Shutout (The Renegades Series Book 5)

by Melody Heck Gatto

  A wet tongue slobbered on her cheek, bringing her out of her thoughts and back into reality.

  “Are you going to answer that?” Alison asked, staring at the buzzing phone. It was the most she’d said to her all day.

  “No.”

  “Can we turn it off then? It’s freaking out some of the dogs.”

  “Why did you talk to him?” Hailee blurted out without any thought.

  “What?” Alison stopped what she was doing and directed her attention to Hailee. Surprise showed on Alison’s face but Hailee could see the guilt behind it.

  “Once I had enough to open the gallery, I was quitting the club. It wasn’t any of his business.”

  “Hay, why are you so upset? I didn’t do anything wrong. Plus, you’re getting everything you ever wanted with this paintings deal. Who cares where or who it came from?”

  “If you didn’t think it was wrong, then why didn’t you tell me that you talked to him? I thought you were my friend. You knew it was important to me to do this by myself.”

  “Now come on, Hailee. I am your friend and you know that. I only wanted to help.” Alison closed her eyes for a second and exhaled deeply. “Look, yes, I talked to him. He called me asking for my help. He still loves you and it was never his plan to move on. I started telling him about your pride and the plans for the gallery.”

  “And the website.”

  “Yes, and the website. Look, I didn’t think it would hurt anything. He’s a good guy.”

  “That doesn’t mean he had to swoop in and buy all my paintings. I don’t need his pity.”

  “Hailee, didn’t he explain? He didn’t swoop the way you put it, and he didn’t do anything out of pity. He just reached out to his contacts.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “As far as I know, there were many buyers. He knows people. He was able to get your name out to buyers we had no hopes of reaching. It’s called networking. Isn’t that your ultimate goal? I just thought Dom could fast track things. You know I’d do anything to get you to quit The Cat House and get you out of that shitty neighborhood.”

  Hailee didn’t answer. What was she going to say? She hadn’t given Dom much chance to explain, and if everything Ali said was true, Dominic hadn’t really done anything wrong, so why was she so upset?

  “Hailee, why does it even bother you so much? He just wants to help. And before you open your mouth with the barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making pies comments, hear me out. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness. Sometimes it’s exactly what we need. Offering help isn’t trying to be in control of that other person. People offer help to get you to where you need to be so you can help yourself. Dom came up with a way to help get you started, short of handing you the cash himself. Yes, it was to fast track your business plan, but why should you have to wait years for something you want so much? He cares about you and wants you to succeed.”

  “But—”

  “I’m not done. He loves you. People do things for the ones they love. Period. He has no ulterior motive. He’s head over heels in love with you. I swear, you are the only one who can’t see it!” Alison let out a loud, frustrated sigh.

  Hailee handed the Bassett Hound off to the girl drying and styling. She wiped off all the fur that stuck to her hands and arms with a towel. Once she was done, she put her hands on her hips and tilted her head. “Are you done now?”

  “No.”

  “Alison, what else is there to say?”

  “You still love him.”

  Hailee dropped her arms to her sides. She had no quick response to Alison; she had no response at all. She looked over at her phone that had stopped buzzing, then back at her friend. Why do I have to make such drama out of everything? Am I really so determined to be alone that I’m willing to risk losing him by continually pushing him away?

  “I knew it.”

  Hailee sunk down into the chair behind the reception desk. “Ali, what the hell is the matter with me?”

  “You’re scared.” Alison secured a pink bandana around the neck of a wiener dog.

  “Scared? Of what?”

  “Of being happy.”

  “That’s ridiculous. Everyone wants to be happy.”

  Alison set the dog in Hailee’s lap. “Listen to me. It’s time you faced facts. What Dom’s sisters said to you was awful, but you didn’t even fight back. You took every word to heart and did a disappearing act.” She put her hand up, stopping Hailee’s argument. “Why? Why would my fierce friend just roll over and leave the man she loves because of what they said?”

  “What do you mean? They told me that I’d be expected to give up my dreams and stay home to look after the family.”

  “And we know that’s a load of bullshit. What else did they say?”

  Hailee struggled to swallow, her mouth suddenly dry. She’d wanted a fresh start after arriving in Pittsburgh, and it had been too painful to think about, so she’d stuck with her story and never admitted everything to Alison. “That he was too young to get married.”

  Alison raised one eyebrow. “And? What else?”

  Hailee could feel the blood draining out of her face. Her words came out little more than a whisper. “That I’d ruin his career if I stayed with him. That he needed to focus on the game and not on me. They even told me he deserved someone better, a girl who understood his world.”

  Alison folded her arms across her chest. “Exactly. You never believed that he expected you to give up your dream to follow him around like an obedient puppy, pushing out babies. That just became your perfect excuse for pushing him away.”

  Hailee shook her head. “That’s not—”

  “The truth? The truth is, you were afraid that if you stayed with him, that you’d hold him back, and Dom would end up losing his dream. You gave up being with him so that he had a chance to succeed in hockey.” She stopped to take a breath. “You wanted everyone to think you couldn’t bear to give up your dream. But the truth is, you sacrificed being with the man you loved for his dream, not yours. I’m right, aren’t I?”

  Hailee stared at her friend, tears pooling in her eyes. The words fell heavily on her heart, making it hard to breathe. How in the hell did Ali manage to hit every single nail on the head?

  Alison huffed. “I knew it. I know how your mind works.”

  Hailee swiped a tear away, and met Alison’s gaze. “Ali, you have no idea how hard it is for someone to make it into a PHL team. He lived for hockey, and he had his family hockey legacy to live up to. I couldn’t risk staying and him end up hating me for ruining his chances for success.”

  Alison put her arm around Hailee’s shoulders. “I get that. I really do. There’s no way of ever knowing what would’ve happened if you’d stayed. That’s all in the past. But things are different now. Dom’s hockey career is going great. He’s living his dream. So why are you still sabotaging having a relationship with him?”

  “What? I’m not.” I totally am.

  “You keep pushing him away. You want to know what I think?”

  “I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.” Hailee sighed.

  Alison ignored her. “I think what his sisters said about him finding someone better has dug so far down inside you, that you believe it. Either that, or you’re punishing yourself. You think after what you did to him, you deserve to stand by and get your own heart broken as you watch him get with someone else.”

  “Alison, please—” How could Alison possibly know her so well?

  “You pushed him away. You wanted him to move on. Then you stalked him to see photos of him with bunnies, even though it hurt you, as if somehow that would prove that he was looking for someone more suitable. But wake up, Hailee.” Alison gave her a little shake. “He doesn’t want anyone else. He doesn’t want you to change and be someone you’re not. You are what he wants, just how you are. Dom isn’t going to make you do anything you don’t want to.” Alison looked at her with a smile. “I’m pretty sure he knows you would kick his ass, and
then send him into the kitchen to make pies.”

  Alison’s comment was ridiculous, but it made her smile. “He is pretty cute in an apron. Not to mention handy in the kitchen. He makes a mean sugar cookie.”

  “I’ll take your word on the apron, but I volunteer to taste test cookies anytime.”

  Hailee took a deep breath. “I need to see where all the paintings are going. I doubt that I can pay everyone back, but maybe I can try. But I need to know…” Her plan to pay everyone back was ridiculous and not very practical. And also, impossible.

  “Oh my God, Hailee, haven’t you been listening to a word I’ve said?”

  “What?” She let her shoulders droop, too tired to keep holding them up. “You’re right, Alison. About everything. I felt like I was living in a void after I left him. Focusing on getting my gallery up and running was the only way I could get through the days. I always wanted to paint and have my own gallery. But that dream became my lifeline. I was proud of my work, and finally to have got where I wanted to be. Now I just feel like I’ve achieved my dream under false pretenses.”

  “Don’t start with that. Nobody forced anyone to buy your paintings.”

  “But you said you aren’t sure how many buyers there were. What if he actually bought them all? Or twisted people’s arms to buy them? I can’t let him―”

  “If you’re still stuck on not wanting to be the cause of him sacrificing anything for you, forget it. You know how much money the PHL players make, right? It’s not like he couldn’t afford to help you start up your gallery, or buy a few of your paintings.”

  “That’s not it. I just don’t want pity money. I don’t want him to buy my art just to help me out.”

  “Hailee, how many paintings of you and him have you kept? Ones that mean something to you, that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to let go of?”

  She shrugged. “A few. But what’s that got to do with anything?”

  “Why is it so hard for you to believe that he might also want to keep some paintings of you and him from back when you were together? He loved you — loves you — and he probably wants reminders of happier times with you.”

  Hailee paused, thinking. Maybe Alison was right. But she couldn’t let this go. Not until she had all the answers. “I just need to know, that’s all.”

  Alison huffed. “How is that going to help you? He’ll never let you pay him back.”

  She knew that. “I don’t know exactly. I just need to see.” Maybe I just need to know which ones he kept for himself.

  Hailee took a deep breath before checking her phone.

  Dom: Hailee?

  Dom: Hailee, talk to me.

  Dom: Look, whatever it is you think I was trying to do for you, I wasn’t.

  Dom: Why won’t you just talk to me?

  Dom: Are you still worried about being kept in the kitchen? Because we don’t even have to have a kitchen. I’m good with take out. But I still do need some kind of coffee maker. A French Press is fine.

  Dom: Maybe a microwave too?

  Dom: Look, we need to talk this out. I’m not sure what you’re upset about. I thought you’d be happy with what I did. Well, I hoped.

  Dom: I’ll be right here waiting for you to realize that I was just trying to do what any boyfriend would do for their girl. Show support in her business endeavor and want her to succeed.

  Dom: You know where to find me.

  Dom: And please don’t be mad at Alison. It’s not her fault.

  “Look,” Ali said from over her shoulder. “Don’t be mad at Alison.”

  “I can read, Ali.” She shoved her gently and gave a small smile.

  “I have an idea.” Alison grabbed Hailee’s phone and hit CALL.

  “What are you doing?” Hailee tried without success to grab her phone back.

  “Dom, it’s me, Ali.” She switched the phone to speakerphone before continuing. “I have you on speaker and Hailee is right here.”

  Dominic was silent.

  “You still there, Dom?” Alison asked.

  “Yeah, I’m here.”

  “Good. I need to ask you. Did you pay for all of the paintings yourself?” Alison kept her eyes trained on Hailee as she spoke.

  “Not this again.” Dominic groaned. “No. My agent would’ve ripped me a new one if I had spent that much. But I did buy some of them. He wasn’t thrilled that I dropped as much as I did, but it’s my money.”

  “Which paintings did you keep for yourself?” Alison asked.

  “Well… There were a few I recognized from back when we… from before Hailee moved away. I didn’t want those going into an office somewhere.”

  Alison gave Hailee a pointed look. “And what about the others?”

  “I bought them mainly for charities I work with, like group homes and facilities for kids. They love hockey, I mean, it’s Canada. The donations were welcomed and appreciated. But I did show the paintings to guys on the team, and they were in touch with their contacts as well, other influential people who decided to buy them for themselves. People with deep pockets. In the end, we had tons of interest in the paintings. My agent organized all of the orders and contacted you. Those sales were legit. Call my agent. He’ll tell you.”

  “You mean Mr. McKnight?” Hailee knew something had been fishy with this whole thing. Why she hadn’t thought of him first was beyond her.

  “Hi Hailee.” He paused. “Yes, he’s my agent. McKnight was the contact everyone who was interested coordinated with. Some of the guys who work with organizations also jumped in. But call him, he can tell you all of this.”

  “Dominic—” Hailee spoke, but he cut her off.

  “Look, I have practice. I have to go. Hailee, I’m not sorry that I helped you out. But it was an innocent business transaction, not an attempt to control you or take pity on you, or whatever it is you’ve gotten into your head. But if you can’t see that I care about you and you still think I’m that kind of man, then maybe we aren’t meant to be together after all.”

  The phone went silent and his photo disappeared off the screen. “He hung up,” Alison said, before handing the phone back to Hailee. “Give me a minute.” Alison disappeared into the office.

  Hailee’s head was spinning. Propping her elbows up on the counter, she let her heavy head fall into her hands. Did he really think they were better off apart? Were they?

  Everything Alison had said to her, all the difficult and bitter truths she’d denied for the past three years, swirled around in her mind. Had she done the right thing leaving him in the first place? She would never know. Was she still so unsure of herself that she was subconsciously pushing him to find someone else? Did she still believe she deserved the pain of her broken heart, punishing herself after what she did to him? Did her pride have to stop her from ever accepting anyone’s help? She was confused and weary.

  It felt like forever before Alison returned. “Hey sad face, what are you thinking about?”

  “Maybe he’s right. Maybe we’d never work.”

  “Shut up already, will you? We both know that you hate being seen as a damsel in distress. So act like your stubborn ass self and fix this. Look at this fax.” Alison handed her some papers.

  “What is that?”

  “I just talked to Mr. McKnight. This is the list of buyers.”

  “But, how did you—”

  “I told him I was your business manager and we needed this for our records. Plus, it was only ever kept from you so you wouldn’t act like this.” Alison pointed at Hailee and made a round motion with her finger. She laid the list down on the counter so they could look it over. “You know, like a crazy person, and try to return all of the money.”

  Most of the paintings were bought by people she’d never heard of, but they were pricey, so these must be wealthy folks.

  “McKnight said most of these names are affluent people who have those super expensive seats at the games. The ones that just say ‘Renegades’ were purchased by the team to furnish company owned
venues. You know, like offices in the arena and the practice facility.”

  She searched the list, looking at every name. The names on this list were the people who bought her paintings, not Dom. Granted, he did purchase a few, the ones of the two of them, and one of him skating, but not enough to make her act like such an ass to him.

  Her stomach ached and a lump formed in her throat. Why am I so determined to stand in my own way? Alison was right about everything. I’ve been setting myself up to fail with Dom, wanting to punish myself. But I’ve only ended up hurting him again.

  Somewhere deep down she wanted them to work. Her heart ached because she missed him. She wanted to be with him. And now that her dream was taking shape, she knew her fears and worries were baseless. It didn’t change the fact that she had acted like an ass to him.

  She could make this work. He had proven himself time and time again; she’d been too hardheaded to realize it until now. He would be busy with hockey and she would be busy making a name for herself in the art world, not to mention helping up and coming artists break into it. But she wanted to be with him. If it meant moving to a new city, then she’d deal with it. Businesses could be moved, and new galleries opened. Besides, the website would always be operating.

  There was no guarantee how exactly their lives would all end up, but the warmth in her heart told her she would be okay no matter what life handed them. As long as she had Dominic. Now she just needed to find a way to show him she was serious and get him back.

  Alison slapped her hand on the table. “Hailee, I have an idea. Interested?”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Hailee

  Hailee’s heart raced, and her palms were clammy as she walked into the Rivers Arena. The warm weather had little to do with her perspiring. Tonight was game six of the Cup finals. Am I really doing this? Her stomach flopped. What if he can’t forgive me? Her fingers gripped the sign she’d brought so tightly that they started to go numb. Her body trembled and she fell back in the crowd. Alison grabbed her arm.

  “You okay? You’re not thinking about backing out, are you?”