Murder with a Twist

by Tracy Kiely

  “The alpaca?” I asked.

  Doris nodded. “She’s very gentle, and she needs a friend closer to her own size. Our poodle, Muffin, scares the crap out of her.”

  “Muffin scares the crap out of everyone, Mother. Including me,” said Nigel.

  “Speaking of crap, I guess you saw that Leo is back,” said a thick voice behind my shoulder. I turned to see Toby. His eyes were glassy and, despite the excellent fit of his custom-made tux, he appeared disheveled. “I really hoped he was gone for good this time,” he said, glaring to where Leo sat alone at his table.

  “So did everyone,” said Nigel.

  Toby shook his head. “He’s a rat son-of-a-bitch. Why couldn’t he have just stayed gone? He only makes her miserable.”

  Daphne appeared at my side. She was wearing a deep sapphire gown that hugged and dipped in all the right places. Her hair was arranged in one of those casual upsweeps that are anything but. “What are we talking about?” she asked.

  “The doomed love affair of our very own Romeo and Juliet,” Nigel answered. “Audrey and Leo.”

  Daphne rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t compare them to Romeo and Juliet. For one thing, you were sad when they died. No one would shed a tear if Leo dropped dead.”

  “Why is it that everyone can see what a louse he is, except for Audrey?” Toby asked.

  “I don’t know,” said Nigel. We all turned to stare at Leo. “Unfortunately, Audrey seems to be the only one who hasn’t been able to grasp that point yet.”

  “Someday she will, but by then it’ll be too late,” Toby said.

  “Unfortunately, I think you are correct,” said Nigel. “But there’s not much we can do about it.”

  “There has to be something,” Toby protested.

  “And yet, there is not,” said Nigel.

  “Are you here alone, Toby?” I asked, hoping to appear as if I were merely changing the subject when in fact I was being nosey.

  Toby looked at me blankly. “Am I what?”

  “Did you bring a date?” I asked.

  Daphne turned on him. “That’s right!” she exclaimed. “Since when did you start dating Susan Henkley? Are you out of your mind? She’s poison!”

  “What? I … how … who said I was dating her?” Toby stammered.

  “You practically had your tongue down her throat the other night at Baxter’s!” Daphne said.

  Toby seemed to lose control of this muscle now and regarded Daphne wide-eyed. “Well, that certainly is an image I didn’t want shoved into my head,” said Nigel.

  “Is she here?” Daphne continued.

  “I don’t think so,” Toby answered finally. “At least I didn’t bring her.”

  “Are you dating her?” Daphne pressed.

  “What? No. No!” said Toby, his voice agitated.

  “Well, then you really should keep your tongue out of her throat,” advised Nigel. “That’s what’s known as serving the hors d’oeuvre no one ordered.”

  Olive suddenly joined our group. “What are you talking about?” she asked.

  “Hors d’oeuvres,” Nigel answered.

  Olive smiled. “They are good, aren’t they? The caterer I hired is the best in the city.”

  Nigel nodded. “That’s what Toby was just saying.”

  Two women now came up to our group. They appeared to be in their early sixties. One was tall and fleshy, with large brown eyes and a full mouth. Her hair was blonde but her eyebrows were black. She wore an elaborately detailed velvet gown that was a shade somewhere between olive and avocado. Around her neck was a choker of sparkling emeralds. Stones of the same style and cut hung from her plump earlobes. The second woman was built on a smaller scale. From her mouth to her frame, she was all sharp edges and hard lines. Her ensemble was a simple dress of black silk. The only jewelry she wore was a gold wedding band on her left hand. Her gray hair was styled into a short, faintly androgynous bob.

  Seeing them, Olive adopted the wide smile she reserved for those acquaintances she didn’t actually like. It was one I was very familiar with.

  “Marcia! Janet!” Olive cried as she leaned in to give each their allotted air-kiss. “How are you, darlings? You both look lovely! It’s so good to see you! Are you having a nice time?”

  The larger of the two women spoke first. “Everything is just perfect, Olive. I don’t know how you managed all this—and over Christmas as well!”

  “Yes,” said the smaller woman, “Marcia and I were just saying what an amazing party this is. And Audrey looks so lovely! She and that husband of hers certainly make quite the couple! He’s a handsome devil. I bet he keeps her on her toes.”

  Olive’s smile dimmed slightly. “Yes, well, I’m glad you are enjoying yourselves. Marcia, Janet, I don’t think you’ve met Nigel’s wife.” Turning to me, she continued. “This is Nicole.”

  I smiled and said a polite hello while Marcia (the flamboyant one) and Janet (the conservative one) eyed me with interest. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Nicole,” said Marcia.

  “Please, call me Nic,” I said.

  “Yes,” said Nigel. “Nicole’s just her stage name. We thought it gave the act some class.”

  Marcia and Janet’s eyes opened very wide. “Nigel’s just kidding, of course,” Olive hissed through a smile.

  “I am?” Nigel responded, his forehead crinkled in confusion.

  “Nigel!” Olive barked.

  Nigel smiled and turned to Janet. “So, Mrs. Harris. I understand my aunt has you to thank for her new butler.”

  A sly look crept into Janet’s gray eyes. “Oh, is he working out?” she asked Olive. “I’m so glad. Joe certainly is a find.” Next to her, Marcia began to busy herself with something in her purse.

  “Joseph has been very helpful,” Olive said. “I’m very much in your debt, Janet. You were a darling to suggest him for me.”

  “Don’t be silly, Olive dear,” Janet replied with a smile. “It was the least I could do. But speaking of staff, dear, I do think you might need to speak with your head of catering.”

  Olive sensed an attack. She stiffened her spine. “Yes?”

  “Well, I just thought you should know that one of your waiters was very rude to us,” Janet continued. Her tone held just the right amount of sympathetic distress.

  “Is that so?” Olive said. “How?”

  “Well,” Janet paused as if embarrassed to have to relay such unfortunate information. “Marcia and I tried to order a drink from him, and he quite ignored us! I know that he heard me too. He looked right at us, but he walked away without saying a word.”

  Olive adopted a stoic expression. “Thank you for letting me know. I will certainly look into it. Do you remember what he looked like?”

  Janet wrinkled her beak of a nose and nodded. “Not very attractive, I must say. Big. Short dark hair. And he had a tattoo! Now you know, I’m not one to judge, especially on appearances. But I do think those things ought to be covered up when one is working. It’s unseemly.” She smiled sweetly at Olive. “Don’t you agree, dear?”

  “Yes, of course. I’ll look into it immediately. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

  “Oh, please, don’t worry a thing about it. We’re fine. I just thought you’d want to know. Now. Where is that handsome husband of yours? He promised me a dance.” Spying Max a few feet away, Janet added with an innocent air, “And, of course, I need to speak with him about the upcoming charity ball.” Turning to me, she added, “It was lovely to meet you, Nicole.”

  “Likewise,” I said.

  The two women moved toward Max, but not before I heard them start to giggle. I turned to Olive and, with as much sincerity as I could, said, “They seem nice.”

  twenty-eight

  Nigel and I were sitting quietly at a table when it happened. Olive had just cut in on Janet and Max after thei
r third dance. She and Max were twirling and spinning to the band’s music when a high-pitched wailing sound made itself heard. I looked over at Nigel in confusion, unsure if I was interpreting the sound correctly. From the alarmed expression on his face, I knew that I was. The rest of the crowd suddenly became aware of it as well. The dancers slowed and then stopped. People glanced around uneasily. Finally, someone caught the attention of the band leader, and the music came to an abrupt halt. The awful silence that followed was cut by a woman’s hysterical screams.

  Bedlam ensued as people tried to locate the source. It was found standing at the ballroom’s entrance. It was Audrey. Her silver dress was smeared with blood. In her hand was a knife. It, too, was covered in blood. “He’s dead!” she screamed. “Dead! Leo! Someone’s killed Leo!”

  Amidst several camera flashes from the press, Audrey collapsed to the floor. More cameras flashed.

  After an initial hush of shock, the guests began screaming and crowding their way out of the ballroom. The bandleader grabbed the microphone and pleaded for everyone to remain calm. I appreciated his quick thinking, but I did wonder what kind of venues he normally played for him to react so calmly. Nigel and I pushed our way through the panicked crowd to where Audrey lay on the ground sobbing.

  I grabbed a napkin off a nearby table. Using it, I reached over and gently took the knife out of her shaking hand. Nigel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, picked her up, and steered her to a nearby chair. “Where is he?” I asked. “Where is Leo?”

  Audrey covered her face with her hands. Then, realizing they were covered in blood, pulled them away. “He’s in there,” she said, pointing toward the entrance of the men’s room.

  Leaving Nigel to calm her down, I went to where Audrey had indicated. Just inside the door was a lounge area with several club chairs. Leo was sprawled on the floor in front of one. His eyes stared unseeingly at the ceiling. I slowly walked to him. He was covered in blood. It appeared that he’d been stabbed in the back. From the position of his body, it seemed likely that he’d been seated when he’d been stabbed. I bent down and felt for the pulse that I knew wasn’t there. Then I opened my purse and took out my phone.

  “Marcy? Hi, it’s me. Listen, I might need your help tonight. Someone’s killed Leo Blackwell.”

  “Seriously?” she said. Her voice was sleepy. I glanced at my watch. It was a little after midnight. “Where are you?”

  “In the men’s room of the Ritz. Leo’s here on the floor.”

  Marcy swore. “Did you find him?”

  “No. Audrey did.”

  “Well, don’t touch anything. Has someone called it in?”

  “I think so,” I replied, trying not to look at Leo’s face anymore.

  “Okay. Well, I’ll call it just in case. Do you want me to come?”

  “If it’s not too much trouble,” I answered.

  “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. You know the drill, though. Don’t touch anything, and don’t move the body.”

  “Yeah, about that first part …”

  “What?”

  “Audrey was the one who found him. She picked up the knife.”

  Marcy swore again. “That’s not good, Nic.”

  “I know,” I sighed. “That’s why I called you.”

  _____

  I hung up with Marcy and went out to the lobby. The hotel staff was on the phone with the police and their own higher-ups. I told a woman behind the front desk to assign someone from hotel security to guard the entrance to the bathroom. She nodded at everything I said, her face pale with horror. “So, it’s true, then? Someone died in the bathroom?” she asked, her voice a high squeak.

  “The guest of honor’s husband,” I answered. “Did you see anything?”

  The woman shook her head. “No. I just heard the screaming. When I looked up, I saw that woman standing in the doorway covered in blood.”

  I thanked her and walked back to where Nigel sat with Audrey. He was trying to get her to drink something. Olive and Max crowded around her as well. “Audrey,” I said, “tell me everything that happened.”

  I pulled up a chair next to hers and waited.

  “I … didn’t know where Leo was,” she began. “I couldn’t find him. Aunt Olive said that it was almost time to cut the cake and that Leo needed to be with me.” Her voice broke. Nigel squeezed her hand. “I couldn’t find him,” she repeated.

  “Why did you go into the men’s room?” I asked.

  Audrey looked at me, her eyes dazed. “It was the only place I hadn’t looked. I thought maybe he was … in there.”

  I stared back at her. “You didn’t think to ask one of the male guests to check for you?”

  Audrey shook her head. “No. I thought …” she looked down at her hands. Seeing the blood on them, she quickly jerked her gaze away. “I wondered if he … I just wanted to see …”

  “You wanted to see if he was fooling around with someone in the bathroom?” I finished for her.

  She averted her eyes from mine. “Yes,” she whispered. Seeing my look of disbelief, she added, “It’s happened before.”

  “Oh, Audrey, my poor darling!” Olive said, as she stroked Audrey’s hair. Looking around, she asked, “You had a knife. Where did it go?”

  Audrey looked down. “I don’t know,” she glanced vaguely around for the item in question.

  “I have it,” I said.

  Audrey closed her eyes. “I picked up the knife,” she said dully. “The one used to kill Leo.”

  “Do you mean someone stabbed him?” Olive screeched.

  I looked at her in annoyance. “That would seem to be the case.”

  “But why would anyone do that?” Olive asked. “This is the Ritz for God’s sake!”

  “Yes, well, I’ll speak to management about that when I get a moment,” I said. Focusing again on Audrey, I continued, “Audrey? Do you feel okay? Can I get you anything?”

  Audrey shook her head. “No, I’m okay. But … but what am I going to do?”

  “Don’t worry about a thing,” said Max. “We’ll take care of it.”

  Daphne and Toby rushed up. Daphne gave Audrey an awkward hug, trying not to get any of Leo’s blood on her own dress. “Audrey! Oh my God, you poor thing. How did it happen?” Without waiting for an answer, she continued, “This is a nightmare!”

  Toby pulled up a chair next to Audrey’s. He handed her a wet napkin to clean her hands. She smiled gratefully at him and began to rub at the blood. “Have you called the police?” she asked.

  I nodded. “The hotel staff called. I also talked to one of my former colleagues. She’s on her way as well.”

  Olive looked at me sharply. “Why on earth would you do that?” she asked.

  “I have a feeling that Audrey is going to need all the help she can get,” I said, my tone matter-of-fact.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she snapped at me. “How dare you infer …”

  “Imply,” corrected Nigel.

  “… that Audrey had anything to do with that man’s death! Why, I’m sure there are loads of people who wanted Leo dead!” Olive glared at me and then belatedly realized her blunder. Turning back to Audrey, she said, “Oh, Audrey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just want to protect you.” Olive’s eyes welled with tears, and she blindly grabbed Max’s hand for comfort.

  Audrey didn’t respond. I did. “Olive, I’m not saying that Audrey killed Leo. However, she did go into the men’s room and because she picked up the knife that killed him, her fingerprints will be all over that knife. Thanks to yesterday’s article and accompanying photograph, half of New York knows that their marriage was in trouble. Those facts alone are going to guarantee a police investigation into Audrey’s possible motives for killing Leo. And God help her if it comes out that she went to Lizzy Marks’s apartment and not only
found her dead, but then said nothing about her discovery to the authorities.”

  “What are you saying?” Audrey asked, her voice dull.

  “Among other things, you need to tell the police about your visit to Lizzy Marks’s house,” I said.

  Toby disagreed. Rather strongly. “Absolutely not!” he hissed, quickly looking around to make sure no one could hear us. “I told you before what I thought of that idea. They’ll crucify her!”

  “What do you think they’ll do once they figure out that she was there and never came forward?” I asked.

  “There is no law that says she has to do anything. She is under no obligation to go to the police to report the death of a person that is already known to be dead. You of all people should know that. As her lawyer, I will make sure she understands that,” Toby said.

  “Well, for a lawyer, I think you’re giving her pretty crappy advice. The press is going to go crazy with this.”

  Toby sighed. “Look, Nic, I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think this is the time or the place to discuss this. She just found her husband dead—murdered. I think it would be extremely foolish to say anything now. Not until we have a game plan.”

  I looked at Audrey. She was staring at the floor, a dazed expression on her face. I realized that as much as I disagreed with Toby in principle, he probably did have a point. To make Audrey tell the police about her visit to Lizzy Marks now would probably result in her immediate arrest.

  twenty-nine

  Marcy arrived soon after the other police. She found me and I told her what I knew. Which, admittedly, wasn’t much.

  “So, Audrey says she couldn’t find Leo and went to look for him?” Marcy asked me.

  “Yes. I guess they were about to cut her birthday cake.”

  “And she went looking for him in the men’s room why?”

  I shrugged. “I think she was suspicious that he might have been entertaining a guest there.”

  Marcy raised an eyebrow. “In the men’s bathroom?”

  “Well, in the men’s bathroom at the Ritz. You have to admit, it’s a cut above your average bathroom. But, to answer your question, yes. She thought he might be in there with someone. Apparently, he’d done it before.”