Wings of Deception

by Pamela Carron

  “Sure kitten, come on, let’s you and I bring the car around for Momma.”

  He looked at his wife and nodded his head to Honey.

  “Miss Magill.”

  Honey did not move from where she sat, as he took his daughter’s hand and left the room but turned to Carol’s mother asking in a puzzled voice.

  “How could she know?”

  Carol’s mother looked at her with sympathy.

  “You didn’t read the file we had sent over from the hospital did you? No, you could not have or else you would know that Carol is very sick. There is no cure. It started three years ago and… I mean the seeing of things, she has never been wrong, not even once. It really is an amazing thing that she won’t live a long life but she wants to help other people.” Sadness filled her eyes. “What’s so funny is that she is the one who comforts me and her poppa.” She got up. “Please take what Carol said to you very seriously. I would.”

  Honey still sat, not moving, as Carol’s mother said good-bye and let herself out. She barely noticed for she was wildly trying to figure out how this little girl could possibly come in there and know about her sister or the nightmares. No one knew. No one knew, because she had never told anyone, no one at all.

  But, the child knew. How did she know? How could she possibly know? Unless…unless this thing was real and Jesus really was real and what He said was real. What angel? Carol had said “You remember him, don’t you?” Honey felt a vague memory stirring within her. An hour later she left the office, telling Betty to reschedule her appointments for the next day, which was Friday. Her head was spinning and her insides felt twisted at just the mention of her sister Bea. And, the nightmares.

  She needed time to sort out what was going on. It was what she did for others on a daily basis. Now she desperately needed to do it for herself. There had to be a reasonable explanation as to how a complete stranger could just know something that up until now was her own private hell.

  Leaving the building, she got into her little black ninety-three Mustang convertible and started driving. At first, she just felt the need to drive with the top down, letting the wind blow her hair as it willed. She never consciously decided on going to the cemetery but found herself parked in the shade of an old oak tree that stood as if in guard of the orchard of tombstones. She did not get out; she did not have to, for she could see the double stone that marked her parents’ graves. For the first time in a long time she let her mind go back to the earliest of her childhood memories. Back before she knew what the word fear even meant. Before she understood what abuse was. Good memories flooded her, pushing aside the bad ones, as if they were old friends long abandoned, twirling, dancing and clinging, afraid of being banished again.

  She remembered being a little girl with cotton colored hair curled in tight curls and wearing dresses homemade by her mother. She remembered going to a small country church with her sister and brother, singing and learning about the man called Jesus. She vaguely remembered feeling loved. She almost touched a memory that eluded her. Hiding yet still deep within her core, teasing her and making her think it was going to come to the forefront, but she just could not quite grasp it and in disappointment she drove home.

  She wanted to do some research on Carols’ illness. The file was in her briefcase and she intended to get on the internet, an open source of information on anyone or anything, and a good place to start looking.

  As anxious as she was to get started on this, she really needed food. The coffee and two muffins left her stomach still growling for more. Her fridge produced enough leftovers to make a quick but healthy meal and when she was satisfied, she took her drink and started what would lead her to the reason for her life in the flesh dominion.

  It was way after midnight when she quit. Nothing had turned up that would explain Carol’s metaphysical phenomenon.

  She went to bed too tired to worry about having one of her nightmares again and woke up thinking that she should look outside the medical sphere for answers. Just maybe it was true that Carol learned what she knew from another source…and maybe she was wrong about God, Jesus and the whole spiritual thing too. The morning had brought to her more of an open mind and she was willing to concede that she may have been wrong most of her adult life.

  She had never been much of a scholar when it came to Biblical things. Since she was a child, she had not even read the Bible. Having found multiple sites online which shared different versions of the Bible, she selected one that opened a video and she found herself watching an elderly man read from the King James. At first she thought him boring but after only minutes, was fascinated by his down to earth reading of the book called John. Was the Bible as interesting as he made it sound? What she was hearing captivated her. She did not own a copy of the Bible, but by the end of the day she found her way to the town’s only book store and brought home a large one to read for herself.

  All the classes she had taken of positive thinking and belief in a higher power dimmed as the words she read became as a living thing to her. She was like one with a thirst that could not be quenched.

  The next day was Sunday and she was excited for she wanted to find people who believed in God.

  It was a big church, probably the largest in the whole town. Not sure what she was expecting she waited to hear the Word. There was singing which was nice and she tried to sing songs unfamiliar to her. There was a special speaker who told about a mission the church was supporting overseas, that she enjoyed hearing about but what she was waiting for was the Bible. No one read out of the Bible which had become a living thing to her in less than forty-eight hours. When the gold colored plates were passed, she dropped some bills in and thought; now we will get to the Bible, but she was wrong. A man was dismissing the gathering and though she spoke to and was spoken to, there was a void left in her that was just demanding to be filled with something that she had not yet found.

  She went home still hungry for something but really didn’t know what. That afternoon she curled up with her big black book again and read. She read all the way through Mathew and Mark before she quit. When she went to bed, she thought about what she had read of the life of Jesus, the Christ and how He painfully died for even her, but gloriously rose to eternal life, offering her and all people the same if they wanted it. She felt hot tears of conviction on her face, running down to wet her pillow as she prayed for the first time as an adult. Her being was filled with belief that Jesus was real and she knew in her heart that He truly was Emanuel, God come in the flesh as the man in the video claimed. Her prayer was not eloquent but a sincere one, causing all the angels in the Heavenly realm to sing praises to God, but one more than all.

  Ragas beamed while without much thought, whopped one little demon back to the abyss right then, who dared get close enough to the newly professed Christian. Several more of the dark evil imps slunk away fearing the great Ragas even more than the general they would have to face upon return to their camp. One who was called Whiney complained that General Osotuf always gave them the hard cases. The one called Ilie, was busy making up the huge fight that resulted in poor old Argo’s disappearance…and how they just barely escaped.

  Meanwhile, just as she drifted off into a wonderful and peaceful slumber Honey remembered her childhood friend and was sure he was the guardian angel of whom Carol was talking of. Parts of a poem floated through her mind and she wondered how she could have ever forgotten?

  My mother said he was not real but he was real to me

  We played and he told me stories as we were sitting in a tree

  He was so kind and ever near every time I had some hurts

  Sometimes he made me smile when all I felt was tears

  He did not wear clothes like pants and shirts

  But pretty flowing things and hair below his ears

  He had brown kind eyes and a nice smile too

  I always felt safe when he was near

  I miss my friend and I hope he comes back again

&nbs
p; Ragas moved his head up and down; silently giving God praise, for the time was surely here. Honey was awakening out of her stupor. She had found her eyes to see and ears to hear.

  ******

  She was surprised at how much things changed the days after Carol’s visit. She felt that up to this point her life had been only a dream and now she was awake, living every moment of each day charged with electrical excitement.

  God was not just some ‘higher power’ to her now, but the closest relative a person could have, her Heavenly Father. She understood where she came from and now everything in her whole life made sense.

  At the clinic, her coworkers noticed a change in her. She smiled more and her eyes held a brightness they lacked before. She asked questions of some that she knew were Christians and was surprised at how unenthused they seemed to be. Where was the excitement she had to wonder, that came with the knowledge that there really was a purpose to living. She had an irresistible urge to surround herself with others who felt the same way as she. For two weeks she was filled with disappointment, for the churches she visited seemed to care more about social status than learning about the God they served. Or else they had a bunch of rules that had nothing to do with living a Christian life. She prayed for God to help her find people who were as excited about Him as she was. She could not get enough of the old man who made her hunger for the Word and brought it alive to her. She studied daily with him, learning to use a Strong’s concordance along with her Bible for words she did not understand.

  She thought about the little girl who had changed her life drastically and wondered how she was doing. Then the thought occurred to her, that Carol’s family must have a place they went to worship and study. Why she hadn’t thought of that before was beyond her but now she would just ask them.

  Carol’s father was the one who answered when she called, “Ms Magill, of course I remember you. How thoughtful of you to call and check on Carol! We just spent a week at University in Jackson but she is home right now doing as well as we can expect.”

  “I am happy to hear that. Mr. Bowler, there is another reason I called. I was wondering if you go to church. You see, since Carol’s visit, I have changed. I believe things now that I did not before and I have been studying the Bible sort of on my own. I want to be around people who feel like I do and I am ashamed to say I have no Christian friends.”

  “Why yes ma’am, we go to Faith Chapel, just down the road from us on Charter Street. You know the little brown one sitting on the corner.”

  Faith Chapel. It had a nice sound to it. “I have seen that one but it’s so small! Does it study the Bible chapter by chapter and verse by verse there?” She was thinking about what the man had said on the video.

  “Don’t all churches?” Joe Bowler was a simple man and it was beyond him that anyone would go to a church for any other reason than the Word.

  Honey laughed.

  “No, not all of them Mr. Bowler and I would love to visit your church Sunday.”

  “It’s Joe and no need to wait for Sunday; we have Bible study Thursday evenings. Seven thirty. We would be pleased to have you come. It is good friends you’ll make there, I promise.”

  “Joe. I will be there Thursday then. Thank you so much! Please tell Carol I asked about her and tell her I am so happy she came to see me that day. It has changed my life!”

  “I will be glad to. She will be glad to hear that you listened to her too.”

  “Good-bye.”

  She hung up the phone wondering why she had waited so long to call. Of course it just made sense! The little church Joe was talking about was the last one she would have chosen on her own and she had a felling she was being guided by her new faith. It was a good feeling.

  FOUR

  Dwight took the now chunky little baby from Alice, a young girl he hired to be Gem’s day nanny the same week she came home from the hospital. Gem was eight months old and already trying to take steps.

  “Did you miss your daddy today, doodle bug?” Turning to Alice, who was tidying up before leaving for home, he asked, “How’s the teething going? Better I hope, so we can both sleep tonight!”

  “Yes sir, I think it is just about to pop through. We’ve been rubbing it with that teething cloth a lot and no temperature at all. She is just the sweetest baby, even when she’s not feeling well!” She took the reaching baby back from him to love on her before leaving for home.

  Alice was eighteen and this was her first year out of high school. She wanted to go to college, but there was just not enough money for her parents to afford to send her and she did not qualify for any grants. So when she asked to baby sit Gem for a reasonable salary he could afford, Dwight hired her. She had four younger brothers and sisters that she helped her mother with so she was familiar with handling babies and quite good at it. In case she was not able to be there for any reason, there was a long list of names and numbers of women in the church who would drop most anything to get a turn with the pastor’s baby girl. Motherless she might be, but she never lacked for female attention.

  Dwight still mourned Kim, but since his ‘dream’, he was more at peace with her death. He took extreme delight in watching their baby go through all the baby stages. Sometimes looking so much like her mother it hurt and sometimes looking so much like him it was funny. She had golden red hair and the bluest eyes that sometimes had a hint of green in them when she cried.

  He was also very content at Faith Chapel. A wonderful congregation of a hundred if not a few more, that were good people. Unlike some churches he had worked in, this one believed what the Bible said and not what man said it said. Another thing he had grown to love was that the people had such a real love one for another. When there was work to be done, they were ready to help, sometimes even waiting to get a turn to help each other. The few problems they did have, they worked out with prayerful consideration. Not a perfect bunch but mighty near and Dwight felt honored to be called their Pastor. If he was not happy, he was at least content with his life.

  The grandparents all visited as often as they could to spend time with Gem and him. They were always a welcome interlude to his single parenting life. It was also a time when he could go hunting and fishing with some of his friends from the church. He loved the outdoors and Gem loved being spoiled by grandparents.

  His mourning for Kim was quiet and soulful and though his outward cheerful facade did not fool his relatives, they were reluctant to invade his private grief for fear theirs would become greater. So the months went by and he suffered in silence with no one to share his pain. He had learned that no matter what happened in the world, good or bad, life stopped for no one.

  FIVE

  Jacks settled into his new surroundings as easily as he had ever done anything. The realtor did a fantastic job in finding just what he envisioned. A cabin built in the late sixties, overlooking the Ross Barnett Reservoir, recently listed on the market. With the five year lease advancement promised by his new employer, he made a down payment. It needed a lot of work, mostly minor stuff but the upside was that he could almost fish from his back yard. The swing was hanging from an old oak tree instead of the porch, but he thought he could live with that, too.

  His position with the ACAA turned out to be much more interesting than he had originally thought. The Abused Children Advocates of America reached far beyond Mississippi’s borders and he was working with some genius legal brains from everywhere, including New York. He had not realized the extent of the opportunity given him until he became familiar with some of these people. To head a department such as this was probably a greater privilege than being a state senator would have been, and much more satisfying.

  He was terribly upset and disturbed when he found out that Sheila married Morgan Belk. He wondered how it could have happened and blamed himself for taking her to the dinner that night. She was way out of her league and nothing good could possible come from being married to him. She was a Christian married to a known atheist and some claimed he w
as involved in Satanist activities. She would not return his phone calls, so he finally stopped trying to reach her.

  When it came to work, Jacks kept it straight up. He fought hard and he fought tough and he got things done, earning him admiration from the rest of the staff. He was no push over when it came to the courts. This area of law was his expertise, so the legal world in Mississippi began recognizing his name.

  When it came to his personal life, he had more social invitations than he could attend and was working on filling up his new ‘little black book.’ He was no saint and not interested in being one either.

  It was late one evening, just as he was about to meet some of his colleagues at a nearby sports bar to watch a college basketball game that he got a phone call from Sheila.

  “After all this time of not returning my phone calls, what could you want with me now?” His sarcasm was oozing.

  “Jacks this is a professional call and I will get straight to the point.”

  “Professional, hell! You can’t answer a phone call from me and you want to be professional now? What the crap is wrong with you besides the fact you are now married to a moron?”

  Sheila’s voice remained cool and aloof. “It happens that Mick’s firm has a client with a problem which involves a child in your area. An abuse case and they would like you to investigate. It is right there close by where you are. A friend of one of the child’s relatives contacted our office when they returned from a visit there. They are concerned for the child’s welfare, Jacks, and it sounds serious.”