Tudor Rubato

by Jamie Salisbury

  The remainder of the meal was spent talking about our upcoming move. The conversation soon moved on to the day’s activities. Remembering our earlier trip to the town on the island, Amadeus suggested since the weather wasn’t fit for outdoor activities that perhaps everyone go into town. Grace was all for it. She loved looking through the small shops, as I did, so a time was set for the crowd to meet and depart for town.

  Julia offered hers and Damien’s shower which we gladly took her up on. Refusing any help from either of us in cleaning the dining room or kitchen, we returned to the boat to pick up our things.

  Amadeus made taking a shower difficult. He had other ideas how we should use our private time together. Not wanting to be late, we compromised. We quickly soaped each other up as Amadeus held me in his lap on one of the benches on the perimeter of the large shower. In a matter of minutes we were making love, the water from the various shower heads beating down on us.

  ******

  As we were all waiting for the SUV’s and other vehicles to take us to town, I noticed Angus had Amadeus off to one side talking. Whatever they were discussing it appeared rather intense as Amadeus turned and walked away, a look of disgust on his face. He walked over to where I was standing near Grace and Amadeus’ sister, Anne. Julia was trying to talk with the older children, no doubt about shadowing a younger cousin or sibling. Ashleigh finally appeared with Amber and their brood in tow.

  Amadeus came up behind me, kissed me on the cheek and placed his hands firmly on my shoulders. To lighten the mood, I chided Amadeus, “You better have your wallet ready buster, your mom and I are going to hit the pottery and art shops. So I hope you have your walking shoes on and your wallet handy.”

  “I think I can keep up, besides it’ll do me good to do some walking. Baby, you know you can buy whatever you want.”

  ******

  Whatever Angus was up to was beyond me. He had hired Amber as a nanny. I knew there had to be another reason behind all of it. I was hoping that I’d be able to get away from her today while we all went into town. But Angus and Ashleigh insisted she and their brood come along.

  Damien, Angus and I all stood outside a row of shops in town while the women went in to browse. The rain had stopped, but it was still overcast. Angus hurried into a conversation best left for other times, but that seemed to be his style these days.

  “Man, I can’t believe you and Zara are going to move to Scotland. It seems to me more like you’re running away than facing your demons.”

  “That’s your opinion. We’re not running away. We merely want some time to ourselves, away from the memories. If you don’t understand that brother, I don’t know how else to explain it to you.”

  “You don’t need to explain anything A. You and Zara do what the two of you feel you need to do,” Damien injected, looking between the two of us, trying to be the diplomatic older brother.

  “I don’t know since when you became such a pussy. You’ve got a reputation to uphold, man. You’re the bad ass Amadeus Tudor. The last of the wild ones,” Angus replied looking disgusted.

  “No, you’re the one with the bad ass reputation, Angus. You’re the one who screws anything that comes close,” I hissed. “Evidently your marriage vows aren’t that important to you, or you wouldn’t have brought Amber to live under your roof.”

  “Baby brother’s got a point Angus.”

  “I tried…”

  “Shut up, Angus. I don’t want to hear it. Not now. I love Zara, and our relationship is none of your damn business.” I inhaled deeply, then exhaled, shaking my head in his direction.

  “Yeah, whatever, A. From what Amber says you aren’t much as a lover anyway. Couldn’t even…”

  “Angus! Shut the fuck up!” I shouted at him before turning and walking off, leaving Damien to deal with him. Damn him. I can’t trust that he won’t let my failed tryst with Amber leak out to Zara. I don’t know what the hell he’s up to. But whatever it is, it isn’t good.

  Chapter Six

  Sunday, the day that Grace wanted to scatter some of William’s ashes turned into one of the most beautiful days we had seen in a couple of weeks. It was as though it was made specifically for us.

  Grace was specific in who was to attend. As there was a limited amount of room on any of the family boats, she chose the “Tudor Queen” because she was the largest. She also decided since there was limited space that only the siblings, her children and their spouses accompany her. The older children, who were Damien’s and his sister Anne’s would take those who wanted to follow in one of Damien’s boats.

  The entire scattering took only a short time and there wasn’t a dry eye on board the boat. Even Angus as difficult as he had been the past couple of days shed a tear or two for his father.

  Amadeus and I initially decided we’d stay the night and make the long sail back into Seattle the following morning as Grace wanted the family close around her afterwards. Knowing we’d be leaving in a week or two for Edinburgh we didn’t give staying another thought.

  Later that afternoon all hell broke loose. The family was gathered outside enjoying the warm, beautiful day, lounging about like families do. It was sort of a nostalgic gathering, everyone remembering their favorite times with William.

  Angus, who had been drinking rather heavily all afternoon, if not all day, suddenly turned on me. Looking back he did so because he could not get the reaction or response he wanted out of Amadeus so he turned his attention on me.

  “You know Zara, everything was just fine until you and Amadeus got together. Ever since then his life has gone to hell.”

  “Angus,” Grace scolded. “Stop right now. I’ll not have you starting one of your family squabbles today of all days.”

  “No, I’m sorry mother. She needs to hear this and so do the rest of you.”

  “Angus, I have to agree with mother. This is not the time for one of your routines,” Amadeus cautioned.

  Angus ignored everyone and began his tirade. “You think you can come in and out of my brother’s life as you please. You leave when things aren’t going your way and you return when you finally beat him down.”

  “Angus!” Grace hissed. “Enough!”

  He ignored his mother, continuing. It was obvious to everyone that his drinking was taking over his mouth, not that Angus didn’t speak his mind when he was sober.

  “That’s why I brought Amber around, to get you out of his system. I figured once he slept with her, which he did by the way while you were off finding yourself, he’d see the light and do what needed to be done to protect his reputation. And that is to get rid of you.”

  “Angus, that’s enough.” This time it was Damien speaking up. But Angus wasn’t about to be silenced.

  “And by the way Zara, seems baby brother and Amber are going to have a baby of their own.”

  “Angus, shut the fuck up! Everyone is on to what you’re trying to do here. I hope you’re happy,” Amadeus shouted at his brother.

  I sat frozen in my seat not quite knowing what to do or say for that matter. I felt Amadeus’ hand on my shoulder. I realized he was trying to get me up out of my seat. As he did I could feel hot tears streaming down my face.

  “Come Zara, we’re leaving. We’re not going to sit here and listen to this crap,” he whispered.

  I nodded my head and let him help me up. As I got to my feet he steadied me, putting his arm around me.

  “I’m sorry ya’ll, but Zara and I are leaving. I’m not going to be nor am I going to have Zara subjected to his filth.”

  “Angus, are you happy now?” I heard Grace shout at her middle son.

  “Mother, we’ll call you when we get home tomorrow. I’m sorry today had to end like this.”

  “No, no, wait Amadeus. I have something I want to ask Angus before we leave,” I said, pulling away from Amadeus’ hold. “Angus, answer me this. Just what was your part in what went on during all that fiasco with Tudor Rose. Better yet what part did you play in Amadeus’ overdose?
Are you that jealous that you’d have your own brother killed?”

  “Fuckin’ crazy bitch. You see what I’m talking about A? Now do you see?” Angus yelled.

  “Come on,” I whispered to Amadeus. “NOW we can go.”

  We walked all the way down to Damien’s dock by ourselves. Raised voices could be heard from the patio up at the house. Amadeus still had his arm around me and I leaned into him as we walked.

  Once we reached the boat and got on board, I gathered my wits to help him ready the boat for departure. He and I had worked out a routine, each of us having jobs to do when we departed and arrived at our destination. We made a good team, in everything.

  We worked in silence. Once we were safely pulled away from the dock, Amadeus reached over where I was seated, grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. I stood next to him as he steered the boat. He leaned down and kissed me. I snaked my arm around his waist in an effort to let him know things were alright between us. As he got the boat further out, he reciprocated by putting his arm around my shoulder and hugging me tightly against him. Finally he had me take hold of the wheel as he unfurled the sails and readied the vessel for sail. Amadeus thought sailboats should sail when there was enough wind and to power them and motor only when necessary.

  “Here I’ll take her, unless you’d like to sail her for a while.”

  I shook my head as we traded places. “Perhaps in a while. Would you like something while I’m below?”

  “I’d love a beer.”

  “One beer coming up. I’m starving too,” I replied, realizing I had not eaten all day except for a piece of toast while I had my morning coffee. I found a box of crackers and cut off pieces of cheese to take top side. I poured myself large plastic cup of wine and grabbed Amadeus a beer before I made my way back outside.

  I passed him the beer and offered him some cheese. “I thought this might tide us over until dinner.”

  He nodded and took a couple of pieces, shaking his head when I offered the crackers. I sat back down and took a long pull off my wine and enjoyed a piece of cheese. I wanted to say something about Angus’ outburst, but Amadeus beat me to the punch. He took my hand and pulled me back on my feet, standing me as close to him as he could get me, one arm tightly around my waist.

  “Zara, you know what Angus said back there-about Amber-is a lie, a bold faced lie.”

  I nodded my head. “I believe you. But why would he say something so hurtful? I’ve never done anything to him.”

  “Perhaps he’s trying to use me-us-to cover up his own mistake.”

  “You don’t think?”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me.”

  I took another long drink off my wine, watching him. Okay stupid, might as well say what’s on your mind. “Amadeus, why would he and Amber say you’ve slept with her and now claim you’ve gotten her pregnant? What does she have to gain?” I felt his arm tighten around my waist.

  “I think he’s trying to use me to cover up his mistake, Zara.”

  “There’s something I’m not getting,” I replied, turning toward him. “Do you think he slept with her and got her pregnant and when he saw us back together decided he needed to launch his “get rid of Zara” campaign?”

  He nodded his head, not looking at me, but at the sails. I was on to something.

  “He thought he could get you to take her on the rebound, and you’d be none the wiser. If she’s pregnant, you would have had to have had sex with her Amadeus, just to cover up his misdeed.”

  “Zara, I told you. We never had sex. Nothing happened. He tried to pair us up and like I told you I was mad at you.” He looked down at me. His face was stoic. “I did go to bed with her Zara, but nothing happened. I couldn’t. I froze thinking of you and what I was doing to us if I took it any further.”

  I felt my eyes tear up, but I was determined to handle this information with the dignity I knew I had.

  “I believe you, baby. Remember, I know you better than most and I’d know if you weren’t telling the truth.” I kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear. “Thank you for being so honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy.”

  “No it wasn’t. I was so afraid to tell you Zara. We’ve hurt each other enough without this.”

  “Well, now everything is out in the open--now perhaps we can figure what Angus is up to.”

  “I think we’ve already figured most of that out, love. What did you mean by what you said to him? Do you have reason to think he was somehow involved in everything that happened?”

  I nodded my head. “It’s a working theory, let’s leave it at that for now. I fed Angus the bait and he bit hard.” I knew it wasn’t the entire truth, but he didn’t seem to be questioning what I told him. So at least for now, best leave it at that.

  “What you and I need to do is go home and get ourselves moved to Scotland.”

  “And work on making our own baby?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Chapter Seven

  A week later we landed in Edinburgh aboard a commercial flight. Peter’s farm manager Sean met us outside the terminal in a white Land Rover. He helped Amadeus load the back with our luggage. We brought as much as possible with us, paying dearly in fees for the extra weight. We decided to take only what was necessary until we knew what we wanted to do. Our things would be secure in the condo back in Seattle. We’d brought personal stuff to make our new place seem like home.

  I sat in the back seat while Amadeus sat up front with Sean as we headed away from the airport and toward the farm. Amadeus chatted away with Sean, but I couldn’t hear what they were discussing. I got caught up in the scenery and remembered my friend Barb’s aunt who lived here. I’ll have to take Amadeus and visit her once we get settled.

  It had been raining and the road down to the farm house was muddy, the gravel even over-run with the excess water. The house was larger than I expected. A two story white washed house with some sort of shingled type roof. It appeared very Scottish, very typical of the area. Peter and his late wife had purchased the farm when they first married and he’d kept it all these years. Sentimental reasons I was sure. The man certainly had a parcel load of properties to choose from.

  Sean gave us a tour through the house before he and Amadeus brought the luggage in. I was amazed that while the house looked rural Scottish on the outside, it was modern and up to date on the inside. The kitchen had recently been redone, the appliances updated, although one of the British fave in stoves, an AGA cooker stood predominantly in its place. I thought it odd that Peter would have one, but remembered that they were known for their longevity. Having never used one, I hoped it wouldn’t lead to too many disasters in my culinary efforts. This one was a larger model, with what looked like four ovens and I silently prayed there was some sort of instruction manual somewhere for me to use until I got the hang of using it.

  My hesitation was not lost on Sean as he offered to have his wife, Amy come and show me how the stove worked once he and Amadeus finished. I amiably accepted his offer.

  A while after Sean left, his wife Amy came to the house and graciously showed Amadeus and me how to use not only the AGA cooker, but a couple other things that were unfamiliar to us as Americans. She came bearing a basket filled with some pasties for dinner, which were meat filled. It surprised me, Peter being a vegetarian and all, but he evidently relaxed the strict rule he carried on the road when it came to his employees and guests. Amy mentioned Peter didn’t mind if Amadeus and I ate meat as long as it was far removed from the house if he were around. I informed her we would most certainly abide by his wishes if and when he came to visit. She also had a bottle of wine and a fresh blackcurrant pie for us in her basket.

  “Thank you Amy, you really didn’t have to go to all the fuss,” I said as she was leaving.

  “Not a problem. We’re just down the lane if you need anything. Enjoy your evening.”

  “You too Amy, and thanks again.”

  I closed the front door and found Amadeus back in the k
itchen helping himself to a huge slice of the blackcurrant pie. He certainly had no problem finding the plates and forks.

  “Amadeus! I was going to warm the pasties so we could eat first.”

  “But I’m starving.”

  “So am I. Put it down. I’ll heat up these pasties so we can eat. Why don’t you open the bottle of wine. And put that pie down!”

  “Mmm, okay,” he mumbled as he crammed his mouth full of pie.

  I walked over and snatched the plate out of his hand, knowing full well he would eat the entire piece while we waited for the main course. Fortunately for us, the pasties were still fairly warm and I popped them into the microwave for a minute just to make them hot.

  I found a corkscrew in a drawer and tossed it to him as I looked for a couple of wine glasses. I took two out of the cabinet and walked them over to him. As I laid them down, the buzzer on the microwave beeped letting me know the pasties were ready. I plated them, grabbed a couple of forks and walked over to the kitchen table situated along a cheerful large window. Amadeus quickly followed and placed a glass next to me as he sat down across the table.

  The food was good, and we were both hungrier than we thought. We devoured all four of the pasties before Amadeus was back at his slice of pie. My mind was still spinning with the events of the day. It had been quite a long day for that matter, but I was too keyed up for sleep.

  Instead I got up, gathered the dishes and put them in the dishwasher before I walked back over to where Amadeus sat, still at the kitchen table. I began to massage his neck and shoulders.

  “How does that feel?”

  “God you’ve got good hands. That feels wonderful.”

  I knew beneath the table Amadeus was hard as granite, the blood running like lava through his veins, and I knew where this was going if I kept touching him.

  I moved his hair to one side and began kissing him against the nape of his neck and smiled as a shudder rippled through him.