Shutout (The Renegades Series Book 5)

by Melody Heck Gatto

  “Such a good guy, even after all these years,” her mom mused. “So, Hailee, what’s going on with you? Mia, are you mixed up in this one’s hijinks too?”

  “No ma’am, I mean Mom. Hailee called me because she had to get out of the States.”

  Hailee looked at her friend and shook her head.

  “Hailee honey, why? What happened?”

  She was tired of talking about this. “Long story made short, I ran into Dominic in Pittsburgh. He wanted to reconnect, and I kept pushing him away, until I didn’t… then I ran back here. Because as much as I still have feelings for him, I’m not ready to give up on my dreams.”

  Her mom shook her head. “Honey, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “She slept with him after being a bitch to him time and time again. She still has feelings for him, but refuses to admit it, because she doesn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant, stuck in the kitchen,” Mia blurted out. Hailee glared at her. Mia shrugged. “What? That’s the long and the short of it.”

  “Oh my God.” Hailee groaned, covering her face with her hands.

  “So I have to kick his ass for taking advantage of my sister,” Brody stated, as he gathered dishes from the table to take back to the kitchen.

  “No, Brody. You don’t. I don’t have a problem with any of that. Well, the barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen thing I do, but he finally put his foot down and said that he’s done chasing me. He said that I win.”

  Brody shook his head and mumbled something about not understanding women, as he disappeared into the kitchen.

  “But he made it clear that if she ever needs him, he’s only a call away, no matter what she needs,” Mia added, turning back to Hailee’s mom.

  “So, you’re upset that he finally seems like he’s over you?” her Mom asked.

  Why did it sound so pathetic when her mom said it? “Well, yeah.” Contrary to everything she’d said, she wasn’t ready for him to give up on her. “He was annoying when he was bugging me, trying to get my attention—”

  “But now that he’s over it, you miss it?” Mom asked. “You thought this was what you wanted, but now—”

  “I didn’t want to win, not like this.” She squeaked out. She was pathetic, utterly pathetic. And a total bitch, like Mia had said. “Well, now that we’ve determined that I am just pathetic and only want what I can’t have, I guess we’ll be going.” Why did I even come here? She didn’t know what she expected. She made this mess; it was hers and only hers to clean up. Mommy and Daddy couldn’t help. Not this time.

  “Hailee, you’re being dramatic,” Mia said.

  “Honey, that’s not what I think. Let’s talk this over.” Her mom grabbed Hailee’s wrist as she stood up, stopping her from leaving. Hailee hesitated a moment before wearily sitting back down.

  “Mom, about Dominic. There’s so much more to the story.” She wanted to get her mom’s take on it. Was she really as pathetic as she seemed? Or had she done the right thing? Maybe her mom could answer that. She’d have to tell the whole story. “When I broke up with him, when I ended our relationship, his sisters had taken me out shopping for the day. I had a wonderful time, and it was all leading up to him proposing at a nice dinner that night. I was ready to stand by his side, be his better half. But by the time I got to dinner, his sisters were in my head.”

  “In what way?”

  “They had told me that Zanetti women basically have to be stay at home wives and moms who live to serve their man. They don’t need careers because they have a family to take care of, and wanting my own career would be selfish.”

  Mia cringed.

  Hailee’s mom frowned. “Oh my, I never got that from Dominic. He was always such a nice young man, always very helpful when he was here. I recall him always doing the dishes with your father.” She smiled. “And he used to look so cute in an apron when he helped us bake cookies. He was good at making those cookies. Nana’s recipe. Remember that?”

  “Yes mother, I remember that.” Christmas cookies were his favorite to help with. “No, I never felt that from him either. But his sisters got to me. That’s not how I was raised, and I had no intention of being that girl.” Hailee took a deep breath before continuing. “So then I told them about my dreams of owning my own art gallery, and they basically told me to forget having a life of my own. They said if I couldn’t forget about that, then I should let him go.”

  “What? That’s awful.” Her mom frowned and shook her head. “Why would they say that?”

  Hailee sighed. “You have to remember that this was when Dom was just starting out, and all his sisters could talk about was how determined he was to continue the Zanetti legacy.” She tried to swallow the big knot that sat lodged in her throat. “They sat me down and told me that even having a girlfriend was probably too much for Dom to worry about at that point in his career, much less being saddled with a wife who wasn’t going to be one hundred percent supportive. That he was too young to take on extra responsibilities, and that he needed his head completely in the game until he made it in the Professional Hockey League.”

  “Well, I understand it would’ve been a tough time for him. But surely Dom should’ve been the one to decide that? Did he ever say anything like that to you?”

  “No, but you know what he’s like. He wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me. I didn’t dare talk to him about it, because I knew him too well. He would’ve just said all the right things and convinced me to stay. But I couldn’t be responsible for destroying his dream.”

  “I still can’t believe those girls would say such things.”

  “I don’t think she even realized how much it hurt me. They were just being honest and telling it how they saw it. But what hurt the most was when Rosa said that when Dom finally got married, it should be to a woman who understood the demands of hockey, someone who would spend her life supporting him and who would produce a bunch of little Zanettis to continue the family legacy. Anna pointed out that I couldn’t even skate.” Hailee wiped a tear from her cheek. “And I knew they were right. If I stayed with him, he’d be pulled in two directions. I would hold him back and ruin his chances of ever playing in the Professional Hockey League. So I ran.”

  Her mom put her hand over Hailee’s. “Oh, Hailee. I had no idea that’s how you were feeling. I wished you’d talked to me at the time. I thought after you two broke up, you left here because you were so determined to have your own career.”

  “Well, I wanted Dom to think that, so I let everyone think that, until I believed it myself. And I did want to follow my own dream too — I still do. But you know how important hockey is for the Zanettis. It’s all they live for. I just didn’t see how a relationship could possibly work out so that both of us could have what we wanted. I’m sorry I didn’t confide in you back then, Mom. I just had to get away.”

  “You know, when you packed your bags and stormed off, I suspected that Dom had done something to hurt you. But now I understand. You were still in love with him when you left. You thought you were doing what was best for him. That must’ve been very hard for you.” Her mom looked at her sadly. “And what about now, after all this time?”

  “Running into him again made me realize I still had unresolved feelings for him. I still have no interest in being someone’s stay at home wife. I want to have an art gallery. I want to be a success.” But I still want to be someone’s wife. I just want to be me too. Can I be both with him? I’ve really messed up.

  “And you will be, dear. Why don’t you talk to him about all this? I’m sure he’d understand.”

  “Because even if I got back together with him, it wouldn’t change the fact that I’d be dragging him down. He’s still proving himself in hockey, and I’m just starting out. He could be traded at any time, and then what about my gallery? I’m so close to getting it up and running. And I know him. He’d choose me over his career, and that’s why we can’t do this. I’m just a liability.”

  “Hailee, you’re so wrapped up in t
his crap his sisters told you three years ago,” Mia said. “You’re not thinking clearly. He’s not a rookie anymore.”

  “I think Mia’s right,” her mom said. “He’s not a kid anymore either. His hockey career seems to be going just fine, and he’s doing well for himself. I think you owe it to him and yourself to be up front about this.”

  Hailee squeezed her eyes closed in an attempt to stop more tears from falling. “I think it’s too late now. I acted on old feelings, then I panicked and ran away again. That was the last straw. He’s not waiting around for me anymore.”

  “Hailee,” Mia said. “He said he’d always be there for you. That you were to call him if you needed anything.” She gave Hailee a grin. “I think maybe you need something.”

  Brody said from the entryway, “Dom might need his ass kicked for not running after you when you left years ago, but he’s no fool. He still loves you. Of course I might still need to kick his ass for not fighting harder for you.”

  “You still love him, don’t you?” her dad asked, following Brody into the room. He walked up behind her mom and put his hand on her shoulder.

  “I’ve always loved him.” I really do still love him. But it doesn’t matter now. Her mom pulled her close as a hot tear rolled down her cheek.

  * * *

  Hailee flopped down on Mia’s couch. “I’m sorry I’m such a hot mess. Thanks for letting me crash here for the night.”

  “No problem, Hay. I have all of the essential breakup remedies. We have ice cream, chocolate chip cookies and—”

  Hailee’s phone started to ring. “Hang on. Hello?”

  “Hi, Hailee?” The female voice sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place it.

  “Yes?”

  “This is Rosalie Medina. Um, my maiden name was Zanetti. I hope you remember me.”

  Rosalie Medina? Zanetti — Dominic’s sister. “Yes, Rosalie, I remember you.” What the hell is Rosalie calling me for? A sick feeling rolled through Hailee’s stomach and her chest tightened. “Oh God, is Dominic okay?”

  “What? Oh, yes, sorry there’s nothing wrong. He’s fine.”

  Her heart rate settled down to almost normal. “Okay. Well that’s good then. Um, how are you?”

  Mia gave her a look and mouthed, “Who?”

  Hailee waved her friend off, curious as to what his sister wanted after all this time.

  “I’m doing okay. Feeling a bit guilty, but okay.”

  Why is she guilty, and why is she telling me? “Um, I don’t know what to say to that. I’m confused as to why you’re calling me. Sorry.”

  “I just called to clear something up. I feel like your breaking up with my brother was my fault.”

  “Your fault? Why do you say that?” Hailee shook her head; this was confusing and hard to follow.

  “I told you some things about how my family is, assuming Dom would follow the same path, but I should’ve known better. We were excited that you were going to be our new sister, and wanted you to be just like us. To understand our world and how it worked. But I scared you off instead.”

  “Is this—”

  “Please, I know you have questions, but just let me explain. Seeing the pain in my brother’s eyes tonight hurt me terribly. I just want to clarify things, then you two can do whatever you want. At least I won’t be the cause of it any longer, and I can look him in the eye again.” She sighed heavily. “I told you that as Dom’s wife you’d be expected to take care of him, that there was no room for a career because with him being in the league, you’d need to move at a moment’s notice.”

  She couldn’t help herself, she had to interject. “Yeah, you basically said I was expected to be barefoot, bearing his children and cooking his meals.” Again, she didn’t want to sound bitchy, yet she did.

  Rosalie’s sharp intake of breath told her she’d hit her mark. “Kind of, yes. If you didn’t already know this, my brother adored you and he isn’t like the other Zanetti men. Hell, he’s like no other man that I know. He always tries to help my mom with the dishes, or dinner, anything actually. As a boy, his favorite thing was to help Mom make cookies. Daddy would always tell him to watch whatever sports were on television with him, but he enjoyed that time with Mom. And even as an adult, he hates to see her work so much around the house. He’s a good guy. I don’t think that I’m telling you anything that you don’t already know.”

  “No, you’re not.” She really wasn’t. For despite the doubt that scared her that day, she knew deep down that he wasn’t like that. “But that wasn’t the only thing that scared me. The two of you said some other things that day.” She still felt the chill their words sent through her.

  “I know, and I’m so sorry. We were honestly worried that Dom was too young to be rushing into marriage when he needed to focus on his hockey. We loved you, but Anna thought maybe you weren’t serious enough about hockey the way our family is.” She hesitated, then cleared her throat. “When we told you he’d have to work hard to make it in hockey, and he would need your support, we were telling the truth. A marriage and responsibilities so young would’ve made things difficult for him just starting out. We’ve seen it happen. Rookies marry their high school sweethearts, then the stress of hockey takes its toll and the marriage doesn’t even last their first year in the minors. Then the guy’s career spirals down until he’s finished and out of the game. We didn’t want that to happen to Dom, so we felt we had to warn you.”

  “And what about when you told me he deserved a woman who came from a hockey family, who understood all about the game?”

  “I’m sorry about that, it was unforgivable. We just thought it would make you want to learn more about the game, be more involved. We wanted you to learn how to skate and come out on the ice with us. Be one of us.” She sighed. “We didn’t realize at the time was how involved you really were in your own way. Dom told us about all your paintings of hockey and him on the ice.”

  Hailee had no words. Her heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears and she felt faint.

  Rosa continued. “But then when you didn’t accept Dom’s proposal, and you didn’t even stick around, we thought we’d proved a point. We told ourselves that you couldn’t have really loved him, that you weren’t prepared to support his hockey career, and he was better off.”

  Hailee wanted to snap at Rosa, but she kept her voice as even as she could. “I left because I did love him. Because I would never want to hurt his career, or make him choose me and my career over his.”

  “I understand that now. What we said was wrong, and you have to believe I regret it every time I see him. Do you still love him?”

  “I don’t think it makes any difference now. There’s no chance of us being together again.”

  “I’m not going to tell you to get back together with him. But I just wanted to clear that up, so you’d see the real Dom and not the picture of him that I painted for you, because it wasn’t real.”

  “This is a lot of information to digest.” But now it was too late. Dominic was finished with her. “Rosalie, why are you telling me this now?”

  “I saw my brother tonight. He looks great, except that sparkle of life that was always in his eyes when he was with you is gone. His smile is still wonderful, but flat. He’s missing part of himself, and I believe that part is you. Remember, I’m not trying to be a matchmaker. I just want him to be happy.”

  That’s all Hailee ever wanted too, for Dominic to be happy. Now neither of them was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Dominic

  “So, did you get to talk to her?” Kris asked, as Dom prepared for morning skate. Dom downed an energy shot, hoping to feel better. His head was pounding from the lack of sleep the night before.

  “Dude, do you ever learn?” Kaden punched him in the arm harder than necessary.

  “What the hell, dude?” He was not in the mood for this. His interaction with Hailee had him tossing and turning all night long. The alcohol he drank didn’t help much either. “Yeah, I
talked to her. I told her I’m done with the games.”

  “So, it’s over? No more lunches or nights at The Cat House?” Patrick chimed in.

  “Am I really everyone’s entertainment for the morning? We do have practice to get ready for, you know.” His voice was harsh as he snapped at the guys. “Look, I can’t keep doing this. I’m not going to follow her around like a long lost puppy dog. She left for whatever reason that handful of years ago, and she meant for it to stay that way. Hooking up at the wedding was a mistake.”

  He didn’t really feel that way; seeing her again was what he needed. The way she left was the mistake. The heartache he felt all over again was the mistake. Maybe it all was a mistake. But he wasn’t a wuss and wasn’t going to start acting like it now.

  Pat frowned at him. “So, what? You never found out why she left?”

  Dom rolled his eyes. “Actually, I did. She left because she didn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.”

  “Huh?”

  “My family is very traditional in their gender roles. My sisters got in her ear about what would be expected of a Mrs. Zanetti.”

  “Dude,” Kaden said, looking around at the guys. “He’s not joking. His dad is all like, ‘Cooking is women’s work. Whiskey drinking is men’s work.’ I could dig it.”

  “You should tell that idea to Paige, Ty,” Pat said with a smirk.

  “Yeah, and get myself moved straight into the spare bedroom.” Tyler walked into the conversation. “So you two did hook up at the wedding?”

  “I’m only going to say this one more time. We hooked up. It was fucking amazing. But it’s over. It wasn’t anything more than one night.”

  “Do you want it to be more than one night?” Tyler asked. “Because I have to tell you, if you need advice on how to win her over, I have some killer wooing skills.”

  “Er, you only got Paige because of the wooing techniques I suggested,” Kris said.

  “You? Bullshit, cuz,” Pat said, shoving Kris away. “It was all me.”