Rocked

by M. L. Young

  The only problem was that I didn’t know how to act with a woman like Bianca. She was fierce, and intelligent, and she knew what she wanted and how to get it. She was a bit intimidating, though I knew I could handle her if need be. The only issue was getting her to even agree to a second date, let alone talk to me.

  I picked up my phone and navigated to our message thread. It had been blank since last night, with only the previous short replies to one another from before. “What should I even say?” I asked aloud in a hushed tone.

  “I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I know it’s no excuse, but maybe the kind of women I’ve dated before have polluted my mind into thinking all women are like them. You aren’t, though, that’s for damn sure, and I’d like another shot to make things right.”

  I sent the text and turned my phone face down on my table before going to make a late breakfast. I kept my ears open, a little more alert and nervous than usual, and wondered if she’d even respond. I wouldn’t if I were her, but hopefully she was better than me. I knew I wouldn’t get her out of my head anytime soon unless she did.

  The minutes turned into hours, which felt like days, as my own day went on and the nervousness began to flee while I became busy with the business of being a rock star. I had to deal with contracts, appearance and talk show requests, and everything else that made my head spin. Still, I waited, with no reply, as darkness clouded my home and the lights turned on outside. Nothing. It was pure static on her end.

  I picked up my guitar, playing a few strings to keep my fingers nimble and make sure my mind held onto the notes for the upcoming leg of the tour. Then my phone buzzed on my desk.

  I set down my guitar and picked it up, seeing her name on the screen. My stomach tingled, butterfly-like, before I unlocked the phone and read her reply.

  “I’ve thought about this a lot today, and whether I wanted to even give you another shot. I’m pissed still, that’s for certain, but maybe you’re right. Maybe we got off on a bad foot but can salvage something from all of this. I’ll go out with you again, but you’ll only get one last shot. I hope you don’t blow it.”

  Relieved, I smiled, knowing that I could’ve so easily lost out on the opportunity to get to know her. With that relief came nerves, though, because I had no idea what I was going to do to impress her again. Diamonds and money wouldn’t do the job. I had to think outside of the box.

  Chapter Seven

  Bianca

  “Do you have your reusable bags?”

  I swear I’d say that line a thousand times whenever I worked. Even though I didn’t have my big-girl job for after graduation, I still had to work to pay for what my financial aid wouldn’t cover. For me, that meant working in a grocery store not too far from my place. It was one of those all organic, non-GMO hipster grocery stores that had vegan cheeses and hand-picked free trade chestnuts. It was bad.

  I worked as a cashier, not exactly a glamorous job, though it did pay marginally more than other jobs I’d interviewed for a year ago when I got it. Twelve bucks an hour was pretty damn high for a cashier, even in southern California, and it did get me by, even if some nights I had to eat rice and black beans to save money.

  I peered at the clock, only half an hour left. My feet felt were blistering. The incessant beeping of the barcode scanners echoed in my head even long after I left. Not too much longer before I could escape and work a job that I actually wanted to do.

  After helping a woman with a plasticized face and peroxide blonde hair, my replacement tapped me on the shoulder, ready to start her shift. Her expression already looked devoid of any happiness or soul. I was sure the Grim Reaper was near.

  I always snuck out of work, punching my time card and avoiding my boss like he carried the plague and I was humanity’s last hope to not get infected. He was something else—you know, the kind where they think you’re best buds and that you’ll do anything to support them and help them out. That usually involved being asked to work extra hours, either when I was about to get off work or even agreeing to extra days later on because of how busy this place got.

  I went full Mission: Impossible, though, and acted like Tom Cruise sneaking out of a sticky situation. I saw my boss talking to somebody else, an assistant manager, while I grabbed my purse and jacket. I nodded to a coworker, one I liked, and walked out of the room like a cat about to lose its ninth life. When I was in the doorway, about to be free, I heard my name.

  “Bianca!” I heard, causing me to shiver and stop in my tracks.

  “Hey, Tom,” I said, turning around with a smile.

  “Hey, we’re getting pretty slammed here, would you mind working a few extra hours?” he asked, his sweat-stained pits visible every time I saw him.

  “Ah, I can’t tonight, Tom. My roommate actually has the flu, and she’s not doing too well. She was talking earlier about going to the hospital if it doesn’t clear up,” I said.

  “Oh, that’s too bad. She can’t have somebody else take her?” he asked.

  “No, I’m the only one she trusts, I guess. Her family doesn’t live here, and she doesn’t have many other friends to take her. She’s actually quite the hermit. I’m sorry I can’t help,” I said, lying through my teeth like some kind of Machiavellian princess.

  “Well gosh, I hope she gets better soon. Have a good night,” he said, patting my shoulder before walking off.

  I shuddered, seeing the imaginary cooties as if I were four and a boy had just touched me. I didn’t wipe them off, though—too many people around—and decided to high-tail it for the front door before things went even further south for me.

  •••

  “You’ll never guess what happened to me today,” Regan said after I walked in the door.

  “You found a buffalo nickel on the ground,” I said.

  “W-what?” she asked. “Nevermind, I’ll tell you. I got a match on RandomMeetX,” she squealed. She never got matches, mainly because she was too picky and didn’t swipe right on every single guy who popped up on there like some of our friends.

  “That’s awesome, Reg, have you talked to him yet?”

  “Well, no, he never messaged me, but I’m thinking of starting the conversation,” she said.

  “Go for it. It’s 2017, you don’t need to wait for a man to initiate. Find something on his profile and go from there.”

  “Well, that’s the thing. He has nothing on his profile, at least nothing noteworthy, and quite honestly I haven’t a clue what to say,” she said.

  “Well, make something up, then. Most men are happy to even get a match from a pretty girl, so I’m sure you could say just about anything and you’ll be good.”

  “You should really join this app. It’s pretty great,” she said, pulling out her phone.

  “I’d rather not, given that I don’t feel like waking up in a bathtub of ice or as the subject of some crime show where they find me five years later locked up in a dungeon like on Law and Order,” I said with a laugh.

  “Well, you aren’t seeing Kai again, right? You need to get back out there.”

  “We’re…complicated. He asked me yesterday for another chance and I kind of gave him one. We haven’t set up a date yet, but I figured it’s worth a shot,” I said.

  “What? You were totally against ever seeing him again.”

  “I know! I guess he just intrigues me, and I want to know more. It’s not every day you get a chance like this, and the Freudian side of me wants to see what’s going on in his head,” I said.

  “Well, just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt,” she said.

  “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t plan on catching feelings for a guy like him,” I said confidently.

  As if my apartment was bugged, my phone buzzed and Kai’s name came up on the screen. “Wow, that’s him. I wonder if he knows we were talking about him.”

  “What did he say?” Regan asked.

  “He asked if he can take me out tonight,” I said, with my eyebrows scrunched up.
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  “Well, you might as well. It’s only five, and you have the entire night ahead of you,” she said.

  “I just—I don’t know if it’s a great idea,” I said.

  “Listen, you wanted another shot with him, you took him back, so go see him and don’t draw it out. If he’s a crap guy, then find out sooner rather than later. Don’t waste your time,” she said.

  “I hate when you of all people are the voice of reason,” I joked.

  “Hey, I’m the best you got,” she said, pointing at me with a spoon while holding a jar of peanut butter in her other hand.

  “Sure, we can do that. Ideas?” I asked.

  “Leave it all to me. Just be ready by seven,” he replied.

  I looked at myself in the mirror before glancing back at the clock and letting out a huff. I guess I’d better get started.

  •••

  I told Kai I would just come outside instead of him having to come to the door. I didn’t want Regan making a fool out of herself or me, and it was just easier all around. He was in a different car this time, an SUV, which was more my speed, even if it still was a luxury brand.

  “Good to see you again,” he said as I got into the passenger seat.

  He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, catching me off-guard. “What do you have planned for tonight?” I asked coolly, not paying attention to the kiss.

  “Well, I thought we should do something a little less fancy and a little more real, if you’re down,” he said.

  “I think that’s more my speed. What is it?” I asked.

  “You’ll see,” he said with a smile.

  I tried to analyze where we were and where we were going the entire drive. Every time I thought I knew where we were, Kai would turn and we’d go in a different direction. Where in the hell could we be going? Nothing gave me any clues.

  After about forty minutes, a normal-length trip in Los Angeles, we arrived at our destination. “This is it,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

  “Where are we?” I asked.

  “This is a little place I like to come when I need inspiration, or when I’m happy, or even sad. This is my special place, so to speak. I thought we could have a picnic and just talk,” he said, getting out of the car.

  He came around to my side, opening my door and helping me out, which I didn’t need but very much appreciated. I could tell he was being different, maybe more himself, the true Kai Jackson, and not the person he thought he should be. The area was beautiful, even if it was dark, and the downtown lights twinkled far off in the distance. There were trees down below, the shallow nature of our sandy shoulder not quite large enough to support more than a few bushes.

  There was a bench on the side of the road in front of a guardrail. Kai even unfolded a small table he brought in front of us so that we could eat comfortably. He handed me the picnic basket and I opened it, smelling a menagerie of Indian delights that made me salivate. “I hope you like Tandoori,” he said.

  “I love Indian food. I wish I could visit there one day,” I said, grabbing the naan.

  “Oh, really? It’s a beautiful place,” he said.

  “You’ve been?”

  “Once, but not for too long. We were there for a press junket, and we only had a day, so I’ve been there, but I haven’t really been there,” he said.

  “Still, I’d feel so happy if I even had a day there. One day, I hope,” I said.

  •••

  “What’s your greatest goal in life?” Kai asked, as the night wore on.

  “Mm, I would say to open a children’s center somewhere,” I replied.

  “What’s that?” he asked, his eyebrows strengthening, as if he were genuinely intrigued.

  “Like a center where kids can go to be safe. We would offer social work services, adoption and fostering services, after-school stuff—basically anything and everything to empower, enrich, and help underprivileged children in the community,” I said, using more hand expressions than were reasonable.

  “Wow, that’s—that’s very admirable. It blows what I do out of the water,” he said, his eyebrows up in astonishment.

  “Don’t discount yourself. You play good music, and you do bring a lot of joy and everything to people. Music can do a lot for people, you know,” I said.

  “Sometimes I feel like it doesn’t. I’d like to do more, like philanthropy work. I love playing music and singing, and I’m so grateful for all of that, but it’s not what I want to be remembered for one day,” he said.

  “Really? It seems like it would be the thing you’d want to be remembered for. To have people listen to your music for decades,” I said.

  “Yeah, that’s great and I hope we have that kind of legend status one day, but I want to help people. I didn’t have the greatest childhood, and quite honestly I think I would’ve benefited from a children’s center like you want to open. To be able to help people like that, instead of having some vain career, would be amazing. I’m just not sure how to get started with all of that,” he said.

  “You just have to get started small, maybe with some children’s charities or even something like a homeless shelter. Make those differences,” I said.

  I had a really hard time not asking about his past. Did I dare ask him about it? He kind of brought it up, but that wasn’t cause for pestering him, a man I barely knew. I was too nosey for my own good sometimes.

  “If you don’t mind me asking—you know what, nevermind. Forget I said that,” I said.

  “No, ask what you were going to ask. I’m not afraid to answer,” he said.

  “You said you could’ve benefited from a center. Why?” I asked bluntly.

  “My childhood wasn’t the best. My father was a raging alcoholic, sometimes a beater, even though he sort of got over most of it, though I suppose the damage had already been done. My mother loved me a lot, I know she did, but she just wasn’t always the best mother, mainly because of how my dad treated her. She tried her best, but she was broken. I think she only stayed with him because of me. She knew she couldn’t, and wouldn’t, make it on her own,” he said.

  “Wow—I’m sorry to hear that,” I said.

  “Don’t be, it’s in the past. My father has been in a home for a while now, about seven months I’d say,” he said.

  “Is he okay?” I asked.

  “He isn’t great, but then again he hasn’t been great for years. I reconciled with him about five years ago, we made up, and right now he’s the only family I have. Both of my parents were only children, and their parents, my grandparents, are obviously gone by this point, and I never had any siblings. I think that’s why I’ve been holding onto him, even though he wasn’t the best to me. I know that once he’s gone, it’s all over,” he said, sniffling a little.

  He was looking downwards, refusing to make eye contact with me even though we had been the entire night. I could feel Kai’s pain almost a little too well. The girl who ran to the water tower whenever things got rough would definitely have been better if this boy were there as well. We had similarities, and they were bringing us together. I was glad that Kai and I had this second date. He was different than I originally thought. I guess you couldn’t always judge a book by its cover.

  As I looked at him and saw his pain, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. I didn’t pity him, no way, but the things he went through as a child had stuck with him, just like they had with me. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and wrapped my arm in his. I didn’t know why I did it, but it just felt right. He looked over at me, smiled a little, and we went on with the rest of the date.

  •••

  To keep his identity secret, I ran into an ice cream shop later that night and got us two waffle cones with one scoop of chocolate ice cream each. “Do you think anybody noticed me?” he asked after I got back into the car.

  We were sitting in a small parking lot, with mostly a bunch of teenagers and young adults my age around, but nobody seemed
the wiser. Nightfall had provided him the stealth he needed to be a ghost, and a big black SUV with tinted windows definitely helped with his cover. “You’re fine,” I replied.

  “So, are you glad?” he asked, looking over at me before taking a big lick of his ice cream.

  “About what?” I asked.

  “Giving me another shot to show you I’m not some asshole,” he said.

  “Oh, you’re still an asshole, just not as big of one as I thought before,” I said, smiling.

  He looked at me, shocked, almost a little gutted, and I had to interject to save his feelings. “I’m kidding! I think you’re a nice person, Kai. You proved me wrong,” I said.

  “Why did you give me another shot?”

  “I wondered about your potential. Maybe you were right, maybe you were just acting a certain way or thought I wanted you to act a certain way. I guess I saw a tinge of goodness inside you that I wanted to explore more,” I said.

  “Yeah, I think that shred of happiness and kindness is there, even if I don’t always put it on full display,” he said with a smile. “Talking to you makes me a better person.”

  He went back to licking his cone, not realizing the impact his statement had on me. I looked at him while he gazed at the horizon, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of happiness. It was a nice thing to say, maybe the nicest thing a person could say to another person, that their company and presence makes them better. All I’d ever wanted was to be a good person, a person unlike those I grew up with, and now I felt validated. Giving Kai a shot seemed like the best thing right now.

  “Listen, you can feel free to say no to this, I won’t even be a little bit mad, but do you want to come over? No strings or anything, and I’m not trying to get into your pants, but I just like where this night has gone and I don’t really want to take you home just yet,” he said.

  It was a ballsy move, asking a girl back to his place on the second date, though I supposed this was more like a first date in many ways. I looked him square in the eyes, feeling his sincerity and truthfulness about not trying to get me in the sack. I did like talking to him, his insight was tremendous, but going to a guy’s house so soon could set a dangerous precedent down the road. Still, I was intrigued, almost to the point of danger, and I didn’t want to let this night end so soon either.