Lullaby (A Watersong Novel)

by Amanda Hocking

  “What, Mom?” Harper asked gently.

  “This isn’t right,” Nathalie insisted. She paced her room, which was hard to do, since she’d thrown everything around in the room.

  The staff had informed Harper that Nathalie had done it yesterday during some kind of tantrum. Her clothes and stuffed animals were all over the floor, along with her stereo and her beloved Justin Bieber CDs.

  The policy here was that if Nathalie made a mess, she had to be the one to clean it up. She struggled with responsibility, and the staff were trying to make her understand the consequences of her actions. If her stuff got broken because she threw it on the floor, then she had to deal with it.

  “Mom, everything’s fine,” Harper lied. “Gemma’s fine. She’s just at a swim meet.”

  Telling the truth wouldn’t do her mother any good, at least not right now. And Harper just wanted to get her calmed down before she hurt herself.

  “No, she’s not!” Nathalie insisted. “I’m her mother. I’m supposed to protect her. She told me where she was going, but I can’t remember where.”

  “What?” Harper asked, and her heart stopped beating for a second. “Gemma told you where she was going?”

  “She told me when she came before, and I can’t remember.” Nathalie hit herself in the head, rather hard by the sound of it. “My stupid brain doesn’t work!”

  “Mom, don’t hit yourself.” Harper went over to her mother and gently touched her arm to prevent her from hitting herself again.

  “I should know this, Harper!” Nathalie wriggled away from her. In her attempt to escape, she tripped over a tennis shoe on the floor and fell.

  Harper bent to help her up, but Nathalie swatted at her, pushing her away.

  “Mom, please,” Harper said, crouching down next to her. “Let me help you.”

  “If you want to help me, tell me where Gemma is,” Nathalie said. “I’ve lost her.” She started crying then, heavy tears falling down her cheeks. “I can’t find her. Something’s happened to my baby, and I don’t know where she is.”

  Harper wrapped her arms around her mother, holding her as she sobbed. She stroked her hair, and all the while Nathalie kept repeating over and over that she’d lost her baby.

  Her mother cried for a long time, and when she finally stopped, she seemed exhausted. Harper helped her into bed, and Nathalie passed out almost immediately.

  When Harper left the room, she closed the door quietly behind her so as not to wake her mother. Becky was in the kitchen, setting the table for lunch, and she gave Harper a knowing smile when she saw how weary Harper looked.

  “She’s sleeping now,” Harper said.

  “Good,” Becky said. “Maybe she’ll be in a better mood when she wakes up.”

  “I hope so,” Harper said. “And I’m sorry about all that.”

  It wasn’t her fault that Nathalie acted out and got out of control sometimes. Deep down, Harper knew that. But she still felt responsible for all of her mother’s bad behaviors. Whenever the family would get word about Nathalie treating the staff badly or breaking things, Harper would instantly feel guilty, like she should somehow be able to make her mother act better.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Becky waved off the idea of guilt. “She’s been having a rough week anyway.”

  “What do you mean?” Harper asked.

  “She’s been asking about your sister a lot, which is strange because she doesn’t ask about either of you all that often,” Becky said, then instantly looked apologetic. “I know she loves you both very much. It just doesn’t occur to her to ask about you.”

  “No, I understand,” Harper said. “What exactly has she been asking about Gemma?”

  “Mostly just where is she and when is she coming to visit,” Becky said. “I kept telling her that Gemma would be here today, and I was really hoping that when she came today, it would calm Nathalie down.”

  “Sorry. I should’ve called and told you, I guess,” Harper said. “But Gemma’s not … Gemma ran away.”

  “Oh?” Becky’s eyes widened with concern.

  “Yeah, she left earlier this week, but we hadn’t planned on telling my mom,” Harper said. “At least not yet. I didn’t want to worry her.”

  “Of course, I understand.” Becky nodded. “But, gosh, that’s so weird. It’s like Nathalie knew that Gemma was missing.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Harper agreed. “I was wondering if maybe Gemma said something to her when she visited last Sunday? Did my mom say anything about where Gemma might be going?”

  Last week, they’d skipped their Saturday visit, because Gemma had been comforting Alex over his friend Luke’s death. Harper and Gemma had gone out to see their mom on Sunday instead, and Harper had planned on going in with her, but Gemma asked to visit Nathalie alone.

  “No, sorry,” Becky said sadly. “The only thing your mom said after Gemma visited was that she was going to live with mermaids, and we didn’t put much stock in that. Maybe it means something to you?”

  “Um, no.” Harper shook her head. She couldn’t very well tell her mother’s assisted living staff that Gemma had turned into a siren.

  “Sorry,” Becky said again. “Wish I could be of more help.”

  “No, you’re plenty of help, thanks.” Harper smiled faintly at her. “I’ll see you next week, then.”

  Harper wasn’t surprised that Gemma had told their mother about what she’d planned on doing. Nathalie would’ve been the only person who wouldn’t think she was insane or try to stop her from doing something stupid.

  As hard as it had been seeing her mother act the way she had today, there was actually something sweet about it. Nathalie couldn’t remember what Gemma had said, but it had gotten through to her that her daughter was in trouble. All week she’d been worrying about her.

  Harper didn’t want her mother to be upset, but she wasn’t always sure that Nathalie still loved them. Her mother had a severe traumatic brain injury, and when it came to love, everyone always told her that Nathalie loved them “in her own way” and “as best as she could.”

  And Harper accepted that. She just didn’t know exactly what that meant, but today it became a lot clearer.

  She left feeling even more drained than she normally did after visiting Nathalie. Along the drive home her eyes blurred with tears, and she had to blink them back so she could see the road.

  When she finally got home, she noticed her father’s truck was gone, so he was presumably still at the lawyer’s. Harper pulled in the driveway behind Gemma’s beat-up Chevy. It hadn’t moved since it had died on Gemma, and now she wondered dimly if her sister would ever drive it again.

  Harper shook her head, trying to clear it from that kind of thinking, and she knew she couldn’t spend the afternoon alone in the house.

  She got out of the car and was headed toward Alex’s house when she spotted him in the backyard. Dark clouds were gathering overhead, looking almost black on the horizon, and Alex was staring up at them.

  This wasn’t the first time Harper had caught Alex gazing up at the sky. He’d always been fascinated by the weather and the stars. In recent years, his fascination had turned into career aspirations.

  He’d even started working with storm chasers this past spring, tracking thunderstorms, tornadoes, and even hurricanes, which Harper was actually surprised to learn. She’d always thought that Alex would prefer analyzing things from the comfort of his home, but apparently he didn’t mind danger as long as he was passionate about what he was chasing.

  “What are you doing?” Harper asked when she walked up behind him.

  “Oh, hey.” Alex turned around, looking surprised to see her, and gave her a half smile. A gust of wind came up, blowing his hair back. “I didn’t see you there.”

  “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” she said. “I just came to see what you were up to this afternoon.”

  Alex shrugged. “Not a whole lot.”

  “It seems like a storm is coming,” Harper sai
d, hugging her arms to her chest to shield herself from the chill of the wind.

  “Yeah, but the worst is going to be farther west.” He pointed to the line of clouds. “We’ll get rain and wind, but I’m thinking there might be hail farther inland.”

  “Are you gonna go out and chase it, or whatever it is you do?” Harper asked.

  “Nah.” He shook his head. “Some of the people I’ve gone with before are out. They think there might even be a tornado, but I don’t think it’s likely.”

  “So why aren’t you with them?” Harper asked. “I know you love that kinda thing.”

  “I do,” he agreed. “It just doesn’t feel right. Not with Gemma still being gone.”

  “Oh.” She let out a deep breath. “Have you heard anything new on that?”

  “Not really,” he said, then corrected himself. “Nothing useful, anyway.”

  “That sucks.”

  “I went to the police today,” Alex admitted, sounding sheepish about it.

  “Did you really?” Harper asked. “What for?”

  “I just wanted to know what they were doing to find Gemma.”

  “What are they doing?” Harper asked.

  “Not a whole lot,” Alex said. “I mean, I can’t really blame them. They’re still looking into the murders of Luke and those other boys, and Gemma just ran away from home. She’s not exactly their top priority.”

  “Yeah.” Harper hadn’t really expected any different, but she’d hoped for more than that. “Do they have any leads on the murders?”

  “I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “They asked me a couple more questions about Luke, but I didn’t tell them anything.” He paused for a minute, thinking. “The sirens killed him and the others, right?”

  Harper hesitated before answering him, then nodded. “Yes, they did.”

  “But I can’t tell the cops that.” Alex sounded exasperated. “They’d think I was crazy, and if they didn’t, they’d think Gemma was involved. And she wasn’t.”

  Harper swallowed hard when Alex said that, but she didn’t respond. Not for the first time, she wondered exactly what Gemma’s involvement with the sirens was.

  “You should go, then,” Harper said.

  “What?” Alex turned to look at her, confused.

  “If there’s nothing new on Gemma, you should go,” Harper told him. “I’m home, so I’ll be here if she gets back. There’s nothing more you can do. You can’t sit cooped in your house all the time, waiting for her to come back. You need to do something.”

  He hesitated before asking, “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “Go on. Go track your storm. Have fun. I’ll be here.”

  “You’re right.” He gave her a small smile. “I’ll have my cell phone if you need me.”

  He hurried back in the house to gather his things, and it was almost as if he’d been waiting for permission. Harper knew he cared about Gemma a lot and didn’t want to do anything to betray her, but he couldn’t stop living just because she was missing.

  Thunder boomed in the distance, and Harper watched the approaching storm. She thought back to what Alex had said about the sirens, and she couldn’t shake her new fears.

  She didn’t believe that Gemma had hurt anybody. At least not yet. But if the sirens were monsters, how long would it be before her sister acted like a monster, too?

  TWELVE

  Compulsion

  “Today is the first day of the rest of my life,” Gemma told her reflection. It was her attempt at a pep talk, but it wasn’t that effective.

  What Penn had said to her the other day had finally gotten through to her. Gemma had made a choice to be with the sirens, and since they were immortal, it was a very long commitment. She couldn’t spend the rest of eternity moping because this wasn’t what she’d wanted. She’d been living with them for nearly a week, and that was enough sulking.

  Admittedly, she’d had to leave behind everything she cared about, her friends, family, boyfriend, and the swimming career she’d worked so hard for. Those were plenty of reasons to be heartbroken, but she’d given herself time to grieve. Now it was time to make the best of things.

  Since she’d started swimming every day, she felt much better. Not great, but better. She was no longer nauseated, which made the hunger more intense, but she was managing it so far.

  Thea had told her that Aggie had been kind, and Thea herself didn’t seem so bad. That meant that while being a siren might not be a choice, being evil was. So Gemma would simply choose not to be evil, and try to make the best of everything else this life had to offer.

  She woke up determined to have a new attitude about the whole thing. She got up, showered, got dressed, and went downstairs to see what the sirens were up to for the day.

  Gemma found all three of them and Sawyer in the living room watching Splash on the giant flat-screen. Thea was sprawled out on her belly with her chin propped up on her hands, while Lexi and Penn were sitting on the white sofa with Sawyer between them.

  Lexi kept laughing at what was happening on-screen, but Gemma couldn’t tell if it was because she thought the movie was funny or because of the way mermaids were portrayed.

  “Hey, guys,” Gemma said.

  Penn turned to her. Her eyes were as dark and sinister as ever, but a seductive smile played on her lips. “Look, girls, it’s alive!”

  Sawyer looked confused for a minute, but when Lexi laughed, he joined in.

  “Since you slept all morning, Penn thought you might be dead,” Lexi explained with a giggle.

  “Well … I’m not.”

  “What do you need?” Penn propped her elbow on the back of the couch so she could face her.

  “Nothing.” Gemma tried to smile widely. “I just wanted to see what you were up to today.”

  Penn narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

  “I wanted to see if maybe I could join you,” Gemma said.

  Thea turned to look at her for the first time, and for a few moments all three of the sirens just stared at her. Sawyer was too busy watching the movie to notice.

  “We’re just watching a movie,” Lexi said finally, breaking the staring contest. “That’s probably what we’re going to do all day, if you want to hang out with us.”

  “Sure, that sounds fun.”

  Gemma planned on sitting on the other couch in the room, but Lexi scooted over, sliding up right next to Sawyer. He’d been sitting closer to Penn with his hand on her thigh, but when Lexi moved over, he smiled and slid his arm around her.

  “Here you go.” Lexi tapped the empty spot on the couch. “You can sit by me, Gemma.”

  “There’s not enough room,” Penn said, and glared at Lexi.

  “Penn, there’s plenty of room.” Lexi gestured to the spot next to her, and really there was more than enough room for Gemma. In fact, Lexi hadn’t even needed to slide over, and there would’ve been room for her.

  “No, there’s not,” Penn growled.

  “Fine.” Lexi sighed and turned back to Gemma. “Sorry, I guess—”

  “No, Lexi, there’s no room for you,” Penn corrected her.

  Lexi’s head snapped back around so she could look at Penn. “What?”

  “You know, I’m fine sitting over here,” Gemma interjected as she edged back to the empty couch on the other side of the room. “I can see the TV great from here.”

  “Sit on the floor, Lexi,” Penn commanded, ignoring Gemma.

  “Penn,” Lexi tried to protest, but Penn just kept glaring at her. “Whatever.” Lexi rolled her eyes, then got up and flopped down on the floor next to Thea.

  With Lexi banished to the floor, Penn smiled sweetly up at Gemma. “Why don’t you sit with us on the couch?”

  “Uh, sure?” Gemma sat down tentatively on the couch, careful to put as much room between her and Sawyer as she could manage.

  Truthfully, she didn’t care where she sat. But this was obviously some sort of power play on Penn’s part, and she didn’t want to ge
t caught in the middle of it. Especially not when she’d just decided to make the best of the situation. She didn’t want to start by pissing off Penn or Lexi.

  “Oh, my god.” Sawyer laughed and pointed to the TV. “She thinks the video cameras are trapping her in the box. That’s so funny.”

  Eventually, in large part to Sawyer’s oblivious commentary on the movie, the tension in the room seemed to ease. Gemma settled into the couch, and she ended up kind of enjoying the movie. She’d never seen it before, and it had its moments.

  The funniest parts probably were Sawyer’s reactions. Most of the time, when Thea, Lexi, and Gemma were laughing, it was at something he’d said. Penn never laughed once, though.

  Every now and then Gemma would glance over to see Penn’s eyes fixed blankly on the screen. Despite that, Gemma couldn’t shake the feeling that Penn was watching her out of the corner of her eye, making sure that Gemma was behaving herself.

  After the movie ended, the girls argued about what movie to watch next, and finally Lexi put in Mannequin.

  Gemma started to relax then. So what if Penn was watching her? It wasn’t like she was doing anything wrong. She was watching a movie, same as everybody else.

  Seemingly out of the blue, Gemma’s hunger flared up. The ravenous one that seemed to radiate from her belly all the way through her. She bit her lip and struggled to swallow the feeling down.

  Then Sawyer laughed, and Gemma turned to look at him. But it was almost as if she’d never seen him before. He had to be the most attractive person she’d ever seen. His smooth tanned skin, the hard contours of his chest, the strong line of his jaw, even the way his blond hair just touched the nape of his neck.

  Her whole body tingled as intense heat spread through her. A kind of primal lust that started in her belly traveled down her thighs.

  Gemma wanted nothing more in the world than to touch him and kiss him and taste him. Her hands trembled at the thought of it, and she licked her lips.

  “You okay, Gemma?” Penn asked, barely breaking the trance that Gemma was under.