Epistle of the Damned

by M. Lee Mendelson

  “I have a terrible headache. Do you have any aspirin?”

  “I do have some in my purse . . . here you go, dear.”

  “Thank you, you’ve been very kind.”

  After several hours, Yvonne again exited the room. “I haven’t made any more headway with her. I’m afraid she’ll shut down further if we push her more today. The only thing she’s been asking for is her parents, Dr. and Mrs. Henry and Rebecca Porter.”

  “Rebecca Porter? That’s her mother? Oh man, I know Rebecca very well. I’ll contact them immediately,” Bobby said.

  Half an hour later, Henry and Rebecca rushed into the station.

  Rebecca shouted, “WHERE’S MY DAUGHTER?”

  “Mrs. Porter, I’m Detective Pell. Please calm down and have a seat.”

  “Oh yes, of course Detective. Bobby, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I remember you from that aggravated battery case last year. What about my daughter?”

  “Of course, ma’am. Meredith is safe and secure. She’s with Dr. Stark and is relaxing right now in the office.”

  “Oh good, Yvonne is with her? That makes me feel better. She is really good.”

  Bobby proceeded to explain what they knew so far.

  Yvonne came out and spoke to Henry and Rebecca. “Hello, Rebecca. I’m sorry we’re meeting again under these circumstances. I think it’s a good idea if she goes home with you tonight. We aren’t going to question her anymore. I believe she’s suffering from an acute stress reaction. I’ve prescribed her some sedatives to help her relax. I’ll check in throughout the day tomorrow to see how she’s doing.”

  Henry asked, “Where’s Michael?”

  Bobby explained what he could. “At this time, we have not identified the subject in the house, but we have reason to believe that it is her husband, Michael Carson. We’ll know more when the Medical Examiner finishes the autopsy. Meanwhile, if you can, keep an eye on Meredith for us. When the doctor says she’s ready, we’ll want to talk to her.”

  Rebecca broke down in tears. “No, not Mike! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! HENRY, NO!”

  Henry held her tightly and the two took several minutes to gather themselves. Yvonne spoke to them before she let them in to see Meredith.

  When Henry and Rebecca had regained their composure, Yvonne went into the office with them. Meredith looked up, broke into tears and ran to her parents. “Mom? Dad?”

  Yvonne and Bobby escorted them out of the office to their car.

  Henry spoke to Yvonne. “Doctor, thank you. My wife said you are highly regarded. I hope you will be willing to help Meredith through this.”

  “It will be my pleasure, Dr. Porter. I’ve worked many cases with your wife; she is very highly regarded herself. Like I said, I’ll check in on Meredith throughout the day tomorrow. She’s traumatized right now. Here is my private number. Call me if she has any outbursts. Don’t question her about anything that happened right now. We risk shutting her down further if she’s pushed. She needs time to sort all of this out in her mind. We actually made more headway than I thought this afternoon. It normally takes several

  days for people in this state to come around.”

  “Thank you again. We’ll keep an eye on her.”

  When they got home, Henry escorted Meredith to her old bedroom. Rebecca made sure she took her medication and stayed with her until she finally fell asleep.

  When Rebecca climbed into bed, Henry was watching the news. The news was broadcasting about the event that had taken place at Mike and Meredith’s house earlier that morning.

  “. . . Officials aren’t releasing many details about the incident that has the normally quiet upscale community of Mossy Hammock quite upset. At this time, officials aren’t able to tell us much more than one person is dead and his identity has not been released, pending notification of family. We’ll continue watching this story. More details to follow as we get them.”

  Henry declared, “I can’t believe it! This can’t be happening.”

  Rebecca broke down again. “Oh Henry, what could have possibly gone wrong? Everything seemed to be going so well! They were so happy . . . he was so good to her. He did love her, didn’t he? We weren’t fooled, were we?”

  Henry replied, “He loved her, no doubt in my mind. There’s something much more to this than we may ever know, honey.” The two held each other tightly until they fell asleep.

  3:00 a.m. Henry and Rebecca were awakened to the sound of Meredith screaming, “NO, MICHAEL! PLEASE DON’T! I LOVE YOU. NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOO!”

  They both ran into Meredith’s room and held her, mindful not to ask any questions.

  The next morning, Dr. Stark called and spoke to Henry. Henry explained about the outburst at three o’clock.

  Dr. Stark asked, “Would it be okay if I came by and spent some time with her this afternoon?”

  Henry said, “That would be good. Yes, please do.”

  On day two, Henry received the disturbing phone call from Detective Pell. The Medical Examiner had made a positive ID on the body from the scene. It was the body of Michael Carson. It was confirmed by fingerprints and DNA.

  Henry asked, “Detective, what about his mother, Nancy? I don’t have the heart to tell her. She’ll be so distraught.”

  Bobby responded, “I understand, sir. I will take care of that. It’s part of what I need to do anyway. How is Meredith holding up, sir?”

  “She’s the same as far as we can tell. Dr. Stark is coming over this afternoon to spend some more time with her. Please—when you

  talk to Nancy, can you have her call us?”

  “I will pass on the message, Dr. Porter.”

  “Thank you, Detective.”

  After hanging up, Henry told Rebecca and they both wept bitterly, but dared not tell Meredith, not yet.

  After four days of Dr. Stark visiting Meredith at her parents’ home, she asked, “Meredith? I think the time has come for you to

  talk about what happened that night. Are you up for it?”

  Meredith responded, “I’ll try.”

  “Okay then, tomorrow I will meet with you in my office. Are you okay with that?”

  “That will be fine, Doctor.”

  “Detective Pell will be there, too. He’s going to want to speak with you. I’ll be there the whole time, okay?”

  Meredith gently responded, “Yes, that will be fine.”

  The next day in Dr. Stark’s office, Meredith, Detective Pell and Dr. Stark were all sitting in the conference room adjacent to her office.

  Before starting the meeting, Yvonne spoke privately to Bobby. “It’s imperative that you don’t push her. Let her speak at her own pace. I have no idea where she’ll begin, but you must just let her go.”

  “Luckily, things are sort of quiet in Major Crimes lately, so I’m in no rush.”

  Detective Pell had placed a tape recorder in the middle of the table. “Good afternoon, Meredith. I’m Detective Pell with the Dolphin County Sheriff’s Office. I want to thank you for taking the time to meet with us today. I know you’ve been through a lot, and I just want to let you know that we’re in no hurry. We need to talk about the incident that occurred at your house. Begin wherever you feel comfortable.”

  After several moments of silence, Meredith began by saying, “He was so beautiful. The perfect gentleman, the best husband anyone could ever ask for.”

  “Who’s that, ma’am?”

  “Mike, my Michael.”

  “Tell me a little about Mike.”

  Smiling, Meredith sighed and said, “I saw him the first time in college. He was with Frank.”

  Bobby asked, “Frank?”

  “Frank was the biggest, most obnoxious human being with the sweetest heart you could ever meet. A gentle giant. He was Mike’s best friend. We had the best marriage. Everything was going so well, until . . .”

  Meredith stopped and stared blankly at the wall. Bobby looked at Yvonne. Yvonne indicated for him to be patient. She asked,
“Meredith, would you like to take a break?”

  Meredith, as abruptly as she had stopped, began again. “Those two were inseparable.” She began to laugh as she recalled the many antics that Frank and Mike would get into.

  After a couple of hours, Yvonne stated that she believed that was enough for the day.

  “Detective, can I speak to you?”

  In the other room, Yvonne explained, “She’s actually doing quite well. But I know you want answers about that night. I propose you let me meet alone with her. I’ll video tape our sessions with her permission.

  She’s not crazy by any stretch of the imagination and is willing to cooperate, but she needs to sort out the events on her own. She is salvageable. I don’t want to lose her.”

  “Doc, do you believe she is in any way responsible for her husband’s death?”

  “Unequivocally, no. Her state of mind is not a result of guilt. This is someone who has lost everything in the world. She is every bit the victim, more so than her husband, I believe. Whatever pain caused him to kill himself is over for him, but hers will last long into her future. She’ll require a lot of therapy to move past this trauma.”

  “Okay Doc, I trust your judgment. You’ve never been wrong before. I’ll let you do your thing. Just let me know what you can.”

  “I will, but remember, Detective, I can only let you know what is relevant to your investigation. Please don’t ask me to compromise my doctor-patient confidentiality.”

  “Wouldn’t think of it, Doc. Okay, I will say my farewell to Mrs. Carson and leave her in your capable hands.” He moved back into the room, to Meredith.

  “Mrs. Carson, I want to thank you for coming in today. I will leave you my card. Should you have any questions, please feel free to call me.”

  Meredith said, “Thank you, Detective.”

  Dr. Stark said to Meredith, “Well, I think you did very well today. Can we meet again on Friday?”

  “Okay, Dr. Stark,” Meredith said. “I’ll be here.”

  Yvonne briefly met with Henry and Rebecca. “I just want to say that I think she’s making some good progress. She’s in a very fragile state still, but I think with enough time, we can get her back to the woman you knew before. Just be patient. We’ll get her there.”

  Henry replied, “Well, Doctor, your reputation precedes you. I just want to see my little girl smile again.”

  “You will, sir, I’m certain of it. But be forewarned, I sense some dark times ahead in the weeks and months to come. We’ll give her a few days off, and then I want to see her on Friday.”

  Rebecca said, “I’ll have her here, Yvonne. Thank you.”

  “Very good. Of course, you understand I can only reveal to you what she wants you to know.”

  Henry and Rebecca simultaneously affirmed that they understood.

  After Nancy was notified about what had happened, she spoke to Henry and Rebecca on the phone. Devastated, Nancy asked, “Why did this happen? My baby boy! What is happening? I can’t go on. . .

  Rebecca snapped at her, “Nancy, pull yourself together. We love you. We’ll take care of everything at this end. You just fly down. We’ll put you up in a hotel. We’ll get through this as a family.”

  Ashamedly, Nancy said, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Rebecca. How is Meredith? I’m so sorry this happened.”

  “She’s traumatized. We don’t even want her to know that we’re having a service for Mike.”

  “I certainly understand. Thank you for all you’re doing. I don’t think I could get through this alone.”

  “Just get here safely, dear. We’ll pick you up and figure this all out together.”

  After hanging up, Rebecca turned to her husband. “Oh Henry, that poor woman. How much tragedy can she endure? First her husband, and now Mike.”

  “She’s stronger than she looks, sweetheart. Yes, she has endured too much. But she’s family now, and we’ll look out for her as best we can.”

  “You’re a good man, Henry Porter. I love you so much.”

  “And I love you, my dear.”

  OPENING OLD WOUNDS

  F RIDAY, 12:00 P.M. Rebecca met with Dr. Stark first. She advised her that Meredith had been waking up screaming throughout the night. She would then get out of bed and wander the house till the wee hours of the morning. Rebecca noted that during the daytime hours, Meredith would just sit in her room and refuse to interact with her family or friends.

  Rebecca revealed they were having Mike’s service that afternoon. Dr. Stark had advised Rebecca days before that she believed it would be detrimental for Meredith to attend the service since she was still in denial about Mike’s death. In the future, when she is ready, they could have a separate, private memorial for him so Meredith could have closure. Dr. Stark cleared the afternoon so she could spend it with Meredith, and the family could attend the funeral. She hoped the extra time would help them make positive headway.

  “Good afternoon, Meredith. How are you feeling?”

  “Much better, thank you,” she responded.

  “Have you been able to sleep?”

  “Oh yes, I’m sleeping much better.”

  “Really, Meredith? Are you telling me the truth?”

  Meredith’s head sunk low. “No, Dr. Stark, things have not been so good.”

  “Meredith, if you want to get through this, and I believe you do, I need for you to just be open with me. I’m here to help you, dear.”

  “Okay, Doctor.”

  “Okay, I would like to try some relaxation techniques first.”

  After about twenty minutes, Meredith was feeling quite relaxed and comfortable. Yvonne asked if she would like to start off by talking about Mike.

  Meredith smiled wistfully and said, “Oh yes, I love talking about Mike. He’s so wonderful. I love him so much.”

  “Meredith, I know when you two got married you had something awful happen to Mike on your honeymoon. He had an accident and was sick for a while, is that correct?”

  Meredith’s countenance changed and she became distraught as she recalled the events that happened in Miami when Mike saved her from drowning and almost died himself as a result. “It was terrible. He almost died and it was all my fault. He saved me, but almost died trying.”

  Yvonne could see that these were very painful memories and that she would need to employ a less traditional method to achieve her goal for Meredith. Yvonne would sparingly use hypnosis in her practice as a means to help people relive painful events from their past. She preferred her patients face their realities head on, but in certain cases like this one, she would employ hypnosis as an aid. Yvonne understood the controversies over the use of hypnosis, but felt there was minimal risk to her patients.

  “Okay Meredith, I want to start by having you focus on the sound of my voice. I want you to relax and . . .”

  After several minutes, Meredith was relaxed and calm. Yvonne asked her to go back to the time of their honeymoon in Miami. Meredith relived the tragic event that almost took Mike’s life at the beach. Yvonne noted that Meredith was still struggling with guilt from the near-drowning incident, and she knew she would have to address this before she could help her deal with the suicide.

  “Okay Meredith, now I want you to go forward to the time after the honeymoon. You and Mike are home now.”

  Meredith became tranquil. She smiled as she was transported back to a happy time after their wedding.

  In March of 2006, Meredith came home exhilarated and told Mike some exciting news. “Honey, I’m leaving the District Attorney’s

  Office and going to work with my mama.”

  Mike laughed, “Going to the dark side, are ya? Good for you, sweetheart. What finally prompted that decision?”

  “Well, Allen is stepping down and retiring. He almost had me convinced to run for office. He would have endorsed my candidacy, but politics is not for me. Besides, you might be working there soon, and I would absolutely be guilty of nepotism if my sweet man came to work with me.”

&nb
sp; Mike smiled and said, “I think it’s a great idea and I support anything you want to do. I just want you to be happy.”

  “This was always my plan anyway,” she said. “I knew I would eventually go into private practice.”

  “Then I say go for it, my love. You deserve it.”

  Then Meredith fast forwarded to January 2008. Sheriff Hill did not run for office again, and Mike was leaving the Sheriff’s Department after nearly fourteen years of service. The timing was good and he was ready to pursue his goal of becoming a trial lawyer. Mike was hired by the new District Attorney, Ruben Greenberg. Ruben was a no-nonsense attorney and Mike enjoyed working for him. Mike was successful as a prosecutor, though never quite at the same level as Meredith.

  One night after serving in the District Attorney’s Office for two years, Mike and Meredith were talking at home.

  Meredith started out, “I think it’s time we take our marriage to the next level.”

  “You do, huh? And what level would that be?”

  “I want us to start our family.”

  “Really? I thought I was the only one thinking that. I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve also been thinking about something else, as well.”

  “Really? What’s that?”

  “Well Mrs. Carson, I’ve been thinking that I might be ready to go into private practice. What would you say that we finally make that move we’ve been talking about for so long and go into practice together?”

  “The Carson and Carson Law Firm?”

  “The very same.”

  Meredith radiated with excitement when she realized that once again, she and Mike were on the same page. “Are you really ready for that?”

  “I want nothing more than for us to start our family together,” said Mike. “And as for having you as my business partner as well as my life partner—what more could a man ask for?”

  “You, my dear, are a prince among men. Did you know that?”

  Mike smugly replied, “Well, of course I am.”

  Meredith laughed and said, “Brat!”

  The next day, Mike gave a month’s notice to Ruben Greenberg.

  After searching for weeks, Mike found a perfect office location less than a mile from the courthouse. They started their practice, Carson & Associates Law Firm. Things were going very well for them.