfortable, I took my glasses off and set them back down on my nightstand.

  "And...?" he prompted.

  "And he wanted to sit with me when we eat." Snuggling down for the night, I adjusted my head on my pillow. "Make sure you put the ladder away when you're done, Willy. I don't want anyone else thinking they can climb in through my window. I have a one man a night policy," I said on a yawn.

  Will stiffened visibly. "Who else has crawled through your window?"

  "Doesn't matter, now does it?" I hid my smirk under another yawn.

  Will hoped up and walked over to the window. I heard a loud thump as he thrust the ladder away. Coming back, he glared at me as he rounded the bed.

  There were two thuds as he kicked off his shoes, and the bed dipped as he climbed in next to me.

  Sliding in to pull the covers over him as well, I could feel his arm brush against my back.

  "What else?" he demanded tightly.

  "What else what?" I muttered, distracted by his close proximity.

  His back to mine, I felt him roll, moving towards me, and I tensed.

  "Stop screwing around. You know what I want to know," he ground out.

  I rolled over to face him then, and gasped at how close he was to me, our bodies brushing against each other’s intimately before I could scoot back enough to give myself some space.

  "I don't like you hanging out with him," he went on, grumbling. Squishing us together, his arm wrapping around me to yank me to him before I could pull away, he pressed his length along mine, resting his chin on top of my head.

  "What are you doing, Will?" I asked tentatively, my hand resting gently against his chest. My fingers shook a little, no matter how hard I tried to hide it or how casual I wanted to sound.

  "Just answer the question, Bit," he demanded, his jaw clenching. "Are you dating Elliot?"

  Just who does he think he is, huh? I couldn’t say I cared much for his bossy tone or attitude.

  "You don't have the right to care," I told him bluntly.

  "I can care about whatever I want. You can't tell me who or what to care about! And right now, I don't like you hanging out with him and I don't care if you don't like it! I don't either!"

  A shocked laugh on my lips, I pulled away from him and poked him in the chest. "First off, that made no sense at all! Second, you can not like caring all you want, if that makes any damn sense. You have no say over what or who I do!"

  "You can't date him, Bit! I don't like it! I won't have it!"

  "You won't have it?! You won't have it! What the hell are you going to do about it, Willy boy, hmm? No. Now you listen up, you pompous gorilla! I'll date whoever I want! I'll kiss whoever I want! And I'll even let any man I want climb in through my window, break his neck on my stupid floor and ogle my boobs, if I so wish it! You got it?!"

  "Got it," he growled out, hovering over me, glaring down at me. He made his move then, just went for it, gripping my hair and capturing my lips with his in one fell swoop, frying my brain with a fierce, possessive kiss.

  I gasped at the first swipe of his lips against mine, but he swallowed the next one up as his tongue swept inside, brushing against mine, fusing our mouths together in a hard, demanding kiss.

  I kissed him back, my body lighting up at just the mere touch of him.

  His hand fisted in my hair, the other stroking along my hip caressingly as he admired my hips and ass with nimble fingers, memorizing my curves, it was almost too much and yet not nearly enough.

  "Bit," he murmured huskily against my lips, between kisses, his hand slipping lower to slide underneath my nightgown.

  Gathering enough wits to force myself into taking a much needed, if only momentary, timeout, I pulled back. "Will, what are you doing? What are we doing?" I asked breathlessly, still frazzled from his kisses.

  "I don't fucking know anymore," he ground out bitterly, his breaths coming out as heavily as mine, in short, hard pants.

  "And honestly, I don't care. God, you taste sweet, Bit. I want more." He went to move back in then, growling the words against my lips

  Sweet, hot, demanding kisses pulled me back in and he picked up right where we'd left off, his lips taking mine in kiss after ravishing, mind melting kiss, his hand sliding down between us to slip between my thighs. His index finger slowly stroked my clit through my underwear as he swiped it across it teasingly.

  I moaned, my hands doing a little exploring of their own, and I gripped his ass, slipping a hand inside his pants to get a good grip. Giving his cheek a nice squeeze, I pulled him against me tighter, our bodies rubbing intimately as we kissed and caressed each other, teasing ourselves beyond reason.

  Reality slowly crept into my sex-starved brain as I realized what I was about to do, washing over me like a bucket of cold water. He doesn't really want you, Tabs, he just wants sex. All those thoughts of late, unwanted truths, slapped at me, smacking me right in my flushed, kiss-wonky puss.

  With those thoughts in mind, I cut our face suck fest short, wiggling back, pulling my hand back to place it on his chest, where it held.

  "Bit," he groaned but didn’t argue my sudden reluctance, allowing me to pull away but not too far, resting his forehead against mine, "I want you."

  "No. You just want sex," I corrected him.

  His arms tightened around me and he didn’t hesitate to lean in, nuzzling my neck. "No... I want you," he murmured against my skin.

  "Why?

  With a sigh, he cleared his throat. "Because it's you. Don't ask me to explain it, short shit. I can't. I just do and that's that."

  "You said it would never work," I recited, not because I wanted to but because that’s what I was supposed to say.

  "I know," he admitted.

  "You think we're too different."

  "Yes," he said simply. He didn’t bother denying it.

  "You're leaving soon," I said quietly.

  "Yeah," he agreed, lifting one of his hands to sift his fingers through my hair.

  "You were embarrassed being seen with me today," I said on a sigh.

  At that he paused. "No, I wasn't," he said slowly, sounding puzzled.

  "The Reynolds... Seppel's grocers..."

  "I wasn't embarrassed about you, Bit. I was embarrassed about me."

  "Huh?" I mumbled, at a loss.

  "Is that why you were mad?" Pulling back to get a good look at me, he grinned, smiling at me a little suddenly, his perfect little dimples popping up on his handsome mug.

  "Maybe..." I mum
bled, looking away, a flush stealing across my cheeks.

  He laughed a little then, admiring my pinkened skin, brushing his hand over my cheeks gently, then pulled me closer.

  It felt nice, too nice. I could feel myself slipping, sliding towards something I wasn’t sure I could fight for much longer.

  "I should be swatting your ass for stranding me with all of them," he said after a moment.

  Giving him a short poke with the finger still pressed to his chest, I snorted. "Careful there, stud. You never know, I might like it," I scoffed, full of sass.

  "You probably would," he admitted, letting a hand trail over my bum, smiling against my forehead at he gave a cheek the tiniest tap.

  "How did you know those people, Will?" I asked quietly, swatting his wayward hand away.

  "Those were Jinny's parents," he mumbled uncomfortably. Dimples disappearing as his expression pinched, he looked like he’d just bit into a lemon.

  "Really?” Interest piqued, I blinked at him, staring questioningly. “The one that you..."

  "Yup."

  "Oooooh," I said after a long pause, watching the way his chest moved as he let out the breath he probably didn’t even realize he’d been holding.

  "Bit?" Will ventured, when we'd laid there quietly for a few minutes, the silence more comfortable than awkward after his admission.

  "Yeah?" Glancing up at him, dragging my gaze away from the wisps curly chest hair poking out the top of the collar of his shirt distractingly.

  "I still want to have sex with you," he told me bluntly, then went and nudged me with his erection.

  "Are you going to stay and make a go of it with me here?" I challenged more than asked, just as blunt, cutting the crap.

  "No," he said with complete honesty.

  "Then, no," I snapped, and reached out and pinched his thigh warningly.

  "Gah! Okay! Okay! Ouch! No more pinching!" he yelped out, tugging my hands away.

  Smiling and trying to hide it, I laid my head on his chest and breathed in his scent, absorbing the feel of his warmth and masculinity as he held me, his arms wrapping comfortably around me as I settled.

  "Can I at least stay the night...?” he asked hopefully. “If I promise to be good?"