Falling For The Bad Boy

by Glenna Maynard

  “You really don’t see it, do you? Katie, everything you need to know has been staring you in the face for months. Kai and Raven share a connection. One you’ll never be able to touch,” Kirk whispers in my ear as Kai watches us with a horrified expression masked over his face.

  I don’t know why I never thought of this before…I look at Khloe and my face pales as I remember the stories Penny told me about Raven, she gave her baby up for adoption. I count back in my head. Oh my God. Is Khloe…Kai and Raven’s kid? I feel sick. Is that what he meant by complicated?

  I can’t breathe.

  I need air.

  He senses my fight or flight expression. “Kat,” he says my name with the realization that I am onto his secret hitting him. I put Khloe down, and wait for Kai to stop looking at me. He looks about to crumble into a million pieces.

  I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this with him right now.

  I feel frozen and unable to speak. I shake my head no at him.

  His face falls. A lone tear trickles down his cheek.

  Kirk grins and takes Khloe from the room.

  “Is Khloe your kid?” I ask the question that I never thought I would be asking. Anger is flowing through my blood. I am drowning in a deep sea of red. The thread that connects me to Kai is unraveling.

  Raven smiles at me and winks. “Let your mom know I have changed my mind. If you break up with, Katie—I might change it again, Kai.” She struts out the back door, holding her head high, proud that she just sliced my soul in half.

  Kai’s face is pale, and he looks like he can’t breathe. He looks the way I feel. My world is crashing down.

  “God, Kai. You must think I am so dumb – I would have kept your secret.”

  Penny grabs my hand, and I jerk back from her. I don’t want anyone to touch me right now. My skin is crawling.

  “Katie, it wasn’t like that. Please. You have to understand…,” he pleads. I don’t have to do anything.

  “You lied to me, Kai—your whole family lied to me for months. I bet you and Raven sit around and laugh behind my back, while I take care of your kid. I’m done. I hope you find what you are looking for in LA.” I start to move away from the counter.

  Kai steps in front of me. “Kat, don’t leave me. Please, baby. I don’t need to look for anything. I just need you by my side.” He is down on his knees, begging me, and I cannot bear to look at him right now. Tears are trickling down his beautiful face and it kills me to see him in so much pain, but I am hurting too.

  My fingers brush through his hair, aching to soothe him. He is hugging my waist, clinging to me. I keep hearing his lies playing on a loop in my head. I can’t just let this slide. Kai is breaking my heart. I don’t think I can get over this.

  His mom comes in wanting to know why Khloe is crying and saying everyone is fighting.

  “Raven wants Khloe back—if I don’t break up with Katie,” Kai admits, his voice cracking.

  “Over my dead body,” Kelli screeches. She storms off, going after Raven I can only assume.

  “Kat, baby, I can explain. I just I have to take care of this with Raven first. If she goes to the press, it could ruin everything. I don’t want lose you, but I have to protect Khloe.” His arms fall to his sides when he sees I am like a statue and no longer receptive to his touch.

  “Go, Kai,” I tell him, knowing that I will be gone when he comes back.

  He kisses my cheek, and I die a little on the inside knowing it is the last time I will ever feel his lips on me.

  Gasping for the air I so desperately need, I run to the bathroom and throw up violently as Penny holds my hair.

  “I knew she was a conniving bitch,” Penny rambles, going on and on about how she was right.

  “You aren’t going to let her stand between you and Kai, are you, Katie?” She reaches me a damp cloth as I lie in the floor wanting to die.

  I have been watching Khloe for months. Kai has had every opportunity to tell me the truth and yet he continued to say nothing. ‘Khloe is my little sister.’ God. It all makes sense…why he would randomly take Khloe to The Grind, so Raven could give her a cookie. ‘It’s complicated.’

  “Well, are you, Katie? Are you just going to give up on Kai because he kept one secret?”

  “That’s a pretty damn big secret, Penny. I won’t be with someone who can’t be honest with me. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.” I wipe at my tears and blow my nose.

  Grabbing my bags, I start shoving my clothes inside. Penny sits on my bed watching and questioning me. “You aren’t even going to hear his reason why? Aren’t you at least curious?”

  “Stop talking, Penny,” I snap at her.

  “Why because you can’t handle the truth? There is a little girl out there who thinks you hung the moon, and today is her birthday, and her world may be about to be turned inside out. You are being a selfish brat, Katie Francis.”

  I stop packing and think about what she is saying. I throw myself backwards onto my bed. “I just…he lied to me, they all lied to me. Besides, Kai is going to be touring and recording, he doesn’t have time for me as it is. It’s too much, Penny. I just graduated today. This isn’t the kind of problems most eighteen year olds go through. I won’t be the girl that ruins his chance at making it big. And I will not be the reason Khloe gets her life as she knows it to be screwed up.”

  “Does Kai being Khloe’s dad change the way you feel about him?”

  “I’d like to hear the answer to that?” Kai says from my doorway looking ravaged.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow okay?” Penny gives me a small hug and I nod.

  She squeezes Kai’s shoulder as she passes by him. He still hasn’t come all the way in my door.

  “Are you leaving?” He stares at my half-packed bags lying on the floor. His hands are balled up into tightly clenched fists.

  “You lied to me, Kai. Would you have ever told me?”

  “I wanted to so many times. You have to know that it wasn’t about hurting you…I was protecting Khloe.” He takes a deep breath, and I can tell he is trying to hold back his tears.

  “From what, Kai? You know what I think? You didn’t want your dirty little secret getting out to the press.” That was mean, but I can’t help it. I am so hurt right now.

  He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t stop me as I continue shoving my clothes in my bags.

  “I have a flight in five hours, Kat. I won’t get on that plane if you tell me to stay.” He sounds as desperate as I feel.

  “Get on the plane, Kai. I hope you top the charts with your single.” I wish I didn’t feel this way right now, but I do.

  He tries to grab my hand, and I pull away. I have to end this now, before he hurts me any deeper. A strangled sob escapes my throat when I hear those three words that break me, shattering my heart completely.

  “Killing me, Kat,” he says hoarsely.

  “I. Can’t. Kai. I’m sorry,” I say each word through my sobs. The words are gutting me, but I have to stay strong. Kai Cooper isn’t going to get the best of me.

  “Can’t or won’t?” He says, with his voice cracking, trying to choke back his own tears.

  “Maybe both,” I say, trying to stay strong, the words cutting my tongue like glass the second I say them. I have to look away from his tear-streaked gaze.

  He steps aside as I walk passed him and out the door. I can’t look back, or I will lose what little courage I have.

  I hear his fist smashing against the door, as a guttural, “Fuck,” rips from his throat. Then I hear him tossing things inside of my room, losing it. Glass shatters, and I have to keep walking away. I have to stay strong. I can fall apart once I get out of here, away from him and his lies.

  When I reach my car, Khloe is in the front yard running through the sprinklers with her friends from school, without a care in the world. I hope she never loses that feeling. I hope Raven and Kai do what is best for her, whatever that might be.

  Driving away fro
m Kai Cooper is the hardest thing I have ever done. But if I don’t leave, I know that I will only stand in his way. If I had told him not to get on that plane, I know that he would have stayed and gave up his future for me. I won’t be the reason he loses his dream. I won’t be the reason that little girl learns her brother is really her dad.

  I don’t need to hear his reasons. He could have been honest with me. But he wasn’t. I tried so many times to get him to open up to me. I gave him all of me. I shared my secrets with him, but he couldn’t be open with me in return.

  Tears blind my sight as I drive toward the town limits. I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay where he isn’t, and I can’t be near here and be reminded of him either. Nothing will ever compare to Kai Cooper and the love I feel for him. He owns me, but I need to own myself.

  So, I just drive and when my phone rings, I turn it off, shutting out everything and everyone. I know it’s him and I can’t talk to him. If I do, I will turn this car around and drive straight back to him. I crank up my stereo, and I drive and cry. Eventually, I pull off for gas and call Penny, so she at least knows I am okay.

  Chapter 27

  One year later

  “Percy.” Where is that damn cat? I walk around to the back of the yard and call out for him again. I thought for sure the little shit would be out here digging up the flowerbed.

  “Any luck?” Becks asks from behind me.

  “No, he is a lost cause. I am sure he will return when his butt gets hungry,” I tell him with a shrug. “What time is Desi getting here?” I turn around and give him a small hug. I am going to miss him. We are finally close again.

  “Should be anytime now.” He smiles. Desi is Beckett’s girlfriend. We are having them a thing tonight, well we—being Penny and I. Beckett and Desi are going to South America for four months with their church. Desi is so good for him. I knew when I met her she was going to steal him away from me.

  “Katie!” Penny screams my name from the kitchen window.

  Becks and I go to see what she is freaking out about.

  “What?” I ask, and then I see Percy sitting on the table eating her chicken. “Percy,” I shout, and he looks at me, licks his mouth, and I swear the little devil just smiled at me.

  I inherited him from Mrs. Jennings when she passed away last fall. I stayed with her until she passed from old age and natural causes. She went out with a smile on her sweet wrinkled face. We spent her final days talking and reminiscing about her younger years. She led an amazing life. When she was younger, she was a singer in a gospel group. They even had a hit song. I never knew that about her until it was close to the end, which saddened me, considering how long we lived next to each other.

  Penny wasn’t too thrilled when I moved Percy in with us, but the little yellow fur ball was going to go to the shelter if I didn’t.

  “I’ll order a pizza,” Becks says with a chuckle.

  “I can’t believe you are ditching and leaving me alone with Katie all summer.” Penny gives Becks a hug.

  “I can hear you ya know?” I shake my head at her. You would think we aren’t even friends with the way they talk about me as if I am not in the room with them.

  A knock sounds at the front door to our townhouse. I ended up moving in with Penny in Georgetown over six months ago. Must be Desi. I go to let her in and see that she brought a casserole. I smile and give her a side hug.

  “Hold off on the pizza, Becks, your woman came prepared,” I call toward the kitchen.

  “Well, you guys did say Penny was cooking. I just thought it was better to be prepared,” Desi jokes, taking the dish and setting it on the table.

  “That almost hurts my feelings,” Penny mocks.

  We are settled at the table together for our last group meal minus Stewart. He couldn’t make it tonight. He normally has the weekends off, but he is on call for emergencies, and was called out for a sick horse. Stewart is a Veterinarian’s Assistant. We met when I took Percy to get declawed. It was the only way I could get Penny to agree to Percy living with us. Stewart actually got me a job as a receptionist at the clinic and we became friends fast.

  Penny swears he has a thing for me, but I could swear he is gay. He loves to watch all the old 80’s Rom Coms with Percy and me. He has become a great friend, Becks actually likes him, and he never likes any guys I bring around. Not that I bring anyone around. Well, other than Stewart. However, Stewart is my coworker, and I just can’t see anyone else in that way, especially when I know there is only one person out there for me. The one person I can’t have and shouldn’t still crave.

  We dig into our meal. Desi makes the best tatter tot casserole. I am going to miss her feeding us. Penny and I are not that great at cooking much, unless it involves ordering out, or using a microwave. But ask me to bake cookies and I am all over that.

  “What time do you leave?” I look to Desi.

  “My mom is driving us to the airport around noon or so, but our flight doesn’t depart until around five.”

  “I wish you guys could come to the grand opening for the Speedway tomorrow. There is like ten different bands scheduled to play on three different stages. It is going to be epic,” Penny says animatedly. She got a job at the Raceway that is getting ready to open and they are having some huge concert to celebrate. The official races won’t start until next weekend, but I am excited for the concert.

  “What bands?” Becks asks.

  “No idea, that is horrible of me isn’t it, but in all fairness, you know how my mind is these days.” Penny has bride brain. The bitch went and got herself engaged on me to a Marine. Bradly is on active duty, serving a tour in Iran. He won’t be home for another six months. He popped the question on Valentine’s Day right before he left. I tease Penny she only said yes because he was leaving.

  I am really happy for her. Bradly seems to make her smile.

  “Something cool would happen here the moment I am leaving,” Beckett gripes.

  “Um, hello. I am taking you to another country,” Desi fusses at him. He brushes her chestnut hair back from her face and kisses her cheek. They are so cute together, it is disgusting. My heart aches at how sweet they are.

  “What’s for dessert?” Penny looks to me expectantly.

  “Crap, I completely forgot. Stewart was supposed to get these awesome little cake things from that cupcake place near his work.”

  “Where is Stewart?” Desi winks at me.

  “He’s working, Stewart and I aren’t like that,” I tell her softly.

  “You sure he knows that?” She says, and Becks elbows her in the side.

  “I’ll go see if we have any dessert,” I tell them, excusing myself from the table. Relationships are a very sore spot for me.

  My friends are talking about me as though I can’t hear them in the next room. “I wasn’t thinking. I thought maybe she was, you know, moving on. Stewart is over here a lot. Should I apologize? I just…Katie is so sweet, and I just want her to be happy,” Desi says.

  Moving on. If it were that easy, I would have moved on months ago. My heart has a hole in it. Half of my soul is missing. I can’t even think of his name without dying all over again on the inside. I don’t even want to go to that concert tomorrow, but I promised Penny. I have been trying to be better about going out and living again. It’s just so hard when all I feel on the inside is dead.

  My fingers twist at the pendant that still hangs around my neck.

  Beckett tells Desi, “It’s fine, sweetheart. You were just trying to help. Katie hasn’t talked about him in months. She is actually putting on weight.”

  Him…my chest constricts. Dimples appear briefly in my head. If it were possible I would die a little more on the inside, but I’m numb now. I guess that is why I like hanging out with Stewart so much. He’s safe and there aren’t complications. I can breathe when I am with him. He doesn’t know anything about my past, and he doesn’t question why I hate the radio, or why I never sing anymore.

  I wipe
the lone tear from my face and cut up some fruit with dip to snack on. When I walk back into the dining area, they all grow quiet. “You guys don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. I’m fine.” I smile and try not to break. I am so not fine. I am not sure if I will ever be fine, but I’m trying. I honestly am.

  “Good, because we are going to have so much fun tomorrow. We get all access passes, thanks to my awesome new boss, Kevin.” Penny is grinning mischievously at me. I can only imagine what she has planned.

  “I can’t believe I am saying this, because I am going on amazing trip with my boyfriend tomorrow, but I am so jealous that you guys are going to spend all day tomorrow hanging out with hot rock stars.”

  The mere mention of those words—rock stars…my chest grows tight and my face falls. However, I put on a fake smile, trying to seem enthusiastic for my friends. I know Penny misses Bradly, so I am trying to suck up my self-pity and be here for her. It is just hard pretending to be happy when I’m still grieving the loss of him.

  “So hey, we better get going,” Becks says, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

  “You better bring me back something cool,” I tell him, hugging him briefly. “Have a great time, Desi. Don’t forget to write.”

  Penny walks the two of them out and I start clearing the plates from dinner. Anything to get my mind from those words.

  Percy rubs up against my legs, purring. I scoop him up in my arms. “You have been a bad kitty today. Penny will make you sleep outside.” He purrs harder, and I scratch his ears, touching his nose to mine. “I don’t need a man. Maybe I should just marry you, Percy. No wonder Deloris loved you so much. You are the best listener.”

  “It is really a good thing that you are going with me tomorrow.” Penny shakes her head and reaches me my cell phone. “Stewart tried to call you.”

  I put Percy down and he hisses at Penny. I really wish the two of them would get along better.

  Taking my phone, I go up to my room and flop down on my futon.

  Me: You totally suck for missing our last meal.

  Stewart: I would have much rather been with you. The mare died : (