by Susie Tate
‘Uh-oh,’ Frankie muttered under her breath.
‘We’re ushers,’ they both shouted together, drawing the attention of the whole churchyard.
‘Course you are boys,’ Dylan slapped them both on the back. ‘You’ve been ushering the hell out of everyone all day. Lou’s just kidding. Aren’t you Lou?’ He shot Lou a warning look, having already endured the horror of the full-on tantrum that had ensued at the mention of the word pageboy this morning.
Lou felt her dress being tugged and looked down to see Finlay had a firm hold of her skirt. He reached out his arms, looking up at her endearingly through his curly fringe. Once she’d given in and lifted him up, he pushed her face to his with his chubby hands.
‘Ushers,’ he said firmly, likely not having a clue what he meant but echoing his brothers anyway.
Lou pressed her lips together to stop herself laughing, and then buried her face into his soft neck, blowing raspberries till he was giggling uncontrollably. When she finally looked up she caught Dylan’s eye. His expression was so intense, and so out of character for him, that she quickly looked away in confusion.
Luckily at that point the photographer took over and they were all assembled into various combinations of family/wedding party. When the boys started wriggling and getting more and more grumpy, Dylan and Tom started flipping them upside-down shouting ‘Usher me now you nutters! Usher me!’ and when that hilarity wore off Katie started doing the robot from behind the cameraman, then gave him bunny ears which really brought forth the smiles they were after, causing Lou to clench her teeth. They were the perfect little double act.
*****
‘Could the maid of honour and her partner please take to the floor.’
Lou cringed and was about to bolt, but she caught sight of Frankie’s terrified face on the dance floor and knew she couldn’t do it. A big broad shadow moved into her line of vision and she sighed.
‘Let’s get this over with,’ she said, taking his outstretched hand and trying to ignore the familiar thrill that always shot through her when she touched him. She reluctantly looked up into his face and watched as his jaw clenched.
‘Lou, look,’ he said, pulling her up out of her seat and onto the dance floor. Tom’s parents and Sarah and Rob had all now been forced up there as well and Frankie was looking relieved. ‘I need to –‘
‘You know what Dylan,’ Lou cut him off. She was tired of everything being about what he needed. ‘If you don’t just shut up and dance with me I think I’m going to scream.’ Dylan opened his mouth to say something more, but snapped it shut when he saw the look in her eyes. She watched again as his jaw tensed so much that she could see the muscle ticking in the side of his face, before he sighed and pulled her stiff body into his.
‘Fine Lou,’ he whispered into her hair. ‘I just seem to keep buggering everything up when we talk anyway, so maybe this is better.’
And, just for the three minutes left of the slow song Frankie had chosen, Lou allowed herself to relax into him, letting the feel of his big arms closing around her wash away all of her hurt and resentment. Just these three minutes she thought to herself. I’ll give myself three minutes of this then…
‘Enough,’ she whispered into his chest, feeling hers constrict painfully.
‘What?’ Dylan asked, drawing slightly away to look down at her as the song came to a close.
‘I said enough now,’ she told him, cupping his face with one of her hands. ‘It’s been too long.’
‘I don’t understand,’ he said, his brows drawing together in confusion. Lou made a pathetic attempt at a smile and shook her head.
‘I know,’ she told him. ‘You never have.’ Before he could reply or even make an attempt to catch her arm, she had spun away and melted into the now crowded dance floor.
*****
‘Goddamn it.’ Dylan threw back another glass of champagne as he scanned the crowd again for her blonde head.
You’d think that with his height it would be a snap to locate one errant bridesmaid, but she’d managed to avoid him successfully for the last two hours. He’d hoped that after the interminably long meal and speeches he might finally have a chance to talk to her. That was why he made sure to bribe the lead singer of the band to call the maid of honour to the dance floor, and positioned himself to pounce as soon as the announcement was made. At least that would buy him a few minutes with her, although what he was going to say he didn’t know. But, then again, he was king of the chat. He could talk and charm his way out of anything.
It was with this supreme confidence that he pulled her into his arms. Even when she told him she didn’t want to talk he knew that he could get round that. He could get round anything if he put his mind to it. But when his hands wrapped around her bare back and he felt her body relax into his he lost all ability to think, let alone form a coherent sentence.
So now here he was, standing on tiptoes like some weird, huge, Welsh Meerkat; having no success in locating the one woman he wanted to talk to, whilst fending off hoards of women he didn’t.
He felt a light hand on his arm and was about to spin around, ready to give the brush off to another of Sarah and Tom’s horny cousins, but then heard Frankie’s soft voice.
‘Hey you. Having a good time?’
He turned to her, and felt his breath catch at how beautiful and happy she looked. Pregnancy suited her and being married seemed to suit her too. If anything she was more stunning with her dark hair slightly mussed and her cheeks bright with excitement after the copious amounts of dancing Tom had been making her do. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, kissing the top of her head.
‘Of course ladies,’ he said, pulling back to smile down at her. ‘The wets are free. The women are loose. I’m a happy man.’
She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment; Frankie was perceptive.
‘What’s going on with you and Lou?’ she asked suddenly, but before he could answer he felt a sharp pain in his foot. He looked down and saw a small ball of 5-year-old fury staring up at him.
‘Benji!’ Frankie cried in horror. ‘That was not kind.’
Benji rolled his eyes at Frankie dismissively. ‘We understand each other,’ he said, more like a middle-aged mafia boss than a kindergartener. He turned back to Dylan. ‘I thought you were going to look after my Lou.’
‘Benji, I – ‘
‘If you’re looking after her so well then why is she leaving?’
Dylan stood completely still for a moment. He felt like he’d been hit by a truck.
‘Leaving?’ he asked, his voice having taken on a hollow quality. ‘What are you talking about runt?’
‘She’s going away for ages,’ Benji whined, aiming another well-placed kick at Dylan, and this time connecting with his shin. ‘And we can’t even visit her because she’ll be in stupid,’ another kick caused Dylan to grunt and take a step back, ‘bloody’, another kick, ‘Africa.’
Dylan glanced at Frankie who shrugged, looking uncomfortable. ‘She only just told us all tonight,’ she explained. ‘I’m sure it won’t be for long. Some sort of sabbatical or something.’ Dylan could tell Frankie was trying to make light of it but he could see the sadness in her expression.
‘I don’t want her to go on a sabbamathmatical,’ Benji put in, glaring at Frankie. ‘Tell her you need her to stay Auntie Frankie. Tell her you need help to grow the baby in your tummy.’
Frankie knelt down in front of Benji, wrapping him in a tight hug, and Dylan could hear his loud sniffs as he lost his battle with tears. When he lifted his head from her neck he started furiously wiping his eyes and casting furtive glances at Dylan, obviously not keen to be labelled a crybaby.
‘It wouldn’t be right for me to tell her she can’t go Benji,’ Frankie said softly, smoothing his thick fringe back from his forehead. ‘And I’ve got you, and your Uncle, and everyone else to look after me. It’s selfish to try to make her stay.’
‘I’m bloody cross with you,
’ Benji said through his sniffs.
‘Benji,’ Frankie said in warning.
‘And I’m bloody, bloody cross with you too.’ Dylan just managed to sidestep that small foot again which seemed to infuriate Benji even more. Luckily Rob swooped in at that point and picked up a struggling red-faced Benji.
‘I’m not bloody tired,’ shouted Benji as he was carried with ease through the marquee.
Chapter 17
Knight in shining bloody armour
‘You okay?’ Lou looked up in surprise to see Rich approaching her where she stood just outside the marquee. She was still smiling after the torrent of bloodies she’d just heard as Rob had carried Benji up to the house. That kid was stubborn.
‘Not like you to hide from a good party.’
Lou shrugged, ‘I’m not hiding exactly…more like…pausing.’
‘Well you pause really well.’
‘Uh…thanks, I think.’ She paused well? What?
He was staring down at her chest now, and she was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She’d her hair let down from its confines when she thought the pins would start drawing blood earlier, and she pushed the heavy mass away from her face now as she straightened from her position leaning against the pillar of the marquee. Rich tracked the movement and stepped closer, He reached up his hand, picking up a few strands of her hair and rubbing it between his fingers.
‘Christ, I knew your hair would be soft but there’s soft and there’s fucking soft.’ Now that he was closer Lou could smell the alcohol on his breath and she took a nervous step back.
‘Um…Rich, I don’t think – ‘
‘I could help you, you know,’ he interrupted, moving to block her way. ‘I could put a word in for you with the committee.’
‘See, I don’t need – ‘
‘One word from me and this whole thing could go away.’ His voice had dropped lower and she could hear a slight slurring to his words. ‘We’ve been dancing around this for ages and I’m getting a bit fucking sick and tired.’ He moved right into her personal space now, caging her in with his hands resting either side of her shoulders on the marquee. She put her hands to his chest to push him away, but he seemed to take that as some sort of encouragement, moving his face so that his lips were a hair’s breadth from hers.
‘I don’t need your help,’ Lou said. ‘I mean…Rich, I thought you knew. I quit the rotation. I’m leaving, going to Africa actually. My brother – ‘
‘You what?’ All traces of the slurring she’d heard in his voice before were gone, his tone now hard and sharp. ‘What were you thinking?’
Lou was starting to feel more than a little intimidated, especially now he was shouting in her face. She couldn’t really understand his fury anyway. What was it to him if she left? Sure, they were friends and he’d been great throughout this whole thing and always supportive at work, but other than that they weren’t particularly close.
She shrugged, subtly inching her way down the side of the marquee to get away from him until he shot out an arm at the side of her head to block her escape. ‘I…um I wasn’t really in the mood to jump through all their hoops to be honest Rich, having worked my arse off for the last six years and then finding out that none of it counted when it really mattered.’
‘You stupid bitch.’
Lou’s eyes flew wide, she’d never heard Rich speak to anyone like this before, it was like he’d suddenly transformed into a different person. ‘You were supposed to come to me after the fucking RITA. I could have sorted it for you. Why do you have to be so bloody minded all the time, it’s like banging my head against a brick wall. What on earth are you doing swanning off to goddamn Africa anyway?’
Lou narrowed her eyes at him. Ignoring the rest of his rant she focused in on what was, to her, the most relevant part. ‘What do you mean by “supposed” Rich?’
Rich flinched, his angry face suddenly becoming blank and unreadable. Lou’s mind started whirling as she put the pieces together.
‘Oh my God,’ she breathed. ‘The report, it wasn’t from Miles was it? It was from you.’
‘I…’ Rich started looking uncomfortable and shifting from foot to foot where he stood.
Lou shook her head slowly. ‘But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you…?’ She trailed off and looked away for a moment, before her head whipped back round to glare at him. ‘You thought that if you were my knight in shining bloody armour that I’d just fall to the ground, legs akimbo didn’t you?’
Rich’s face had started flushing an angry shade of red again, other than a white ring around his lips which were tightened in fury, but Lou was too angry herself to read the warning signs.
‘I wouldn’t go out with you, so you thought you’d make it impossible for me to say no. Jesus, what sort of loser are you?’ she sneered.
It was then that she belatedly noticed Rich’s growing rage. She tried to dash around him but was too late. Both his large hands clamped around her upper arms, and he started shaking her so hard that her teeth rattled.
Lou wasn’t weak, but there were some things that caused her to disconnect from herself. She hadn’t been shaken since she was a child, but the viciousness and regularity of those episodes had been ingrained onto her psyche, and the fear of Rich’s violence rendered her limp and silent – not a natural state for Lou at all.
‘You snooty little bitch,’ he roared, continuing to snap her back and forth. ‘You think you’re so much better than everyone; strutting around the hospital like some sort of doctor-slash-stripper. Not caring who you piss off, not caring who you hurt. So what if I wanted to make you feel a little more human? Maybe make you a little bit grateful for once. Why shouldn’t I have a turn with the hospital slut? I can think of- ‘
One minute Rich had a death-grip on her and the next he was flying through the air. Lou immediately started rubbing her arms and leant heavily against the marquee. She watched in detached fascination as Dylan spun Rich around and punched him in the face.
‘Don’t you dare touch her,’ he roared down at a shocked Rich who scrambled to a sitting position, pushing himself backwards and holding up a hand to ward Dylan off. Dylan made another lunge at him but was held back by Ash and Tom before he could make it. Obviously feeling a bit safer now that Dylan was being physically restrained, Rich’s face turned hostile again.
‘What’s it to you, valleys’ boy?’ he sneered, pushing himself back up onto his feet. ‘You don’t want her, do you?’
A heavy silence followed that statement, during which both Lou’s and Dylan’s faces drained of all colour. Rich started laughing, turning to Lou and looking at her in disgust.
‘Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’re always panting after him. It’s pathetic. That hurt little look you’re always so quick to mask when he’s shagged yet another member of the multi-disciplinary team. He’s the only bloke who stands half a chance with you, and yet he’s pickled his onion with practically all the available women in South Wales but you.’
Dylan struggled forward again, and this time Ash and Tom didn’t make any move to stop him. He collided with Rich and they both went down on the ground, a flurry of fists and bodies. By the time sanity reigned again (only after both Katie and Rosie had appeared on the scene and started shouting for them to be pulled apart) Lou found herself shaking – actually physically shaking, her teeth chattering together and everything.
‘Lou? Babes?’ She could hear an urgent voice in front of her, but couldn’t seem to focus on who was speaking until a large warm hand rested on the side of her face, another on her shoulder. ‘Babes, look at me.’ She flinched when she realized how close Dylan’s face was to hers. He had a nasty looking bruise blossoming over his cheekbone and his eyes were a little wild. Her shaking gradually subsided and she started to come back to herself.
*****
‘Is she okay?’ Miles had emerged from the marquee at some point and was standing next to Dylan.
‘Bugger off Miles, I’m h
andling this,’ Dylan muttered, not taking his eyes off Lou. She might have stopped shaking but he didn’t like the fear he could still see written all over her tight features. He was angry with himself. He should have seen to Lou and beaten the crap out of that tosser later. Instead he’d forced her to witness yet more violence after being shaken around like a rag doll. Rich might deserve a kicking but Lou definitely didn’t deserve to have to witness it.
He also found the fact that they were now surrounded by concerned parties immensely annoying. If he had his way he would send them all packing and take Lou home himself. Maybe then they could finally sort out this mess. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel this hollow sensation in the pit of his stomach.
‘Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. You’re handling it are you?’ Miles sneered. The prick had perfected a particularly good sneer. ‘I didn’t realize that you being engulfed with the red mist and going all “Swansea” on Rich whilst Lou is virtually catatonic was that productive. My mistake.’
Lou’s eyes had now cut away from Dylan and sliced to Miles, and Dylan felt that loss like a punch in the stomach. He was losing her again and he found that he was tired of bloody losing her all the time. All he wanted was five minutes alone with her to explain.
‘Miles,’ she said, her voice steady but much quieter than normal. She put her hands up to Dylan’s forearms to pull them away. He found himself tightening his grip before he remembered that she had already been manhandled, so that might not be the best move at the moment. He let his hands drop with extreme reluctance and stepped back.
Lou didn’t even spare him a glance; she just stepped around him to Miles.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said to him and he blinked.
‘I misjudged you Miles and I’m sorry.’
‘Oh…right well…’ Miles was shifting uncomfortably in front of her, shoving his hands into his pockets. ‘Um…’
Rosie let out a huge sigh and shoved Miles from behind. ‘For Christ’s sake Miles, stop being such an emotional cripple. Accept the apology.’
‘Oh yes, right well of course. Don’t worry about it.’