Cowboy Sing Me Home

by Harris, Kim Hunt

  Luke didn’t know what she had up her sleeve, but Melinda could be a real drama queen when she wanted to be. And it looked like right now she wanted nothing more than the attention of everyone in the room.

  He glanced at Dusty to see how she was handling this. She merely eyed Melinda with that same cool disdain she gave everyone else, but she pulled away from him. “It sounds like you need to talk to the girl, Cowboy.”

  Luke shook his head. No way was he going to let one of Melinda’s scenes ruin their night together. “Melinda, I’m a little busy right now. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  Melinda was a good six inches shorter than he, so it took some doing for her to look down her nose at him, but she gave it her best shot. “You can talk to me now, or you can talk to me later. You’ve got plenty of time. Nine whole months of it.” She lifted her brows and crossed her arms over her chest.

  Nine months. As soon as he heard those words, Luke felt as if he’d been sucked into a soundless void. He could see Melinda, could see her mouth moving and her smirking face. He could see Dusty, from the corner of his eye. But it was all far removed from him.

  Someone else’s voice coming from his mouth asked in a cold, detached voice. “What are you talking about?”

  He knew what her answer would be. Knew it with a dread certainty. But until the words actually came out, it wasn’t real.

  “I’m pregnant, Luke. With your baby.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Luke’s blood pounded at his temples as he followed Melinda up the walk to her house. He kept telling himself this was real, this was really happening. But he just couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

  Pregnant. A baby.

  Once he got her out of Tumbleweeds, Melinda put her dramatics on hold and clammed up. She kept clearing her throat and twisting her necklace, her arms crossed at her waist like she was already protecting her child.

  His child. As soon as he cleared her front door, Luke suggested they sit down to talk. He didn’t think it was good for the baby for Melinda to be so nervous, and he wasn’t entirely sure his own legs would hold him up much longer.

  She sat on the end of the couch, leaving him room to sit beside. Instead, he sat on the ottoman across from her. She bit her lower lip and blinked a few times.

  More fearful of a crying jag than anything else, Luke reached for her hand. “It’s going to be okay.” That sounded too general, but in this dazed state, it was all he could think of.

  She cleared her throat and twisted her necklace.

  “Have you seen a doctor?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet, I have an appointment tomorrow. But don’t worry. I took three different pregnancy tests. They were all definitely positive.”

  “How far along are you?”

  She cleared her throat again. “I’m not sure exactly. Probably about six weeks.” She narrowed her eyes and pulled her hand free. “Why? You’re not going to try and say it’s not yours, are you?”

  He leaned back. “Of course not.” The thought hadn’t even occurred to him. He and Melinda had dated for almost four months. They hadn’t been together in the past month, but that still fit in her time frame.

  She eased back a little. “Good. Well…”

  “Well.” He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye, but he couldn’t seem to look away, either. “Are you feeling okay?”

  She chewed her lip and her eyes darted around the room before she looked back at him. “I’ve had morning sickness pretty bad. And I passed out, at my sister’s house.”

  His heart stopped beating. “Passed out? Like fainted? And you didn’t go to the doctor?”

  “It’s okay, it happens all the time when you’re pregnant.”

  “Corinne never passed out when she was pregnant with Cade.”

  “So, it happens. And I really did pass out.”

  “You’d better go to the doctor tomorrow. Make sure everything’s okay.” What if something was wrong with the baby already?

  “Can you take me? I get dizzy sometimes and I’m afraid I’ll run off the road.”

  “Yes, of course I’ll take you. You get dizzy? That can’t be good.”

  She smiled and reached for his hands again. “You’re so sweet to be concerned about me.”

  He actually opened his mouth to say he was concerned about the baby, but good sense kicked in at the last second and he said instead, “Of course I’m concerned.”

  They stared at each other across their linked hands, and he reminded himself to breathe. “So, what are we going to do?”

  “What do you mean, what are we going to do? We’re going to have a baby, that’s what we’re going to do.”

  He took another deep breathe and reminded himself she was in a delicate condition and emotional. Of course, she’d been a drama queen before she ever became pregnant, but still… “Yes, we’re going to have a baby. But… I mean…” He didn’t know what he meant anymore. He still couldn’t quite bend his mind around the idea of it.

  “I’d like to set the date right away,” she said. “I don’t want to walk down the aisle with a big belly.”

  Luke’s mouth fell open. “The date?”

  “Yes. Probably within the month.” She heaved a great sigh. “I won’t get to have my dream wedding, but I suppose that can’t be helped.”

  “The date,” he said again, stupidly.

  She lifted her chin. “You know, you could do something besides just sit there and say ‘the date, the date.’ I’m not expecting you to whip out an engagement ring, but I don’t think a bended knee would hurt you any, considering.”

  “But… we can’t get married.” Just the word filled him with cold dread.

  She let go of his hands and dropped back against the couch. “Why not?’

  “Because I don’t –” Again, common sense stepped in and kept him from saying ‘I don’t love you.’ “We don’t – we never planned –”

  “I never planned to get pregnant, Luke Tanner. I didn’t plan on throwing up every morning, or getting fat ankles and stretch marks. You told me you used protection.”

  “I did use protection and you know it.” Which evidently didn’t work. Dear God, a baby and married?

  Suddenly, irrationally the image of Dusty leapt into his mind. Dusty, with her cool blonde hair and warm green eyes. If he were going to marry anyone…

  He looked at Melinda, at the tears brimming in her eyes, and was filled with shame. He’d been called a lot of things, from a womanizer to an all-out jerk, and he’d always prided himself on knowing that, whatever his reputation, he never treated a woman with anything less than honor and respect. But now he felt like every one of those things he was called, and worse.

  He put a hand on Melinda’s knee.

  She pushed it aside, blinking her eyes rapidly. “Oh. My. God. You’re not going to marry me?” Her chest heaved with her rapid breath and her eyes darted around the room again. “What am I going to do? I can’t raise a baby alone. I can’t!”

  He tried to pat her again, feeling clumsy and idiotic. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re not alone. I’m here. I’ll be here. We’ll be equal partners.”

  “Oh, shut up! You’ll be here until the first time you have to change a stinky diaper or get spit up on. Once the new has worn off, you’ll be gone and I’ll be lucky to get you to babysit once in a while. Everyone will stare, the gossips at the beauty shop will have a field day. Look at poor Melinda Brownlow, unwed mother at her age.”

  “Melinda, it’s not that bad. I swear we can work something out. I’m not going to leave you holding the bag, I promise.”

  “I’ll have to get an abortion.”

  Every drop of blood in Luke’s veins froze. “What?”

  “I’ll have to. I can’t be a single mother, Luke. I can’t handle all that on my own.”

  “If you’d just listen me… you’re not on your own. I’ll be here. I’ll help out with everything, whatever you need.
”

  “You won’t marry me, so you won’t have to stay when things get tough. And no other man will ever marry me, either, because no one wants to raise someone else’s child.”

  “Then let me raise the baby,” he said desperately, knowing it was a crazy idea even as he said it.

  “And let the entire county call me a monster for giving up my own child?” She sniffed. “Besides, I couldn’t live without my baby.” She put one hand to her stomach and turned swimming eyes up to his. “If you refuse to marry me, I’ll have to get an abortion.”

  “Then let’s get married.” The decision was instant and agonizing, like intentionally jumping on a train bound for a place he desperately did not want to go. But he knew without a doubt he could not let her abort his child. “Let’s get married.”

  She swallowed and blinked. “Are you sure?”

  He nodded, although he was not sure at all and felt like he was one breath away from drowning. He slid to one knee before her and gripped her hands. “Marry me.”

  She smiled and threw her arms around his neck. “Oh, Luke. You won’t be sorry. Everything’s going to be great, I promise.”

  If she noticed that he didn’t return her hug, she didn’t say anything. He knelt on the floor and tolerated her arms around his neck, her tears on his shirt, and reminded himself that it was the woman’s right to choose. His mother had always told him that, and he’d grown up believing that. But it took everything he had not to recoil at Melinda’s touch, everything he had not to be reviled by this woman who had just threatened to kill his child.

  He tried to push the thought aside, reminded himself that if he had any decency in him at all he would be proud to stand up and do his duty. But all he could feel was manipulated, and horrified that the woman in his arms had just threatened her own flesh and blood to force him.

  Not her fault, he reminded himself as he pulled away from her. She’d trusted him to not get her pregnant. And he couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be a single mother. A child needed two parents.

  He forced himself to hold her hands in his, although her touch made him cringe. When she turned her face up for a kiss, he couldn’t do it. He turned away and pretended he didn’t know that was what she was after.

  He gave her a quick brotherly hug and stood. He had to get out of there. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and if she kept looking at him with that hero worship in her eyes, he was going to crawl right out of his skin. “Okay then. That’s settled.”

  She laughed. “You don’t have to look so nervous. People get married all the time.”

  He forced a smile. “Cold feet already. Don’t worry, though. It’s going to be okay.”

  “Where are you going?” She frowned and stood when he did.

  “I have to go to the office.” It wasn’t his night to work, but if he said he was going home, she’d just try and get him to stay. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “You’re going to propose and then just leave?”

  “I’m sorry. But I have to go.”

  She put her hands on her hips and her lip curled. “You’re going back to that tramp already, aren’t you?”

  Luke had to count to twenty before he trusted himself to speak. When he did, he spoke slowly and carefully. “Don’t ever call her that again.”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again when she saw the look in his eyes.

  “I will call you tomorrow.” He fought to keep his voice even, to keep this situation from getting any worse.

  She hugged her waist. “Will you, Luke?”

  She looked suddenly so lost and unsure that he pitied her. She was as unnerved by this situation as he was, and needed his reassurance. Surely he could give her that much. “I said I would.”

  Her eyes filled with tears again. “You’re going to leave and change your mind. You’re going to decide you don’t want to marry me.”

  “Melinda.” He gripped her shoulders, wanting to be anywhere but here. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to have to trust me.”

  “I wish you could stay here, just for tonight. Can’t you get someone else to work for you? It’s been a long time since we’ve been together.”

  She turned those pretty blue eyes up at him, but the thought of sleeping with her left him cold, and again the image of Dusty popped into his mind. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”

  She followed him to the door, and he was acutely aware of the fact that he was leaving her with less reassurance than she needed, but he didn’t know what else to say that wasn’t an outright lie.

  “Why don’t you call your mom and have her come stay with you tonight, so you won’t have to be alone?”

  She wiped tears from her check, then nodded. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

  “Are you going to be okay? You’re feeling all right?”

  She nodded and reached for him. “I’d feel better if you’d stay.”

  He held her, forcing himself not to fidget, then stepped away. He gave her a quick peck on the forehead before he stepped off the porch. “Get some sleep.”

  She smiled and nodded. “I’m going to need it. I have a wedding to plan.”

  He made himself return the smile. He got into his pickup and drove to the office. He thought of all the men he knew who had left their wives, left their kids without support, or the ones who supported them financially, but in no other way. He’d always thought of those men as complete losers, too weak to do the right thing. He thought of a couple of them who’d simply left, got in their cars and just drove away.

  It chilled him to realize how close he was to being that kind of man.

  He spent the night at the office. It wasn’t his turn, but he didn’t want to go home, and if he drove around he would just end up out at Dusty’s trailer, where he was supposed to be right now.

  She was the last thing on his mind when he finally fell asleep, and the first thing he thought of when he woke up on the cot in the second cell. That fact alone compounded his already-heavy guilt. He had no business thinking of another woman. Not now.

  He sat on the edge of the bunk and held his face in his hands, feeling hung over though he’d had nothing to drink. He couldn’t face Dusty, he realized with shame. They were supposed to rehearse for the Jubilee this morning, but he simply could not do it. He couldn’t look at her until he was sure he could do so without making a complete ass of himself. And that definitely wasn’t going to happen today.

  She’d given him the number to her cell phone. He could call her and cancel. He looked at the clock, realizing it was later than he thought, and she was probably out at Tumbleweeds. He used the phone in the front office to call out there.

  “Rodney, is Dusty out there yet?”

  “Yeah, she’s here, let me –”

  “Wait!” Luke cleared his throat and licked his lips. “Just… just give her a message, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  Luke cleared his throat again. “Tell her…tell her I’m not going to be able to rehearse with her this morning, for the Jubilee. Tell her we’ll just do the same songs we did yesterday.”

  “Sure, no problem. Hey Dusty,” Rodney said. “Luke says –”

  Luke put the receiver down. He didn’t think he could handle hearing her voice right now.

  He moved through his day by rote, going over his patrol, checking out the street carnival, getting lunch for Kenny and taking care of business. His mind rotated between two things: Dusty, and the baby.

  His mother invited him to dinner before the Jubilee that evening. He started to decline, then realized he was putting off the inevitable. They had to know they were going to have a grandchild. They had to know they were going to be attending his wedding soon. Might as well get it over with.

  Luke cleared his throat for the third time in five minutes and bit into mashed potatoes he couldn’t taste.

  Finally, his dad turned to him and growled. “Would you just spit it out so we can get it out in the open?”

  “Claude, d
on’t you talk to him that way!” His mother glared across her corned beef at Luke’s dad. “He’ll tell us when he gets ready.”

  “You know already.” Luke sat back in his chair, not sure if he was irritated that he couldn’t keep his business to himself for twenty-four straight hours, or relieved that he hadn’t had to break the news to them himself.

  “Of course we do,” Claude said. “What, did you think you were going to keep a secret in this town?”

  “For a day, I hoped.”

  “We probably knew before you did,” his mother said. “But we just heard rumors. We tried not to form any opinions until we heard the truth from you.”

  “We heard you knocked the girl up and were going to get married.”

  “Don’t you be vulgar at my dinner table.” Helen Tanner slapped her hand on the table.

  “Fine.” Claude picked up his plate and carried it to the living room. A moment later, they heard the television come on.

  Helen bit her lip and reached for Luke’s hand. “Okay, out with it. What’s going on?”

  “She’s pregnant.” It still hadn’t sunk in for him. They’d been so careful… but then, he knew that no birth control was one hundred percent.

  “I take it from the look on your face, this isn’t a happy surprise.”

  Luke wasn’t sure yet what he felt. Shock. Dismay. Guilt over both. He was a grown man. He knew about actions and consequences.

  He just could not reconcile himself to the idea of marrying Melinda. He had to.

  His mind had spun all night, and he’d finally decided that he would have to stop thinking about it and just do it. “The idea is going to take some getting used to, I guess.”

  “Are you really going to marry her?”

  His words of the previous night came back to him, and with them the same sick feeling. He nodded a head that felt heavy and empty on his shoulders. “I suppose I am. I’m sorry you had to hear it from someone else, Ma.”

  Helen waved that regret away with one hand. “It doesn’t matter. I just want you to be sure this is what you want to do.”