“Really?”
“Yes. Really. How do you not see that?”
I shrug.
“Is your dad cool with you going to New York?”
“Um. I’m not going.”
“Emilia! Why not?” Bryn looks at me confused.
“I can’t just leave my dad by himself for Thanksgiving.” I explain hoping that will be enough of an explanation for her.
“Spend Thanksgiving with him and then get your butt to New York.” She pauses for a second and then adds, “If you’re worried about money, you know I’m happy to help get you a ticket.”
“Thanks, Bryn.” I say, my voice hesitating.
“What is it?”
“Well, he actually offered to buy me a ticket or he said I could go in their private jet.”
Her mouth drops open. “Of course he did. So, then what’s the problem? You want your best friend to accompany you?”
I giggle. “Bryn, I just don’t feel right about it.”
“I don’t see why not. If Mr. Moneybags wants to fly you to New York, you should let him. You’d probably get to stay in their fabulous hotel too. Am I convincing you, yet?”
I shake my head. “You can’t convince me. As much as I’m tempted, I’ve made up my mind.”
“Did you tell Logan yet?”
“Sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable having him pay for my ticket or flying on his private jet.”
Bryn stares at me with disbelief.
“You want to know what I think?” She asks.
“Do I have a choice?” I smile, slightly at her.
“You’re scared and you’re pushing him away. I get it, Emilia. But you two are crazy about each other. Do you really want to push him away?” She says with a sad look in her eyes.
“No.”
“So, it sounds like you already made it pretty clear to him that you weren’t going to accept his offer. Is the discussion closed?”
“He offered to come and visit me after Thanksgiving.”
“You should have accepted the offer to go to New York. Sounds more fun to me.” She smiles. “So, he’s going to meet you in L.A. or here?”
“Well, we kind of left that up in the air.” I take our plates and head to the sink. I try to sound indifferent, hoping she doesn’t press any further.
“Emilia, I know you well enough to tell when you are not being totally forthcoming. Give it up, girlfriend.”
I try and act absorbed with the dish cleaning. “Um. I kind of said that maybe we both need some space.” I spit it out so quickly that I’m hoping she failed to catch it all.
In a moment, Bryn is at my side, turning off the faucet. Forcing me to direct all my attention to her.
“Oh, Emilia. You have to stop pushing him away. Have you told him everything?”
“No.”
“You’re afraid?”
“I just think once I tell him he won’t want anything to do with me.” I murmur.
“If he’s truly falling for you like I think he is then you don’t have anything to worry about. But for you to move forward you’re going to have to take that step.”
“More baby steps?” I smile, slightly at her.
“Exactly.” She gives me a quick hug. “And look how great you’ve done with that.”
THE HOUSE IS DISTURBINGLY QUIET. Bryn has gone out for the night and I’m home alone with for the first time since the start of the school year with very little homework. The clock on my nightstand says it’s just after nine when I finally make my way into the shower. I close my eyes and let the warm water trickle over my face. It’s still relatively early, but I’m surprised at how exhausted I feel from work and my late afternoon run.
I climb out of the shower and change into my favorite pair of black sweatpants and a soft grey t-shirt. While I blow-dry my hair, I mull over Bryn’s words. Am I really pushing Logan away? Is he really falling for me? He told me that I’m all he wants. But he probably just means that in the sexual sense.
Once I’ve succumbed to his temptation…will he leave me? Or will he leave me once I tell him everything about my past?
I sigh as I turn off the hairdryer. I realize I have no answers and I’m just going to have to wait and see what happens. There are too many pieces of the puzzle to put together and my mind is far too foggy to make any sense of it. I head back to my bedroom and throw myself on my bed. The house felt so quiet before but now as I think in endless circles it doesn’t seem nearly as disconcerting.
I pull out my laptop and find I have no messages. I decide to email my dad.
From: Emilia King
Subject: Last night
Date: Saturday, November 3, 2012 10:36pm
To: Anthony King
Dear Dad,
It was really great seeing you last night. Thank you for making the trip here.
I hope you got home safely and your work went well.
I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks.
I love you,
Emilia
Just as I finish writing my email and I hit “send” there’s a knock on the front door. I quickly close my laptop, place it on the floor and then head down the stairs. Peeking out the front window, I can only see the back of a person, but I recognize the black sweater and denim jeans. I open the door.
“Hi.” I smile.
“Hi.” Logan replies and he leans down to kiss me on the lips. I find myself lost in my earlier thoughts. Staring into his bright blue eyes, I’m struck speechless. He smiles at me and his eyes shine with amusement.
“May I come in?” He asks.
“Oh. Sorry. Of course.” I say, slightly nervously.
He walks into the house and as I close the door behind him, I shake my head to gather my wits.
“You said you wanted me to come over.” He looks at me trying to gauge my reaction. He pauses and adds, “Right?”
I nod. Turning, I head up the stairs to my bedroom and sit on the bed with my legs folded underneath me. Logan kicks his shoes off and sits down next to me, taking my hand in his.
“Is something the matter, Emilia?” He asks softly.
“No.” I blink up at him. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, let’s see. You seem somewhat surprised to see me when I thought you wanted me to come over and now you’re acting a bit strange.”
I stare at him for a moment. He looks so sincere and my depressing thoughts of pushing him away are weighing heavily on me. If I don’t want to lose him I need to talk to him.
“I’ve just been thinking about us.” I say.
“And?” He asks, his blue eyes intense.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you, but I’m scared to tell you.”
“Nothing you can say…can change the way I feel about you.”
I nod. Then I lie back on the bed with my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. Logan lies down next to me. He’s on his side with his head propped up on his elbow.
“I was sexually abused when I was a child.” I say without any feeling.
“How old were you?” He gently asks while staring into my eyes.
“Twelve.” I blink.
“I can’t even imagine someone doing that to a child.” He says softly and then pauses a moment. “Who?”
“A neighbor.”
“Oh, baby. I’m sorry.” He kisses me softly on the forehead.
“I only remember bits and pieces. I think that’s why I always say ‘I’m fine’ when I’m not.”
He pulls me tightly into his arms.
“Then I lost my mom.” I pause for a moment. “Shutting down was the best I could do for a long time. I’ve gotten better over the years, lots of therapy.”
“Thank you for telling me.” He kisses me again.
“You’re not going to run away from me?” I attempt to smile.
“I’m not going anywhere, Emilia. I told you that. Besides, you’re the one who is always running away.”
I can feel him smile against my neck.
I yawn. “I’m really tired. Do you mind if we just go to sleep?”
“Sure, baby.” He pulls me close and I feel him breathe in my hair. Despite of what I reluctantly told him, his tender touch and comforting arms lull me into a peaceful sleep.
25
SOMEHOW I MANAGE to wiggle out from Logan’s body without waking him. Heading to the bathroom, I wash my face, pull my hair up into a high ponytail and change into my SBU running tank and shorts. Today is the West Regional Championship and I’m anxious to get to the track early to stretch.
When I return to the bedroom, he’s still sleeping. But when he moves slightly and stretches, he realizes I’m not lying next to him. His eyes blink open as I sit down on the bed beside him and lean on my arm that extends over him. Wrapping his arms around my back, he pulls me so I collapse on top of him. We are face to face; his blue eyes sparkle as I gaze into them.
“Running away from me so soon, baby.” He pulls me closer and kisses me softly on the lips.
I giggle. “Did you sleep okay?” I glance down at his jeans he’s still wearing.
“Surely you can’t be comfortable in your jeans and sweater.”
“I did sleep well.” He glances down at his clothes. “I suppose I need to be ready if you decide to kick me out…in case you want some space.” He teases.
“I only said that because I was worried about telling you.” I pause for a second. “I’m sorry I said anything about needing space. Do you forgive me?”
“I think I might be able to forgive you if you try to convince me that you’re really sorry.” He smiles as he pulls me on top of him.
“Maybe wear the maid costume? Would that help?” I tease.
“Hmm.” He says as he lightly kisses my neck. “I had something else in mind.” He whispers. “Do you have time to change into that now?”
I giggle.
“You think I’m joking?” He says in a serious tone.
“Um. No. Maybe later.” I giggle.
He moves me so that I’m now at his side, lying on my back. He props himself up on his elbow.
“I’ve got you back in bed, Miss King. I have to say I’m quite pleased that you came so willingly. Now, what shall we do?”
I giggle. “Logan, I have to go soon.”
“You’re so giggly. You seem to be in quite a good mood this morning.”
“Aren’t I always?” I grin.
“I’m not sure I should answer that…seems to be a bit of a loaded question.” He raises an eyebrow.
“So that’s a no?” I tease. I realize that I feel even more relaxed with him since last night’s confession. It’s like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
“I didn’t say that.” Pulling me close, he kisses me passionately on my lips. I run my fingers through his hair as he slides on top of me. His body is flush against mine as our kissing becomes more heated. He pulls back suddenly.
“You okay?” He asks.
My hands are still in his hair and I look at him with a confused expression. Is he asking me this because of what I told him last night?
“Yes. Why?” I breathe.
“Just want to make sure you don’t pass out on me.” He tries but fails to hide his smile.
“I think you’re getting a bit cocky about your kissing expertise, Mr. Prescott.” I smile up at him.
“Hmm. Cocky?” He breathes between kisses. “You know you really turn me on when you call me that.”
I giggle. “Even when I interviewed you?”
“Yes, especially then.” His tender kisses move from my neck to my lips.
He slowly pulls back and leans his forehead against mine. His gaze is heated as we both make an effort to still our breathing.
“You sure you have to go?” He whispers.
I giggle and roll my eyes.
Logan moves slowly off of me, propping his head back on his elbow.
At that moment, the thought of Logan surfing pops into my head.
“By the way, Mr. Sutton was looking for you yesterday. He asked me if I knew if you were going surfing.”
“He found me.” He smiles slightly.
“You two have been surfing together?” I say, trying to not sound amused but failing.
“You sound surprised?”
“A bit. Why didn’t you ever mention it?”
He shrugs. “I guess I thought you knew.”
I shake my head.
“Did you happen to sell a board yesterday?” His eyes are cool, inquisitive.
“Why do I have a feeling that you already know the answer to that? Are you surfing with him as well?” I mutter.
“No. I just overheard him in the water talking to Sam. Are you deliberately avoiding my question?”
“You’re being silly.” I murmur.
“Am I?” He pauses for a beat. “Did you talk to him, Emilia?”
“Sure. I sold him the board.” I say, casually.
“Don’t play coy with me. You know very well what I mean.” He says coolly as he runs a hand through his hair in exasperation.
“Logan, I will. I promise. As soon as I get a chance.” I say, apologetically.
“You had a chance yesterday and before. Are you certain you don’t have feelings for him?” His expression is frustrated, worried even.
“Yes, I’m certain…you are being ridiculous.” Now, I sound exasperated.
Placing my hands on his face, I gaze at him intensely. “I am yours.” I whisper as I pull gently on his hair, pulling his mouth to mine. I kiss him deeply, passionately. He moans into my mouth as he kisses me back with even more force. Abruptly, he pulls back, staring down at me with his eyes blazing.
“He wants you, Emilia and I don’t like it. You need to tell him…if you don’t I will.” He says, forcefully. Then he clambers out of bed.
“I will.” I murmur as I rise beside him.
Logan gently grasps me around the small of my waist. He lets out a breath and stares down at me.
“I don’t want to keep having this conversation. I hope you understand?” Wow, he’s getting a bit carried away. I’m sure Tyler knows we’re together. This is getting silly.
“Yes, sir.” I smile, slightly but refrain from rolling my eyes.
His lips twitch up in a reluctant smile. “Are you mocking me, Miss King?”
“Depends.” I smile sweetly at him.
“On?”
“Whether or not you are okay with that?” I blink up at him.
“I’m okay with that if…” He quietly trails off, looking deep in thought.
“If what?”
“If you come to New York.”
I sigh. “I thought we were going to wait and see?”
“Can’t blame me for trying.” He smiles. “Sure, we can wait and see but I can promise you one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m going to really try and persuade you.” He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips.
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.” I giggle.
I glance at my clock.
“Shit…it’s eight o’clock.” I grab his face in my hands and kiss him quickly.
“I’ve got to run.” I say, flustered as I grab my shoes.
“Can I drive you?”
“No. Thanks. I like to run there. It’ll warm me up.”
“I like to warm you up.” He watches me with amusement as I frantically grab my things and turn to head down the stairs.
I giggle.
He follows me out the front door. Turning to face him, he quickly pulls me into his arms.
“Eat something before your race. I don’t want you passing out.” He orders.
“I will…even though I like when you carry me.” I smile.
“Kick some butt, baby.” He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips.
“I always do.” I wink at him and then I turn and jog towards the track.
It’s late afternoon when I final
ly return home. Bryn is lying on her bed, talking to Josh on the phone. She waves and smiles at me when I peek in at her. After I shower, I change into a pair of comfy white sweatpants and a grey ribbed long-sleeve t-shirt. Heading back into my room, I throw myself on my bed and power up my laptop. I find I have an email from my dad.
From: Anthony King
Subject: Friday Night
Date: Sunday, November 4, 2012 8:36am
To: Emilia King
Emilia,
It was great to see you. Yes, I got home safely and work is fine. Hope the meet goes well today.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
I love you,
Dad
I hit “reply” and type out a quick note to my Dad.
__________
From: Emilia King
Subject: Today
Date: Sunday, November 4, 2012 4:35pm
To: Anthony King
Dad,
Hope you are having a good day.
The meet went well today. I finished first out of the SBU women and third overall. I’m very pleased since my goal was to make it into the top three.
Talk to you soon.
I love you,
Emilia
I sit and stare at the computer willing it to send me an email from Logan. I’m surprised…disappointed even that he didn’t come and watch the meet or at the very least send me a message. Grabbing my phone, I check to see if he’s left any messages on it, but there’s nothing on it either. Could he still be upset about Tyler? He was exceptionally annoyed about it this morning. Maybe he’s angry because I won’t readily accept his offer to come to New York.
I decide to write him an email, pretty much repeating what I sent to my dad.
__________
From: Emilia King
Subject: Meet
Date: Sunday, November 4, 2012 4:38pm
To: Logan Prescott
Logan,
The meet went well today. I finished first out of the SBU women and third overall.
Thought you’d be happy to know that I did it without having to be carried away ; )
Running from Romeo Page 34